Its's not good to have fears like this. It only makes it more likely that you'll die that way--a self-fulfilling prophecy.

I look back at James one last time, and he gives me his signature smile, wide and cocky. but it's not real. Sometimes I think it's never real. James is the best at hiding his pain, disgusing the feelings. He knows what it takes to stay out of the Program. He'll keep us safe.
He promised.

His angry expression softens, and then he shoves my shoulder playfully.
"Hey!" I push him back, to which he retaliates until I'm finally smiling.
I love how we can do that--break through the misery to always find each other.

I already know your sister is smarter. She's prettier than me too, but I didn't bet on that. I just wanted you to call her in here so she'd look at me again. It was worth the five bucks.

But when it comes to Michael Realm, I might be a little murderous. But just a little." He pinches his fingers together.

After all, suicide is contagious.