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If you ever have to steal money from your kid, and later on he discovers it's gone, I think a good thing to do is to blame it on Santa Claus


Jack Handy

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Later that day I went back to the old turf-house door and drew back the ivy. There between the stone...
ALICE TAYLOR There are three stages of man: he believes in Santa Claus; he does not believe in Santa Claus; he is...
BOB PHILLIPS The best thing you can do for your kids is to show them God working in you on a daily basis.
CRAIG GROESCHEL The other day I bumped into Santa Claus. A good bump it was, too! I ought to have been arrested, for...
HALFORD E. LUCCOCK This is the ultimate in feel-good projects. To make money and make people happy, it's a Santa Claus ...
CRAIG BELSER Knowing when and how to rest is knowing when and how to acknowledge your limitations and your depend...
CRAIG GROESCHEL The only reason you'd want to own it is if you believe in Santa Claus.
JAMES FENKNER They would have booed Santa Claus in there if he had the hide to advocate a No vote.
HENRY MORRIS Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus. He exists as certainly as love and generosity and devotion ex...
CHARLES A. DANA The role of the Christian is to let other people know what Jesus has done, not to think of themselve...
LEWIS N. ROE Naturalistic atheism debunks itself. It has no power to explain even some of the most basic principl...
LEWIS N. ROE It's important to understand that if someone calls themselves a Christian, it does not automatically...
LEWIS N. ROE Parents have to understand: if your kid isn't you, don't blame the kid.
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ANDREW TO Trading seems to be focusing on selective counters because investors are cautious amid interest rate...
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GEORGE MACDONALD The one principle of hell is – “I am my own
GEORGE MACDONALD God put Santa Claus on earth to remind us that Christmas is 'sposed to be a happy time.
BIL KEANE You must have traveled all night,” she heard herself say.
“I had to come back early.” Sh...
LISA KLEYPAS You have enough time to do everything God wants you to do.
CRAIG GROESCHEL They would often pull on his beard and say he must be the real Santa Claus,
VAN ORDEN I do feel I'm responsible to carrying on the music. That's what I was charged with as a kid....
CARLENE CARTER If you have to lie, cheat, steal, obstruct and bully to get your point across, it must not be a poin...
STEVEN WEBER We all ought to understand we're on our own. Believing in Santa Claus doesn't do kids any harm for a...
ANDY ROONEY The atheist might have no proof for the supernatural, but they also have no proof against it. If we ...
LEWIS N. ROE My father managed shopping malls when I was a kid, and my high school job was to dress up in an elf ...
KAREN DUFFY Heck, I think they've even brought Santa Claus in.
BOB SCHLAG Parents have to understand: if your kid isn't you, don't blame the kid.
CHAZ BONO Your "Not To Do" list is also important.
MANI S. SIVASUBRAMANIAN Christmas present from Russian Santa Claus.
PAVEL DATSYUK Express mail is always available, and we deliver on Christmas Day. The carriers dress up like Santa ...
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MIKE SINGLETARY Just like Santa Claus, a farmer works all year on a commodity, and at the end of the year he gives i...
RONALD DAWSON I soon realised that just because it appeared that way didn't mean it was true. As my thinking chang...
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REBECCA MCKINSEY At the end, what matters is that you tried
SOTONYE ANGA A Ritual to Read to Each Other


If you don’t know the kind of person I am
and...
WILLIAM STAFFORD A few moments later Mom opened my door and peered in at me. "Logan Hansen is here to see you."
...
JANETTE RALLISON If Santa Claus was a politician, he would only put billboards promising the best Christmas presents.
LJUPKA CVETANOVA If you steal from one author, its plagiarism. If you steal from two, its research.
WILSON MIZNER Whether you say that a god does exist, or that none do, it is a claim to know (or at least believe i...
LEWIS N. ROE In my study, there are stacks of papers to grade, books I should have read & reviewed months ago...
JESS ROW Each day I will accomplish one thing on my to do list.
LAILAH GIFTY AKITA I don't care if Santa Claus is the coach as long as we win.
JOHN MADDEN Your ears love to hear, so speak to it
SOTONYE ANGA What we've been on Jack about is just becoming a complete football player. I think he is beginning t...
BRET BIELEMA God is a Republican, and Santa Claus is a Democrat
HENRY LOUIS MENCKEN In order to honor God with your wealth, you first have to admit that you are rich. Most people won't...
CRAIG GROESCHEL Those who forget the past are doomed to repeat it
SARA SHEPARD A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car; but if he has a university educatio...
THEODORE ROOSEVELT A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car; but if he has a university educatio...
THEODORE ROOSEVELT Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus.
FRANCIS PHARCELLUS CHURCH If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell him is "God is crying." And if he ...
JACK HANDY A good many things go around in the dark besides Santa Claus.
HERBERT HOOVER On Christmas. "Santa Claus represents God on assistance," said Clyde.

"Santa Claus...
MILTON ROKEACH That's another thing, too. I think a lot of it is just being tentative, not wanting to put too much ...
BRIAN BUTTERFIELD When I was a kid, I believed in Santa Claus. But it was very tough because in the Dominican... there...
ALFONSO SORIANO That story you heard? About how we were all created by a super-powerful dude named God who lives up ...
ERNEST CLINE 37. It is better to be single and unhappy than unhappily married.
JAMES C. DOBSON I think early retirement is achievable for anyone who seriously wants to do it. It just may mean you...
DEBORAH VOSO God wants your soul for all eternity. All Santa requires is cookies and milk... One night out of the...
PAUL HENDERSON How lucky I am to have known somebody and something that saying goodbye to is so damned awful.
EVANS G. VALENS I saw that they were too close, ... He lost control of the ball for a moment. It was a good play by ...
MANU GINOBILI I think defense is the easiest thing to do to get yourself going. If you get a steal or a rebound, i...
JANISHA GEARLDS Many of every day blessings comes from your determination to do great.
NELSON RIOS Girl! I'm here to make you look Fa-Bu-Lous!
FAKE CINNA If your daily life seems poor, do not blame it; blame yourself, tell yourself that you are not poet ...
RAINER MARIA RILKE If your daily life seems poor, do not blame it; blame yourself, tell yourself that you are not poet ...
RAINER MARIA RILKE Nothing is ever as good or as bad as it appears to be.
JEFFREY FRY I like to play Santa Claus for people; I like to cheer people up.
DELBERT TEILLE The armored infantry was Santa Claus, the battle was out Christmas. What else for the elves to do on...
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LAUREN OLIVER The best to do with a death was to move on from it.
LARRY MCMURTRY The quest of the Inner Ring will break your hearts unless you break it. But if you break it, a surpr...
C.S. LEWIS I think we're still going to get a bit of a Santa Claus rally. But I'm not sure how substantial it's...
TOM SCHRADER [Political analysts tell First Read, however, that it probably doesn't matter how these potential oh...
CHARLIE BLACK It allows us to spend the money on the things we have to do before we can ever think about expanding...
JEFF WANGSNESS If SANTA CLAUS came down the chimney in a f**king jogging suit, you wouldn't even know it was him.
WAYNE COYNE He's really a smart kid that realized what he needed to do to get more minutes. Primarily he plays g...
JOSH MCPHERSON Why did you marry Dad, Mom?"
My mother sniffled through her nose, looked at me, then smiled. <...
MARGARET MCMULLAN If you have to say goodbye he certainly leaves you with good memories, ... But the most important th...
JOE TORRE Eventually I came across another passage. This is what it said:
I am not commanding you, but I ...
NICHOLAS SPARKS To kill a mockingbird. If you haven't read it, I think you should because it is very interesting.
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HARPER LEE You can't really get to know a person until you get in their shoes and walk around in them.
HARPER LEE

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JACK PALANCE Perfectionists are their own devils.
JACK KIRBY Control your own destiny or someone else will.
JACK WELCH I believe that people make their own luck by great preparation and good strategy.
JACK CANFIELD If you pick the right people and give them the opportunity to spread their wings and put compensatio...
JACK WELCH Mankind is like dogs, not gods - as long as you don't get mad they'll bite you - but stay ma...
JACK KEROUAC If I have a weakness, it's probably ice cream. That's where I get lax, sloppy. I'll snea...
JACK NICKLAUS It was only after the Grimms published two editions primarily for adults that they changed their att...
JACK ZIPES Though the Grimms kept about 100 of the tales from the first edition, they changed them a good deal.
JACK ZIPES In 1995, I founded a storytelling program for children called Neighborhood Bridges in collaboration ...
JACK ZIPES I have a daughter, Hanna, and I never read fairy tales to her. But I did tell her bedtime tales and ...
JACK ZIPES 'Once Upon a Time', 'Mirror Mirror' - those shows and films focus on women and their...
JACK ZIPES Fairy tales are with us day in and day out, not just in commercials, but references in the theater, ...
JACK ZIPES The Grimm collections were never intended for children. Not because kids were excluded, but because ...
JACK ZIPES Almost every single commercial on television for shampoo, sports shoes, drinks, food, clothes, perfu...
JACK ZIPES What the Greeks and Romans considered myths, we consider fairy tales. We can see how very clearly th...
JACK ZIPES Until I was diagnosed with mouth cancer, I'd never heard of it.
JACK WILD I guess I'll go to my grave as the Dodger, but at least I've made my mark on show-business h...
JACK WILD I'm thought of as a celebrity. Everything I've ever done... has been for children. As long a...
JACK WILD I look at what I've gone through in my career and I really shouldn't be talking to you now. ...
JACK WILD I'd definitely be up for 'EastEnders.' Just the same as I would if 'Coronation Stree...
JACK WILD It's very hard not to let fame affect you because you are continually being told how good you ar...
JACK WILD There is no buzz like performing for a live audience.
JACK WILD At an age when most youngsters are preparing for their GCSEs, I was suddenly a jet-setter, briefly t...
JACK WILD My lifestyle had made me a walking time bomb.
JACK WILD I know who Jack Whittaker is. And some days I don't like who I am.
JACK WHITTAKER It doesn't bother me because I can tell everyone to kiss off.
JACK WHITTAKER