The first thing any comedian does on getting an unscheduled laugh is to verify the state of his buttons.

I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison.

If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no point in being a damn fool about it.

If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no point in being a damn fool about it.

Madam, there's no such thing as a tough child - if you parboil them first for seven hours, they always come out tender.

How well I remember my first encounter with The Devil's Brew. I happened to stumble across a case of bourbon -- and went right on stumbling for several days thereafter.