I may be biting off more than I can chew, but with 'The Simpsons' and with 'Futurama,...
MATT GROENING With 'Futurama,' I wanted to do unrequited love, and David Cohen agreed, and although our or...
MATT GROENING Well, most grown-ups forget what it was like to be a kid. I vowed that I would never forget.
MATT GROENING Love is a perky elf dancing a merry little jig and then suddenly he turns on you with a miniature ma...
MATT GROENING Cartooning is for people who can't quite draw and can't quite write. You combine the two hal...
MATT GROENING You've got to embrace the future. You can whine about it, but you've got to embrace it.
MATT GROENING I don't have to be careful, I've got a gun.
MATT GROENING People go into cartooning because they're shy and they're angry. That's when you're ...
MATT GROENING I think there is a certain charm to the hand drawn image that I like. My problem with CGI is that it...
MATT GROENING Sometimes people try to read into my strip and find out what my state of mind is. And I can say if I...
MATT GROENING I went through a phase where people would introduce me at parties as a cartoonist, and everybody fel...
MATT GROENING I've conducted an experiment on my kids. Instead of denying them access to media, I've encou...
MATT GROENING The thing about a cartoon is, you can do whatever you want. The tightrope that we are walking on ...
MATT GROENING I thought I was going to make crazy cartoons for the rest of my life. I didn't think I'd eve...
MATT GROENING The best stories in our culture have some sort of subversiveness - Mark Twain, 'Catcher in the R...
MATT GROENING My father was a really sharp cartoonist and filmmaker. He used to tape-record the family surreptitio...
MATT GROENING If I have one technology tip of the day, it's this: No matter how good the video on YouTube is, ...
MATT GROENING Donuts. Is there anything they can't do?
MATT GROENING Here's to alcohol: the cause of, and answer to, all of life's problems.
MATT GROENING 'The Simpsons' from the very beginning was based on our memories of brash '60s sitcoms -...
MATT GROENING I had been drawing my weekly comic strip, 'Life in Hell,' for about five years when I got a ...
MATT GROENING Families are about love overcoming emotional torture.
MATT GROENING I know all those words, but that sentence makes no sense to me.
MATT GROENING Families are about love overcoming emotional torture.
MATT GROENING When the authorities warn you of the dangers of having sex, there is an important lesson to be learn...
MATT GROENING I don't have to be careful, I've got a gun
MATT GROENING 'The Simpsons' is about alienation and the ambivalence of living with a family who you love ...
MATT GROENING There's always room out there for the hand-drawn image. I personally like the imperfection of ha...
MATT GROENING I think 'Family Guy' and 'American Dad' have definitely staked out their own style a...
MATT GROENING On 'The Simpsons,' I will say that we definitely like to comment on what's going on in t...
MATT GROENING Because good writing in a TV cartoon is so rare, I think the animation on The Simpsons is often over...
MATT GROENING I loved literary science fiction. In fact, as a kid, when I was reading science fiction, I thought &...
MATT GROENING Oftentimes, what seems to be a street lunatic charging at me spouting gibberish turns out to be a de...
MATT GROENING With Charlie Brown, it was about loneliness and isolation. I always thought that the thing about Cha...
MATT GROENING I know for a fact, obviously, because my kids grew up watching the show, that there are some things ...
MATT GROENING As astute followers of 'Life in Hell' will notice, Akbar and Jeff wear the same striped T-sh...
MATT GROENING When authorities warn you of the sinfulness of sex, there is an important lesson to be learned. Do n...
MATT GROENING Back in high school, I wrote a novel about a character named Bart Simpson. I thought it was a very u...
MATT GROENING My standard comment is, 'If you don't want your kids to be like Bart Simpson, don't act ...
MATT GROENING I basically drew my own family. My father's name is Homer. My mother's name is Margaret. I h...
MATT GROENING I went to Bali, and I was in a small village, and somebody who was with me showed a woman a little f...
MATT GROENING The conundrum that I face on a daily basis is that I have two sons who have grown up watching 'T...
MATT GROENING Living creatively is really important to maintain throughout your life. And living creatively doesn&...
MATT GROENING I love the idea that we put in jokes the kids don't get. And that later, when they grow up and r...
MATT GROENING We have 'Doctor Who' references on 'Futurama,' but we have a lot of science fiction ...
MATT GROENING Warning signs that lover is bored:
1. Passionless kisses
2. Frequent sighing
3. Moved, l...
MATT GROENING If it doesn't have Siamese twins in a jar, it is not a fair.
MATT GROENING I'm not a bad guy! I work hard, and I love my kids. So why should I spend half my Sunday hearing abo...
MATT GROENING I'm better than dirt. Well, most kinds of dirt, not that fancy store-bought dirt... I can't compete ...
MATT GROENING I'm a level 5 vegan, I don't eat anything that casts a shadow.
MATT GROENING I'll keep it short and sweet -- Family. Religion. Friendship. These are the three demons you must sl...
MATT GROENING I want to share something with you: The three little sentences that will get you through life. Numbe...
MATT GROENING I thought I had an appetite for destruction, but all I wanted was a club sandwich.
MATT GROENING I hope this has taught you kids a lesson: kids never learn.
MATT GROENING I can't believe it! Reading and writing actually paid off!
MATT GROENING How is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pus...
MATT GROENING How could you?! Haven't you learned anything from that guy who gives those sermons at church? Captai...
MATT GROENING Good things don't end in 'eum,' they end in 'mania'...or 'teria'.
MATT GROENING Facts are meaningless. You could use facts to prove anything that's even remotely true!
MATT GROENING Donuts. Is there anything they can't do?
MATT GROENING Christmas is a time when people of all religions come together to worship Jesus Christ.
MATT GROENING Aren't we forgeting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa.
MATT GROENING All right, brain, you don't like me, and I don't like you, but let's just get me through this, and I...
MATT GROENING All normal people love meat. If I went to a barbeque and there was no meat, I would say 'Yo Goober! ...
MATT GROENING Ah, sweet pity. Where would my love life be without it?
MATT GROENING Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra and then suddenly it flips over, pinning you underneat...
MATT GROENING You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.
MATT GROENING You should listen to your heart, and not the voices in your head.
MATT GROENING You know, the one with all the well meaning rules that don't work out in real life, uh, Christianity...
MATT GROENING You know, the courts may not be working any more, but as long as everyone is videotaping everyone el...
MATT GROENING You don't like your job, you don't strike. You go in every day and do it really half-assed. That's t...
MATT GROENING When you participate in sporting events, it's not whether you win or lose; it's how drunk you get.
MATT GROENING When will I learn? The answer to life's problems aren't at the bottom of a bottle, they're on TV!
MATT GROENING What if we chose the wrong religion? Each week we just make God madder and madder.
MATT GROENING What good is money if it can't inspire terror in your fellow man?
MATT GROENING Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals ... except th...
MATT GROENING Vampires are make-believe, like elves, gremlins, and eskimos.
MATT GROENING To alcohol! The cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems.
MATT GROENING There's an empty spot I've always had inside me. I tried to fill it with family, religion, community...
MATT GROENING Television! Teacher, mother, secret lover.
MATT GROENING Romance is dead. It was acquired in a hostile takeover by Hallmark and Disney, homogenized, and sold...
MATT GROENING Oh, loneliness and cheeseburgers are a dangerous mix.
MATT GROENING It takes two to lie. One to lie and one to listen.
MATT GROENING If something is too hard to do, then it's not worth doing. You just stick that guitar in the closet ...
MATT GROENING Here's to alcohol: the cause of, and answer to, all of life's problems.
MATT GROENING 'Adult Swim' on the Cartoon Network is unbelievable. And 'South Park' continues to d...
MATT GROENING We've got a bunch of new writers now who tell me they grew up watching The Simpsons. It's bi...
MATT GROENING The thing that makes me happiest about Simpsons Illustrated are all the drawings that we get from re...
MATT GROENING It's a funny show. The characters are surprisingly likable, given how ugly they are. We've g...
MATT GROENING Our solution on 'The Simpsons' is to do jokes that people who have an education, or some fra...
MATT GROENING But Marge, what if we chose the wrong religion? Each week we just make God madder and madder.
MATT GROENING Welcome to Suckersville, man.
MATT GROENING Of course I’ve gone mad with power! Have you ever tried going mad without power? It’s boring and...
MATT GROENING Hell Is Other Robots.
MATT GROENING Underachiever---and proud of it, man!
MATT GROENING God often gives nuts to toothless people
MATT GROENING We've been running a little behind schedule. But only by about 15 years or so.
MATT GROENING I pledge impertinence to the flag waving, of the unindicted co-conspirators of America, and to the r...
MATT GROENING I don't know why I did it, I don't know why I enjoyed it, and I don't know why I'll do it again.
MATT GROENING To alcohol! The cause of... and solution to... all of life's problems
MATT GROENING Where do babies come from? Don't bother asking adults. They lie like pigs. However, diligent indepen...
MATT GROENING Love is like racing across the frozen tundra on a snowmobile which flips over, trapping you undernea...
MATT GROENING I don't know why I did it, I don't know why I enjoyed it, and I don't know why I will do it again.
MATT GROENING Ha ha! Look at this country! ? U R Gay!? Ha ha! (looking at Uruguay on the globe).
MATT GROENING I'm presently incarcerated. Convicted of a crime I didn't even commit. Hah! "Attempted murder"? Now ...
MATT GROENING It's just hard not to listen to TV: it's spent so much more time raising us than you have.
MATT GROENING Hee hee! Look at this country!'You are gay' [Looking at a globe map...country being Uruguay]
MATT GROENING When The Simpsons came around, there really was nothing else like it on TV. It's hard to imagine...
MATT GROENING 'The Simpsons' basically - and 'Futurama' - are really smart shows. They're kind...
MATT GROENING Nihilism in American comedy came along way before 'The Simpsons.' There was a fairly nihilis...
MATT GROENING I like all of the early relationship strips that were collected in 'Love Is Hell,' where I p...
MATT GROENING A lot of people believe that if everybody just did what they were told - obeyed - everything would b...
MATT GROENING I like the 'Simpsons' pinball machines. Those are pretty great.
MATT GROENING I gave away 'Life in Hell' when it was a little 'zine, and sold it at record stores for ...
MATT GROENING The writers led by Mike Scully are fantastic. And they're creating original stories that not onl...
MATT GROENING Charles Schultz is a really interesting case. He wrote that comic strip and drew it himself from beg...
MATT GROENING Sometimes people get mad at The Simpsons' subversive story telling, but there's another mess...
MATT GROENING I think when 'The Simpsons' first came on, there was an uproar. People got used to it. They ...
MATT GROENING The scary thing about the future... there will be tiny cameras everywhere, and they'll be flying...
MATT GROENING Stop thinking about fun and have it”

Homer Simpson
MATT GROENING Live life to the fullest, and focus on the positive.
MATT CAMERON If I could do it over, I'd want to come up to the big leagues like Mike Trout. He's exciting...
MATT KEMP I love L.A., but you can get into a lot of trouble out here.
MATT KEMP When I spend money on myself, it's almost always on shoes and clothes. I'm addicted to shoes...
MATT KEMP I never want to sit out. I want to play baseball games.
MATT KEMP I don't think some athletes understand how big it is to be an athlete, what they can do with jus...
MATT KEMP I get bored real easy. I'm so used to L.A. and the pace that when I go home now I start thinking...
MATT KEMP I'm always telling people baseball needs to be more prominent in the African American community....
MATT KEMP I've been a Lakers fan since growing up in Oklahoma. My hometown's finally got the Thunder, ...
MATT KEMP Sometimes I forget how much people look at you as their hero. I forget that.
MATT KEMP If you do a full-on workout and then eat McDonald's or Wendy's, you're defeating the pur...
MATT KEMP We definitely weren't poor growing up, but we weren't rich.
MATT KEMP Dirty martinis and music - that's the big motto in our family. We get the booze going, and the m...
MATT HARVEY I worry about that every single day: Am I being a good father?
MATT LAUER It's better to be a fake somebody than a real nobody.
MATT DAMON I've talked to some drummers who seem to have a very hard time staying in shape on the road, inc...
MATT CAMERON Ben was more improvisational, and relied less on methodology, and basically is a guitarist who switc...
MATT CAMERON I would never want to live in L.A., and I made that decision years ago, so I never chose that path f...
MATT CAMERON Whenever Elvin Jones comes to Seattle I try to go catch him.
MATT CAMERON A lot of times, when a band finds success with a certain style or sound, they have a really hard tim...
MATT CAMERON Creatively, I thought we were still viable and could do more records. But our working relationship j...
MATT CAMERON I guess by taking lessons early on, and really trying to play all the rudimentary stuff, and try to ...
MATT CAMERON When I first went on tour with PJ in '98, I was still in shock having gone through the Soundgard...
MATT CAMERON For me, I just try to make sure I eat enough and drink enough water and that's about it.
MATT CAMERON But I've always liked to be the kind of drummer and musician who likes to go outside of what'...
MATT CAMERON My recording career has luckily run the gamut of recording environments.
MATT CAMERON I love the way Pharell is laying down great drum tracks. He is a great drummer.
MATT CAMERON I'm always going to get more of a charge playing Chicago than I will Duluth or some place like t...
MATT CAMERON I still felt we had some really good music on that record, but it's a shame that we couldn't...
MATT CAMERON I try and stay limber, swim, run, ride motorcycles.
MATT CAMERON So, I just kind of played the way I played and then eventually we kind of figured out what worked be...
MATT CAMERON If PJ Harvey ever came to town I'd definitely go try to go see her.
MATT CAMERON Like I'm in San Diego today and this is my hometown so I've got a lot of my friends coming a...
MATT CAMERON In my last band, Soundgarden, I had a couple of different drummers sit in on some stuff and it was f...
MATT CAMERON I show up ready to play, so I normally try and fit the situation.
MATT CAMERON I think every band is a little cautious when the drummer starts to write tunes.
MATT CAMERON I always loose a little weight on the road, so I constantly have to be on top of my nutrition and hy...
MATT CAMERON I like doing comedy, I like doing drama. Naturally I like to do, I like doing dramas, I like conflic...
MATT DILLON The demands of the present must stand above the political habits of the past.
MATT BLUNT Over the next four years, we will be bold. We will be willing to experiment. We will not fear failur...
MATT BLUNT If you're opposed to the budget I submitted to the General Assembly, you're for a tax increa...
MATT BLUNT The decision to join or not join a service union, political party or other organization should be le...
MATT BLUNT Taxpayers deserve a government that harnesses technology to better serve the people.
MATT BLUNT In a government such as ours we have vigorous contests to determine who should lead. The recent elec...
MATT BLUNT In spite of advances in technology and changes in the economy, state government still operates on an...
MATT BLUNT The spirit and determination of the people to chart their own destiny is the greatest power for good...
MATT BLUNT We stand in the shadow of Jefferson who believed that a society founded upon the rule of law and lib...
MATT BLUNT Public education is an investment in our future.
MATT BLUNT If you're wearing suits and you want to create your own sense of style, get to the tailor.
MATT BOMER I like fishing as much when I don't catch anything as when I do.
MATT LAUER A highway sign used to welcome people to New Haven, birthplace of President George W. Bush. But it w...
MATT APUZZO I've always liked Southeast Asia a lot. It's a wonderful place, an easy place. People are gr...
MATT DILLON Red notification bubbles on any icon, including mail, drive me crazy.
MATT MULLENWEG Oh, I think Janie Bryant is a genius. I mean, I think she changed menswear almost single-handedly wi...
MATT BOMER That's the way this business works: if your movies do well at the box office, you will be offere...
MATT DAMON Right before 'The Bourne Identity' came out, I hadn't been offered a movie in a year.
MATT DAMON Bond is part of the system. He's an imperialist and a misogynist, and he laughs at killing peopl...
MATT DAMON I have voted to make tough decisions in budgetary times, I've served on two recessionary budgets...
MATT GONZALEZ I was always taught that the first rule of bunker play is to just get the ball out. When you have a ...
MATT KUCHAR It would be lovely to live in a culture where calmness was the aim.
MATT HAIG I think we get too hung up on categories. Obviously, the book market has to categorise things, and i...
MATT HAIG What we have now is a situation where politicians get a whole bunch of money from mainly business in...
MATT TAIBBI Prosperity has brought complications. Our lives are busier, faster, more stressful. They're nost...
MATT RIDLEY I pretty much got busted for everything, but I definitely stretched out my boundaries as a kid, as w...
MATT BOMER The main thing that 99designs is about is choice. It's a fantastic model that eliminates risk fo...
MATT MICKIEWICZ If you've ever questioned your faith, you're going to question it when you are burying your ...
MATT BEVIN 'The Kids Are All Right' is amazing. The performances are insanely good. Julianne Moore is g...
MATT BOMER Understanding is curing ignorance and curing ignorance is abolishing fear.
MATT MARTY I've always been a guy that's liked a crowd and having people around cheering for me. I'...
MATT KUCHAR Teenagers are in some ways the best readers because their imaginations haven't been narrowed dow...
MATT HAIG I'm not Brad Pitt or George Clooney. Those guys walk into a room and the room changes. I think t...
MATT DAMON Two hundred years ago, industrialisation ruined the labour force. In the modern age, especially in t...
MATT BELLAMY If I wasn't an actor, I probably would've tried to get a job with the Braves.
MATT LANTER This administration will have no tolerance for the type of brazen disregard that Planned Parenthood ...
MATT BEVIN If you took away all pain, if everyone lived forever, everything would be bland, flat and boring; th...
MATT HAIG I felt cheated by the way grown-ups told me that the future of the world was bleak when I became a t...
MATT RIDLEY In a society governed passively by free markets and free elections, organized greed always defeats d...
MATT TAIBBI There are 100 million blogs in the world, and it's part of my job as the co-founder of WordPress...
MATT MULLENWEG When you look at things like Flickr and Youtube, they are specialised blogging systems, so why hasn&...
MATT MULLENWEG A group of adventurers is known as a "party," and not just because they like to celebrate their succ...
MATT FORBECK