Art Buchwald
Related ART BUCHWALD THEODORE ROETHKE i am not what you say i am, i am what god says i am BAILEY CHANDRA CHUCK PALAHNIUK JACK WHITE I hear it everywhere I go. I should have worn my shirt. It says, 'I am not Shaq. GLEN DAVIS S. I. HAYAKAWA S. I. HAYAKAWA CARL HIAASEN GABBY DOUGLAS I’m William James Carter. My friends call me Will,” he says. “I’m Lucy Janette Phillips,” ... IF I WAKE BOB BARR KERRY WASHINGTON JACK LONDON A quote isn't a quote until that quote is quotably quoted by and official Quotesman I AM TIMEPIECE The internet has too much information out there for you to ask a dumb question I AM TIMEPIECE I am no longer a rare breed, I am an endangered species I AM TIMEPIECE I wish there was an edit button on Life because sometimes we don't realize the mistakes we've made u... I AM TIMEPIECE Life are full of memories, capture them I AM TIMEPIECE I don't fit in because I was born to stand out I AM TIMEPIECE COLLEEN HOOVER I am not bitter, I have just been used a bit,taken for a fool.lied to by the one i loved.I regret th... TANICA S HALL I have learned that I am a one-woman man. ALEJANDRO GONZALEZ INARRITU Its almost as if the way you imagine my dead self says more about you than it says about either th... , THE FAULT IN OUR STARS, 2012 I am always worried when someone says, 'This is perfect.' BAZ LUHRMANN ANNA FREUD Mr knowledge says i am greater,but Mr wisdom says i am the greatest,because i know both theory & pra... DAVID ATTA (A.K.A DAVIED ATTLARS & MR DAIN) I have a great T-shirt that I received at the New Jersey Hall of Fame when I was inducted. It says -... JUDY BLUME RICHARD M. NIXON ADOLF HITLER ED ROLLINS DOUGLAS ADAMS DEYTH BANGER CRAIG D. LOUNSBROUGH GOLDA MEIR AULIQ ICE OLIVER WENDELL HOLMES RALPH WALDO EMERSON The Self says ‘I AM’–as in the very grand sayings of Christ, especially in the Gospel of John,... RAVI RAVINDRA MILES DAVIS TOM SELLECK TOM CLANCY CHARLES SPURGEON VIRGIL EDDIE IZZARD EDDIE IZZARD I got a hundred bucks says my baby beats Pete's baby. I just think genetics are in my favour. ANDRE AGASSI Says he, 'I am a handsome man, but I'm a gay deceiver'. GEORGE COLMAN DOUGLAS ADAMS DAVID A. ADLER Here I am at the turn of the millennium and I'm still the last man to have walked on the moon, s... EUGENE CERNAN Here I am at the turn of the millennium and I'm still the last man to have walked on the moon, s... GENE CERNAN All the stories I would like to write persecute me. When I am in my chamber, it seems as if they are... UMBERTO ECO think about politics," Rabbit says. "That's one of my Goddam precious American rights... JOHN UPDIKE MIKE WALLACE EDUARDO GALEANO ADAM SANDLER JACK WHITE You need to have one element about your outfit that is imperfect, that says you live in it and you&#... PAUL FEIG I am an artist and have no right buggering about with verbs and split infinitives, which is what bei... RALPH STEADMAN And my mom comes upstairs and she says, 'Something is wrong with you.' I wouldn't even talk. She say... FANTASIA BARRINO its so hurting when people lie to your face and says "hey i am not mean" , infact everybody is mean ... MUZAFFAR ABBAS NEWT GINGRICH I have had to make a decision I may not agree with, but I am required to follow the letter of the la... CHARLES T. CANADY JOHN FITZGERALD KENNEDY My wife says I'm much happier when I'm not a regular on a TV show. ALAN DALE I got a hundred bucks says my baby beats Pete's baby. I just think genetics are in my favour. ANDRE AGASSI ERICH FROMM I have 3.5 million customers including ex-US presidents Ronald Reagan, Jimmy Carter and movie stars ... DENNIS HOPE TAHEREH MAFI I sit with my toes in a brook,
And if any one axes forwhy?
I hits them a rap with my crook,
... HORACE WALPOLE You are needy,while I am needless & I am ready to meet your needs,so says the religious organisation... DAVID ATTA (A.K.A DAVIED ATTLARS & MR DAIN) I'm surprised at people who have a passion for Mitt Romney, because he's taken every positio... MARK HAMILL I am always more interested in performance and character depiction, and my direction says as much. LASSE HALLSTROM CHERIE LUNGHI DOUGLAS ADAMS No matter what happens, or what someone says, it will not change WHO I AM. CASEY Literally, if someone says I am grounded, everyday I am at home, I actually have my hands in the gro... EMILIO ESTEVEZ I go to the gym, do some martial arts, and I love poetry. I have a tattoo of my family crest, and an... STEVEN R. MCQUEEN FRIEDRICH NIETZSCHE There's nothing yet. We'll just have to wait and see what Dr. Andrews says after he gets a look at i... TOM CONDON TONY BENNETT TONY BENNETT And the bar tender says to Renee Descartes, "Another beer?" And Descartes says, "I think not," and d... ALFRED BESTER RAINBOW ROWELL DREW GODDARD Whether I am No. 1 or not, I will just study, hit the weight room and work out. I have to get to be ... CURTIS PULLEY ERICH FROMM I am not a methodical singer. I don't follow any process or rules; what I follow is just my hear... KAILASH KHER Yes, yes," said the Beast, "my heart is good, but still I am a monster." JEANNE-MARIE LEPRINCE DE BEAUMONT I think serial monogamy says it all. TRACEY ULLMAN I am ready to be your bosom friend,if only you can think less of yourself says humility. DAVID ATTA (A.K.A DAVIED ATTLARS & MR DAIN) Jerry could have taken a huge promotion at Greif, but instead he chose to stay in this community and... BILL MOORE I like to sing. I write music. Country songs. You have to if you're in Nashville. It's part ... JIM VARNEY It is not for me to say whether I have done well enough, personally I believe I have not done too ba... ROBBIE FOWLER MAGIC JOHNSON BANGAMBIKI HABYARIMANA MARIO CUOMO DALE CARNEGIE KATHLEEN HANNA
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ART BUCHWALD ART BUCHWALD ART BUCHWALD ART BUCHWALD ART BUCHWALD ART BUCHWALD ART BUCHWALD ART BUCHWALD ART BUCHWALD ART BUCHWALD ART BUCHWALD ART BUCHWALD ART BUCHWALD ART BUCHWALD ART BUCHWALD ART BUCHWALD ART BUCHWALD ART BUCHWALD ART BUCHWALD ART BUCHWALD ART BUCHWALD ART BUCHWALD ART BUCHWALD ART BUCHWALD ART BUCHWALD ART BUCHWALD ART BUCHWALD ART BUCHWALD ART BUCHWALD ART BUCHWALD ART BUCHWALD ART BUCHWALD ART BUCHWALD ART BUCHWALD ART BUCHWALD ART BUCHWALD ART BUCHWALD ART BUCHWALD ART BUCHWALD ART BUCHWALD ART BUCHWALD ART BUCHWALD ART BUCHWALD ART BUCHWALD ART BUCHWALD ART BUCHWALD EMILIE BUCHWALD It's turning out to be a difficult match like we anticipated. GUIDO BUCHWALD We have global ambitions, but to get there we had to advance first to Asia. GUIDO BUCHWALD Both teams had chances in the first half and it could have gone either way. It was very typical of a... GUIDO BUCHWALD As a coach, I'm extremely happy to be able to sign a player who I wanted. Our goal this season is to... GUIDO BUCHWALD He controls the ball extremely well, he's good at pressing forward and he's an invaluable team playe... GUIDO BUCHWALD It's been 25 years since we last won this cup and we want to make sure we win it properly. We didn't... GUIDO BUCHWALD We had five or six good chances to score. GUIDO BUCHWALD Our attacking was good, as was our technique and passing, particularly in the first 30 minutes. Ther... GUIDO BUCHWALD Another reason I wanted to stay here was to build a good team for next year. I have my eye on bringi... GUIDO BUCHWALD We have now qualified for the 2007 Asian Champions League and I am very proud of that. We will all b... GUIDO BUCHWALD We've had something like five games in 15 days and around 65 to 70 minutes the players started to ge... GUIDO BUCHWALD There are certain things that I know I don't want to do anymore. Playing out-and-out terrorists ... ART MALIK I questioned the blind faith demanded by my religion, which was Islam. ART MALIK ART LINKLETTER ART FETTIG ART GARFUNKEL The longer you stay in one place, the greater your chances of disillusionment. ART SPANDER Every egg represents 32 hours of jail for a chicken
kept in a 3 ft by 1 ft cage, debeaked. ART MARGOLIS ART LINKLETTER ART LINKLETTER ART GARFUNKEL I don't eat vegetables. I only eat food like cheeseburgers, Spam, hot dogs and pizza. ART DONOVAN People tell me if I don't eat vegetables, I'm going to get scurvy. Well, what the hell. But ... ART DONOVAN I love listening to music on holiday, and back in the old days, I used to travel with cassette tapes... ART MALIK ART GARFUNKEL And they're all looking for that type of guy. ART VALERO That's just Mike. I'd buy some of those arms if I could. Mike is ready to go. He trains himself very... ART VALERO For him to touch the ball 20 times a game is not enough. Put the ball in No. 24's hands and let him ... ART VALERO That's as big a reason to report on time as anything. It gives you time to learn from the veterans, ... ART VALERO Most people just drink beer with Mexican food. She's starting to promote wines which go so well with... ART TORRES It's impossible to think that he couldn't find one Latino to put in his Cabinet, ART TORRES I don't think that he's a racist. I don't think he's anti-Latino, ... I just think some of his comme... ART TORRES I don't see any others forthcoming, ... But Arnold has two very formidable opponents. ART TORRES We just didn't get started. They got in a rut and never got out. We got down on ourselves. ART THOMASON She continues to attack the basket. She also can back it and make the 3-pointer. She destroys defens... ART THOMASON It's hard for teams to match up with her. She's only 5-foot-9, but her reach is much longer than tha... ART THOMASON At this point in the season, there aren't many sleeping giants left. It doesn't matter who you are p... ART THOMASON The Japanese are starting to get worried about the Korean brands for the same reasons the domestics ... ART SPINELLA She got out of tech stocks a year ago and bought a new Beetle. She paid cash for it, and now she's l... ART SPINELLA We believe this kind of data is important in a consumer's selection of transportation. Basing purcha... ART SPINELLA It would have to be an entry-level model, like the Hyundai Excel. It would take low price and some s... ART SPINELLA Floor traffic has dried up. And that’s not just for the Big Three, ... ART SPINELLA Somebody was going to do it. Mitsubishi is in dire straits. This is as good an idea as any. ART SPINELLA Do I want to see a subdivision or a gun club? Honestly - I would want a gun club. ART SPINELLA She got out of tech stocks a year ago and bought a new Beetle, ... She paid cash for it, and now she... ART SPINELLA The difference between what Detroit goes through and what Toyota goes through is that for every sing... ART SPINELLA Flood vehicles can be sold for their parts. There isn't a single vehicle that came out of Katrina th... ART SPINELLA ART SPIEGELMAN ART SPIEGELMAN ART SPIEGELMAN ART SPIEGELMAN ART SPIEGELMAN ART SPIEGELMAN There comes a time when you have to shut it off, let it go, and say it's not going to happen. ART SHELL Should we have won more championships, more Super Bowls? Yes, we should have. But I don't think you ... ART SHELL It's coming home to finish what I started. I left coaching, but I've never left the game of football... ART SHELL I just want to get back to the point where ... when we walk into the Coliseum, the Raiders are here.... ART SHELL All I can say is Kerry Collins is an outstanding quarterback. As a matter of fact I spoke with Kerry... ART SHELL When you walk out there, when you into that stadium, you walk out there with a presence. Mr. Davis c... ART SHELL We may have hit bottom in Asia but it may not get better anytime soon. ART RUSSELL The Nasdaq has largely been immune to the pullback in the Dow recently. Some of this response is ove... ART RUSSELL The PC stocks should do well in the second half of this year. ART RUSSELL The challenge is to integrate Digital and have an effective enterprise solution strategy going forwa... ART RUSSELL I get the sense that [Microsoft] would like to settle the case on the right terms. The contract lang... ART RUSSELL No surprise on the pre-announcement here. We know the PC industry has been weak. ART RUSSELL From a purely technical standpoint, we could see the Nasdaq falling to 2,500 levels in the near term... ART RUSSELL The software license revenue is widely viewed as a healthy barometer of their business. I think most... ART RUSSELL The biggest thrill wasn't in winning on Sunday but in meeting the payroll on Monday. ART ROONEY Sportswriters. They were all my friends. They were racetrack guys and so was I. ART ROONEY I think numbers-wise we were satisfied. We went into it wanting to keep as many of those guys as we ... ART ROONEY The demand for club seats has proven to be very strong since moving to Heinz Field. ART ROONEY Once I had a steel job for half of a day. I never went back to collect my pay. ART ROONEY Nobody feels any worse than I do about losing. ART ROONEY It was time for him to prove he was not in the pocket of the Chamber of Commerce and the big corpora... ART PULASKI He's rethinking some of his takeaways. We're relieved that he is. ART PULASKI We're all for flexibility. But the far more frequent experience is employers who are trying to cut c... ART PULASKI We don't want more short-term, politically expedient solutions. We must increase and index the minim... ART PULASKI Wealthy companies set new records in political contributions to buy this veto. Schwarzenegger bends ... ART PULASKI If you start becoming withdrawn and looking over your shoulder, being careful about what you say, th... ART MODELL I want to be remembered as a guy who tried his best and did his best. ART MODELL I never lied to a person in my life; my kids didn't, either. ART MODELL I have enjoyed the years enormously in Cleveland and especially in Baltimore. ART MODELL I have a great legacy, tarnished somewhat by the move. ART MODELL I had to do what I had to do to keep my family alive. Period. ART MODELL I don't want my grandchildren to go through what I went through. ART MODELL I do want to go out on top, as a winner. ART MODELL The pride and presence of a professional football team is far more important than 30 libraries. ART MODELL He was an extraordinary man of impeccable character, integrity, honesty, compassion and fairness. He... ART MODELL Las Vegas is the perfect host city to bring new energy to the Miss America Pageant. It should make f... ART MCMASTER We had hundreds of volunteers, and the thing worked like clockwork. ART MCMASTER the pageant's continued vitality and growth. ART MCMASTER Atlanta is a nice city, ... I'm sure they would have the facilities. ART MCMASTER ART LINKLETTER ART LINKLETTER ART LINKLETTER ART LINKLETTER ART LINKLETTER ART LINKLETTER ART LINKLETTER ART LINKLETTER It appears to be highly subjective. This survey is giving more weight to words over action. ART LARSON We're going to examine this report and carry on a dialogue with this organization. But we feel that ... ART LARSON On some days, the plant has been operating at a full load. The steam you see is normal. ART LARSON Our target market for this project is Idaho and the Pacific Northwest. ART LARSON If and when we are, we intend to immediately seek dismissal of it as being improperly brought before... ART LARSON We invite the public to speak. That's democracy in action, ... But I will not have any more recommen... ART JOHNSON Kids just lose a lot over the holidays, ... To think students are going to study for exams and do pr... ART JOHNSON It's clear arts education work drives student achievement. We need to be in the business of doing th... ART JOHNSON The point is, the Legislature has not met its constitutional requirements. ART JOHNSON Hopefully we can have a true home-field advantage, have a good crowd and create as good a college ba... ART INABINET It is good competition and all six teams are good quality baseball teams. We always have wanted to d... ART INABINET We needed to figure out who needed to be playing, and when we figured that out, those guys have gott... ART INABINET One of our goals is to make to the Peach Belt Tournament. This format will help us get ready because... ART INABINET [Hogan also likes Intel for a position in the semiconductor industry.] Intel we like because semicon... ART HOGAN Compaq is weighing down the Nasdaq, but we're getting a rotation into Dow stocks, ... It (the electi... ART HOGAN I would take oil as a front-burner issue, ... Yesterday [Tuesday] was the capitulation day for the t... ART HOGAN I think 50 basis points (one-half percentage point) is a credible consensus estimate for what the Fe... ART HOGAN I think that we just ran out of steam after a couple of hours. I am glad that we held on our gains f... ART HOGAN But if I had to venture a guess I think we'll start trending higher up until the Fed meeting on Tues... ART HOGAN I think this market can hold on to this rally and start trending higher. ART HOGAN I'm thinking the Fed will leave the rates unchanged, ... We've ramped up pretty higher into this mee... ART HOGAN Next week we really kick that (warnings) season off. There's going to be more Gateways out there, an... ART HOGAN It sends a signal that the U.S. economy has weathered some pretty harsh storms over the past few yea... ART HOGAN With those who don't give a damn about baseball, I can only sympathize. I do not resent them. I am e... ART HILL ART GARFUNKEL ART GARFUNKEL ART GARFUNKEL ART GARFUNKEL ART GARFUNKEL ART GARFUNKEL ART GARFUNKEL ART GARFUNKEL ART GARFUNKEL ART GARFUNKEL Right now if a Toyota (plant) came together, there'd be 16 people fighting for them. Competition can... ART COLLINS Looking ahead, Medtronic is exceptionally well-positioned to maintain its growth momentum, ... Signi... ART COLLINS We believe that we are picking up the majority of whatever business Guidant couldn't fulfill because... ART COLLINS The new product pipeline has never been stronger as we plan to introduce significant new therapies t... ART COLLINS It was good to get out here and see the players bounce around a little bit. We got out of it healthy... ART BRILES We appreciate their loyalty and thank them for what they've done at the University of Houston. ART BRILES The quarterback part, to me, is secondary to him as a person. His background, being from West Texas,... ART BRILES Everything was clicking on both sides of the ball. ...and I think we rode the wave of momentum for a... ART BRILES He has come out of some great programs and he's been on some great defenses. He was at Alabama four ... ART BRILES Edwards wanted to follow Wadia and has been on the fast track for quite a while. ART BOWMAN Salvatore's extremely capable. I'm surprised he didn't get the job permanently. ART BOWMAN We are reaching a low point in the history of the profession. And as we eventually emerge from this ... ART BOWMAN Any of the four would be willing to do [a merger] if they were shielded from liability. ART BOWMAN The scenarios are basically the same. Andersen as we know it is dead whether there is an acquittal o... ART BOWMAN What ever truth drops on it eventually grinds to a powder. ART BLAKEY Music washes away the dust of every day life. ART BLAKEY Jazz is known all over the world as an American musical art form and that's it. No America, no jazz.... ART BLAKEY A name doesn't make the music. It's just called that to differentiate it from other types of music. ART BLAKEY You can't seperate modern jazz from rock or from rhythm and blues - you can't seperate it. Because t... ART BLAKEY
Just when you think there's nothing to write about, Nixon says, "I am not a crook." Jimmy Carter say... 
Loved heart, what can I say?
Are these things really better than the things I already have? Or am I just trained to be dissatisfi... 
People have got to know whether or not their president is a crook. Well, I am not a crook. 
Notice the difference between what happens when a man says to himself, I have failed three times, an... 
Notice the difference between what happens when a man says to himself, I have failed three times, a... 
I never laugh or smile when I am writing. When I come home for lunch after writing all morning, my w... 
My mom says I'm a fighter, a fierce competitor, and I think I am, too. 
[(96 K/5 sec. AIFF or WAV sound)] I'm interested in the evidence, not in what the president wants us... 
I come from a family with a really strong work ethic - not just my parents, but my aunts, uncles and... 
Says O'Sullivan to me, "Mr. Fay, I'll have a word wid yeh?" "Certainly," says I; "what can I do for ... 
I'm bored," he says.
Everyone here says in a surprised manner that I have grown... they are so stupid and do not notice t... 
I am not a crook. 
Who says I am not under the special protection of God? 
I am not predicting here that Obama will fail like Jimmy Carter. What I am predicting is the Republi... 
The argument goes something like this: ‘I refuse to prove that I exist,’ says God, ‘for proof ... 
Who am I?? No, No you don't ask the questions I ask them my question is how much stupid are you??...... 
My heart says, ‘This way.’ The world says, ‘That way.’ God says, ‘I am the Way.’ And if ... 
As President Nixon says, presidents can do almost anything, and President Nixon has done many things... 
I am always happy, because whenever I am sad I just know that somewhere, somehow, there is a person ... 
Death tugs at my ear and says: "Live, I am coming"; 
The French woman says, 'I am a woman and a Parisienne, and nothing foreign to me appears altogether ... 
I was minding my own business when something says to me, "you ought to blow trumpet." I have just be... 
It's intimidating to play the nominee for president. The little kid inside you says, 'I'm not enough... 
I am a politician which means I am a liar and a crook. When I am not kissing babies I am stealing th... 
'You are no saint,' says the devil. Well, if I am not, I am a sinner, and Jesus Christ came ... 
Death twitches my ear. Live, he says, I am coming. 
And the National Rifle Association says that, "Guns don't kill people, people do, but I think the ... 
And the National Rifle Association says that, "Guns don't kill people, people do,” but I think the... 
My doctor says that I have a malformed public-duty gland and a natural deficiency in moral fibre and... 
In my office I have a sign that says, 'Don't think. Just write!' and that's how I wo... 
I don't think about politics," Rabbit says. "That's one of my Goddam precious American rights... 
It says here, 'Williams, Wallace Reunite,' ... . . . It points out that I talked one-on-one with Geo... 
The Church says: the body is a sin.
My movies just kind of sneak up on you. I don't have to worry too much about what everybody is g... 
I am not a crook. 
Without Jimmy Carter we might not have gotten Ronald Reagan, without Ronald Reagan there would proba... 
I have just received the following wire from my generous Daddy. It says, Dear Jack: Don't buy a sing... 
Infantile love follows the principle: "I love because I am loved." Mature love follows the principle... 
I'm not trying to fix you; I don't think you need to be fixed. I'm not trying to turn you into someo... 
I just want a quiet life. I think that's what everybody says when they get older. 
My doctor says that I have a malformed public duty gland and a natural deficiency in moral fibre,' h... 
"I have done that," says my memory. "I cannot have done that" -- says my pride, and remains adamant.... 
I have a simple life. I mean, you just give me a drum roll, they announce my name, and I come out an... 
I have a simple life. I mean, you just give me a drum roll, they announce my name, and I come out an... 
Bono met his wife in high school," Park says.
When Steven Spielberg comes to you and says, 'Hey do you want to write a movie about robots?'... 
I think you just have to keep knocking down doors, and you have to keep being aggressive, and even i... 
I used to be afraid about what people might say or think after reading what I had written. I am not ... 
I am a trial lawyer. Matilda says that at dinner on a good day I sound like an affidavit. 
Actions speak louder than words, and a smile says, ‘I like you. You make me happy. I am glad to se... 
Not to rag on myself, but when people say, 'What does it feel like to be an icon?' I'm l... 
A bad liver is to a Frenchman what a nervous breakdown is to an American. Everyone has had one and e... 
You can't make up anything anymore. The world itself is a satire. All you're doing is recording it. 
Children are made readers on the laps of their parents. 
The four stages of life are infancy, childhood, adolescence, and obsolescence. 
When I am delivering my very best, then that is when I feel successful. 
I have the feeling that in a balanced life one should die penniless. The trick is dismantling. 
I stand fearlessly for small dogs, the American Flag, motherhood and the Bible. That's why peopl... 
We human beings are tuned such that we crave great melody and great lyrics. And if somebody writes a... 
With any work worth its salt, you have to trust the author enough to take its measure. And if you ap... 
Well, I am not 100 percent sure of the definition of polemic, but it wasn't meant to convince anybod... 
In the Top 40, half the songs are secret messages to the teen world to drop out, turn on, and groove... 
Rodgers and Hammerstein didn't mean anything to me. I just wanted to have a hit, I just wanted to be...