While money can't buy happiness, it certainly lets you choose your own form of misery.
Groucho Marx
Related
Money does not buy you happiness, but lack of money certainly buys you misery.
DANIEL KAHNEMAN Money can't buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.
SPIKE MILLIGAN Money can't buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.
SPIKE MILLIGAN Money may not make you happy but it is sure lets you choose your anxieties.
VIKRANT PARSAI Money can't buy happiness, but it can make you awfully comfortable while you're being miserable.
CLARE BOOTHE LUCE I was always a fan of Groucho Marx as a kid.
MICHAEL FELDMAN The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made. Life is a ...
GROUCHO MARX You cant buy true Love and friendship from shop.You have to earn it by your own mind,heart,passion a...
SHUBHAM CHAVAN Choose your life's mate carefully. From this one decision will come 90 percent of all your happiness...
H. JACKSON BROWN, JR. Choose your life's mate carefully. From this one decision will come 90 percent of all your happiness...
H. JACKSON BROWN JR. The only real laughter comes from despair.
GROUCHO MARX I’ll put off reading Lolita for six more years until she turns 18.
GROUCHO MARX The world would not be in such a snarl,/ had Marx been Groucho instead of Karl.
IRVING BERLIN The world would not be in such a snarl, had Marx been Groucho instead of Karl.
IRVING BERLIN Choose your life's mate carefully. From this one decision will come 90 percent of all your happi...
H. JACKSON BROWN, JR. I don’t care about lots of money or materialistic crap, that stuff cannot make you happy. It can m...
NYKI MACK You cant live champagne life,if you cant buy beer.
I DONT KNOW Money can’t buy happiness, because you never have enough money.
VIKRANT PARSAI The data says that with the poor, a little money can buy a lot of happiness. If you're rich, a l...
DANIEL GILBERT Money can't buy happiness but it will get you a better class of memories
RONALD REAGAN Money can't buy you happiness, but it can buy you a yacht big enough to pull up right alongside it.
DAVID LEE ROTH Up there with my awards, I have a great big statue of Groucho Marx, just to put everything in perspe...
JOHN LITHGOW The way to choose happiness is to follow what is right for you. Live your own
dreams. And you will k...
OPRAH WINFREY Don’t ever feel bad for making a decision about your own life that upsets other people. You are no...
ISAIAH HANKEL Money cannot buy happiness.
ANNI-FRID LYNGSTAD Money cannot buy happiness.
FRIDA LYNGSTAD Money can't buy you happiness, but it can buy you a yacht big enough to pull up right alongside ...
DAVID LEE ROTH Money can't buy happiness; it can, however, rent it.
SOURCE UNKNOWN Money can't buy happiness; it can, however, rent it.
ANONYMOUS It's nonsense to say money doesn't buy happiness, but people exaggerate the extent to which ...
DANIEL KAHNEMAN What good is money if it can't buy happiness?
AGATHA CHRISTIE Money can't buy you happiness, no matter what store you go into.
MATSHONA DHLIWAYO Money can't buy happiness, but it sure as hell can buy some nice trees!
DONALD TRUMP People create their own happiness and also cause their own misery
DEE COLONESE Money will not buy happiness, but it will let you be unhappy in nice places.
ANONYMOUS The more money you spend on guns, the less money you spend on people! More weapons, less happiness; ...
MEHMET MURAT ILDAN Happiness is nothing but good health and freedom, and money is the single best way you can buy your ...
SCOTT ADAMS People say money can't buy happiness, but it can sure keep alot of things from making you sad.
RAHEEM ASKIA If you cant beat them buy them
KENNETH WATERS JR Money can't buy happiness, but it does quiet the nerves.
ANONYMOUS Money can't buy happiness.
HOWARD HUGHES I think that failure by your own standards is certainly a form of success.
BONNIE HUNT Money can't buy you happiness, but it helps you look for it in a lot more places.
MILTON BERLE Money can't buy happiness but it can buy a huge yacht that sails right next to it.
DAVID LEE ROTH Whoever opined "Money can't buy you happiness" obviously had far too much of the stuff.
DAVID MITCHELL Money may not buy happiness, but it can damn well give it!
FREDDIE MERCURY Money can't buy health, happiness, or what it did last year.
SOURCE UNKNOWN While money doesn't buy love, it puts you in a great bargaining position
CHRISTOPHER MARLOWE Money isn't the solution to your problems. It only lets you carry your unhappiness around in style.
SHANNON L. ALDER Even if you fulfill your hearts desire, by sacrificing something important, you may not necessarily ...
AI YAZAWA I'm a huge Groucho fan. There were some great comic minds that would transfer into any generatio...
JOE ROGAN Your clock cannot buy you more time, your bed cannot get you more sleep, your titles cannot acquire ...
MATSHONA DHLIWAYO Money can't buy happiness, but neither can poverty.
LEO ROSTEN When you're in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell...
LINDA KAGE Happiness is a choice…you cannot choose what happens, but you can choose your reaction to it and b...
RVM Its strange how people choose you and when you come to choose them ,they cant accept that
OMAR ASHRAF EZZELDIN You always hear the phrase, money doesn't buy you happiness. But I always in the back of my mind...
SERGEY BRIN While money doesn't buy love, it puts you in a great bargaining position.
CHRISTOPHER MARLOWE If men have easy access to divorce, many will choose it thoughtlessly. They may not gain true happin...
TOM COTTON You have to choose your own destiny.
You have to choose your own path in life.
LAILAH GIFTY AKITA Money Can Get You A Bag Of Skittles, But It Cant Get You The Rainbow.
NIJEE UNIQUE KAASHIF You are accountable for your own victory or misery
ETC WANYANWU Bookie - A pickpocket who lets you use your own hands
HENRY MORGAN All human happiness or misery takes the form of action; the end for which we live is a certain kind ...
ARISTOTLE You can't do much better. He lets you run your own shop.
LORRY LOKEY Whoever said "money can't buy happiness"...had a spending problem!
CLYDE DESOUZA Happiness Is. Happiness is here, now, in this moment. Happiness is not about what you have in your l...
JANINE LATTIMORE If you are willing to take responsibility for your own misery, then you can stop it.
JIM GENOVESE Throughout my life, there are four people I've met who were truly original people. The other thr...
ALICE COOPER Whether you choose to move on from your struggles and enjoy life or waddle in your misery, life will...
GERMANY KENT Don't look now, but there's one too many in this room and I think it's you
GROUCHO MARX Enjoy your happiness while you have it, and while, you have it do not too closely scrutinize its fou...
JOSEPH FARRELL Whoever said money can't buy happiness didn't know where to shop.
GITTEL HUDNICK Money can't buy happiness, but I'd rather cry in a Ferrari.
RAYAN BLACK The real achievement of Woody Allen was that he was making movies that felt very personal, and for a...
NOAH BAUMBACH Money won't buy happiness, but it will pay the salaries of a huge research staff to study the proble...
BILL VAUGHAN Money won't buy happiness, but it will pay the salaries of a large research staff to study the probl...
BILL VAUGHN Money is not the most important thing, but when you need it, there are few substitutes. So while I l...
ZIG ZIGLAR Certainly there are things in life that money can't buy, but it's very funny - Did you ever try buyi...
OGDEN NASH Happiness is your own treasure because it lies within you.
PREM RAWAL Money can't buy happiness. Or put my family back together.
ELIN NORDEGREN When you have read the Bible, you will know it is the word of God, because you have found it the key...
WOODROW T. WILSON Marry the right person. This one decision will determine 90% of your happiness or misery.
H. JACKSON BROWN JR. Certainly there are things in life that money can't buy, but it's very funny -
Did you ever try b...
OGDEN NASH Certainly there are things in life that money can’t buy, but it’s very funny –
Did you e...
OGDEN NASH It is true that money cannot buy happiness but it does make it possible for you to enjoy the best th...
GEORGE S. CLASON Whoever said money can't buy happiness simply didn't know where to go shopping.
BO DEREK Anyone who says money can't buy happiness just doesn't know where to shop.
BUMPER STICKER Money won't buy happiness, but it will pay the salaries of a large research staff to study the p...
BILL VAUGHAN Today, many will choose to live free of conditions and rules governing their own happiness. Why not ...
STEVE MARABOLI You must be the best judge of your own happiness.
JANE AUSTEN When a magician lets you notice something on your own, his lie becomes impenetrable.
TELLER When you have read the Bible, you will know it is the word of God, because you will have found it th...
WOODROW WILSON: Happiness is Modeling. If you want to become happy choose your role models wisely
MED YONES Freedom means you are unobstructed in living your life as you choose. Anything less is a form of sla...
WAYNE DYER All I ask for is the opportunity to prove that money doesn't buy happiness.
UNKNOWN People who say that money can't buy happiness just don't know where to shop.
KATHY LETTE You can't buy happiness
KURT COBAIN You use your money to buy privacy because during most of your life you aren't allowed to be normal.
JOHNNY DEPP Like most misery, it started with apparent happiness.
MARKUS ZUSAK
More Groucho Marx
I remember the first time I had sex - I kept the receipt.
GROUCHO MARX The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made.
GROUCHO MARX Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.
GROUCHO MARX I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX Well, Art is Art, isn't it? Still, on the other hand, water is water. And east is east and west ...
GROUCHO MARX I intend to live forever, or die trying.
GROUCHO MARX I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
GROUCHO MARX Either he's dead or my watch has stopped.
GROUCHO MARX I worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.
GROUCHO MARX Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes?
GROUCHO MARX Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men--the other 999 follow women.
GROUCHO MARX Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows, marriage does.
GROUCHO MARX One of the best hearing aids a man can have is an attentive wife.
GROUCHO MARX Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough.
GROUCHO MARX No man goes before his time -- unless the boss leaves early.
GROUCHO MARX Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like a banana.
GROUCHO MARX The trouble with writing a book about yourself is that you can't fool around. If you write about som...
GROUCHO MARX Practically everybody in New York has half a mind to write a book, and does.
GROUCHO MARX From the moment I picked up your book until I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day...
GROUCHO MARX The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open
GROUCHO MARX Just give me a comfortable couch, a dog, a good book, and a woman. Then if you can get the dog to go...
GROUCHO MARX I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and...
GROUCHO MARX I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yes...
GROUCHO MARX I am so broke, I can't even afford to fill up my bicycle.
GROUCHO MARX How does the healthy dog bark? Ruff Ruff.
How does the cold dog bark ? Scarf Scarf.
How...
GROUCHO MARX I think it is good that books still exist, but they do make me sleepy.
GROUCHO MARX I have a new philosophy. I'm only going to dread one day at a time.
GROUCHO MARX Insurance is like marriage. You pay, pay, pay, and you never get anything back.
GROUCHO MARX Friends are chocolate chips in the cookie of life!
GROUCHO MARX What did the dog say after walking in the desert for hours? If I don't find a tree soon I'm gonna p...
GROUCHO MARX I'm a Nillionaire. I have little to no money!
GROUCHO MARX One of the great things about books is sometimes there are some fantastic pictures.
GROUCHO MARX If aliens saw us walking our dogs and picking up their poop, who would they think is in charge?
GROUCHO MARX A child of five could understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.
GROUCHO MARX I've had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.
GROUCHO MARX When you're in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell...
GROUCHO MARX Blessed are the cracked, for they shall let in the light.
GROUCHO MARX Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.
GROUCHO MARX I worked myself up from nothing to extreme poverty.
GROUCHO MARX Look at me. I worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.
GROUCHO MARX Please accept my resignation. I don't care to belong to any club that will have me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX If you've heard this story before, don't stop me, because I'd like to hear it again.
GROUCHO MARX Although it is generally known, I think it's about time to announce that I was born at a very early ...
GROUCHO MARX I won't belong to any organization that would have me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception.
GROUCHO MARX There is one way to find out if a man is honest; ask him! If he says yes you know he's crooked.
GROUCHO MARX There is no sweeter sound than the crumbling of ones fellow man.
GROUCHO MARX I eat like a vulture. Unfortunately the resemblance doesn't end there.
GROUCHO MARX Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.
GROUCHO MARX Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse.
GROUCHO MARX I did toy with the idea of doing a cook-book. The recipes were to be the routine ones: how to make d...
GROUCHO MARX A clown is like aspirin, only he works twice as fast.
GROUCHO MARX I'm leaving because the weather is too good. I hate London when it's not raining.
GROUCHO MARX My mother loved children--she would have given anything if I had been one.
GROUCHO MARX Whoever named it necking is a poor judge of anatomy.
GROUCHO MARX No man goes before his time / unless the boss leaves early.
GROUCHO MARX The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made. Life is a ...
GROUCHO MARX Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it, misdiagnosing it, and then misapplying the w...
GROUCHO MARX No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend.
GROUCHO MARX I find television very educational. Every time someone switches it on I go into another room and rea...
GROUCHO MARX If you've heard this story before, don't stop me, because I'd like to hear it again.
GROUCHO MARX The first thing which I can record concerning myself is, that I was born. These are wonderful words....
GROUCHO MARX Alimony is like buying hay for a dead horse.
GROUCHO MARX I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.
GROUCHO MARX Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him.
GROUCHO MARX Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.
GROUCHO MARX Next time I see you, remind me not to talk to you.
GROUCHO MARX In Hollywood, brides keep the bouquets and throw away the groom.
GROUCHO MARX I must confess, I was born at a very early age.
GROUCHO MARX I have a mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it.
GROUCHO MARX She got her looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon.
GROUCHO MARX I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course.
GROUCHO MARX A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.
GROUCHO MARX Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?
GROUCHO MARX All people are born alike - except Republicans and Democrats.
GROUCHO MARX From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Someday I...
GROUCHO MARX I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.
GROUCHO MARX Before I speak, I have something important to say.
GROUCHO MARX Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.
GROUCHO MARX I didn't like the play, but then I saw it under adverse conditions - the curtain was up.
GROUCHO MARX Getting older is no problem. You just have to live long enough.
GROUCHO MARX Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted.
GROUCHO MARX A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere.
GROUCHO MARX I won't belong to any organization that would have me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX Please accept my resignation. I don't care to belong to any club that will have me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX No man goes before his time - unless the boss leaves early.
GROUCHO MARX I'm leaving because the weather is too good. I hate London when it's not raining.
GROUCHO MARX Humor is reason gone mad.
GROUCHO MARX One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas I'll never know.
GROUCHO MARX Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others.
GROUCHO MARX I wish to be cremated. One tenth of my ashes shall be given to my agent, as written in our contract.
GROUCHO MARX I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.
GROUCHO MARX I've got a good mind to go out and join a club and beat you over the head with it.
GROUCHO MARX I have nothing but respect for you -- and not much of that.
GROUCHO MARX He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don't let that fool you. He really is an idiot.
GROUCHO MARX I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
GROUCHO MARX I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yes...
GROUCHO MARX Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and app...
GROUCHO MARX I've got the brain of a four year old. I'll bet he was glad to be rid of it.
GROUCHO MARX Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows - marriage does.
GROUCHO MARX Hollywood brides keep the bouquets and throw away the grooms.
GROUCHO MARX Please accept my resignation. I don't care to belong to any club that will have me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX I don’t have a photograph, but you can have my footprints. They’re upstairs in my socks.
GROUCHO MARX Whoever named it necking was a poor judge of anatomy.
GROUCHO MARX All geniuses die young.
GROUCHO MARX There's one way to find out if a man is honest - ask him. If he says, 'Yes,' you know he...
GROUCHO MARX I read in the newspapers they are going to have 30 minutes of intellectual stuff on television every...
GROUCHO MARX We in the industry know that behind every successful screenwriter stands a woman. And behind her sta...
GROUCHO MARX I find television very educational. The minute somebody turns it on, I go to the library and read a ...
GROUCHO MARX She got her good looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon.
GROUCHO MARX The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open.
GROUCHO MARX I do not care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.
GROUCHO MARX No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend.
GROUCHO MARX My mother loved children - she would have given anything if I had been one.
GROUCHO MARX There is no sweeter sound than the crumbling of one's fellow man.
GROUCHO MARX She's afraid that if she leaves, she'll become the live of the party.
GROUCHO MARX I'd horsewhip you if I had a horse.
GROUCHO MARX In America you can go on the air and kid the politicians, and the politicians can go on the air and ...
GROUCHO MARX Practically everybody in New York has half a mind to write a book -and does
GROUCHO MARX From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I...
GROUCHO MARX Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
GROUCHO MARX Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others.
GROUCHO MARX There's one way to find out if a man is honest-ask him. If he says, "Yes," you know he is a crook.
GROUCHO MARX She got her looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon.
GROUCHO MARX Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.
GROUCHO MARX Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is han...
GROUCHO MARX Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
GROUCHO MARX It isn't necessary to have relatives in Kansas City in order to be unhappy.
GROUCHO MARX I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.
GROUCHO MARX I sent the club a wire stating, PLEASE ACCEPT MY RESIGNATION. I DON'T WANT TO BELONG TO ANY CLUB THA...
GROUCHO MARX I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
GROUCHO MARX I could dance with you until the cows come home. On second thought I'd rather dance with the cows ...
GROUCHO MARX Go, and never darken my towels again.
GROUCHO MARX From the moment I picked up your book until I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day ...
GROUCHO MARX Either this man is dead or my watch has stopped.
GROUCHO MARX Age is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live long e...
GROUCHO MARX My mother loved children -- she would have given anything if I had been one.
GROUCHO MARX A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.
GROUCHO MARX We dont like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out. Well, art is art, isnt it? Still, on t...
GROUCHO MARX I don't have a photograph, but you can have my footprints. They're upstairs in my socks.
GROUCHO MARX Women should be obscene and not heard.
GROUCHO MARX Please accept my resignation. I don't want to belong to any club
that will accept me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough
GROUCHO MARX I was going to thrash them within an inch of their lives, but I didn't have a tape measure
GROUCHO MARX The secret of success is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake those, you’ve got it made.”
GROUCHO MARX Why should I care about posterity? What's posterity ever done for me?
GROUCHO MARX My favourite poem is the one that starts 'Thirty days hath September' because it actually tells you ...
GROUCHO MARX My favourite poem is the one that starts 'Thirty days hath September' because it actually te...
GROUCHO MARX Love flies out the door when money comes innuendo.
GROUCHO MARX If income tax is the price you have to pay to keep the government on its feet, alimony is the price ...
GROUCHO MARX Don’t ever underestimate the importance of money. I know it’s often been said that money won’t...
GROUCHO MARX I must say I find television very educational. The minute somebody turns it on, I go to the library ...
GROUCHO MARX You've got the brain of a four-year-old boy, and I bet he was glad to get rid of it
GROUCHO MARX Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough.
GROUCHO MARX Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
GROUCHO MARX [When Judy Garland lost the 1954 best actress Oscar to Grace Kelly in] The Country Girl, ... Dear Ju...
GROUCHO MARX I was so long writing my review that I never got around to reading the book.
GROUCHO MARX Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows, marriage does
GROUCHO MARX Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana
GROUCHO MARX Money will not make you happy, and happy will not make you money
GROUCHO MARX Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men, the other 999 follow women
GROUCHO MARX A man is only as old as the woman he feels.
GROUCHO MARX Here's to our wives and girlfriends...may they never meet!
GROUCHO MARX Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There's no doubt about it. Anytime you have...
GROUCHO MARX If a black cat crosses your path, it signifies that the animal is going somewhere.
GROUCHO MARX Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, and I'm going to be happy in it...
GROUCHO MARX I'm not crazy about reality, but it's still the only place to get a decent meal.
GROUCHO MARX If you're not having fun, you're doing something wrong.
GROUCHO MARX One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas I'll never know.
GROUCHO MARX Those are my principles, and if you don't like them...well I have others.
GROUCHO MARX Learn from the mistakes of others. You can never live long enough to make them all yourself.
GROUCHO MARX From the moment I picked up your book until I put it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I...
GROUCHO MARX It isn't necessary to have relatives in Kansas City in order to be unhappy.
GROUCHO MARX Please accept my resignation. I don't want to belong to any club that will accept me as a member
GROUCHO MARX I did toy with the idea of doing a cook-book. . . . I think a lot of people who hate literature but ...
GROUCHO MARX Why, I'd horse-whip you if I had a horse.
GROUCHO MARX I'm giving you 30 days to live.
GROUCHO MARX She's afraid that if she leaves, she'll become the life of the party
GROUCHO MARX Believe me, you have to get up early if you want to get out of bed
GROUCHO MARX A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.
GROUCHO MARX And I want to thank you for all the enjoyment you've taken out of it.
GROUCHO MARX Remember, we're fighting for this woman's honor, which is probably far more than she's ever done!
GROUCHO MARX Hey, when I said work fast, I didn't mean your friend, I meant the maid.
GROUCHO MARX Marriage is a wonderful institution...but who wants to live in an institution?
GROUCHO MARX I have nothing but confidence in you, and very little of that
GROUCHO MARX A man's only as old as the woman he feels.
GROUCHO MARX Blood's not thicker than money
GROUCHO MARX I didn't like the play, but then I saw it under adverse conditions - the curtain was up.
GROUCHO MARX Marry me and I'll never look at another horse!
GROUCHO MARX The only real laughter comes from despair.
GROUCHO MARX Q: What do you get when you cross an insomniac, an agnostic, and a dyslexic?
A: Someone who stay...
GROUCHO MARX Either this man is dead
or my watch has stopped.
GROUCHO MARX Outside of a dog, a man's best friend is a book. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
GROUCHO MARX Why a four-year-old child could understand this report. Run out and find me a four-year-old child. I...
GROUCHO MARX I cannot say that I do not disagree with you
GROUCHO MARX I would never belong to a group that would accept someone like me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX Years ago, I tried to top everybody, but I don't anymore, I realized it was killing conversation. Wh...
GROUCHO MARX Remember men, we're fighting for this woman's honor; which is probably more than she ever did.
GROUCHO MARX I won't belong to any organization that would have me as a member
GROUCHO MARX Did I ever tell you how I shot a wild elephant in my pyjamas? How he got into my pyjamas I'll never ...
GROUCHO MARX