I was so poor growing up - if I wasn't a boy - I'd have had nothing to play with

I came from a real tough neighborhood. Why, every time I shut the window I hurt somebody's fingers.

Once I pulled a job, I was so stupid. I picked a guy's pocket on an airplane and made a run for it.

My marriage is on the rocks again, yeah, my wife just broke up with her boyfriend

girl phoned me the other day and said .... Come on over, there's nobody home. I went over. Nobody was home.

If it wasn't for pick-pockets I'd have no sex life at all.