Al Franken
Related The only thing God didn't do to Job was give him a computer. I. F. STONE Are you taking us to the beach?" - Dan Cahill JUDE WATSON It looks ancient," - Amy Cahill JUDE WATSON It SMELLS ancient," - Dan Cahill JUDE WATSON Palm trees were fanned by a warm, light breeze, and they rolled down their windows to smell the sea. JUDE WATSON The fact credit rating agencies haven't changed their ratings is no surprise. I wouldn't have expect... GEORGE MAGLIANO MITT ROMNEY The saying sell all your belongings & give to the poor simply means "Redirect your mind to the verit... DAVID ATTA (A.K.A DAVIED ATTLARS & MR DAIN) People say, 'Well, why don't they get another job, why don't they pick themselves up by ... CAROLYN CHUTE People's jobs are the biggest asset that they have. The net present value of your job is worth m... DAVID MALPASS And you know, I said yesterday, you know, you know, if they're not going to - if the feds aren&#... JAN BREWER The love you get, is equal to the love you give. BEN OAK The only credit I can give them. They synchronize wonderful. That's all. They synchronize very -... CAB CALLOWAY Friendship is a double-edged sword one side it can be great and true but the other side it spells be... GARY F EVANS... LIL REL HOWERY PEACE IS THE OBJECTIVE TO WAR, BUT THE BLOOD RUNNETH STILL NATALIE URQUIETA Men don't avoid successful women because they're jealous; they often do it to avoid being in... IAN K. SMITH CRAIG GROESCHEL I'm all about the drugstore beauty products. They're affordable and get the job done. TAMARA TUNIE HOWARD SCHULTZ WALTER CRONKITE They do a great job and get their hands up. I'm going to give them all the credit in the world defen... AARON MEYER ERIK PAULSEN AZZEDINE ALAIA There are people, radio talk show hosts, those kind of people, it's their job to only have one o... DANNY BONADUCE SUSANE COLASANTI You have to give all the credit to their pitching, which held our offense to only one run. They just... MANNY ACTA I can tell you that when I travel the state, when I talk to people, they are really struggling, in a... ALEXI GIANNOULIAS The bottom line is, agencies will maintain their highest credit rating. Agencies are looking like pr... JOSH STILES VENUS WILLIAMS If Al Gore had allowed us and if the Florida Supreme Court had not intervened and rewritten the law,... KATHERINE HARRIS I was going to be the head wrangler at a ranch in Wyoming, and the reason I didn't take the job ... TAYLOR SHERIDAN The government can't create jobs; they'll destroy jobs trying to do it. The government doesn... PETER SCHIFF The cardinal rule for any performer is that they should know themselves before they enter the spotli... NEIL DIAMOND My job is to describe what their jobs are and demand they do it. JOE PENDRY DEYTH BANGER To have the cognitive abilities to do research and development is vital to a forever expanding world... GARY F EVANS... The first and foremost human right or fundamental right is the right to exist. APURVA GAGLANI If we ever put research into what the subconscious is we could probably come to the conclusion that ... GARY F EVANS... i know im not the girl you wanted. not the one you want to hear from. but what you see is what you g... SIMI GREWAL PETE ROSE People who work in financial services don't have one shred of concern about the well-being of th... BARRY SCHWARTZ LORETTA LYNCH This is a tough business, and you're asked to do a job. And part of doing that job is to rate an... KIMBERLY GUILFOYLE Juarez had become a failed city. The mayor of Juarez lived in El Paso. Not only did he not live in h... BETO O'ROURKE Juarez had become a failed city. The mayor of Juarez lived in El Paso. Not only did he not live in h... BETO O'ROURKE MARILYN MANSON It's difficult to give one person an advantage over another because they were displaced by the hurri... ANGELA GRIFFIN EVANDER HOLYFIELD American women mean a great deal to me. They're such lost souls, particularly the women of my ge... EILEEN FORD TIM WISE BOBBY HEENAN CHELLIE PINGREE NELSON MANDELA Many immigrants do not talk about what they endured back home. They were fleeing that world, and whe... ISABEL WILKERSON MICHAEL SPECTER I think that one of the things that we have to recognize is that the longer somebody doesn't hav... KEVIN HASSETT CARLOS GHOSN No matter what job you do, we all have a much different life than our parents had. My parents' g... KATE WALSH ERNEST HEMINGWAY My father lost his leg in 1927 playing soccer. A kick broke his leg; gangrene set in. They sawed it ... PETE HAMILL STEPHEN HARPER MARTHA BECK Cell phones were more popular in Cambodia and Uganda because they didn't have phones. We had pho... NICHOLAS NEGROPONTE ANGELA DUCKWORTH If compassion is so good for us, why don't we train our health care providers in compassion so t... JOAN HALIFAX RUSH LIMBAUGH And some of those people that voted Republican are now going to say, what a mistake I made because I... JAMES P. HOFFA PAT BENATAR People's financial situation has changed, and they surrender their cats all the time, because th... CELIA HAMMOND It's not a stretch to say the whole financial industry revolves around the compass point of the ... MATT TAIBBI JERRY DELLA FEMINA RUBEN HINOJOSA DANNY DEVITO I tried to get a job as a TV cameraman and they basically told me, 'You're mad, everyone wan... MARTIN CAMPBELL I never really had a job, because I've been cycling from such a young age: there was never reall... LAURA TROTT TED SARANDOS When they lost their jobs, they lost everything, ... income, benefits, friends, reputation, and some... JOANNE CIULLA The Federal Reserve, the Treasury, all the regulator agencies - if there's a problem of the fina... DICK CHENEY KEVIN NEALON Let's head out to the ruins." - Dan Cahill ROLAND SMITH College didn't stick, so I worked odd jobs, but I've always written songs and played music. ... CHRIS STAPLETON It's music. It's supposed to be fun and inspirational. You have to be inspired. If I did it ... MAX MARTIN STEVE LARGENT LORETTA LYNN ERIC ROTH You're afraid of getting hurt like I'm afraid to die. It doesn't mean I'm not going to live every da... VI KEELAND Wesley Rush doesn't chase girls, but I'm chasing you. KODY KEPLINGER I turn and kick with the first one and feel myself being lifted and thrown towards the beach. It's l... MARK SMITH DOUGLAS ADAMS DOUGLAS ADAMS LJUPKA CVETANOVA MITT ROMNEY COLIN KAEPERNICK I didn't want wrestling anymore; I wanted to not want it. But I couldn't get a job anywhere,... T. J. PERKINS GEORGE PATAKI Every single person, pretty much, is taught what they're supposed to do: go to school, get a job... AZIZ ANSARI GARY COLEMAN When 'Blue Collar TV' was on the 'WB,' we were their second-highest rated show, but ... BILL ENGVALL AL FRANKEN
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ROSE FRANKEN Never Muddy the People you Love ROSE FRANKEN Anyone can be passionate, but it takes real lovers to be silly. ROSE FRANKEN The world is 3 days: As for yesterday, it has vanished along with all that was in it. As for tomorro... AL-HASAN AL-BASRI AL GORE AL GORE Before I get out of bed, I am saying thank you. I know how important it is to be thankful. AL JARREAU AL GOLDSTEIN My family and I reside on a non-working farm, although we have a couple of horses and the usual stuf... AL JARDINE People who are overweight don't want unsolicited advice. Guess what. We know we're fat. We l... AL ROKER AL GORE AL GORE AL SHARPTON AL SHARPTON AL SHARPTON AL OERTER AL OERTER AL OERTER AL OERTER AL OERTER AL OERTER AL SHARPTON Deanna is a great pitcher, one of the best pitchers in the state. She does not get enough recognitio... AL PEACOCK I learned years ago you can shape your own destiny if you do get involved. There have always been a ... AL PAZAR There's a lot of overcapacity in the fishery that will need to be addressed. Probably that won't be ... AL PAZAR Every time you lose that pre-soak, the danger increases. It's the race to fish. AL PAZAR Newport stuck its neck out and did the heavy lifting. Some of the other ports resent us for that. Th... AL PAZAR It broke down this year, with both sides not able to agree, and so we went into our usual free-for-a... AL PAZAR That's fine if you keep playing this record over and over. It is going to be a very strong spring. T... AL PARISH It's going to continue to make realtors very happy. I haven't seen any unhappy people in that indust... AL PARISH Even though it's not the biggest property, it's getting in excess of $300 a night for a room. That's... AL PARISH It doesn't mean that everybody's condo went up 37 percent. It means they built more expensive condos... AL PARISH CA's acquisition of Wily Technology will further help our customers unify and simplify their increas... AL NUGENT CA's acquisition of Wily Technology will further help our customers unify and simplify their increas... AL NUGENT CA's acquisition of Wily Technology will further help our customers unify and simplify their increas... AL NUGENT CA's acquisition of Wily Technology will further help our customers unify and simplify their increas... AL NUGENT CA's acquisition of Wily Technology will further help our customers unify and simplify their increas... AL NUGENT That's Fry. She settled down and came through for us. AL NORTHINGTON We just had to play smart in the fourth quarter. Our girls showed a lot of heart and a lot of grit. AL NORTHINGTON We didn't finish in that game. Tonight we finished. AL NORTHINGTON We made some mental mistakes, but we're still so young, and that's going to happen. Our four freshme... AL NORTHINGTON I'm so proud of these kids. It's a wonderful feeling to see these kids progress. This is a win for t... AL NORTHINGTON The president believes very strongly that this is going to have a major, major impact on economic gr... AL HUBBARD The recovery will be paid for by the federal taxpayer and it will add to the deficit. AL HUBBARD It's coming from the American taxpayer. AL HUBBARD The last thing in the world we need to do is raise taxes and retard economic growth. AL HUBBARD Poverty is a lagging indicator. It is sort of the last ratio that declines with an expanding economy... AL HUBBARD The president is totally committed to Social Security reform. AL HUBBARD Maybe people thought of us as a running team. Or a three-point shooting team. A no-contact team. We'... AL HORFORD Maybe we don't look like we're tough guys, but the bottom line is we get the job done. I know, Villa... AL HORFORD It's great to see your son doing his job on the court. But it was no surprise. AL HORFORD There was not much we could do (last season) because it wasn't our team. It was frustrating at times... AL HORFORD We're so anxious for the game to get here. AL HORFORD We lost most of our scoring (from a year ago). But we knew we were going to come out here and make t... AL HORFORD You always dreamed about getting to this point. It is big in my mind. I'm pretty excited about it. AL HORFORD You could just see it in their eyes. That's when we go for the kill. AL HORFORD I am feeling a lot better; I'm taking care of myself drinking a lot of fluids and stuff. So I feel p... AL HORFORD They were leaving the wrong guy open. When you leave Lee, he's going to make you pay for it. AL HORFORD [He could belt out traditional blues and jazz with the best of them, but -- to the dismay of jazz pu... AL HIRT I don't know, ... I do not know. AL HIRT I've been glued to the TV. I am absolutely devastated. AL HIRT The New Orleans I knew is gone, ... It's never going to come back. I'm just grateful I had my years ... AL HIRT When Buddy played, he played all out, all the time. It was a wonder he didn't keel over and die befo... AL HIRT Rich could play way better than Krupa. AL HIRT Old Sharkey had a fat sound, man. He could blow like wild fire and when he played, I am telling you,... AL HIRT I always smoked cigars. I've smoked cigars with everybody in show business. AL HIRT A little bit of this, a little bit of that. I never had any specific style. AL HIRT You always feel the drawing you are working on is the best you've ever done... I am only interested ... AL HIRSCHFELD We arrived at Penn Station, took the Amsterdam Avenue street car to the end of the line. There was a... AL HIRSCHFELD You always feel the drawing you are working on is the best you've ever done, ... I am only intereste... AL HIRSCHFELD When I was about fourteen, my mother took me to see a musical comedy-and that was my first experienc... AL HIRSCHFELD Life isn't a science. We make it up as we go. AL HIRSCHFELD Artists are just children who refuse to put down their crayons. AL HIRSCHFELD $250,000 isn't a lot, but it is enough to make a statement. We are looking for projects that will be... AL HENRY I'm proud of our team. We great leadership from our four seniors - Peter Jerome, Josh Trottier, Alex... AL HENRY Give credit where credit is due. Fargo South is a machine. AL HENRY This is an OK way to end it. As far as I'm concerned, our team is the winner. AL HENRY I know the feds give us the same amount of money, as does the state, as does the county. But there's... AL HARTKOPF A traffic signal costs a lot more than $25,000. What can you say? They're getting off cheap. AL HARTKOPF I knew it was going to end up badly. AL HARTKOPF If it causes a little bit of difficulty for us, it just does. AL HARTKOPF I have very mixed feelings on it. I totally get where the commissioners are coming from. I see the p... AL HARTKOPF Would've, could've, should've. The bottom line is we didn't do it. AL HARRIS
I think I had a superb campaign team. And I know it's always expected that if you lose, people p... 
My respect for TSA agents went up a notch. We look at 'em like, 'You can't bother me, I&... 
I'm convinced normal people miss the majority of God's blessings because they're too busy to notice ... 
The lifeblood of job creation in America is small business, but they can't get access to credit. 
Give news a little more time, and don't request that they also, in their news time, entertain. W... 
Minnesotans are ticket splitters. They look to the candidate, not the party, which is the way it sho... 
I work for women. I only think for them. If I didn't like women, I wouldn't do this job. 
Everyone always says how I'm so smart, but they don't know what it's like being me. always feeling l... 
When you're a big sister, it's a great job. I don't know how little sisters feel about t... 
Congratulations, to the people which made gotham series, still need some more and extra work! 
In the old days, you know, they didn't have batting cages. And in most ball parks, they only had... 
What is the price of justice? What is the price of justice? When bail is set unreasonably high, peop... 
The burden of originality is one that most people don't want to accept. They'd rather sit in... 
I came up poor. My mother only had a fourth-grade education. My dad didn't have any education at... 
I don't think the job of the antiracist is to convert the far-out heathen racist, or give them t... 
WCW wasn't what I thought it should be. I thought it could be better. I would make suggestions, ... 
Our businesses can't create jobs when they're losing revenue, and the unemployed can't a... 
Does anybody really think that they didn't get what they had because they didn't have the ta... 
Someone told me that they didn't want to take a flu shot because they didn't want to put a f... 
You go to a plant not only to pat the people on the back, but to tell them about the opportunities t... 
Don't you ever get the feeling that all your life is going by and you're not taking advantage of it?... 
The job numbers are positive. We've had more jobs created now than were lost during the recessio... 
If I tell a man he needs to quit his soul-sucking job, he has to go home and fight with his wife or ... 
I didn't tell my kids, 'You have to play viola, and you have to play piano.' They chose ... 
The people that make this country work, the people who pay on their mortgages, the people getting up... 
I don't care who's on the label, because I have a job to do. 
The Democrats are going the way of Burma Shave and Crisco - products everyone loved and had in their... 
A person's credit report is one of the most important tools consumers can use to maintain their ... 
If you're going to have kids, there's only one way to go. They have to know they're the ... 
What I didn't want to do is get into a ratings race with television because really, for them, it... 
I do have a place in my heart for animal shelters because the job they have is impossible - so many ... 
People say, 'I'm for job training. We can train people to increase the likelihood that they ... 
You ain't supposed to get salmon when they're swimming upstream to spawn. But if you're ... 
Life can only be understood looking backward. It must be lived forward. 
What the strag will think is that any man who can hitch the length and breadth of the galaxy, rough ... 
One of the things Ford Prefect had always found hardest to understand about humans was their habit o... 
Not everyone has the time to be normal. 
The American people I talk to don't spend every moment thinking, 'How can I tax my neighbor ... 
At the end of the day, you have to look at, 'Are they knowledgeable? Are they doing their job?&#... 
I knew that good people who wanted to be a part of the American dream have become trapped in depende... 
I don't have any friends and don't have any intention of making any. People will stab you in... 
Minnesotans know the difference between the job of satirist and the job of senator. And so do I. 
You can't change your fingerprints. You have only ten of them. And you leave them on everything ... 
not good enough to be endorsed by Fox News. 
I have always been fascinated with those who try to look over the horizon and see things that are co... 
A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls. 
Love is a deception and a trap. Love is as big a myth that God sits with his flowing white beard in ... 
The entire North Polar ice cap is disappearing before our very eyes. It's been the size of the c... 
We have defeated Jim Crow, but now we have to deal with his son, James Crow Jr., esquire. 
I could have easily been a statistic. Growing up in Brooklyn, N.Y., it was easy - a little too easy ... 
To exercise at or near capacity is the best way I know of reaching a true introspective state. If yo... 
I never set out to beat the world. I just set out to do my absolute best. 
We're not anti-police... we're anti-police brutality.