I'm Jewish. I don't work out. If God had wanted us to bend over, He would have put diamonds on the floor.

I'm Jewish. I don't work out. If God had wanted us to bend over, He would have put diamonds on the floor.

God always comes up with a third act twist -- and we won't know until we die whether the play was a comedy or a tragedy.

Our natures are a lot like oil, mix us with anything else, and we strive to swim on top.

Thank God we're living in a country where the sky's the limit, the stores are open late and you can shop in bed thanks to television.

Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is God's gift, that's why we call it the present.