It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass.

It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass.

My wife wants sex in the back of the car and she wants me to drive.

My wife can't cook at all. She made chocolate mousse. An antler got stuck in my throat.

My wife's jealousy is getting ridiculous. The other day she looked at my calendar and wanted to know who May was.

My wife is always trying to get rid of me. The other day she told me to put the garbage out. I said to her I already did. She told me to go and keep an eye on it.