If you've never met a student from the University of Chicago, I'll describe him to you. If you give him a glass of water, he says, "This is a glass of water. But is it a glass of water? And if it is a glass of water, why is it a glass of water?" And eventually he dies of thirst.
Shelley Berman
Related A glass of water with peace is better than several glasses of wine with trouble. Here's a glass of w... CONSTANCE FRIDAY Don't condemn if you see a person has a dirty glass of water, just show them the clean glass of wate... MALCOLM X Doctor: "Take the green pill with a glass of water when you get up.
Take the blue pill with a glass ... UNKNOWN If knowledge is a glass of water, then wisdom is the unlimited, infinite and not yet invented ocean. DEBASISH MRIDHA Life is like water in a glass. Drop by drop the glass empties. BANGAMBIKI HABYARIMANA A pessimist, they say, sees a glass of water as being half empty; an optimist sees the same glass... G. DONALD GALE Lady came up and asked if she could quickly have a glass of water from the bartender. JODI FINCHER If you have only a glass of water, then one person can drink. If you have a bucket, a whole family c... CHEN GUANGBIAO It is a lie. ARTHUR MILLER One day, someone showed me a glass of water that was half full. And he said, "Is it half full or hal... ALEXANDER JODOROWSKY Call things by their right names - Glass of brandy and water! That is the current, but not the appro... ROBERT HALL Call things by their right names . . . Glass of brandy and water!
That is the current, but not the... ROBERT HALL He wouldn't call a glass of water half full or half empty; he'd assume it was poisoned and run away.... MICHAEL REISMAN What's so unpleasant about being drunk?" "Ask a glass of water! DOUGLAS ADAMS I'm petrified of spiders. I hate them. I sleep with a glass of water beside my bed every night. ... KYLE SCHMID There's a monster outside my room, can I have a glass of water? M. NIGHT SHYAMALAN Keep a big glass of cool water close while reading this one. —Margaret Smith SCARLETT AVERY Let yourself be open and life will be easier. A spoon of salt in a glass of water makes the water u... BUDDHA Let yourself be open and life will be easier. A spoon of salt in a glass of water makes the water un... BUDDHA Let yourself be open and life will be easier. A spoon of salt in a glass of water makes the water un... BUDDHA SIDDHARTHA GUATAMA SHAKYAMUNI She was scarcely a year older than I was, dark-haired, slender, with a face that would break your he... GEORGE R.R. MARTIN As a scientist, my glass is always 100% full: with water and air TAYLOR WILSON My father once said, 'If you're in the desert and you're dying of thirst, are you going ... NICOLAS CAGE A folk cannot help you drink water you used to drink with a glass. KAGABO BURANGA JACQUES There was a still life on Billy's bedside table-two pills, an ashtray with three lipstick-stained ci... KURT VONNEGUT You’re a girl?” “Surprising, I know. Everyone thinks I’m older. SARAH J. MAAS Fine, she wouldn't mind if Kaltain and Perrington met horrible deaths, but Dorian would be there. An... SARAH J. MAAS How'd you remember my brother's name?" She shrugged, not quite understanding the gleam in his eye. "... SARAH J. MAAS She had no idea when she'd stopped loathing him so much. SARAH J. MAAS I'm the Captain of the Guard-I'm not exactly a catch for any of them." There was some sorrow in his ... SARAH J. MAAS What terrified him even more was that he trusted her. And he didn't know what that said about himsel... SARAH J. MAAS She lifted her eyes to his face, and found his gaze lined with silver. "Get up," was all he said. SARAH J. MAAS Can I be honest with you?" Chaol leaned closer, and Celaena leaned to meet him as he whispered: "You... SARAH J. MAAS She'd survived Endovier, yet she could still laugh. SARAH J. MAAS Really? Are you going to ask him to be your partner?" Isabelle asked. "It's like cotillion, this par... CASSANDRA CLARE Valentine whirled. Clary, lying half-conscious in the sand, her wrists and arms a screaming agony, s... CASSANDRA CLARE She threw the door open. The room seemed to be a sort of library, the walls lined with books. It was... CASSANDRA CLARE And quit baring your fangs at me. It's making me nervous." "Good," Simon said. "if you wa... CASSANDRA CLARE Something did happen, and I really don't feel proud of it. DEYTH BANGER It's unpleasantly like being drunk." "What's so unpleasant about being drunk?" "You ask ... DOUGLAS ADAMS The water, that circle of shattered glass, healed itself with a slow whisper and lay back MARY OLIVER Belief is like a glass of water that is either half full or half empty or about to get filled,depend... DAVID ATTA (A.K.A DAVIED ATTLARS & MR DAIN) Empathy is the new measurement of everything. It doesn't matter what religion you have, what God you... C. JOYBELL C. 35. God is entitled to a portion of our income—not because He needs it but because we need to give... JAMES C. DOBSON It doesn't bother me to talk about my private life, it doesn't bother me to talk about anything. My ... SHAKIRA Dear Optimist, Pessimist, and Realist: while you guys were busy arguing about the glass of water, I ... MARIE MUHAMMAD The Iron Rule of prudence for an Istanbulite Woman: If you are as fragile as a tea glass, either fin... ELIF SHAFAK The small wisdom is like water in a glass: clear, transparent, pure. The great wisdom is l... RABINDRANATH TAGORE He was done with politics and intrigue. He loved her, and no empire, no king, and no earthly fear wo... SARAH J. MAAS I am a man, and men do not drink pink drinks. Now, be gone, woman, and fetch me something brown." Ja... CASSANDRA CLARE One glass of water doesn't equal another. One may just appease the thirst, the other you may enj... JIL SANDER You're still lovely," Mor said a bit gently. Elain offered a half smile. "I suppose that war m... SARAH J. MAAS On the sea he wished to meet it, if meet it he must. He was not sure why this was, yet he had a terr... URSULA K. LE GUIN When I used to teach creative writing, I would tell the students to make their characters want somet... KURT VONNEGUT I fell off a chair onto a broken water glass when I was 3 years old. BUDDY LESTER Be grateful for every moment and every breath. TERESA COLLINS I promised to always bring up a glass of water to her before we go to bed, and she promised to never... FRED SAVAGE On a really good day, if I'm really trying, in the morning I'll have a piece of toast, vitam... JO MARIE PAYTON Many people are target people. Once when Louis B. Mayer insulted me I poured a glass of water over h... HEDY LAMARR It doesn't bother me to talk about my private life, it doesn't bother me to talk about anyth... SHAKIRA There was a thing waiting in the darkness. It was ancient, and cruel, and paced in the shadows.... SARAH J. MAAS In our absence, the violet early evening light pours in the bay window, filling the still room like ... MARYA HORNBACHER Unpretending mediocrity is good, and genius is glorious; but a weak flavor of genius in an essential... OLIVER WENDELL HOLMES I'm not saying that I'm better than anyone... I'm just saying that I'm one-of-a-kind. C LIONG A person of value have skill, a vision & a deep desire to achieve what they dream for. Happiness com... DR ANIL KUMAR SINHA A man of guilt acknowledges and changes himself immediately on being hinted slightly about his fault... ANUJ SOMANY The school year progressed slowly. I felt as if I had been in the sixth grade for years, yet it was ... LUCY GREALY The value of a consultant;An outsider can see what an insider cannot see or has decided to ignore. DAVID ATTA (A.K.A DAVIED ATTLARS & MR DAIN) A family is like a card game, on one hand, you can get a really bad hand and on the other, your hand... GARY F EVANS... The worth of a person’s quote is in his or her heart where it takes the birth and the value of the... ANUJ SOMANY Walking the rugged trail of the unknown destiny can be filled with walls crashing and cracks on the ... GARY F EVANS... It makes you wonder why the human race can be so selfish and self-centered sometimes, when on cold w... GARY F EVANS... To have a pet in the family is to invite good health into your lives.It brings happiness to all and ... GARY F EVANS... I can see you have a great deal of water in your personality. Water never waits. It changes shape an... ARTHUR GOLDEN كنت أصمت أذعن لمصيري. أحمل دميتي,أنزع ملابسها, أشد شعره�... مليكة مستظرف The norm which the society at large has set today categorically is in the form of preventive measure... HENRIETTA NEWTON MARTIN LEGAL CONSULTANT The issue isn't whether he loved you, it's how much. Too much. Love can be poison SARAH J. MAAS I am broken and healing, but every piece of my heart belong to you. SARAH J. MAAS He thinks he'll be remembered as the villain in the story. But I forgot to tell him that the villain... SARAH J. MAAS Night gathers, and now my watch begins. It shall not end until my death. I shall take no wife, hold ... GEORGE R.R. MARTIN Hodor," said Hodor. GEORGE R.R. MARTIN You do what you love, what you need SARAH J. MAAS I turned. Rhysand leaned against the archway into the sitting room, arms crossed, wings nowhere... SARAH J. MAAS I'm fucking the grave, I thought, I'm bringing the dead back to life... CHARLES BUKOWSKI You must save what you can of your life; you musn't lose it all simply because you've lost a part. HENRY JAMES Children are like a piece of glass. Once the glass is broken. It will never be whole again. TIMOTHY M. BANKS But it only takes a doubt. A drop of ink falls into a clear glass of water and clouds the whole thin... MATT HAIG If you look at a stream or river and close your eyes it will be amazing the flow of ideas that will ... GARY F EVANS... You know, he told me once, completely exasperated, you've got one glass of water inside your head, w... JODI PICOULT My writing partner, Nicki, and I became obsessed with a monologist who performs unscripted shows equ... EMMA MCLAUGHLIN There is an old saying that, you can't kill a frog by dropping him into hot water. As you drop him i... SOURCE UNKNOWN Like a deep sad note played beneath the ocean waving through the orb the memories of ... PAWAN MISHRA The crowds were like flies. It was terrible. One man was trying to sell water for 25 cents a glass, ... BOB SCOTT By the immediate preservation of eggs for home consumption through the use of water glass or lime wa... DAVID F. HOUSTON Is this the part where you say if I hurt her, you'll kill me?" "No" Simon said, "If you hurt Cl... CASSANDRA CLARE I name you Elentiya." She kissed the assassin's brow. "I give you this name to use with honour, to u... SARAH J. MAAS Nor had she missed when they zigzagged between levels, even though the building was a standard grid ... SARAH J. MAAS I will say this: when you take any substance, especially in baseball, it's half mental and half ... ALEX RODRIGUEZ That boy had wanted to be Ser Arthur Dayne, but someplace along the way he had become the Smiling Kn... GEORGE R.R. MARTIN I wish I was home", She said miserably. She tried so hard to be brave, to be fierce as a... GEORGE R.R. MARTIN
More Shelley Berman
The most memorable performance was my appearance in concert in Carnegie Hall. The first standup to d... SHELLEY BERMAN As a culture I see us as presently deprived of subtleties. The music is loud, the anger is elevated,... SHELLEY BERMAN How do you tell how a man has been funny? How do you do the sound of his voice? The turn of his face... SHELLEY BERMAN When he was sitting with you, would he be witty? No, SHELLEY BERMAN It's great conversation. In the industry, it's great talk, SHELLEY BERMAN We were sitting watching television, had finished a nice dinner, everything was fine. Other people w... SHELLEY BERMAN suddenly, we were moving. SHELLEY BERMAN Few, very few, will ever be able to craft a joke as beautifully as Pat. He was able to just make it ... SHELLEY BERMAN If I asked for a (stage) light, it was not an ask but a demand. If I demanded, I was having a fit, SHELLEY BERMAN one of the greatest humorists of the last half-century. 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African-American, all Americans, CHRIS BERMAN An idea is something you have; an ideology is something that has you MORRIS BERMAN As soon as they learned of these things, they sent a cancellation of their subscription, which they ... SCOTT BERMAN It's phenomenal. The growth down here has been tremendous. I thought I was coming to a sleepy little... DAN BERMAN isn't really baked into earnings estimates. ARNIE BERMAN When you are using a long-distance method to achieve sexual intimacy with a stranger who you never g... JENN BERMAN What Viagra does is it increases the blood flow to the genital area -- and blood flow is a very impo... LAURA BERMAN I dropped a guy getting a hot dog. A few holes later, he was OK. But it was awful. CHRIS BERMAN There's always a role for pornography and for fantasies, if it's used to the benefit of the couple. LAURA BERMAN You have to make sure the students are highly motivated to pursue their academic interests. DAN BERMAN We are so happy ... to have you as the first people to taste the beef which we all know is delicious... DAN BERMAN This fund is something I believe people on all sides of the sewer should support. People are going t... DAN BERMAN To have to wait four or five days is unimaginable. It makes you sick. But this is something that is ... SAUL BERMAN If Hamdi, who was seized on a battlefield, is entitled to process and counsel, then a civilian seize... MARK BERMAN I think the oral argument could be very interesting. I am hopeful, but not optimistic, that some of ... DOUGLAS BERMAN Things haven't changed all that much. DOUGLAS BERMAN If I were on trial for my life, I'd want a dozen mitigation specialists to figure out ways to frame ... DOUGLAS BERMAN It certainly could be a mess. DOUGLAS BERMAN What Clinton did reinforced the perception that there's a lot of harm and not a lot of good to be do... DOUGLAS BERMAN She's served the most onerous part of her sentence. 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HOWARD BERMAN We saw a lot of people taking advantage of the free supersaver shipping before its deadline in mid-D... CRAIG BERMAN It's our goal to provide our customers with the ability to find, discover, and buy anything they wan... CRAIG BERMAN Now they can take that and use the relationship we have with Fidelity and turn that into something t... CRAIG BERMAN We stayed up all night and partied all night for the craziest event in school history. I didn't slee... CRAIG BERMAN He really wants to get back to the work he's been doing for 15 years in search rather than running a... CRAIG BERMAN We strongly disagree with the judge's ruling in this caseand we're in the process of reviewing var... CRAIG BERMAN We strongly disagree with the judge's ruling in this case, and we are in the process of reviewing a ... CRAIG BERMAN Credit option volumes grew dramatically in 2005, and we expect a continued broadening of the account... DANIEL BERMAN Gilead has been extremely disingenuous. Gilead's access program is a lie. DANIEL BERMAN It seems like the drug industries are saying, 'The older drugs are available and they're cheap so we... DANIEL BERMAN This is the first time we've gotten one from the state of Pennsylvania. DAVE BERMAN There is one problem, however, at least for alternative experiments of the American variety (and pos... MORRIS BERMAN There is no question that there is a greater propensity to travel across all segments -- leisure, gr... SCOTT BERMAN People think you have to make the complete leap, ... Take Yourself to the Top. LAURA BERMAN This year's figures hold no surprises. Widespread use of illegal sites, made easier with the growth ... JAY BERMAN I've flown airplanes, and I've done boating. Brewing beer is less expensive ... It's a great hobby. JAY BERMAN I enjoy my beer. It's a fun hobby, and you get to drink your handiwork. 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MARC BERMAN I'm optimistic about the new shows, MARC BERMAN Advertisers believe that once you reach 50, you're over, MARC BERMAN the most disappointing. Nobody expected 'Invasion' to hold the 'Lost' lead-in. But it's losing a goo... MARC BERMAN Each network has at least one new show that's doing well. That's a real positive. There's not a sing... MARC BERMAN It's a two-network race between CBS and NBC, MARC BERMAN How much greater would their contributions to the U.S. economy be if U.S. copyright owners could acc... HOWARD BERMAN You've got to come in with a strong case as to how and what you've done to merit the promotion, LAURA BERMAN The field of medicine has been predominantly male, LAURA BERMAN Sex changes and shifts throughout our lives, depending on our age and depending on what we’re goin... LAURA BERMAN After 45, people are at a point in their lives where they know themselves, feel at home in their bod... LAURA BERMAN Sex changes and shifts throughout our lives, depending on our age and depending on what we're going ... LAURA BERMAN Otherwise, you just become partners managing the kids and life, and that makes your marriage more vu... LAURA BERMAN It's natural to feel bursts of anxiety, especially after arguments, LAURA BERMAN It gives us the opportunity to extend our giving for families that need financial help. KATE BERMAN People realize it's a great way to support the organization, while having fun. That's what it's all ... KATE BERMAN I always say it's about the fun and the fund raising, rather than the fast. KATE BERMAN You have tremendous values out there. Now that they've become so undervalued, the risk of liquidity ... JEFFREY BERMAN You have tremendous values out there, ... Now that they've become so undervalued, the risk of liquid... JEFFREY BERMAN We think they advanced the cause, JEFFREY BERMAN There are a lot of fallen angels and orphans out there. JEFFREY BERMAN It's pretty heinous, ... Small- and mid-cap stocks, and even micro- and nano-cap stocks, have not pa... JEFFREY BERMAN It's going to be a mixed market. JEFFREY BERMAN It's ridiculous -- it's like there's a little sign on the door (of small caps) saying 'Buy me,' JEFFREY BERMAN You'll see the market under enormous pressure, JEFFREY BERMAN He made it clear from the get-go that he didn't want to hurt anybody. JEFF BERMAN To us, his demands sounded rather reasonable. He didn't want a plane to Cuba. He didn't demand 300 m... JEFF BERMAN I feel sorry for George. He's a troubled person. He seemed to have some psychological problems. JEFF BERMAN We're absolutely not trying to replicate a bygone era. If we're doing these tunes now, it's because ... JEFF BERMAN We took this idea and ran with it. JEFF BERMAN Some resorts have a 'develop at all costs' attitude regardless of environmental impacts or public op... JEFF BERMAN There needs to be a coordinated response to the industry's green-washing. JEFF BERMAN The ski industry is going to come under more scrutiny than ever before. JEFF BERMAN Plainly put, the developer is writing public-land policies. And the Forest Service rubber stamps the... JEFF BERMAN It's cheating if your spouse considers it cheating. It's hard to give a blanket definition of cheati... JENN BERMAN When one person in a marriage is going to the Internet to get sex, it erodes the intimacy in the mar... JENN BERMAN A lot of people are engaging in Internet sex. But for people who are doing it regularly or are subst... JENN BERMAN It takes more than just being depressed. There are thousands or maybe millions of people who are dep... LANNY BERMAN That's just the straw that broke the camel's back. It would have to be more than that. There are tho... LANNY BERMAN As much as I would love to lead the charge (in finding out why boys kill themselves), try to go out ... LANNY BERMAN It's not uncommon to have somebody look good today, look terrible tomorrow, look good the next day. LANNY BERMAN The market is soft, and everyone realizes that. But it doesn't mean that everything has gone weak. T... PATRICK BERMAN The reason that the law is set up with secret ballots is that it's too easy to compromise someone's ... RICK BERMAN Every so often there's some money left and there's a fight over the carcass. But it's a cost-benefit... SCOTT BERMAN The power of the Internet players, and the investments they're making in video, is a threat in and o... SAUL BERMAN Life is obstinate and clings closest where it is most hated. MARY SHELLEY There is no such thing as women's intuition. You all just have crap poker faces. RACHEL SHELLEY I do have a fantasy piece of technology that would do my food shopping for me, and if you wanted to,... RACHEL SHELLEY I've always been Mac, so I guess I always will be. I can't imagine I will change now. RACHEL SHELLEY Yes I am definitely an 'Orange is the New Black' fan... Not an obsessive, but a fan none the... RACHEL SHELLEY We constantly abuse and defend a woman's prerogative to change her mind. RACHEL SHELLEY I'm not big on technology; I only get what I need. RACHEL SHELLEY