Madam, there's no such thing as a tough child - if you parboil them first for seven hours, they always come out tender.

If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no point in being a damn fool about it.

If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no point in being a damn fool about it.

No one likes a fellow who is all rogue, but we'll forgive him almost anything if there is warmth of human sympathy underneath his rogueries. The immortal types of comedy are just such men.

No doubt exists that all women are crazy; it's only a question of degree.

The first thing any comedian does on getting an unscheduled laugh is to verify the state of his buttons.