Jealous, adj. Unduly concerned about the preservation of that which can be lost only if not worth keeping.
Ambrose Bierce
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There are four kinds of homicide: felonious, excusable, justifiable, and praiseworthy.” ~ Ambrose ...
J.J. MCAVOY No formal course in fiction-writing can equal a close and observant perusal of the stories of Edgar ...
H. P. LOVECRAFT CLOSE-FISTED, adj. Unduly desirous of keeping that which many meritorious persons wish to obtain."Cl...
AMBROSE BIERCE I don't see anything at the moment to cause me to be unduly concerned
JACK GUYNN We are the only ones who really can care about the preservation Foreigners who come to excavate, may...
ZAHI HAWASS It is understandable that the public is concerned but they need not be unduly alarmed as all the nec...
MARKOS KYPRIANOU CLOSE-FISTED, adj. Unduly desirous of keeping that which many meritorious persons wish to obtain. AMBROSE BIERCE The American people would not want to know of any misquotes that Dan Quayle may or may not make. �...
VICE PRESIDENT DAN QUAYLE The Tokyo Stock Exchange should recognize that an exchange that is not capable of trading, may not b...
KAORU YOSANO And not only that, I also have the MacBook Air which is really cool. Even my wife is jealous of my M...
KARL ROVE We lost about 150 homes in the area to FEMA and that's a lot of revenue for us. We have trouble keep...
MAX PIRNER The Church should be more concerned about the hearts of the lost rather than the comforts of the sav...
TODD STOCKER The young man or woman writing today has forgotten the problems of the human heart in conflict with ...
WILLIAM FAULKNER Honor means that a man is not exceptional; fame, that he is. Fame is something which must be won; ho...
ARTHUR SCHOPENHAUER The first law of nature is self-preservation. Cut off that which may harm you. But if it is worth pr...
T.F. HODGE If London Towne is really only concerned about the developer owning it, then they have no reason to ...
CHARLESTINE FAIRLEY Be like the sun and meadow, which are not in the least concerned about the coming winter.
GEORGE BERNARD SHAW I was always taught that book keeping was more relevant than book reading. The only thing worth read...
ASHWIN SANGHI MINE, adj. Belonging to me if I can hold or seize it.
AMBROSE BIERCE Lost causes are the only ones worth fighting for.
CLARENCE DARROW You can only be jealous of someone who has something you think you ought to have yourself.
MARGARET ATWOOD That which is dreamed can never be lost, can never be undreamed.
NEIL GAIMAN The two men had a conversation. Brief, cryptic, to the point. As though they had exchanged numbers a...
ARUNDHATI ROY The only meaning of life worth caring about is one that can withstand our best efforts to examine it...
DANIEL C. DENNETT I am not unduly worried about the sale, and we are comfortable with the stock.
MARK DANIELS But in answer to your question about the conspiracy angle, I think that any historian worth his salt...
OLIVER STONE The real measure of your wealth is how much you'd be worth if you lost all your money.
ANON. The real measure of your wealth is how much you'd be worth if you lost all your money.
UNKNOWN The real measure of our wealth is how much we'd be worth if we lost all our money.
BENJAMIN JOWETT The real measure of your wealth is how much you'd be worth if you lost all your money.
ANONYMOUS Don't be concerned others not appreciating you. Be concerned about your not appreciating others.
CONFUCIUS When going on the journey of life we should always put caution to the wind and have strength in ever...
GARY F EVANS... To have the strength to go and fulfil your hopes and dreams is an aim worth your while indeed, but i...
GARY F EVANS... As a plaintiff's lawyer, I had always been jealous of the money that defense attorneys got from insu...
CHRIS BAGBY You can be sure of succeeding in your attacks if you only attack places which are undefended.You can...
SUN TZU Only that which is attained through effortlessness will never be a burden to you, and only that whic...
BHAGWAN SHREE RAJNEESH I don't know if this sport is ready for Marcos Ambrose. He's something else. He's the biggest racing...
EDDIE WOOD Don't ever cheat on someone. I'm serious. It's not worth it. . . . The only thing infidelity does is...
CHUCK KLOSTERMAN If you did nothing improper, you should not be concerned about answering these questions.
DICK DEGUERIN What I believe to be true I must therefore preserve. What seems to me so obvious, even against me, I...
ALBERT CAMUS If anyone doesn't think that the medical malpractice system in Wisconsin isn't melting down, they're...
ERIC BORGERDING Literature is without proofs. By which it must be understood that it cannot prove, not only what it ...
ROLAND BARTHES You can be the moon and still be jealous of the stars.
GARY ALLAN I'm a liberal where children are concerned, a libertarian where adults are concerned - and think...
DANIEL KEYS MORAN The individual's most vital need is to prove his worth, and this usually means an insatiable hunger ...
ERIC HOFFER The individual's most vital need is to prove his worth, and this usually means an insatiable hunger ...
ERIC HOFFER You want to talk about a matter of inches. No one was more distraught than Ambrose after that game.
CHARLIE WEIS College students have a lot of things they are concerned about, but the fact that 39 percent is most...
KRISTER ANDERSON The City Council really doesn't care about the Historic Preservation Committee or about historic pre...
DOMINIC CANDELORO Think about what they mean for the preservation of language, for preservation of text, for the abili...
THOMAS FRIEDMAN There is only one thing about which I am certain, and that is that there is very little about which ...
WILLIAM SOMERSET MAUGHAM If nature were not beautiful, it would not be worth knowing, and if nature were not worth knowing, l...
HENRI POINCARE If nature were not beautiful, it would not be worth knowing, and if nature were not worth knowing, l...
HENRI POINCARE The worst of charity is that the lives you are asked to preserve are not worth preserving
RALPH WALDO EMERSON But jealous souls will not be answered so;
They are not ever jealous for the cause,
But jealou...
WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE What is grand is necessarily obscure to weak men. That which can be made explicit to the idiot is no...
WILLIAM BLAKE Black theater is concerned about the totality of humanity. If people actually were aware of the symb...
LARRY LEON HAMLIN The worth of a man can only be measured by the value of his word.
WILLIAM STOBART MITCH We're really not concerned about a name, we?re only concerned about the support. Our end users don't...
DWIGHT SIMMONS The person that loses their conscience has nothing left worth keeping.
IZAAK WALTON Love is not about oneself, but about the other. It's not about keeping, but about freeing. Love is n...
CRISTIANE SERRUYA It is not the facts which guide the conduct of men, but their opinions about facts; which may be ent...
NORMAN ANGELL It is not the facts which guide the conduct of men, but their opinions about facts; which may be ent...
NORMAN ANGELL People haven't really picked me my whole career, so I'm kind of used to that. I'm not too concerned ...
KRISTINA GROVES Don’t be upset. Don’t listen to me. I only meant that I am jealous of a dark, unconscious elemen...
BORIS PASTERNAK Youth is about the only thing worth having, and that is about the only thing youth has.
EDWARD W. HOWE It might be great if you won. It's not the greatest game if you lost, ... You can say whatever you w...
CHARLIE WEIS Only be concerned with the fundamental you are working on. They can only grasp so much.
LEE DRIGGERS The only thing that's keeping Father Jean-Juste is vindictiveness on the part of the Haitian authori...
JACK LIEBERMAN yearning, n. and adj.
At the core of this desire is the belief that ...
DAVID LEVITHAN Who knows a man's name, holds that man's life in his keeping. Thus to Ged, who had lost faith in him...
URSULA K. LE GUIN Not only is your story worth telling, but it can be told in words so painstakingly eloquent that it ...
GLORIA NAYLOR If it was true, I'd be concerned about it.
GLENN MATTHEWS Some promises aren’t worth keeping.
HOLLY BLACK If you are not concerned about the outcome of a circumstance, you will experience no fear. Whatever ...
CHING NING CHU The thing I'm concerned about is equality. I want this to be about who's the best candidate, not who...
CHARLES FARMER It's not about whether or not someone is a bigot, but whether or not the argument which that someone...
CRISS JAMI Congress was more concerned about constituents waking up in the morning sometime in 2009 and finding...
JAMES GATTUSO In a society that glorifies the pioneers, it's easy to think that an endeavor is only worth purs...
WENDY KOPP Let go of what you can no longer keep. Protect what's still worth keeping. Believe in love most of a...
JOCELYN SORIANO Thus, the controversy about the Moral Majority arises not only from its views, but from its name - w...
EDWARD KENNEDY One of the things about animal rights, which is not the only thing that I care about in this world, ...
SAM SIMON If only the world were full of truth, things would be better.
JOSH CHILDERS Don?t be fooled by politicians whose only goal is self-preservation.
RUSS DIAMOND It's quite clear that the airline is facing unprecedented fuel costs, which have unduly affected the...
JOHN PALMER Hunger, revenge, to sleep are petty foes, But only death the jealous eyes can close.
WILLIAM WYCHERLEY Hunger, revenge, to sleep are petty foes, But only death the jealous eyes can close
WILLIAM WYCHERLEY A person who has wisdom understands that the knowledge can only be acquired not common sense,which i...
ANUJ SOMANY It may be that the majority [of the committee] feels somewhat constrained by its concern not to upse...
STEPHEN LEWIS It may be that the majority [of the committee] feels somewhat constrained by its concern not to upse...
STEPHEN LEWIS If you still have the courage after loosing all , you can be rest assured that you have not lost eve...
UNKNOWN I don?t know if this sport is ready for Marcos Ambrose. He?s something else. He?s the biggest racing...
EDDIE WOOD You know how we can be about things which sparkle and shine. We imagine they will put back something...
CATHERYNNE M. VALENTE What have we lost? Well, we've lost a scientist who is really concerned about the quality of life fo...
BILL STEELE Being overly concerned about going in the water or taking a walk in the woods, and less concerned ab...
DAVID ROPEIK Any religion that professes to be concerned about the souls of men and is not concerned about the sl...
MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR. You're better. If they say you aren't then they're just jealous, because you have to be better than ...
MACEY LADYGA Those guys are upset that they lost Game 1, but they're not too concerned. I was in that situation, ...
LARRY HUGHES The market is just gripped with anxiety about Iran. It's also concerned about Nigeria, where we actu...
ANDREW LEBOW The only way you can be concerned about being on a national level is when you've won a couple of sta...
BOBBY BENTLEY
More Ambrose Bierce
Destiny: A tyrant's authority for crime and a fool's excuse for failure.
AMBROSE BIERCE Belladonna, n.: In Italian a beautiful lady; in English a deadly poison. A striking example of the e...
AMBROSE BIERCE Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.
AMBROSE BIERCE Death is not the end. There remains the litigation over the estate.
AMBROSE BIERCE Immortality: A toy which people cry for, And on their knees apply for, Dispute, contend and lie for,...
AMBROSE BIERCE Litigation: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage.
AMBROSE BIERCE Suffrage, noun. Expression of opinion by means of a ballot. The right of suffrage (which is held to ...
AMBROSE BIERCE Laziness. Unwarranted repose of manner in a person of low degree.
AMBROSE BIERCE Sweater, n.: garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly.
AMBROSE BIERCE Doubt is the father of invention.
AMBROSE BIERCE Life - a spiritual pickle preserving the body from decay.
AMBROSE BIERCE Men become civilized, not in proportion to their willingness to believe, but in proportion to their ...
AMBROSE BIERCE Cabbage: a familiar kitchen-garden vegetable about as large and wise as a man's head.
AMBROSE BIERCE Photograph: a picture painted by the sun without instruction in art.
AMBROSE BIERCE Cynic, n: a blackguard whose faulty vision sees things as they are, not as they ought to be.
AMBROSE BIERCE Deliberation, n.: The act of examining one's bread to determine which side it is buttered on.
AMBROSE BIERCE Clairvoyant, n.: A person, commonly a woman, who has the power of seeing that which is invisible to ...
AMBROSE BIERCE Liberty:one of imaginations most precious possessions.
AMBROSE BIERCE Quoting: the act of repeating erroneously the words of another.
AMBROSE BIERCE Day, n. A period of twenty-four hours, mostly misspent.
AMBROSE BIERCE Success is the one unpardonable sin against our fellows.
AMBROSE BIERCE Optimist: a proponent of the doctrine that black is white.
AMBROSE BIERCE Litigant: a person about to give up his skin for the hope of retaining his bone.
AMBROSE BIERCE Ocean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man - who has no gills.
AMBROSE BIERCE Beauty, n: the power by which a woman charms a lover and terrifies a husband.
AMBROSE BIERCE OCEAN, n. A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man -- who has no gills.
AMBROSE BIERCE ZEAL, n. A certain nervous disorder afflicting the young and inexperienced. A passion that goeth b...
AMBROSE BIERCE For every man there is something in the vocabulary that would stick to him like a second skin. His e...
AMBROSE BIERCE Education, n.: That which discloses the wise and disguises from the foolish their lack of understand...
AMBROSE BIERCE Love, n. A temporary insanity curable by marriage.
AMBROSE BIERCE Quotation, n: The act of repeating erroneously the words of another.
AMBROSE BIERCE Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.
AMBROSE BIERCE You don't have to be stupid to be a Christian, ... but it probably helps.
AMBROSE BIERCE Ocean, n. A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man — who has no g...
AMBROSE BIERCE Fidelity. A virtue peculiar to those who are about to be betrayed.
AMBROSE BIERCE Incompatibility. In matrimony a similarity of tastes, particularly the taste for domination.
AMBROSE BIERCE The world has suffered more from the ravages of ill-advised marriages than from virginity.
AMBROSE BIERCE Marriage. The state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress and two slaves, m...
AMBROSE BIERCE Bride. A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her.
AMBROSE BIERCE What is a democrat? One who believes that the republicans have ruined the country. What is a republi...
AMBROSE BIERCE Nominee. A modest gentleman shrinking from the distinction of private life and diligently seeking th...
AMBROSE BIERCE Learning. The kind of ignorance distinguishing the studious.
AMBROSE BIERCE Consult. To seek another's approval of a course already decided on.
AMBROSE BIERCE Happiness is an agreeable sensation, arising from contemplating the misery of others.
AMBROSE BIERCE Life. A spiritual pickle preserving the body from decay.
AMBROSE BIERCE Acquaintance: a degree of friendship called slight when its object is poor or obscure, and intimate ...
AMBROSE BIERCE An acquaintance is someone we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to.
AMBROSE BIERCE A temporary insanity curable by marriage.
AMBROSE BIERCE Beauty. The power by which a woman charms a lover and terrifies a husband.
AMBROSE BIERCE Let me tell you what a writer is. A writer takes comprehensive views, holds large convictions, makes...
AMBROSE BIERCE Corporation. An ingenious device for obtaining individual profit without individual responsibility.
AMBROSE BIERCE Don't steal; thou it never thus compete successfully in business. Cheat.
AMBROSE BIERCE Philanthropist. A rich (and usually bald) old gentleman who has trained himself to grin while his co...
AMBROSE BIERCE Age. That period of life in which we compound for the vices that remain by reviling those we have no...
AMBROSE BIERCE Success is the one unpardonable sin against one's fellows.
AMBROSE BIERCE Education is that which discloses to the wise and disguises from the foolish their lack of understan...
AMBROSE BIERCE Destiny. A tyrant's authority for crime and a fool's excuse for failure.
AMBROSE BIERCE Edible. Good to eat and wholesome to digest, as a worm to a toad, a toad to a snake, a snake to a pi...
AMBROSE BIERCE Knowledge is the small part of ignorance that we arrange and classify.
AMBROSE BIERCE Erudition. Dust shaken out of a book into an empty skull.
AMBROSE BIERCE Saint. A dead sinner revised and edited.
AMBROSE BIERCE Insurrection. An unsuccessful revolution; disaffection's failure to substitute misrule for bad gover...
AMBROSE BIERCE Revolution is an abrupt change in the form of misgovernment.
AMBROSE BIERCE Impiety. Your irreverence toward my deity.
AMBROSE BIERCE Deliberation. The act of examining one's bread to determine which side it is buttered on.
AMBROSE BIERCE Take not God's name in vain; select a time when it will have effect.
AMBROSE BIERCE A prejudice is a vagrant opinion without visible means of support.
AMBROSE BIERCE Bigot, one who is obstinately and zealously attached to an opinion that you do not entertain.
AMBROSE BIERCE Pray: To ask the laws of the universe to be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly un...
AMBROSE BIERCE Eulogy. Praise of a person who has either the advantages of wealth and power, or the consideration t...
AMBROSE BIERCE Admiration; is our polite recognition of another's resemblance to ourselves.
AMBROSE BIERCE To bother about the best method of accomplishing an accidental result.
AMBROSE BIERCE A route of many roads leading from nowhere to nothing.
AMBROSE BIERCE All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusion is called a philosopher.
AMBROSE BIERCE A lowly virtue whereby mediocrity achieves a glorious success.
AMBROSE BIERCE Peace, in international affairs, is a period of cheating between two periods of fighting.
AMBROSE BIERCE Patience, n. A minor form of dispair, disguised as a virtue.
AMBROSE BIERCE Optimism. The doctrine or belief that everything is beautiful, including what is ugly.
AMBROSE BIERCE An optimist is a proponent of the doctrine that black is white.
AMBROSE BIERCE They say that hens do cackle loudest when there is nothing vital in the eggs they have laid.
AMBROSE BIERCE Calamities are of two kinds: misfortune to ourselves, and good fortune to others.
AMBROSE BIERCE Heaven lies about us in our infancy and the world begins lying about us pretty soon afterward.
AMBROSE BIERCE As records of courts and justice are admissible, it can easily be proved that powerful and malevolen...
AMBROSE BIERCE Before undergoing a surgical operation, arrange your temporal affairs. You may live.
AMBROSE BIERCE Politeness -- The most acceptable hypocrisy.
AMBROSE BIERCE A man is known by the company he organizes.
AMBROSE BIERCE Logic, n. The art of thinking and reasoning in strict accordance with the limitations and incapaciti...
AMBROSE BIERCE Enthusiasm. A distemper of youth, curable by small doses of repentance in connection with outward ap...
AMBROSE BIERCE Egotist. A person of low taste, more interested in himself than me.
AMBROSE BIERCE An egotist is a person interested in himself than in me!
AMBROSE BIERCE Duty. That which sternly impels us in the direction of profit, along the line of desire.
AMBROSE BIERCE Opiate. An unlocked door in the prison of Identity. It leads into the jail yard.
AMBROSE BIERCE Insurance: An ingenious modern game of chance in which the player is permitted to enjoy the comforta...
AMBROSE BIERCE Backbite. To speak of a man as you find him when he can't find you.
AMBROSE BIERCE Alien. An American sovereign in his probationary state.
AMBROSE BIERCE Miss: A title with which we brand unmarried women to indicate that they are in the market. Miss, Mis...
AMBROSE BIERCE Witticism. A sharp and clever remark, usually quoted and seldom noted; what the Philistine is please...
AMBROSE BIERCE Wit. The salt with which the American humorist spoils his intellectual cookery by leaving it out.
AMBROSE BIERCE A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man, who has no gills.
AMBROSE BIERCE Impartial. Unable to perceive any promise of personal advantage from espousing either side of a cont...
AMBROSE BIERCE Dog. A kind of additional or subsidiary Deity designed to catch the overflow and surplus of the worl...
AMBROSE BIERCE Physician -- One upon whom we set our hopes when ill and our dogs when well.
AMBROSE BIERCE Divorce. A resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.
AMBROSE BIERCE Consul. In American politics, a person who having failed to secure an office from the people is give...
AMBROSE BIERCE Forgetfulness. A gift of God bestowed upon debtors in compensation for their destitution of conscien...
AMBROSE BIERCE A cynic is a blackguard whose faulty vision sees things as they are, and not as they ought to be.
AMBROSE BIERCE Confidante. One entrusted by A with the secrets of B confided to herself by C.
AMBROSE BIERCE The gambling known as business looks with austere disfavor upon the business known as gambling.
AMBROSE BIERCE Future. That period of time in which our affairs prosper, our friends are true and our happiness is ...
AMBROSE BIERCE A funeral is a pageant whereby we attest our respect for the dead by enriching the undertaker.
AMBROSE BIERCE An accident is an inevitable occurrence due to the actions of immutable natural laws.
AMBROSE BIERCE To apologize is to lay the foundation for a future offense.
AMBROSE BIERCE An account, mostly false, of events, mostly unimportant, which are brought about by rulers, mostly k...
AMBROSE BIERCE Historian. A broad -- gauge gossip.
AMBROSE BIERCE Habit is a shackle for the free.
AMBROSE BIERCE Laughter -- An interior convulsion, producing a distortion of the features and accompanied by inarti...
AMBROSE BIERCE Litigant. A person about to give up his skin for the hope of retaining his bones.
AMBROSE BIERCE Appeal. In law, to put the dice into the box for another throw.
AMBROSE BIERCE Trial. A formal inquiry designed to prove and put upon record the blameless characters of judges, ad...
AMBROSE BIERCE Experience is a revelation in the light of which we renounce our errors of youth for those of age.
AMBROSE BIERCE Experience. The wisdom that enables us to recognize in an undesirable old acquaintance the folly tha...
AMBROSE BIERCE The act of repeating erroneously the words of another.
AMBROSE BIERCE PROPHECY, n. The art and practice of selling one's credibility for future delivery.
AMBROSE BIERCE When in Rome, do as Rome does.
AMBROSE BIERCE To be positive: to be mistaken at the top of one's voice.
AMBROSE BIERCE Censor, n. An officer of certain governments, employed to supress the works of genius. Among the Rom...
AMBROSE BIERCE Bore -- a person who talks when you wish him to listen.
AMBROSE BIERCE Ambition. An overmastering desire to be vilified by enemies while living and made ridiculous by frie...
AMBROSE BIERCE Irreligion. The principal one of the great faiths of the world.
AMBROSE BIERCE Faith: Belief without evidence in what is told by one who speaks without knowledge, of things withou...
AMBROSE BIERCE Architect. One who drafts a plan of your house, and plans a draft of your money.
AMBROSE BIERCE Genealogy. An account of one's descent from an ancestor who did not particularly care to trace his o...
AMBROSE BIERCE Absurdity. A statement or belief manifestly inconsistent with one's own opinion.
AMBROSE BIERCE Abstainer. A weak man who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure.
AMBROSE BIERCE Woman absent is woman dead.
AMBROSE BIERCE The covers of this book are too far apart.
AMBROSE BIERCE Abscond. To move in a mysterious way, commonly with the property of another.
AMBROSE BIERCE Creditor. One of a tribe of savages dwelling beyond the Financial Straits and dreaded for their deso...
AMBROSE BIERCE A coward is one who in a perilous emergency thinks with his legs.
AMBROSE BIERCE Conservative. A statesman who is enamored of existing evils, as distinguished from a Liberal, who wi...
AMBROSE BIERCE The Senate is a body of old men charged with high duties and misdemeanors.
AMBROSE BIERCE Compromise. Such an adjustment of conflicting interests as gives each adversary the satisfaction of ...
AMBROSE BIERCE Alliance. In international politics, the union of two thieves who have their hands so deeply inserte...
AMBROSE BIERCE ALLIANCE, n. In international politics, the union of two thieves who have their hands so deeply in...
AMBROSE BIERCE Acquaintance is a degree of friendship called slight when its object is poor and obscure, and intima...
AMBROSE BIERCE ARSENIC, n. A kind of cosmetic greatly affected by the ladies, whom it greatly affects in turn."Eat ...
AMBROSE BIERCE Compromise. Such an adjustment of conflicting interests as gives each adversary the satisfaction o...
AMBROSE BIERCE Convent. A place of retirement for women who wish for leisure to meditate upon the sin of idleness.
AMBROSE BIERCE Religion. A daughter of Hope and Fear, explaining to Ignorance the nature of the Unknowable.
AMBROSE BIERCE International arbitration may be defined as the substitution of many burning questions for a smoulde...
AMBROSE BIERCE DIPLOMACY, n. Lying in state, or the patriotic art of lying for one's country.
AMBROSE BIERCE Calamities are of two kinds. Misfortune to ourselves, and good fortune to others.
AMBROSE BIERCE Calamities are of two kinds: misfortune to ourselves, and good fortune to others.
AMBROSE BIERCE A bride is a woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her.
AMBROSE BIERCE Painting, n.: The art of protecting flat surfaces from the weather, and exposing them to the critic.
AMBROSE BIERCE There are 4 kinds of Homicide: felonious, excusable, justifiable, and praiseworthy.
AMBROSE BIERCE FIDELITY, n. A virtue peculiar to those who are about to be betrayed.
AMBROSE BIERCE ZOOLOGY, n. The science and history of the animal kingdom, including its king, the House Fly ("Mus...
AMBROSE BIERCE HIPPOGRIFF, n. An animal (now extinct) which was half horse and half griffin. The griffin was a com...
AMBROSE BIERCE ZENITH, n. The point in the heavens directly overhead to a man standing or a growing cabbage. A m...
AMBROSE BIERCE YANKEE, n. In Europe, an American. In the Northern States of our Union, a New Englander. In the So...
AMBROSE BIERCE Hypocrisy: prejudice with a halo
AMBROSE BIERCE Forgetfulness. A gift of God bestowed upon debtors in compensation for their destitution of conscie...
AMBROSE BIERCE One who is in a perilous emergency thinks with his legs.
AMBROSE BIERCE OBSESSED, p.p. Vexed by an evil spirit, like the Gadarene swine and other critics. Obsession was onc...
AMBROSE BIERCE Optimism. The doctrine or belief that everything is beautiful, including what is ugly.
AMBROSE BIERCE Women and foxes, being weak, are distinguished by superior tact.
AMBROSE BIERCE Saint: A dead sinner revised and edited.
AMBROSE BIERCE QUEEN, n. A woman by whom the realm is ruled when there is a king, and through whom it is ruled wh...
AMBROSE BIERCE When you are ill make haste to forgive your enemies, for you may recover.
AMBROSE BIERCE Electricity seems destined to play a most important part in the arts and industries. The question of...
AMBROSE BIERCE Electricity is the power that causes all natural phenomena not known to be caused by something else.
AMBROSE BIERCE ECCENTRICITY, n. A method of distinction so cheap that fools employ it to accentuate their incapaci...
AMBROSE BIERCE LAND, n. A part of the earth's surface, considered as property. The theory that land is property s...
AMBROSE BIERCE The gambling known as business looks with austere disfavor upon the business known as gambling.
AMBROSE BIERCE Birth: The first and direst of all disasters.
AMBROSE BIERCE Dawn: When men of reason go to bed.
AMBROSE BIERCE Politics: A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. The conduct of public affai...
AMBROSE BIERCE Amnesty, n. The state's magnanimity to those offenders whom it would be too expensive to punish.
AMBROSE BIERCE Patriotism. Combustible rubbish ready to the torch of any one ambitious to illuminate his name.
AMBROSE BIERCE Admiral. That part of a warship which does the talking while the figurehead does the thinking.
AMBROSE BIERCE Famous, adj.: Conspicuously miserable.
AMBROSE BIERCE Positive, adj.: Mistaken at the top of one's voice.
AMBROSE BIERCE Mad, adj. Affected with a high degree of intellectual independence.
AMBROSE BIERCE Edible, adj.: Good to eat, and wholesome to digest, as a worm to a toad, a toad to a snake, a snake ...
AMBROSE BIERCE Dog - a kind of additional or subsidiary Deity designed to catch the overflow and surplus of the wor...
AMBROSE BIERCE Acquaintance. A person whom we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to.
AMBROSE BIERCE Perseverance - a lowly virtue whereby mediocrity achieves an inglorious success.
AMBROSE BIERCE Logic: The art of thinking and reasoning in strict accordance with the limitations and incapacities ...
AMBROSE BIERCE Prescription: A physician's guess at what will best prolong the situation with least harm to the...
AMBROSE BIERCE Lawsuit: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage.
AMBROSE BIERCE Compromise, n. Such an adjustment of conflicting interests as gives each adversary the satisfaction ...
AMBROSE BIERCE The best thing to do with the best things in life is to give them up.
AMBROSE BIERCE TELEPHONE n. An invention of the devil which abrogates some of the advantages of making a disagreeab...
AMBROSE BIERCE Egotist, n. A person of low taste, more interested in himself than in me.
AMBROSE BIERCE Positive, adj.: Mistaken at the top of one's voice.
AMBROSE BIERCE Beauty, n: the power by which a woman charms a lover and terrifies a husband.
AMBROSE BIERCE Sweater, n. Garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly.
AMBROSE BIERCE Sabbath - a weekly festival having its origin in the fact that God made the world in six days and wa...
AMBROSE BIERCE The small part of ignorance that we arrange and classify we give the name of knowledge.
AMBROSE BIERCE