MAGIC, n. An art of converting superstition into coin. There are other arts serving the same high purpose, but the discreet lexicographer does not name them.
Ambrose Bierce
Related There are four kinds of homicide: felonious, excusable, justifiable, and praiseworthy.” ~ Ambrose ... J.J. MCAVOY The difference between science and the arts is not that they are different sides of the same coin ev... MAE JEMISON No formal course in fiction-writing can equal a close and observant perusal of the stories of Edgar ... H. P. LOVECRAFT I say in speeches that a plausible mission of artists is to make people appreciate being alive at le... KURT VONNEGUT JR. I absolutely consider fashion a form of art. Of course, there is some fashion that is not art at all... IRIS APFEL Fork, n. An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth. AMBROSE BIERCE The arts equally have distinct departments, and unless photography has its own possibilities of expr... ALFRED STIEGLITZ Enchantment produces a Secondary World, into which both designer and spectator can enter, to the sat... J.R.R. TOLKIEN What it does is unite the arts groups. A lot of times there are different groups in Gilroy and they'... CAROL PETERS For each of those markets, there is a segment where people are taking those products and converting ... ANTHONY PATTERSON There is an art of which every man should be a master the art of reflection. If you are not a thinki... WILLIAM HART COLERIDGE Art is magic... But how is it magic? In its metaphysical development? Or does some final transformat... HANS HOFMANN Magic touches people in the way great art does. It lets them see the world with new eyes. DRUMMOND MONEY-COUTTS Faith and science, I have learned, are two sides of the same coin, separated by an expanse so small,... MARY E. PEARSON The world does not consist of 100 percent Christians and 100 percent non-Christians. There are peopl... C.S. LEWIS Kinship– not serving the other, but being one with the other. Jesus was not “a man for others”... GREGORY J. BOYLE Regaining your lost years is about converting your time into your goals and life’s purpose SUNDAY ADELAJA I was thrown out of different schools because I was practicing my arts - magic, juggling, and the hi... PHILIPPE PETIT What is the Other?" they ask. The Other is the one who taught me whatI should be like, but not ... PAULO COELHO Chris' name was the first name mentioned by everyone. That just speaks volumes for how he's respecte... DON WADDELL If Goddess religion is not to become mindless idiocy, we must win clear of tendency of magic to beco... STARHAWK Success and failure are two edges of the same blade, two sides of the same coin. To fear one is to f... MICHELLE SAGARA WEST This is a true fine arts show, not an arts and crafts show. In the scope of today's world, fine art ... JENNY TAYLOR The user does not have to sacrifice voice quality or quantity in exchange for converging their acces... LORENA MCCALISTER When you choose your own area of calling and purpose, and you are working and converting your life i... SUNDAY ADELAJA No piensas en mí como yo en ti. No me importa. Pero si también tienes frío, podrías acercarte y ... PATRICK ROTHFUSS Peace and justice are two sides of the same coin. DWIGHT DAVID EISENHOWER Peace and justice are two sides of the same coin. DWIGHT D EISENHOWER Peace and justice are two sides of the same coin. DWIGHT D. EISENHOWER PRAISE AND CRITICISM ARE TWO SIDES OF THE SAME COIN! DR.PRASAD RAJHANS Orion is above the horizon now, and near it Jupiter, brighter than it will ever be ... But i expect ... THOMAS HARRIS The American people would not want to know of any misquotes that Dan Quayle may or may not make. �... VICE PRESIDENT DAN QUAYLE You can flip a coin to change its face, but it remains the same coin. DASHANNE STOKES I think there's a lot of similarity between what people try to do with religion with what they w... BRIAN ENO It's two edges of the same coin; you see when you are obsessed with weight, getting fat is the other... JUDY REBICK When the enemy is relaxed, make them toil. When full, starve them. When settled, make them move. SUN TZU A fool's brain digests philosophy into folly, science into superstition, and art into pedantry. Henc... B.F. SKINNER A fool's brain digests philosophy into folly, science into superstition, and art into pedantry. Henc... GEORGE BERNARD SHAW Science and art, or by the same token, poetry and prose differ from one another like a journey and a... FRANZ GRILLPARZER There are two sides to every coin but they're not necessarily equal KEN O. ELDIB Mathematics is the art of giving the same name to different things. HENRI POINCARE Nations it may be have fashioned their Governments, but the Governments have paid them back in the s... JOSEPH CONRAD Comedy and tragedy are two sides of the same coin. A talent in one area might also lead to a predisp... JACK DEE That's what makes them so perfect -- they were two different sides of the same coin, FRANK DEFORD RECONCILIATION, n. A suspension of hostilities. An armed truce for the purpose of digging up the dea... AMBROSE BIERCE They end up competing with some of the other arts groups, certainly with funding, that's a big issue... DANE POLLEI Movies are visual, aural, they involve people, and life, and ideas and art, they are so elastic. The... WESLEY MORRIS Life and death are two sides of the same coin called destiny. MUHAMMED HAIDER A truth and its opposite are flip sides of the same coin. GAYLE FORMAN That's really sad," Beth said softly, "To have no one left. R.J. SCOTT But let me say this. I am a superstitious man, a ridiculous failing but I must confess it here. And ... MARIO PUZO Music is a healing force. That's what good art is. That's what art is. I shouldn't say 'good' becaus... SHAWN COLVIN We have folklore and superstition and magic. The first book I ever wrote was on magic incantations w... CHARLES ISBELL Si miramos el fuego es porque parpadea, porque resplandece. Lo que atrae nuestra mirada es la luz, p... PATRICK ROTHFUSS A fool's brain digests philosophy into folly, science into superstition, and art into pedantry. ... GEORGE BERNARD SHAW Slavery is an institution for converting men into monkeys. RALPH WALDO EMERSON Dai Vernon, the greatest sleight of hand figure in the history of the art, rarely performed. But he ... RICKY JAY Indubitably, Magic is one of the subtlest and most difficult of the sciences and arts. There is more... ALEISTER CROWLEY Everything in the world is actually connected. That means, even if we get separated, we'll never be ... SHINOBU OHTAKA And many of them have fallen for the 'high-tech superstition' without realizing its superstitious na... XU XIUYU The stage is not merely the meeting place of all the arts, but is also the return of art to life. OSCAR WILDE In the visual arts, particularly painting, I distrust all those abstractions, those artificial const... F. SIONIL JOSE Love does not consist of gazing at each other, but in looking together in the same direction ANTOINE DE SAINT Magic is the art of thinking, not strength or language. CHRISTOPHER PAOLINI There is a purpose in life’s struggles. Without them, we stay the same. OSCAR AULIQ-ICE Painting, n.: The art of protecting flat surfaces from the weather, and exposing them to the critic. AMBROSE BIERCE Kayla was once again steady. She is starting to get a lot more assists because teams are cutting her... MICKEY BLATNIK If you think that 500 people belong to this organization, and 100 to 150 of them to other arts group... JOANNE ZEZULA High-minded idiocy pitted against the power of coin. COLSON WHITEHEAD If it's not about God, Music, any art form, or martial arts, chances are I'm not going to care. Hope... DEDRICK D. L. PITTER Love does not consist of gazing at each other, but in looking outward together in the same direction... ANTOINE DE SAINT-EXUPéRY Art resides in the quality of doing, process is not magic. CHARLES EAMES The idea that other perspectives exist may not be obvious to those who are in an emotional state of ... NABIL N. JAMAL Trump does magic. Maybe it will be black magic sometime, but he's an amazing phenomenon. ROBERT J. SHILLER Before you dive in head first, make sure the water is not shallow. KATHERINE DIVOLIS Metal rusts, music lasts forever. PATRICK ROTHFUSS I think it's important that we eliminate regulations that are not serving a useful purpose. ALEXANDER ACOSTA Providence has nothing good or high in store for one who does not resolutely aim at something high o... THORNTON T. MUNGER Providence has nothing good or high in store for one who does not resolutely aim at something high o... THORNTON WILDER I had an extremely busy day, converting oxygen into carbon dioxide. ANONYMOUS The notion that the mind and body are actually different sides of the same coin goes all the way bac... JON KABAT-ZINN Without magic, there is no art. Without art, there is no idealism. Without idealism, there is no int... RAYMOND CHANDLER We may be from different sides of the coin but we still hold the same value COURTNEY .J. BROOKS (MT GAMBIER) Superstition is the irrational belief that an object or behavior has the power to influence an outco... GRETCHEN RUBIN The art of the critic in a nutshell: to coin slogans without betraying ideas. The slogans of an inad... WALTER BENJAMIN I went to really good New York City public schools that had arts programs. So in junior high, I got ... MERRITT WEVER The traditional superstition has put on the cloak of modern high technology, poisoning an increasing... XU XIUYU Magic is an art form where you lie and tell people you are lying. TELLER Magic is the stunning art of surprising your audience, so that nothing else surprises them. AMIT KALANTRI Silence is one of the great arts of conversation, as allowed by Cicero himself, who says, 'there is ... TOM BLAIR Silence is one of the great arts of conversation, as allowed by Cicero himself, who says, "there is ... TOM BLAIR Science and Spirituality are two sides of the same coin and we cannot separate one from the other. S... THOMAS VAZHAKUNNATHU Like every art form, there are jealousies and angers and competitiveness in magic. But there's c... RICKY JAY We should be serving the kids' needs, but there's an interesting dynamic here. There's far too many ... BOB BIGELOW Ideas? My head is full of them, one after the other, but they serve no purpose there. They must be p... CAMILO JOSE CELA Ideas? My head is full of them, one after the other, but they serve no purpose there. They must be p... CAMILO CELA I think if you were seeking a name for the college of arts and sciences ... you really couldn't imag... ROBERT FOX We are not an all-ages dance club. We are a skills-building youth music and arts program that also d... KATE BECKER Man is unique not because he does science, and his is unique not because he does art, but because sc... JACOB BRONOWSKI Man is unique not because he does science, and he is unique not because he does art, but because sci... JACOB BRONOWSKI
More Ambrose Bierce
Destiny: A tyrant's authority for crime and a fool's excuse for failure. AMBROSE BIERCE Belladonna, n.: In Italian a beautiful lady; in English a deadly poison. A striking example of the e... AMBROSE BIERCE Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries. AMBROSE BIERCE Death is not the end. There remains the litigation over the estate. AMBROSE BIERCE Immortality: A toy which people cry for, And on their knees apply for, Dispute, contend and lie for,... AMBROSE BIERCE Litigation: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage. AMBROSE BIERCE Suffrage, noun. Expression of opinion by means of a ballot. The right of suffrage (which is held to ... AMBROSE BIERCE Laziness. Unwarranted repose of manner in a person of low degree. AMBROSE BIERCE Sweater, n.: garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly. AMBROSE BIERCE Doubt is the father of invention. AMBROSE BIERCE Life - a spiritual pickle preserving the body from decay. AMBROSE BIERCE Men become civilized, not in proportion to their willingness to believe, but in proportion to their ... AMBROSE BIERCE Cabbage: a familiar kitchen-garden vegetable about as large and wise as a man's head. AMBROSE BIERCE Photograph: a picture painted by the sun without instruction in art. AMBROSE BIERCE Cynic, n: a blackguard whose faulty vision sees things as they are, not as they ought to be. AMBROSE BIERCE Deliberation, n.: The act of examining one's bread to determine which side it is buttered on. AMBROSE BIERCE Clairvoyant, n.: A person, commonly a woman, who has the power of seeing that which is invisible to ... AMBROSE BIERCE Liberty:one of imaginations most precious possessions. AMBROSE BIERCE Quoting: the act of repeating erroneously the words of another. AMBROSE BIERCE Day, n. A period of twenty-four hours, mostly misspent. AMBROSE BIERCE Success is the one unpardonable sin against our fellows. AMBROSE BIERCE Optimist: a proponent of the doctrine that black is white. AMBROSE BIERCE Litigant: a person about to give up his skin for the hope of retaining his bone. AMBROSE BIERCE Ocean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man - who has no gills. AMBROSE BIERCE Beauty, n: the power by which a woman charms a lover and terrifies a husband. AMBROSE BIERCE OCEAN, n. A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man -- who has no gills. AMBROSE BIERCE ZEAL, n. A certain nervous disorder afflicting the young and inexperienced. A passion that goeth b... AMBROSE BIERCE For every man there is something in the vocabulary that would stick to him like a second skin. His e... AMBROSE BIERCE Education, n.: That which discloses the wise and disguises from the foolish their lack of understand... AMBROSE BIERCE Love, n. A temporary insanity curable by marriage. AMBROSE BIERCE Quotation, n: The act of repeating erroneously the words of another. AMBROSE BIERCE Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret. AMBROSE BIERCE You don't have to be stupid to be a Christian, ... but it probably helps. AMBROSE BIERCE Ocean , n. A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man — who has no g... AMBROSE BIERCE Fidelity. A virtue peculiar to those who are about to be betrayed. AMBROSE BIERCE Incompatibility. In matrimony a similarity of tastes, particularly the taste for domination. AMBROSE BIERCE The world has suffered more from the ravages of ill-advised marriages than from virginity. AMBROSE BIERCE Marriage. The state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress and two slaves, m... AMBROSE BIERCE Bride. A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her. AMBROSE BIERCE What is a democrat? One who believes that the republicans have ruined the country. What is a republi... AMBROSE BIERCE Nominee. A modest gentleman shrinking from the distinction of private life and diligently seeking th... AMBROSE BIERCE Learning. The kind of ignorance distinguishing the studious. AMBROSE BIERCE Consult. To seek another's approval of a course already decided on. AMBROSE BIERCE Happiness is an agreeable sensation, arising from contemplating the misery of others. AMBROSE BIERCE Life. A spiritual pickle preserving the body from decay. AMBROSE BIERCE Acquaintance: a degree of friendship called slight when its object is poor or obscure, and intimate ... AMBROSE BIERCE An acquaintance is someone we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to. AMBROSE BIERCE A temporary insanity curable by marriage. AMBROSE BIERCE Beauty. The power by which a woman charms a lover and terrifies a husband. AMBROSE BIERCE Let me tell you what a writer is. A writer takes comprehensive views, holds large convictions, makes... AMBROSE BIERCE Corporation. An ingenious device for obtaining individual profit without individual responsibility. AMBROSE BIERCE Don't steal; thou it never thus compete successfully in business. Cheat. AMBROSE BIERCE Philanthropist. A rich (and usually bald) old gentleman who has trained himself to grin while his co... AMBROSE BIERCE Age. That period of life in which we compound for the vices that remain by reviling those we have no... AMBROSE BIERCE Success is the one unpardonable sin against one's fellows. AMBROSE BIERCE Education is that which discloses to the wise and disguises from the foolish their lack of understan... AMBROSE BIERCE Destiny. A tyrant's authority for crime and a fool's excuse for failure. AMBROSE BIERCE Edible. Good to eat and wholesome to digest, as a worm to a toad, a toad to a snake, a snake to a pi... AMBROSE BIERCE Knowledge is the small part of ignorance that we arrange and classify. AMBROSE BIERCE Erudition. Dust shaken out of a book into an empty skull. AMBROSE BIERCE Saint. A dead sinner revised and edited. AMBROSE BIERCE Insurrection. An unsuccessful revolution; disaffection's failure to substitute misrule for bad gover... AMBROSE BIERCE Revolution is an abrupt change in the form of misgovernment. AMBROSE BIERCE Impiety. Your irreverence toward my deity. AMBROSE BIERCE Deliberation. The act of examining one's bread to determine which side it is buttered on. AMBROSE BIERCE Take not God's name in vain; select a time when it will have effect. AMBROSE BIERCE A prejudice is a vagrant opinion without visible means of support. AMBROSE BIERCE Bigot, one who is obstinately and zealously attached to an opinion that you do not entertain. AMBROSE BIERCE Pray: To ask the laws of the universe to be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly un... AMBROSE BIERCE Eulogy. Praise of a person who has either the advantages of wealth and power, or the consideration t... AMBROSE BIERCE Admiration; is our polite recognition of another's resemblance to ourselves. AMBROSE BIERCE To bother about the best method of accomplishing an accidental result. AMBROSE BIERCE A route of many roads leading from nowhere to nothing. AMBROSE BIERCE All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusion is called a philosopher. AMBROSE BIERCE A lowly virtue whereby mediocrity achieves a glorious success. AMBROSE BIERCE Peace, in international affairs, is a period of cheating between two periods of fighting. AMBROSE BIERCE Patience, n. A minor form of dispair, disguised as a virtue. AMBROSE BIERCE Optimism. The doctrine or belief that everything is beautiful, including what is ugly. AMBROSE BIERCE An optimist is a proponent of the doctrine that black is white. AMBROSE BIERCE They say that hens do cackle loudest when there is nothing vital in the eggs they have laid. AMBROSE BIERCE Calamities are of two kinds: misfortune to ourselves, and good fortune to others. AMBROSE BIERCE Heaven lies about us in our infancy and the world begins lying about us pretty soon afterward. AMBROSE BIERCE As records of courts and justice are admissible, it can easily be proved that powerful and malevolen... AMBROSE BIERCE Before undergoing a surgical operation, arrange your temporal affairs. You may live. AMBROSE BIERCE Politeness -- The most acceptable hypocrisy. AMBROSE BIERCE A man is known by the company he organizes. AMBROSE BIERCE Logic, n. The art of thinking and reasoning in strict accordance with the limitations and incapaciti... AMBROSE BIERCE Enthusiasm. A distemper of youth, curable by small doses of repentance in connection with outward ap... AMBROSE BIERCE Egotist. A person of low taste, more interested in himself than me. AMBROSE BIERCE An egotist is a person interested in himself than in me! AMBROSE BIERCE Duty. That which sternly impels us in the direction of profit, along the line of desire. AMBROSE BIERCE Opiate. An unlocked door in the prison of Identity. It leads into the jail yard. AMBROSE BIERCE Insurance: An ingenious modern game of chance in which the player is permitted to enjoy the comforta... AMBROSE BIERCE Backbite. To speak of a man as you find him when he can't find you. AMBROSE BIERCE Alien. An American sovereign in his probationary state. AMBROSE BIERCE Miss: A title with which we brand unmarried women to indicate that they are in the market. Miss, Mis... AMBROSE BIERCE Witticism. A sharp and clever remark, usually quoted and seldom noted; what the Philistine is please... AMBROSE BIERCE Wit. The salt with which the American humorist spoils his intellectual cookery by leaving it out. AMBROSE BIERCE A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man, who has no gills. AMBROSE BIERCE Impartial. Unable to perceive any promise of personal advantage from espousing either side of a cont... AMBROSE BIERCE Dog. A kind of additional or subsidiary Deity designed to catch the overflow and surplus of the worl... AMBROSE BIERCE Physician -- One upon whom we set our hopes when ill and our dogs when well. AMBROSE BIERCE Divorce. A resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries. AMBROSE BIERCE Consul. In American politics, a person who having failed to secure an office from the people is give... AMBROSE BIERCE Forgetfulness. A gift of God bestowed upon debtors in compensation for their destitution of conscien... AMBROSE BIERCE A cynic is a blackguard whose faulty vision sees things as they are, and not as they ought to be. AMBROSE BIERCE Confidante. One entrusted by A with the secrets of B confided to herself by C. AMBROSE BIERCE The gambling known as business looks with austere disfavor upon the business known as gambling. AMBROSE BIERCE Future. That period of time in which our affairs prosper, our friends are true and our happiness is ... AMBROSE BIERCE A funeral is a pageant whereby we attest our respect for the dead by enriching the undertaker. AMBROSE BIERCE An accident is an inevitable occurrence due to the actions of immutable natural laws. AMBROSE BIERCE To apologize is to lay the foundation for a future offense. AMBROSE BIERCE An account, mostly false, of events, mostly unimportant, which are brought about by rulers, mostly k... AMBROSE BIERCE Historian. A broad -- gauge gossip. AMBROSE BIERCE Habit is a shackle for the free. AMBROSE BIERCE Laughter -- An interior convulsion, producing a distortion of the features and accompanied by inarti... AMBROSE BIERCE Litigant. A person about to give up his skin for the hope of retaining his bones. AMBROSE BIERCE Appeal. In law, to put the dice into the box for another throw. AMBROSE BIERCE Trial. A formal inquiry designed to prove and put upon record the blameless characters of judges, ad... AMBROSE BIERCE Experience is a revelation in the light of which we renounce our errors of youth for those of age. AMBROSE BIERCE Experience. The wisdom that enables us to recognize in an undesirable old acquaintance the folly tha... AMBROSE BIERCE The act of repeating erroneously the words of another. AMBROSE BIERCE PROPHECY, n. The art and practice of selling one's credibility for future delivery. AMBROSE BIERCE When in Rome, do as Rome does. AMBROSE BIERCE To be positive: to be mistaken at the top of one's voice. AMBROSE BIERCE Censor, n. An officer of certain governments, employed to supress the works of genius. Among the Rom... AMBROSE BIERCE Bore -- a person who talks when you wish him to listen. AMBROSE BIERCE Ambition. An overmastering desire to be vilified by enemies while living and made ridiculous by frie... AMBROSE BIERCE Irreligion. The principal one of the great faiths of the world. AMBROSE BIERCE Faith: Belief without evidence in what is told by one who speaks without knowledge, of things withou... AMBROSE BIERCE Architect. One who drafts a plan of your house, and plans a draft of your money. AMBROSE BIERCE Genealogy. An account of one's descent from an ancestor who did not particularly care to trace his o... AMBROSE BIERCE Absurdity. A statement or belief manifestly inconsistent with one's own opinion. AMBROSE BIERCE Abstainer. A weak man who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure. AMBROSE BIERCE Woman absent is woman dead. AMBROSE BIERCE The covers of this book are too far apart. AMBROSE BIERCE Abscond. To move in a mysterious way, commonly with the property of another. AMBROSE BIERCE Creditor. One of a tribe of savages dwelling beyond the Financial Straits and dreaded for their deso... AMBROSE BIERCE A coward is one who in a perilous emergency thinks with his legs. AMBROSE BIERCE Conservative. A statesman who is enamored of existing evils, as distinguished from a Liberal, who wi... AMBROSE BIERCE The Senate is a body of old men charged with high duties and misdemeanors. AMBROSE BIERCE Compromise. Such an adjustment of conflicting interests as gives each adversary the satisfaction of ... AMBROSE BIERCE Alliance. In international politics, the union of two thieves who have their hands so deeply inserte... AMBROSE BIERCE ALLIANCE, n. In international politics, the union of two thieves who have their hands so deeply in... AMBROSE BIERCE Acquaintance is a degree of friendship called slight when its object is poor and obscure, and intima... AMBROSE BIERCE ARSENIC, n. A kind of cosmetic greatly affected by the ladies, whom it greatly affects in turn."Eat ... AMBROSE BIERCE Compromise. Such an adjustment of conflicting interests as gives each adversary the satisfaction o... AMBROSE BIERCE Convent. A place of retirement for women who wish for leisure to meditate upon the sin of idleness. AMBROSE BIERCE Religion. A daughter of Hope and Fear, explaining to Ignorance the nature of the Unknowable. AMBROSE BIERCE International arbitration may be defined as the substitution of many burning questions for a smoulde... AMBROSE BIERCE DIPLOMACY, n. Lying in state, or the patriotic art of lying for one's country. AMBROSE BIERCE Calamities are of two kinds. Misfortune to ourselves, and good fortune to others. AMBROSE BIERCE Calamities are of two kinds: misfortune to ourselves, and good fortune to others. AMBROSE BIERCE A bride is a woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her. AMBROSE BIERCE Painting, n.: The art of protecting flat surfaces from the weather, and exposing them to the critic. AMBROSE BIERCE There are 4 kinds of Homicide: felonious, excusable, justifiable, and praiseworthy. AMBROSE BIERCE FIDELITY, n. A virtue peculiar to those who are about to be betrayed. AMBROSE BIERCE ZOOLOGY, n. The science and history of the animal kingdom, including its king, the House Fly ("Mus... AMBROSE BIERCE HIPPOGRIFF, n. An animal (now extinct) which was half horse and half griffin. The griffin was a com... AMBROSE BIERCE ZENITH, n. The point in the heavens directly overhead to a man standing or a growing cabbage. A m... AMBROSE BIERCE YANKEE, n. In Europe, an American. In the Northern States of our Union, a New Englander. In the So... AMBROSE BIERCE Hypocrisy: prejudice with a halo AMBROSE BIERCE Forgetfulness. A gift of God bestowed upon debtors in compensation for their destitution of conscie... AMBROSE BIERCE One who is in a perilous emergency thinks with his legs. AMBROSE BIERCE OBSESSED, p.p. Vexed by an evil spirit, like the Gadarene swine and other critics. Obsession was onc... AMBROSE BIERCE Optimism. The doctrine or belief that everything is beautiful, including what is ugly. AMBROSE BIERCE Women and foxes, being weak, are distinguished by superior tact. AMBROSE BIERCE Saint: A dead sinner revised and edited. AMBROSE BIERCE QUEEN, n. A woman by whom the realm is ruled when there is a king, and through whom it is ruled wh... AMBROSE BIERCE When you are ill make haste to forgive your enemies, for you may recover. AMBROSE BIERCE Electricity seems destined to play a most important part in the arts and industries. The question of... AMBROSE BIERCE Electricity is the power that causes all natural phenomena not known to be caused by something else. AMBROSE BIERCE ECCENTRICITY, n. A method of distinction so cheap that fools employ it to accentuate their incapaci... AMBROSE BIERCE LAND, n. A part of the earth's surface, considered as property. The theory that land is property s... AMBROSE BIERCE The gambling known as business looks with austere disfavor upon the business known as gambling. AMBROSE BIERCE Birth: The first and direst of all disasters. AMBROSE BIERCE Dawn: When men of reason go to bed. AMBROSE BIERCE Politics: A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. The conduct of public affai... AMBROSE BIERCE Amnesty, n. The state's magnanimity to those offenders whom it would be too expensive to punish. AMBROSE BIERCE Patriotism. Combustible rubbish ready to the torch of any one ambitious to illuminate his name. AMBROSE BIERCE Admiral. That part of a warship which does the talking while the figurehead does the thinking. AMBROSE BIERCE Famous, adj.: Conspicuously miserable. AMBROSE BIERCE Positive, adj.: Mistaken at the top of one's voice. AMBROSE BIERCE Mad, adj. Affected with a high degree of intellectual independence. AMBROSE BIERCE Edible, adj.: Good to eat, and wholesome to digest, as a worm to a toad, a toad to a snake, a snake ... AMBROSE BIERCE Jealous, adj. Unduly concerned about the preservation of that which can be lost only if not worth ke... AMBROSE BIERCE Dog - a kind of additional or subsidiary Deity designed to catch the overflow and surplus of the wor... AMBROSE BIERCE Acquaintance. A person whom we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to. AMBROSE BIERCE Perseverance - a lowly virtue whereby mediocrity achieves an inglorious success. AMBROSE BIERCE Logic: The art of thinking and reasoning in strict accordance with the limitations and incapacities ... AMBROSE BIERCE Prescription: A physician's guess at what will best prolong the situation with least harm to the... AMBROSE BIERCE Lawsuit: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage. AMBROSE BIERCE Compromise, n. Such an adjustment of conflicting interests as gives each adversary the satisfaction ... AMBROSE BIERCE The best thing to do with the best things in life is to give them up. AMBROSE BIERCE TELEPHONE n. An invention of the devil which abrogates some of the advantages of making a disagreeab... AMBROSE BIERCE Egotist , n. A person of low taste, more interested in himself than in me. AMBROSE BIERCE Positive , adj.: Mistaken at the top of one's voice. AMBROSE BIERCE Beauty, n: the power by which a woman charms a lover and terrifies a husband. AMBROSE BIERCE Sweater , n. Garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly. AMBROSE BIERCE Sabbath - a weekly festival having its origin in the fact that God made the world in six days and wa... AMBROSE BIERCE