Love is the thing that enables a woman to sing while she mops up the floor after her husband has walked across it in his barn boots.

The Japanese have a word for it. It's Judo -- the art of conquering by yielding. The Western equivalent of judo is, 'Yes, dear.'

On this our anniversary, we may not have wealth, but we do have each other and that is worth more than all the money in the world.

Husbands are awkward things to deal with; even keeping them in hot water will not make them tender

In a novel, the hero can lay ten girls and marry a virgin for the finish. In a movie, that is not allowed. The villain can lay anybody he wants, have as much fun and as he wants cheating, stealing, getting rich, and whipping servants. But you have to shoot him in the end.

There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage.