Mitch Hedberg
Related You cant live champagne life,if you cant buy beer. I DONT KNOW MARK TWAIN Aye, well, I've got my garden. LIKE I I told my Nike representative, 'Why didn't you guys use me for this?''' Williams said, laughing. LIKE I On the interception, I was out of bounds, LIKE I casually made his 'abort black fetuses' argument. LIKE I I can field my position. If I start worrying about being ready for a line drive too soon that means ... LIKE I I told him that he played a great game,'' said Falcons quarterback Michael Vick , who like Manning w... LIKE I I was so concerned with getting the ball out of my hands and not taking the sack, that sometimes I t... LIKE I I knew I had to throw the ball better,'' Manning said of his poor start. LIKE I I think the reason that I have that title or that moniker is because people don't know what to expec... LIKE I You're either ready and prepared to take on the task, or you're not,'' he said. LIKE I I did not have one butterfly out there today,'' he said. LIKE I Married to the Mob. LIKE I Hello you're with Drudge. LIKE I I don't expect Christian Fundamentalists to reach out to me. They are adamant that homosexuals are i... LIKE I throw enough shit at the wall and some should stick? LIKE I I'm not happy, that's all I can say about it,'' he said. LIKE I I know who you are. You wrote a book about my dad. BRETT HULL I am free only because my source, my one confidential source, wrote me a personal letter and called ... JUDITH MILLER JENNIFER LAWRENCE Get this (economic plan) passed. Later on, we can all debate it. , TO NEW HAMPSHIRE LEGISLATORS MARK TWAIN MARK TWAIN I write down everything I want to remember. That way, instead of spending a lot of time trying to re... BERYL PFIZER MITCH HEDBERG I thought I would write a love letter. But then, I wrote a book." - Suzy Davies, on "Johari's Window SUZY DAVIES MEGHAN MARKLE I never really anticipated this kind of impact when I wrote this letter to Director Mueller two week... COLEEN ROWLEY You know when I really realized like "wow" what a gift this is was when I sang at camp and a girl wr... CHARLES KING MARK TWAIN TIM CAHILL you weren't mine to begin with. IAIN S. THOMAS MARK TWAIN You know when I really realized like 'wow' what a gift this is was when I sang at camp and a... CHARLES KING DEYTH BANGER It's a sad day. I wrote him a big long letter for his birthday Saturday. I was going to call him but... JOE GLOWACKI ELLIE GOULDING NANCY REAGAN HELEN HUNT JACKSON I wrote a letter to him and told him to hurry back, I needed a sparring partner, JIM CALHOUN For me, being a writer was never a choice. I was born one. All through my childhood I wrote short st... LAURA HILLENBRAND My wife noticed that I wrote really good complaint letters about faulty products and that I could ge... BRIAN HERBERT I have already joined myself in marriage to a husband, namely the kingdom of England. ELIZABETH I (SPOKEN TO HER PARLAMENT) STEVIE NICKS Every woman and every man is God the Father's wife when the faithful soul is joined to our Lord Jesu... ST. FRANCIS OF ASSISI (LETTER TO THE FAITHFUL I Every woman and every man is the mother of God when we carry Jesus in our heart and body through a d... ST. FRANCIS OF ASSISI (LETTER TO THE FAITHFUL I Woman is always fickle - foolish is he who trusts her. FRANCIS I Long ailments wear out pain, and long hopes, joy. STANISLAUS I BAUDOUIN I Courage is like love; it must have hope for nourishment. NAPOLEON I When a girl ceases to blush, she has lost the most powerful charm of her beauty. GREGORY I I CHING I CHING I CHING I CHING I CHING I CHING I CHING I CHING I CHING I CHING ELIZABETH I FERDINAND I ELIZABETH I ELIZABETH I CHARLES I BAUDOUIN I ELIZABETH I I CHING FAROUK I CHARLES I ELIZABETH I ELIZABETH I ELIZABETH I When a girl ceases to blush, she has lost the most powerful charm of her beauty GREGORY I The moment you have in your heart this extraordinary thing called love and feel the depth, the delig... I. KRISHNAMURTI People are not an interruption of our business. People are our business. A man's worst difficulties begin when he is able to do as he likes. It is hard to look up to a leader who keeps his ear to the ground. The most wasted day of all is that in which we have not laughed. The more intelligent a man is, the more originality he discovers in men. Ordinary people see no diff... The intelligence is proved not by ease of learning, but by understanding what we learn. Communication is something so simple and difficult that we can never put it in simple words. Like threads of silver seen through crystal beads How much more grievous are the consequences of anger than the causes of it. ELIZABETH I In everyone's heart stirs a great homesickness. That is the supreme value of history. The study of it is the best guarantee against repeating it. ELIZABETH I ELIZABETH I ELIZABETH I ELIZABETH I ELIZABETH I ELIZABETH I ELIZABETH I ELIZABETH I ELIZABETH I ELIZABETH I ELIZABETH I
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I didn't have time to write a short letter, so I wrote a long one instead. 
How do I let the director know how obsessed I am and willing to do anything for the movie? Like, I w... 
I refused to attend his funeral. But I wrote a very nice letter explaining that I approved of it. 
I wrote my friend a letter using a highlighting pen. But he could not read it, he thought I was tryi... 
I used to be a calligrapher for weddings and events - that was my side job while I was auditioning. ... 
My first real writing job was at 'Rolling Stone,' so I wrote about rock-and-roll and politic... 
What I wrote... wasn't crazy... or a bullshit... or nonsense... it was what I saw! 
I wrote 'Lights' a long, long time ago. And I expected it to be on the album, because it was... 
I've found a letter that was written to me from a girl who was getting married. And she wanted t... 
As soon as I began, it seemed impossible to write fast enough - I wrote faster than I would write a ... 
It was my 16th birthday - my mom and dad gave me my Goya classical guitar that day. I sat down, wrot... 
Youth is the first victim of war; the first fruit of peace. It takes 20 years or more of peace to ma... 
One should act in consonance with the way of heaven and earth, which is enduring and eternal. The su... 
The quiet and solitary man apprehends the inscrutable. He seeks nothing, holds to the mean, and rema... 
Great effort is required to arrest decay and restore vigor. One must exercise proper deliberation, p... 
Although I may not be a lioness, I am a lion's cub, and inherit many of his qualities; and as long a... 
Fiat justitia et pereat mundus.
Though God hath raised me high, yet this I count the glory of my crown: that I have reigned with you... 
I am your anointed Queen. I will never be by violence constrained to do anything. I thank God I am e... 
Never make a defense or apology before you are accused. 
It takes twenty years or more of peace to make a man; it takes only twenty seconds of war to destroy... 
In a few years there will be only five kings in the world -- the King of England and the four kings ... 
Never make a defence or apology before you be accused. 
I used to be a hot-tar roofer. Yeah, I remember that... day. 
I once saw a forklift lift a crate of forks. And it was way to literal for me. 
When business leaders ask me what they can do for Indiana, I always reply: 'Make money. Go make ... 
My funeral," the Blue Man said. "Look at the mourners. Some did not even know me well, yet they came... 
My jaw dropped, ... I felt shame that I had to find out over the television, then felt sorrow and a ... 
You're not a wave, you're a part of the ocean. 
A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any other invention with the possible exceptions ... 