It is art that makes life, makes interest, makes importance and I know of no substitute whatever for the force and beauty of its process.

Classic art was the art of necessity: modern romantic art bears the stamp of caprice and chance.

Dogs laugh, but they laugh with their tails. What puts man in a higher state of evolution is that he has got his laugh on the right end.

A smile is the universal welcome.

People who demand neutrality in any situation are usually not neutral but in favor of the status quo.

A joke is not a thing but a process, a trick you play on the listener's mind. You start him off toward a plausible goal, and then by a sudden twist you land him nowhere at all or just where he didn't expect to go.