It's hard to find a play that's right for me to do. Rather than waiting around for the right...
DAN CASTELLANETA The nice thing is that, at least in Los Angeles, I'm known as a character actor and I do auditio...
DAN CASTELLANETA Don't eat me. I have a wife and kids. Eat them.
DAN CASTELLANETA It is better to watch things then to do them.
DAN CASTELLANETA One of my favorite episodes was the one in which Homer grew hair. That was a very unique episode, si...
DAN CASTELLANETA The voice doesn't take a lot of effort now, but in the beginning it was hard to try to find a vo...
DAN CASTELLANETA I often say, if I wasn't part of the show I'd be a huge fan of it.
DAN CASTELLANETA The Simpsons can go anywhere in the world and not worry about any budgetary issues. However, even wh...
DAN CASTELLANETA I think the tone of the show has certainly changed over the years, because it's really, really h...
DAN CASTELLANETA The Simpsons take up so little time that I'm able to do other things as well.
DAN CASTELLANETA I've made a kind of pact with myself where I said, It doesn't matter what it is as long as I...
DAN CASTELLANETA It's the cushiest job, but some lines are so funny that I crack up.
DAN CASTELLANETA It's the weirdest thing. When you go into acting, you expect to be a huge star and to be recogni...
DAN CASTELLANETA The humor is essentially dark for a cartoon and sophisticated. But at the same time, being a cartoon...
DAN CASTELLANETA I always enjoyed writing. I did playlets in high school, I did radio shows in college. That's on...
DAN CASTELLANETA If I were actually Homer Simpson, I'd be getting scripts out the wazoo.
DAN CASTELLANETA I think that most people don't even know that I do other things. They think that Homer is all th...
DAN CASTELLANETA After years of doing it, you learn the difference between your ego and your opinion. When you're...
DAN CASTELLANETA Sometimes the only way you can feel good about yourself is by making someone else look bad. And I...
DAN CASTELLANETA To many, Homer may appear lazy and a loser, but he's just much misguided. He's boorish, sure...
DAN CASTELLANETA Getting out of jury duty is easy. The trick is to say you're prejudiced against all races.
DAN CASTELLANETA Go ahead and play the blues if it'll make you happy.
DAN CASTELLANETA In this house, we obey the laws of thermodynamics!
DAN CASTELLANETA After a day spent staring at a computer monitor, think of (a) book as a kind of screen saver for you...
DAN CASTELLANETA There are times when the writers ask us to improvise. Sometimes the animators are inspired by what y...
DAN CASTELLANETA It's a different way of getting across an emotion. You're trying to get it across to the ani...
DAN CASTELLANETA Beer. Now there's a temporary solution.
DAN CASTELLANETA Oh, so they have internet on computers now!
DAN CASTELLANETA Press the any key ... hmmm where's the any key?
DAN CASTELLANETA You can't keep blaming yourself. Just blame yourself once, and move on.
DAN CASTELLANETA I never realized how boring this game was
DAN CASTELLANETA Your mother has this crazy idea that gambling is wrong. Even though they say it's okay in the bible.
DAN CASTELLANETA No! No no no no no no! Well, yes.
DAN CASTELLANETA I think Mr. Smithers picked me for my motivational skills. Everyone always says they have to work tw...
DAN CASTELLANETA Operator! Give me the number for 911
DAN CASTELLANETA Marge, I agree with you -- in theory. In theory, communism works. In theory.
DAN CASTELLANETA Alcohol is the cause and the solution to many of life's problems.
DAN CASTELLANETA The answers to life's problems aren't at the bottom of a bottle, they're on TV!
DAN CASTELLANETA Ah, beer, my one weakness. My achilles heel, if you will.
DAN CASTELLANETA Remember as far as anyone knows, we're a nice normal family
DAN CASTELLANETA Sometimes the only way you can feel good about yourself is by making someone else look bad. And I'm ...
DAN CASTELLANETA Bart! With $10,000, we'd be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things like love
DAN CASTELLANETA All right, brain, I don't like you and you don't like me - so let's just do this and I'll get back t...
DAN CASTELLANETA If something is to hard to do, then it's not worth doing.
DAN CASTELLANETA Facts are meaningless. You could use facts to prove anything that's even remotely true.
DAN CASTELLANETA The strong must protect the Sweet.
DAN CASTELLANETA I bet Einstein turned himself all sorts of colors before he invented the light bulb.
DAN CASTELLANETA America's health care system is second only to Japan... Canada, Sweden, Great Britain, ... well all ...
DAN CASTELLANETA Your lives are in the hands of men no smarter than you or I, many of them incompetent boobs. I know ...
DAN CASTELLANETA If the Bible has taught us nothing else, and it hasn't, it's that girls should stick to girls sports...
DAN CASTELLANETA Let us all bask in television's warm glowing warming glow.
DAN CASTELLANETA Marge, it's 3 AM. Shouldn't you be cooking or something?
DAN CASTELLANETA Life is just one crushing defeat after another until you just wish Flanders was dead.
DAN CASTELLANETA You think I don't want to? It's those TV networks, Marge: they won't let me. One quality show after ...
DAN CASTELLANETA Dear Lord, thank You for this microwave bounty, even though we don't deserve it. I mean... our kids ...
DAN CASTELLANETA Marge, old people don't need companionship, they need to be isolated and studied to see what useful ...
DAN CASTELLANETA Marge, there's an empty spot I've always had inside me. I tried to fill it with family, religion, co...
DAN CASTELLANETA Ah, sweet pity. Where would my love life have been without it?
DAN CASTELLANETA Good drink... good meat... good God, let's eat!
DAN CASTELLANETA I have feelings too - like 'My stomach hurts' or 'I'm going crazy!'
DAN CASTELLANETA All right, let's not panic. I'll make the money by selling one of my livers. I can get by with one.
DAN CASTELLANETA God has no place within these walls, just as facts have no place within organized religion
DAN CASTELLANETA Excuse me Doctor, I think I now a little something about medicine
DAN CASTELLANETA I want to share something with you: The three little sentences that will get you through life. Numbe...
DAN CASTELLANETA I know what you're saying, Bart. When I was young, I wanted an electric football machine more than a...
DAN CASTELLANETA I've always wondered if there was a god. And now I know there is - and it's me.
DAN CASTELLANETA It's not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I managed to fit in eight ...
DAN CASTELLANETA Oh no! What have I done? I smashed open my little boy's piggy bank, and for what? A few measly cents...
DAN CASTELLANETA English - Who needs that? I'm never going to England!
DAN CASTELLANETA Marge, you being a cop makes you the man! Which makes me the woman - and I have no interest in that,...
DAN CASTELLANETA When I look at the smiles on all the children's faces, I just know they're about to jab me with some...
DAN CASTELLANETA Well you know boys, a nuclear reactor is a lot like women. You just have to read the manual and pres...
DAN CASTELLANETA Don't you ever, EVER talk that way about television.
DAN CASTELLANETA Television! Teacher, mother, secret lover.
DAN CASTELLANETA And there's nothing wrong with hitting someone when his back is turned.
DAN CASTELLANETA OK, son. Just remember to have fun out there today, and if you lose, I'LL KILL YOU!
DAN CASTELLANETA Getting out of jury duty is easy. The trick is to say you're prejudiced against all races.
DAN CASTELLANETA Now Bart, since you broke Grandpa's teeth, he gets to break yours.
DAN CASTELLANETA Do you want the job done right, or do you want it done fast?
DAN CASTELLANETA No matter how good you are at something, there's always about a million people better than you.
DAN CASTELLANETA Oh, people can come up with statistics to prove anything, Kent. 14% of people know that.
DAN CASTELLANETA Lisa, vampires are make-believe, like elves, gremlins, and eskimos
DAN CASTELLANETA If you really want something in this life you have to work for it. Now quiet, they're about to annou...
DAN CASTELLANETA I'm going to the backseat of my car with the woman I love, and I won't be back for TEN MINUTES.
DAN CASTELLANETA I'm never going to be disabled. I'm sick of being so healthy.
DAN CASTELLANETA What's the point of going out, we're just going to end up back here anyway?
DAN CASTELLANETA Marge, I'm going to miss you so much. And it's not just the sex. It's also the food preparation.
DAN CASTELLANETA The code of the schoolyard, Marge! The rules that teach a boy to be a man. Let's see. Don't tattle. ...
DAN CASTELLANETA Marge, it takes two to lie. One to lie and one to listen
DAN CASTELLANETA Marge, what's wrong? Are you hungry? Sleepy? Gassy? Gassy? Is it gas? It's gas, isn't it?
DAN CASTELLANETA This donut has purple in the middle, purple is a fruit.
DAN CASTELLANETA Kill my boss? Do I dare live out the American dream?
DAN CASTELLANETA I am so smart! I am so smart! S-M-R-T! I mean, S-M-A-R-T!
DAN CASTELLANETA Kids, kids. As far as Daddy's concerned, you're both potential murderers.
DAN CASTELLANETA What do we need a psychiatrist for? We know our kid is nuts.
DAN CASTELLANETA Now, son, you don't want to drink beer. That's for daddies and kids with fake IDs.
DAN CASTELLANETA Son, a woman is like a beer. They smell good, they look good, you'd step over your own mother just t...
DAN CASTELLANETA You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is 'never try'.
DAN CASTELLANETA I like my beer cold, my TV loud and my homosexuals flaming.
DAN CASTELLANETA Son, when you participate in sporting events, its not whether you win or loose, its how drunk you ge...
DAN CASTELLANETA I won't sleep in the same bed with a woman who thinks I'm lazy! I'm going right downstairs, unfold t...
DAN CASTELLANETA Don't mess with the dead, boy, they have eerie powers.
DAN CASTELLANETA All normal people love meat. If I went to a barbeque and there was no meat, I would say 'Yo Goober! ...
DAN CASTELLANETA Flanders: I think we hit something. Homer: I hope it's Flanders
DAN CASTELLANETA Beer. Now there's a temporary solution.
DAN CASTELLANETA Ignore the boy, Lord.
DAN CASTELLANETA Kill myself? Killing myself is the last thing I'd ever do. Now I have a purpose, a reason to live. I...
DAN CASTELLANETA Well, I'm tired of being a wannabe league bowler. I wanna be a league bowler!
DAN CASTELLANETA Lets just plop them in front of the TV. I was raised in front of the TV and I turned out TV
DAN CASTELLANETA I won't lie to you, fatherhood isn't easy like motherhood
DAN CASTELLANETA That's it! You people have stood in my way long enough. I'm going to clown college!
DAN CASTELLANETA I'm having the best day of my life, and I owe it all to not going to Church!
DAN CASTELLANETA Quiet you kids. If I hear one more word, Bart doesn't get to watch cartoons, and Lisa doesn't get to...
DAN CASTELLANETA Always blame it on the guy who doesn't speak English
DAN CASTELLANETA Where is Bart, anyway? His dinner is getting all cold and eaten
DAN CASTELLANETA If they think I'm going to stop at that stop sign, they're sadly mistaken!
DAN CASTELLANETA Homer no function beer well without.
DAN CASTELLANETA Alright Brain...Its all up to you.
DAN CASTELLANETA Me lose brain? Uh, oh! Ha ha ha! Why I laugh?
DAN CASTELLANETA Go ahead and play the blues if it'll make you happy.
DAN CASTELLANETA I can't believe it! Reading and writing actually paid off!
DAN CASTELLANETA Kids, kids. I'm not going to die. That only happens to bad people.
DAN CASTELLANETA Don't eat me. I have a wife and kids. Eat them.
DAN CASTELLANETA I'm not a bad guy! I work hard, and I love my kids. So why should I spend half my Sunday hearing abo...
DAN CASTELLANETA Marriage is like a coffin and each kid is like another nail.
DAN CASTELLANETA Oh, everything's too damned expensive these days. This Bible cost 15 bucks! And talk about a preachy...
DAN CASTELLANETA If something goes wrong at the plant, blame the guy who can't speak English.
DAN CASTELLANETA I'm normally not a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me Superman
DAN CASTELLANETA God bless those pagans.
DAN CASTELLANETA A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls.
DAN QUAYLE My advice to young wrestlers is that your surroundings really make a difference. You want to put you...
DAN GABLE I'm getting married because I'm in love with a girl and want to spend my life with her. You ...
DAN MARINO I love California, I practically grew up in Phoenix.
DAN QUAYLE Those market researchers... are playing games with you and me and with this entire country. Their so...
DAN RATHER There is no doubt that the way journalism worked when I was growing up and getting started has chang...
DAN RATHER We have a firm commitment to NATO, we are a part of NATO. We have a firm commitment to Europe. We ar...
DAN QUAYLE We, as a wrestling community, better remember it is more than one individual that makes a winner.
DAN GABLE When we make progress and get better at something, it is inherently motivating. In order for people ...
DAN PINK I get bored. We seem to have been having a little bit more time off this winter than last winter. I&...
DAN WHELDON My childhood dream was to study mechanical engineering. After reading 'The Mysterious Island'...
DAN SHECHTMAN One word sums up probably the responsibility of any vice-president, and that one word is 'to be ...
DAN QUAYLE Bitcoin's got its issues. But it is not competing with perfection.
DAN KAMINSKY I can only tell you that eggs, country ham, biscuits, a pot of coffee, a morning paper, a table by t...
DAN JENKINS The key to any good sports story is identifying the defining moment. In football games or a boxing m...
DAN JENKINS Vijay Singh won a playoff in 2004 at Whistling Straits after a final-round 76, which was the highest...
DAN JENKINS Look at kids playing with blocks. I think it's in everyone's DNA to want to be a builder.
DAN PHILLIPS The greatly anticipated 2009 Masters was like going to a Broadway hit and finding out that the star,...
DAN JENKINS I would never recommend losing on a bye, so that one definitely stays with you.
DAN QUINN I think I've interviewed probably 1,500 people in my 24-year business career.
DAN GILBERT I cannot emphasize just how dangerous it is cycling in the city. Especially now. Even though it is a...
DAN HILL When I'm not running, I cycle about 30 miles a day. I use the biking as cross training. I'm ...
DAN HILL I think the last thing you want to do as a writer, as a storyteller, is to create indifference. I do...
DAN HILL When we bemoan the lost golden age of music, it's worth remembering that mainstream radio listen...
DAN HILL Sling your guitar to wherever you're going, and you'll be amazed by the connective power of ...
DAN HILL The tricky thing about songwriting is that, more often than not, what you consider to be your best w...
DAN HILL My dad was one of four children. His three siblings were female, and he loved and protected them.
DAN HILL One of the things I did to make myself feel better is that I kicked up my running even more. I knew ...
DAN HILL I did have one bad accident up north near Deerhurst. I was driving back in the winter on these snowy...
DAN HILL When I was 3 or 4, I seemed to be bursting with music. They played Ella Fitzgerald, Count Basie, Fra...
DAN HILL With my son, I tried not to be so judgmental and tried not to push him so hard. I didn't want hi...
DAN HILL I got the big BMW X5, and I didn't like it. It was just too big, and I didn't feel comfortab...
DAN HILL In Don Mills in the Sixties, nothing comes close to the humiliation of losing an argument. In our we...
DAN HILL Much as my Boomer friends will hate me for saying this, Kanye West is the New Dylan. Not only do Kan...
DAN HILL When you think of bike couriers, you think of hyper speed. They get paid by how fast they can drop s...
DAN HILL Some stresses are unavoidable - it's just part of life. One of the things I do to avoid stress i...
DAN HILL Songs sometimes are so connected to the sociology of the time.
DAN HILL Our house is a constant mayhem of music, noise, socializing and business. It vibrates life, as a hou...
DAN HILL If we don't invest now in so-called priority neighbourhoods with music classes, athletic facilit...
DAN HILL At 10, I heard Neil Diamond's 'Solitary Man' and it moved me so deeply I stood, frozen i...
DAN HILL To be sure, boxing has always been, at best, a shady and sometimes cutthroat business, buttressed by...
DAN HILL I missed my father so much when he died that writing about his life and mine was a way of bringing h...
DAN HILL I was wired to be intense. I don't think that's ever going to change.
DAN HILL I don't dictate the solos and I don't dictate the vocal harmonies.
DAN HICKS I don't think I'd want a revival. I'm not doing a tribute to myself.
DAN HICKS I guess my idea of a good audience is one that's quiet and listens, but also that's alive: t...
DAN HICKS There've been periods where I had to convince the audience or win them over.
DAN HICKS About 10 years ago, I took some vocal lessons. I'll bet that helped. I got a tape of exercises t...
DAN HICKS There's some pictures of me playing hollow bodies, but I never last long. I always come back to ...
DAN HICKS I was always looking to record, but how much I actually pursued it was another thing. The major labe...
DAN HICKS I haven't been drinking for years now. Something's got to give. I don't mind that I'...
DAN HICKS My stuff was more of a folk coffeehouse thing, with more acoustic guitar, just me doing a single, an...
DAN HICKS Right now, I'm thinking in terms of just having a good band, man. Having a good act for the stag...
DAN HICKS There's been a big buzz about the Charlatans in the last couple of years. I've heard the wor...
DAN HICKS And it really is a good feeling to get up there and make that sound. I'm not stuck in a time war...
DAN HICKS It's not about retro or modern, it's about this note or that note, which sounds better?
DAN HICKS When we started off it was all nervous energy and we probably played everything twice as fast as we ...
DAN HAWKINS We've had a number 1 album in the UK and that was a really big thing for me. So now all we'v...
DAN HAWKINS We've got a long career ahead of us and it's going to be great. Trust me.
DAN HAWKINS We're real people and we're a band that's been playing on the scene for a long time. We&...
DAN HAWKINS We still haven't played Madison Square Garden. That's a benchmark. Something will have gone ...
DAN HAWKINS There's a lot of people out there who have seen us once somewhere in a pub or heard our songs la...
DAN HAWKINS The bigger we get, I think the more it's changing things, which is great, but we didn't set ...
DAN HAWKINS My favorite is still the one that I started off with, which is a Les Paul Standard. I've played ...
DAN HAWKINS In a strange kind of way I know were really popular and probably the biggest band in the country at ...
DAN HAWKINS I knew from an early age exactly what I wanted to do. I wanted to be a musician and that was it. It ...
DAN HAWKINS I can't wait until we get to the stage where we don't have to explain anymore.
DAN HAWKINS I can't wait to start something up myself that is actually about giving unsigned bands the expos...
DAN HAWKINS As far as the live shows go, we're not leapfrogging all the smaller venues. We would have bypass...
DAN HAWKINS After school I moved to London to get involved in music. I took the whole thing very seriously.
DAN HAWKINS When I need to nail that riff to the cross, Marshall will always provide the hammer!
DAN HAWKINS