If it wasn't for pick-pockets I'd have no sex life at all.

With me, nothing goes right. My psychiatrist said my wife and I should have sex every night. Now, we'll never see each other!

I came from a real tough neighborhood. Why, every time I shut the window I hurt somebody's fingers.

Once I pulled a job, I was so stupid. I picked a guy's pocket on an airplane and made a run for it.

My marriage is on the rocks again, yeah, my wife just broke up with her boyfriend

girl phoned me the other day and said .... Come on over, there's nobody home. I went over. Nobody was home.