Money will not make you happy, and happy will not make you money
Groucho Marx
Related
Anybody who thinks money will make you happy, hasn't got money.
DAVID GEFFEN Happy is harder than money. Anybody who thinks money will make you happy hasn't got money.
DAVID GEFFEN Anybody who thinks money will make you happy, hasn't got money.
DAVID GEFFEN Money does not make you happy but it quiets the nerves
SEAN O'CASEY Money does not make you happy but it quiets the nerves.
SEAN O'CASEY Money may not make you happy but it is sure lets you choose your anxieties.
VIKRANT PARSAI The best way to make happy money is to make money your hobby and not your god.
SCOTT ALEXANDER The best way to make happy money is to make money your hobby and not
your god.
SCOTT ALEXANDER It's as f you can say to money, 'buy me this,' 'take me there,' and 'do the following.' Keep in mind...
ROBERT M. GIGNAC I don’t care about lots of money or materialistic crap, that stuff cannot make you happy. It can m...
NYKI MACK Money doesn't make people happy. People make people happy.
STEVE WYNN Customers are not happy. I am not happy; we are losing money. And we are here for the customers, and...
RIAZ AHMED The only thing that will make you happy is being happy with who you are, and not who people think yo...
GOLDIE HAWN Doing what needs to be done may not make you happy, but it will make you great.
GEORGE BERNARD SHAW Money won't make you happy... but everybody wants to find out for themselves.
ZIG ZIGLAR If you want to make an ordinary man happy, or think that he is happy, give him money, power, flatter...
IDRIES SHAH Act as if you were already happy and that will tend to make you happy
DALE CARNEGIE If you are happy, you will find everything or everyone happy around you and how to make yourself hap...
SUPERNA BATHEJA Money doesn't make you happy. I now have $50 million but I was just as happy when I had $48 million.
ANONYMOUS Money doesn't make you happy. I now have $50 million but I was just as happy when I had $48 million.
ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER I'm not the type of guy that will make you happy. I'm the type of guy that will make you forget how ...
JAMES KARRIGAN If you develop just one muscle, one skill, make it the ability to focus and just get on with it. It ...
KATE REARDON Happiness is a shadow. If you chase it, it moves further away. But if you turn to make others happy,...
RVM Make money your master & it will master your affairs & flee,but make money your servant & it will se...
DAVID ATTA (A.K.A DAVIED ATTLARS & MR DAIN) Recommend virtue to your children; it alone, not money, can make them happy. I speak from experience...
LUDWIG VAN BEETHOVEN It's not about how much money you make, it's about how you manage the money you make.
MICHAEL CHAD BUTCHER Money doesn't make you happy. I now have $50 million but I was just as happy when I had $48 mill...
ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER When you're happy, a little Mozart will make you happier. And when you're sad, it will make you sadd...
PETER MARBOE If your mind is clear as to what you are trying to do, if you can say what you want out of life and ...
MARI ADAM May you have enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to ...
UNKNOWN Unhappy poor people at least have the fantasy that money will make them happy; unhappy rich people d...
DENNIS PRAGER If you lack the discipline to manage money,then more investing will not make you richer,rather it wi...
DAVID ATTA (A.K.A DAVIED ATTLARS & MR DAIN) There are some things that you can fulfil with money, but at the end of the day these are not the th...
SEBASTIAN VETTEL The scalpel won't make you happy.
DEMI MOORE By the aid of philosophy you will live not unpleasantly, for you will learn to extract pleasure from...
PLUTARCH Unfortunately, money make us happy - look around then say your opinion!
DEYTH BANGER Whoever is happy will make others happy.
ANNE FRANK I betray her, I betray myself and make you happy. I betray you, I betray myself and make her happy. ...
MEG MCFEY It will be successful and will make money, but you don't build something like this if you're in it f...
DANNY MASON The purpose of money is to trade for things that make you happy. So if you can bypass money and get ...
DEREK SIVERS After what we can say you can be sure the happy heart will make the happy day.
SOURCE UNKNOWN If you depend on others to make you happy, you will be endlessly disappointed.
UNKNOWN It is not God's will merely that we should be happy, but that we should make ourselves happy
IMMANUEL KANT Make money, money by fair means if you can, if not, but any means money.
HORACE Allowing someone else to make us happy will make them happy too.
PAULO COELHO WITH NOT A THING WILL YOU BE HAPPY, UNTIL YOU ARE HAPPY WITH NOT A THING.
ROGER DON DESHONE Make money your god and it will plague you like the devil.
HENRY FIELDING Whoever is happy will make others happy too.
ANNE FRANK Whoever is happy will make others happy, too
ANNE FRANK If you make money your god, it will plague you like the devil.
HENRY FIELDING When someone does something good, applaud! You will make two people happy.
SAMUEL GOLDWYN Make money and the whole nation will conspire to call you a gentleman.
GEORGE BERNARD SHAW Make money and the whole world will conspire to call you a gentleman.
MARK TWAIN Make money and the whole nation will conspire to call you a gentleman
GEORGE BERNARD SHAW Lead the life that will make you kindly and friendly to everyone about you, and you will be surpri...
CHARLES M SCHWAB Lead the life that will make you kindly and friendly to everyone about you, and you will be surprise...
CHARLES M. SCHWAB The world is so much busy of making money, and love doesn't make them happy!
BRADLEY B. DALINA Just be happy, and if you can't be happy, do things that make you happy. Or do nothing with the peop...
ESTHER EARL Money does not make men, men make money
MOHAMMED S. HASSAN Be open to the realization that who you were before and who you are now are two different people, an...
STEPHEN RICHARDS When you're in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell...
LINDA KAGE Self-confidence will take you places where degrees and money can't. beliefs in self will always make...
MICHELINE JEAN LOUIS This is the ultimate in feel-good projects. To make money and make people happy, it's a Santa Claus ...
CRAIG BELSER All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy
SPIKE MILLIGAN Don't get something that will satisfy you for a moment, Do something that will make you happy for a ...
WILSON E. VILLADELGADO JR. People are chasing cash, not happiness. When you chase money, you're going to lose. You're j...
GARY VAYNERCHUK God wants to use you to make other people happy! And the happier you make others, the happier you wi...
JOYCE MEYER If you can make money with your talents, why not?
STEVE PREFONTAINE If you are not happy here and now, you never will be.
TAISEN DESHIMARU It's not how much money we make that ultimately makes us happy between nine and five. It's whether o...
MALCOLM GLADWELL It's hard not to feel happy when you make someone smile.
ROY T. BENNETT Money is numbers and numbers never end. If it takes money to be happy, your search for happiness wil...
BOB MARLEY You don't make money from peace.
You make money from wars!
ANTHONY T. HINCKS You can make only enemies and not friends out of your money.
KOWSALAPATHY The money is staggering. You want to make sure the band is happy out there. Record sales are so dism...
JOHN BRANIGAN It is only if the primary or only reason you do what you do is to make money that you will envy ever...
MOKOKOMA MOKHONOANA If you have the money and you find the one player who can make you win and make the difference, no m...
ARSENE WENGER A jealous person will tell you that you should not be happy all the time, a successful person will t...
KISHAN S CHAUHAN All I ask is the chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
SPIKE MILLIGAN The research is clear that after a certain point, money doesn't make us happy. So you need to decide...
CECILE ANDREWS The good life, as I conceive it, is a happy life. I do not mean that if you are good you will be hap...
BERTRAND RUSSELL The good life, as I conceive it, is a happy life. I do not mean that if you are good you will be hap...
BERTRAND RUSSEL The good life, as I conceive it, is a happy life. I do not mean that if you are good you will be hap...
BERTRAND RUSSELL You will not find your passion in things and you will not find your passion in money. The more thing...
RANDY PAUSCH A person who's happy will make others happy; a person who has courage and faith will never die in mi...
ANNE FRANK Marry your friend, and you will be reasonably happy. Marry your lover, and you will be abundantly ha...
MATSHONA DHLIWAYO If you are having FUN, you can't be un-HAPPY. If you have a lot of MONEY, you can be UN-happy.
LORRIN L. LEE It's not about the money. We won't make more money on this. We'll add more to our cost than we will ...
CATHY EMANUEL The world would not be in such a snarl,/ had Marx been Groucho instead of Karl.
IRVING BERLIN The world would not be in such a snarl, had Marx been Groucho instead of Karl.
IRVING BERLIN The purpose of a liberal education is to make you philosophical enough to accept the fact that you w...
ANONYMOUS We humans
are so tortured
by not properly guessing
what will make us happy.
ATTICUS POETRY If you want to be happy, make others happy!
DADA VASWANI Live your life the way you want not how other's think you should. If you're not happy with who you a...
SARA DEWIG You must spend money to make money.
PLAUTUS You must spend money to make money
TITUS MACCIUS PLAUTUS Success does not mean happiness. Check out any celebrity magazine to look for examples to disabuse y...
SHAWN ACHOR Just make as much money as you can, but try your best not to rob or get robbed, it will sweep all th...
AULIQ ICE If you cannot make money on one dollar, if you do not coax one dollar to work hard for you, you won'...
E. S. KINNEAR No one else can make you happy, and putting that expectation on the other will doom both of you. You...
PENELOPE DOUGLAS
More Groucho Marx
I remember the first time I had sex - I kept the receipt.
GROUCHO MARX The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made.
GROUCHO MARX Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.
GROUCHO MARX I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX Well, Art is Art, isn't it? Still, on the other hand, water is water. And east is east and west ...
GROUCHO MARX I intend to live forever, or die trying.
GROUCHO MARX I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
GROUCHO MARX Either he's dead or my watch has stopped.
GROUCHO MARX I worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.
GROUCHO MARX Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes?
GROUCHO MARX Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men--the other 999 follow women.
GROUCHO MARX Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows, marriage does.
GROUCHO MARX One of the best hearing aids a man can have is an attentive wife.
GROUCHO MARX Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough.
GROUCHO MARX No man goes before his time -- unless the boss leaves early.
GROUCHO MARX Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like a banana.
GROUCHO MARX The trouble with writing a book about yourself is that you can't fool around. If you write about som...
GROUCHO MARX Practically everybody in New York has half a mind to write a book, and does.
GROUCHO MARX From the moment I picked up your book until I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day...
GROUCHO MARX The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open
GROUCHO MARX Just give me a comfortable couch, a dog, a good book, and a woman. Then if you can get the dog to go...
GROUCHO MARX I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and...
GROUCHO MARX I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yes...
GROUCHO MARX I am so broke, I can't even afford to fill up my bicycle.
GROUCHO MARX How does the healthy dog bark? Ruff Ruff.
How does the cold dog bark ? Scarf Scarf.
How...
GROUCHO MARX I think it is good that books still exist, but they do make me sleepy.
GROUCHO MARX I have a new philosophy. I'm only going to dread one day at a time.
GROUCHO MARX Insurance is like marriage. You pay, pay, pay, and you never get anything back.
GROUCHO MARX Friends are chocolate chips in the cookie of life!
GROUCHO MARX What did the dog say after walking in the desert for hours? If I don't find a tree soon I'm gonna p...
GROUCHO MARX I'm a Nillionaire. I have little to no money!
GROUCHO MARX One of the great things about books is sometimes there are some fantastic pictures.
GROUCHO MARX If aliens saw us walking our dogs and picking up their poop, who would they think is in charge?
GROUCHO MARX A child of five could understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.
GROUCHO MARX I've had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.
GROUCHO MARX When you're in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell...
GROUCHO MARX Blessed are the cracked, for they shall let in the light.
GROUCHO MARX Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.
GROUCHO MARX I worked myself up from nothing to extreme poverty.
GROUCHO MARX Look at me. I worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.
GROUCHO MARX Please accept my resignation. I don't care to belong to any club that will have me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX If you've heard this story before, don't stop me, because I'd like to hear it again.
GROUCHO MARX Although it is generally known, I think it's about time to announce that I was born at a very early ...
GROUCHO MARX I won't belong to any organization that would have me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception.
GROUCHO MARX There is one way to find out if a man is honest; ask him! If he says yes you know he's crooked.
GROUCHO MARX There is no sweeter sound than the crumbling of ones fellow man.
GROUCHO MARX I eat like a vulture. Unfortunately the resemblance doesn't end there.
GROUCHO MARX Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.
GROUCHO MARX Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse.
GROUCHO MARX I did toy with the idea of doing a cook-book. The recipes were to be the routine ones: how to make d...
GROUCHO MARX A clown is like aspirin, only he works twice as fast.
GROUCHO MARX I'm leaving because the weather is too good. I hate London when it's not raining.
GROUCHO MARX My mother loved children--she would have given anything if I had been one.
GROUCHO MARX Whoever named it necking is a poor judge of anatomy.
GROUCHO MARX No man goes before his time / unless the boss leaves early.
GROUCHO MARX The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made. Life is a ...
GROUCHO MARX Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it, misdiagnosing it, and then misapplying the w...
GROUCHO MARX No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend.
GROUCHO MARX While money can't buy happiness, it certainly lets you choose your own form of misery.
GROUCHO MARX I find television very educational. Every time someone switches it on I go into another room and rea...
GROUCHO MARX If you've heard this story before, don't stop me, because I'd like to hear it again.
GROUCHO MARX The first thing which I can record concerning myself is, that I was born. These are wonderful words....
GROUCHO MARX Alimony is like buying hay for a dead horse.
GROUCHO MARX I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.
GROUCHO MARX Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him.
GROUCHO MARX Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.
GROUCHO MARX Next time I see you, remind me not to talk to you.
GROUCHO MARX In Hollywood, brides keep the bouquets and throw away the groom.
GROUCHO MARX I must confess, I was born at a very early age.
GROUCHO MARX I have a mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it.
GROUCHO MARX She got her looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon.
GROUCHO MARX I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course.
GROUCHO MARX A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.
GROUCHO MARX Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?
GROUCHO MARX All people are born alike - except Republicans and Democrats.
GROUCHO MARX From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Someday I...
GROUCHO MARX I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.
GROUCHO MARX Before I speak, I have something important to say.
GROUCHO MARX Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.
GROUCHO MARX I didn't like the play, but then I saw it under adverse conditions - the curtain was up.
GROUCHO MARX Getting older is no problem. You just have to live long enough.
GROUCHO MARX Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted.
GROUCHO MARX A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere.
GROUCHO MARX I won't belong to any organization that would have me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX Please accept my resignation. I don't care to belong to any club that will have me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX No man goes before his time - unless the boss leaves early.
GROUCHO MARX I'm leaving because the weather is too good. I hate London when it's not raining.
GROUCHO MARX Humor is reason gone mad.
GROUCHO MARX One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas I'll never know.
GROUCHO MARX Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others.
GROUCHO MARX I wish to be cremated. One tenth of my ashes shall be given to my agent, as written in our contract.
GROUCHO MARX I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.
GROUCHO MARX I've got a good mind to go out and join a club and beat you over the head with it.
GROUCHO MARX I have nothing but respect for you -- and not much of that.
GROUCHO MARX He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don't let that fool you. He really is an idiot.
GROUCHO MARX I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
GROUCHO MARX I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yes...
GROUCHO MARX Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and app...
GROUCHO MARX I've got the brain of a four year old. I'll bet he was glad to be rid of it.
GROUCHO MARX Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows - marriage does.
GROUCHO MARX Hollywood brides keep the bouquets and throw away the grooms.
GROUCHO MARX Please accept my resignation. I don't care to belong to any club that will have me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX I don’t have a photograph, but you can have my footprints. They’re upstairs in my socks.
GROUCHO MARX Whoever named it necking was a poor judge of anatomy.
GROUCHO MARX All geniuses die young.
GROUCHO MARX There's one way to find out if a man is honest - ask him. If he says, 'Yes,' you know he...
GROUCHO MARX I read in the newspapers they are going to have 30 minutes of intellectual stuff on television every...
GROUCHO MARX We in the industry know that behind every successful screenwriter stands a woman. And behind her sta...
GROUCHO MARX I find television very educational. The minute somebody turns it on, I go to the library and read a ...
GROUCHO MARX She got her good looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon.
GROUCHO MARX The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open.
GROUCHO MARX I do not care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.
GROUCHO MARX No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend.
GROUCHO MARX My mother loved children - she would have given anything if I had been one.
GROUCHO MARX There is no sweeter sound than the crumbling of one's fellow man.
GROUCHO MARX She's afraid that if she leaves, she'll become the live of the party.
GROUCHO MARX I'd horsewhip you if I had a horse.
GROUCHO MARX In America you can go on the air and kid the politicians, and the politicians can go on the air and ...
GROUCHO MARX Practically everybody in New York has half a mind to write a book -and does
GROUCHO MARX From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I...
GROUCHO MARX Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
GROUCHO MARX Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others.
GROUCHO MARX There's one way to find out if a man is honest-ask him. If he says, "Yes," you know he is a crook.
GROUCHO MARX She got her looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon.
GROUCHO MARX Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.
GROUCHO MARX Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is han...
GROUCHO MARX Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
GROUCHO MARX It isn't necessary to have relatives in Kansas City in order to be unhappy.
GROUCHO MARX I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.
GROUCHO MARX I sent the club a wire stating, PLEASE ACCEPT MY RESIGNATION. I DON'T WANT TO BELONG TO ANY CLUB THA...
GROUCHO MARX I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
GROUCHO MARX I could dance with you until the cows come home. On second thought I'd rather dance with the cows ...
GROUCHO MARX Go, and never darken my towels again.
GROUCHO MARX From the moment I picked up your book until I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day ...
GROUCHO MARX Either this man is dead or my watch has stopped.
GROUCHO MARX Age is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live long e...
GROUCHO MARX My mother loved children -- she would have given anything if I had been one.
GROUCHO MARX A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.
GROUCHO MARX We dont like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out. Well, art is art, isnt it? Still, on t...
GROUCHO MARX I don't have a photograph, but you can have my footprints. They're upstairs in my socks.
GROUCHO MARX Women should be obscene and not heard.
GROUCHO MARX Please accept my resignation. I don't want to belong to any club
that will accept me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough
GROUCHO MARX I was going to thrash them within an inch of their lives, but I didn't have a tape measure
GROUCHO MARX The secret of success is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake those, you’ve got it made.”
GROUCHO MARX Why should I care about posterity? What's posterity ever done for me?
GROUCHO MARX My favourite poem is the one that starts 'Thirty days hath September' because it actually tells you ...
GROUCHO MARX My favourite poem is the one that starts 'Thirty days hath September' because it actually te...
GROUCHO MARX Love flies out the door when money comes innuendo.
GROUCHO MARX If income tax is the price you have to pay to keep the government on its feet, alimony is the price ...
GROUCHO MARX Don’t ever underestimate the importance of money. I know it’s often been said that money won’t...
GROUCHO MARX I must say I find television very educational. The minute somebody turns it on, I go to the library ...
GROUCHO MARX You've got the brain of a four-year-old boy, and I bet he was glad to get rid of it
GROUCHO MARX Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough.
GROUCHO MARX Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
GROUCHO MARX [When Judy Garland lost the 1954 best actress Oscar to Grace Kelly in] The Country Girl, ... Dear Ju...
GROUCHO MARX I was so long writing my review that I never got around to reading the book.
GROUCHO MARX Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows, marriage does
GROUCHO MARX Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana
GROUCHO MARX Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men, the other 999 follow women
GROUCHO MARX A man is only as old as the woman he feels.
GROUCHO MARX Here's to our wives and girlfriends...may they never meet!
GROUCHO MARX Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There's no doubt about it. Anytime you have...
GROUCHO MARX If a black cat crosses your path, it signifies that the animal is going somewhere.
GROUCHO MARX Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, and I'm going to be happy in it...
GROUCHO MARX I'm not crazy about reality, but it's still the only place to get a decent meal.
GROUCHO MARX If you're not having fun, you're doing something wrong.
GROUCHO MARX One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas I'll never know.
GROUCHO MARX Those are my principles, and if you don't like them...well I have others.
GROUCHO MARX Learn from the mistakes of others. You can never live long enough to make them all yourself.
GROUCHO MARX From the moment I picked up your book until I put it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I...
GROUCHO MARX It isn't necessary to have relatives in Kansas City in order to be unhappy.
GROUCHO MARX Please accept my resignation. I don't want to belong to any club that will accept me as a member
GROUCHO MARX I did toy with the idea of doing a cook-book. . . . I think a lot of people who hate literature but ...
GROUCHO MARX Why, I'd horse-whip you if I had a horse.
GROUCHO MARX I'm giving you 30 days to live.
GROUCHO MARX She's afraid that if she leaves, she'll become the life of the party
GROUCHO MARX Believe me, you have to get up early if you want to get out of bed
GROUCHO MARX A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.
GROUCHO MARX And I want to thank you for all the enjoyment you've taken out of it.
GROUCHO MARX Remember, we're fighting for this woman's honor, which is probably far more than she's ever done!
GROUCHO MARX Hey, when I said work fast, I didn't mean your friend, I meant the maid.
GROUCHO MARX Marriage is a wonderful institution...but who wants to live in an institution?
GROUCHO MARX I have nothing but confidence in you, and very little of that
GROUCHO MARX A man's only as old as the woman he feels.
GROUCHO MARX Blood's not thicker than money
GROUCHO MARX I didn't like the play, but then I saw it under adverse conditions - the curtain was up.
GROUCHO MARX Marry me and I'll never look at another horse!
GROUCHO MARX The only real laughter comes from despair.
GROUCHO MARX Q: What do you get when you cross an insomniac, an agnostic, and a dyslexic?
A: Someone who stay...
GROUCHO MARX Either this man is dead
or my watch has stopped.
GROUCHO MARX Outside of a dog, a man's best friend is a book. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
GROUCHO MARX Why a four-year-old child could understand this report. Run out and find me a four-year-old child. I...
GROUCHO MARX I cannot say that I do not disagree with you
GROUCHO MARX I would never belong to a group that would accept someone like me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX Years ago, I tried to top everybody, but I don't anymore, I realized it was killing conversation. Wh...
GROUCHO MARX Remember men, we're fighting for this woman's honor; which is probably more than she ever did.
GROUCHO MARX I won't belong to any organization that would have me as a member
GROUCHO MARX Did I ever tell you how I shot a wild elephant in my pyjamas? How he got into my pyjamas I'll never ...
GROUCHO MARX