I'm not necessarily proud of the World Cups and the grand slams won or lost, the amount of points I scored, this record or that.

To say I have played through four World Cups, two Lions tours, 91 international games and a ridiculous number of injuries and other setbacks gives me an incredibly special feeling of fulfilment. I know myself well enough to know that I will never truly be satisfied.

I would like to wish the England squad every success. I would also very much like to extend those wishes to Martin Johnson, Brian Smith, Mike Ford, John Wells, Graham Rowntree and the rest of the England 2011 World Cup management team who have been fantastic and deserve people to know that.

I like to think I play rugby as it should be played - there are no yellow or red cards in my collection - but I cannot say I'm an angel.

I play with a fear of letting people down. That's what motivates me.

When you're obsessive, like me, searching for something unattainable can become unhealthy... it's like falling through the air and grabbing at the clouds.