If life gives you lemons...you know you have a Herculean hangover. Either that, or you're holding Tequilla shots in both hands.

The big picture is impossible to see, because it's so huge that you can only view it one pixel at a time and hence never see it in its entirety.

When 'so much' starts to seem like 'so little', you know you're on the wrong side of 30.

Every weekend I make life altering plans only to have them foiled by a monday.

My dad's very creative. I am the proof.

Walk a mile in my shoes, and you'll know I have really small feet.