Laziness is the first step towards efficiency.

Me, I couldn’t give two halves of a quarter fuck when I was alive. I tried, I swear. It just wasn’t going to happen. In fact, the only thing I truly cared about was ensuring that I could comfortably not care without repercussion, and I was damn good at it.

I've heard that hard work never killed anyone, but I say why take the chance?

The way I see it: Why get out of bed when you can read about people who got out of bed?

Whenever I feel the need to exercise, I lie down until it goes away.

My heart leaps as I remember this morning's note. This boy is my weirdo.
My weirdo is hot.