FastSaying

Just picked up a black pair of scissors thinking they were my glasses.
That definitely would't have enhanced my eyesight.

Phil Lester

Phil Lester

accidental-injuriesoddsightsillyweird

Related Quotes

It's weird that apples bruise like humans. I'm glad they don't scream when you bite into them.
— Phil Lester
abstract-thinkinghumorsilly
Do people normally wear boxers under their pyjamas?
— Phil Lester
humorrandom-thoughtsilly
I've been embarrassing myself since about birth.
— Phil Lester
birthembarrassmenthumor
The injuries just didn't coincide with an accidental fall.
— Stacy Flores
AccidentalCoincideFall
If someone invented a thermometer that measured weirdness, it would probably melt under my tongue.
— Dean Koontz
oddweirdweirdness