Living with a dog is messy - like living with an idealist

Dachshund: A half-a-dog high and a dog-and-a-half long

An idealist is one who helps the other fellow to make a profit

War will never cease until babies begin to come into the world with larger cerebrums and smaller adrenal glands

Wealth - any income that is at least one hundred dollars more a year than the income of one's wife's sister's husband.

The American people, taken one with another, constitute the most timorous, sniveling, poltroonish, ignominious mob of serfs and goose-steppers ever gathered under one flag in Christendom since the end of the middle ages