Litigation solves everything.

I can't imagine Jon Cryer performing with the New York Philharmonic isn't one of the signs of apocalypse.

I try to save being angry for the really important moments - for special occasions.

Sarcasm is lost in print.

If you can find it in you to love how stupid the entertainment industry is, you can have a great career.

To avoid ignorance and bullying, I've had to hide the fact that I'm a troll. You have no idea how much time and money I've spent on electrolysis and hair dye and reconstructive surgery so I can look like this.