I'm not sexist, I'm just a realist.

I don't burn any calories trying to be masculine; I just happen to be from that world.

No, I had not read any other comedian's book. Not that I don't enjoy other comedians; I'm just not a reader.

Everyone in Hollywood thinks like a Republican fiscally by leaving town to shoot everything; they just don't vote that way.

I like my parents but they are just not good parents. They are nice enough people. I'm not interested in hurting their feelings.

I have feelings that are to the right, and I have feelings that land on the left side of the aisle. The thing is if you have 10 views that land you on the left side of the aisle and two views that land you on the right side of the aisle, then people just put you on the right side of the aisle. I'm not sure why.