If I could uninvent anything, I would uninvent Hitler's mum, guns and broccoli.

If I could live in a cabaret, I would. If I could live in 'Moulin Rouge,' I would.

I've always said that if I could do anything in the world, I would be a professional golfer.

I was never a big guy in pubs. I was never the main kind of aggressor or anything like that, but I found myself in trouble because I always had a mouth that would come back with something, and there was just never anyone who could make me be quiet.

If I could find anything blacker than black, I'd use it.

I would read all day if I could.