Marriage is like a game of chess except the board is flowing water, the pieces are made of smoke and no move you make will have any effect on the outcome.

The Four Levels of Comedy: Make your friends laugh, Make strangers laugh, Get paid to make strangers laugh, and Make people talk like you because it's so much fun.

Football is a bit like chess: it's not just the piece being moved that matters; it's also the effect that move has on all the other pieces.

Life is like a chess game. One wrong move will change everything...

Taking in a baseball game on TV is also a big treat.

My parents didn't want to move to Florida, but they turned sixty and that's the law.