I'm a frustrated stand-up comic. If you hand me a microphone and I get one laugh, then I'll go on for 20 minutes.

As a stand-up comic, you have to do the road.

If you stand up for women, then don't bash me.

Let me put it this way: If you're sitting in a movie and you're watching me, and you say, 'Isn't that Michael Caine a wonderful actor?' then I've failed.

I'm not a joke guy; I'm not a stand-up comic.

If you think you're going to be up for an Oscar, you schedule your moviemaking.