If scientists seriously think natural selection applies to humans, they haven't been in high school in a long time.

One general law, leading to the advancement of all organic beings, namely, multiply, vary, let the strongest live and the weakest die.

Running is for people that can't manage their time well enough to walk somewhere.

Parents make really bad therapists.

If I'm going to Hell... It's Party Time.

How can I trust God? He dropped me into a dark hole in the ground and told me to dig myself out. Luckily, he dropped my friends into the same hole.