If God dwells inside us like some people say, I sure hope He likes enchiladas, because that's what He's getting

I hope that someday we will be able to put away our fears and prejudices and just laugh at people.

If I ever get real rich, I hope I'm not real mean to poor people, like I am now

THE POOR AND THE SUBJECT CALLED "POVERTY" IS FILTH TO THE RICH AND THE SUBJECT CALLED "RICHES", BUT CLEANLINESS IS THE ONLY MARK OF ACCEPTANCE.

I hope that after I die, people will say of me: "That guy sure owed me a lot of money."

The next time I have meat and mashed potatoes, I think I'll put a very large blob of potatoes on my plate with just a little piece of meat. And if someone asks me why I didn't get more meat, I'll just say, "Oh, you mean this?" and pull out a big piece of meat from inside the blob of potatoes, where I've hidden it. Good magic trick, huh?