Marriage is like life in this-that it is a field of battle, and not a bed of roses.

A survey found that ten percent of those questioned thought Joan of Arc was Noah's wife...

We must respect the other fellow's religion,but only in the sense and to the extent that we respect his theory that his wife is beautiful and his children smart.

In a novel, the hero can lay ten girls and marry a virgin for the finish. In a movie, that is not allowed. The villain can lay anybody he wants, have as much fun and as he wants cheating, stealing, getting rich, and whipping servants. But you have to shoot him in the end.

There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage.

I never married. Nobody ever asked me.