Marketers are out there trying to figure out how to get your money out of your child.

In today's world, marketers reach inside the home and attempt to figure out not what's good for your daughter, because that is not their business, but what deep desires they can manipulate, stimulate and ostensibly satisfy in order to produce cold, hard cash.

It's quite a job, so to speak, when you can really be with your child for 21 out of 24 hours.

If you can give your child only one gift, let it be enthusiasm.

If you've never been hated by your child, you've never been a parent.

If you go to prison, your child support adds up.