FastSaying

Morning, Bill,' said Lord Tidmouth agreeably.

'Go to hell!' said Bill.

'Right-ho,' said his lordship.


P.G. Wodehouse

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What ho!" I said.
"What ho!" said Motty.
"What ho! What ho!"
"What ho! What ho! What ...
P.G. WODEHOUSE Quote taken from Chapter 1 of The Corpse Wore Gingham:

"You love to figure out things as ...
ED LYNSKEY Man, I want to die, is all,' cried Ploy.
'Don't you know,' said Dahoud, 'that life is the most ...
THOMAS PYNCHON This is crap," Shaun said, withdrawing his arm.

"Right," I agreed.

"Absolutel...
MIRA GRANT Katherine," he said. He was still smiling.
"Yes." She leaned closer.
"Katherine..."
"...
L.J. SMITH Good morning, Eeyore," said Pooh.
"Good morning, Pooh Bear," said Eeyore gloomily. "If it is a ...
A.A. MILNE He has a mouth, lord," Gerbruht said.
"I envy him," I said.
"Envy him, lord?"
"Most o...
BERNARD CORNWELL Thought you were--'
'--Raphael said--'
'I said, no way in hell--'
'Damn straight--' NALINI SINGH She asked where he lived.

Second to the right,' said Peter, 'and then straight on till m...
J.M. BARRIE The doubters said,
"Man can not fly,"
The doers said,
"Maybe, but we'll try,"
BRUCE LEE There is a tiger in my room,' said Frances.
'Did he bite you?' said Father.
'No,' said Fra...
RUSSELL HOBAN Let's look for dragons, I said to Pooh.
Yes, let's, said Pooh to Me.
We crossed the rive...
A.A. MILNE You have been to hell, Ketut?"
He smiled. Of course he's been there.
What's it like in hel...
ELIZABETH GILBERT Come she said
Stay she said
Smile she said
Die she said NâZıM HIKMET When you wake up in the morning, Pooh," said Piglet at last, "what's the first thing you say to your...
A.A. MILNE The others can’t see me,” said the little ghost.

“I know,” I said. “My name’s...
KERSTIN GIER Just those three words, said and meant. I love you.

They were quite hopeless. He said it ...
JOHN FOWLES Locke sighed.
'So this is winning,' he said.
'It is,' replied Jean.
'It can go fuck ...
SCOTT LYNCH Oh, God," I said.
"No, it's Dexter," he replied, offering me his hand, which I ignored.
He...
SARAH DESSEN The poet dreams of the classroom

I dreamed
I stood up in class
And I said aloud...
MARY OLIVER It's Sanjit. It's a Hindu name. It means 'invincible.'"
"That's great," Lana said.
"Invinc...
MICHAEL GRANT Mr. Paggle lifted his own ale in the air. “What shall we toast to?”
“Yarrow’s right hoo...
MARCH MCCARRON You said you were a fairy princess
You said you were a shooting star
You said we'd go to B...
JENNIFER EGAN Shit,” he said. “That was awkward as hell to witness.”
“True dat,” Keira murmured. JENNIFER L. ARMENTROUT The words came out before Harry had quite got his tongue around them.
“Wangoballwime?”
J.K. ROWLING The waiter approached.
'Would you like to see the menu?' he said. 'Or would you like to meet th...
DOUGLAS ADAMS She said he looked hot in uniform.

He said she looked hot without clothes.

S...
ANGELA VERDENIUS You need a name.”
I covered the receiver for a moment. “We need a team name.”
“H...
ILONA ANDREWS Quote taken from Chapter 1:

"Is Petey Samson a bloodhound for real?” Blue asked. “I c...
ED LYNSKEY Doorman: Good morning Mr. Peaknis

Mr. P.: Go to hell
RACHEL CAINE I'm not going to be murdered,' Harry said out loud.

'That's the spirit, dear,' said his ...
J.K. ROWLING Exactly," said Maddie. "What’s your favorite flavor?"
"I bet I can guess," said Simone. "Choc...
RICHELLE MEAD So the little prince tamed the fox. And when the hour of his departure drew near--

Ah," s...
ANTOINE DE SAINT-EXUPéRY My grandpa notes the world's worn cogs
And says we're going to the dogs.
His grandpa in his ho...
ANON. I am Detective Inspector Me. This is my partner, Detective Her."
The traffic warden frowned. "H...
DEREK LANDY You went shopping with Rebecca?'
'Yep,' I said, pulling the shoes out of the box.
His br...
KARINA HALLE Everything is true,' he said. 'Everything anybody has ever thought.'

'Will you be all rig...
PHILIP K. DICK "When you wake up in the morning, Pooh," said Piglet at last, "what's the first thing you say to you...
A. A. MILNE Jem shook his head. "You bit de Quincey" he said. "You fool. He's a VAMPIRE"

"I had no ch...
CASSANDRA CLARE Mulch's tongue lolled out, resting on the centaur's neck. "Mmm," he mumbled around his tongue. "Hors...
EOIN COLFER Closed door means knock," Elena said to Clay, shooing him out.
You've been in here for two hour...
KELLEY ARMSTRONG He said he owned the land,
He said he owned the sea,
Through his sweet lies and manipulati...
CHARMAINE J FORDE What's up?" I asked.

You tell me," he said. "You were the one about ready to start making...
RICHELLE MEAD You should shower," I said. "Right now."

"I smell that bad?"

Actually, he smel...
BECCA FITZPATRICK She had to go," said Rose.
"It was because of her angel," said Indigo.
"And because of Gra...
HILARY MCKAY It's going to be okay," Park said.

She nodded. "Right."

"Because I love you."<...
RAINBOW ROWELL Oh, help!” said Pooh. “I’d better go back.”
“Oh, bother!” said Pooh. “I shall hav...
MILNE, A. A. Damen found himself alongside Jord. ‘If you want to live, ride fast.’

White-faced, J...
C.S. PACAT Sir,” James asked, “what are we going to do?”
“We’re going to look for water,” said...
DAVE BARRY (Frances has gotten out of bed again and come to her parents' room...)
'How can the wind have a...
RUSSELL HOBAN I still feel haunted,' she said. 'I thought it would go away. I thought if I faced it, it would all ...
JAMES S.A. COREY We shouldn’t,” protested Isabelle. “The Clave has a plan.”

“The Clave has the c...
CASSANDRA CLARE I follow suit, said the lion,
vacating his coat of arms
and movie logos; and the eagle s...
MARGARET ATWOOD There is beautiful you are."
"No," said Marged, between a sigh and a sob.
"Yes," said Owen...
RICHARD LLEWELLYN You're an unusual person," she said.

"Bill didn't like you, but he never likes anything d...
PHILIP K. DICK I’d kiss you, too, if I was closer.”(claire)
“I wouldn’t,” Michael said. “I don’t...
RACHEL CAINE They turned to Angel. "We will call you Little One," the leader said, obviously deciding to dispense...
JAMES PATTERSON Rabbit's clever," said Pooh thoughtfully.
"Yes," said Piglet, "Rabbit's clever."
"And he h...
A.A. MILNE Hemingway said:
'It don't come anymore.'
So where did it go?
WILLIAM S. BURROUGHS For a long time,’ Nico said, ‘I had a crush on you. I just wanted you to know.’ Percy looked a...
RICK RIORDAN A bad thing happened to you kids, Dad said. But it could have been worse.
So much worse, Mom sa...
GEORGE SAUNDERS What the hell, Cade? You knew, and you never thought . . . ‘Hey, maybe I should tell my
broth...
MAISEY YATES I'll go," he said.
"And that's safer because?"
"I'm a guy."
"Right, and having a pair...
GEMMA HALLIDAY O Deep Thought computer," he said, "the task we have designed you to perform is this. We want you to...
DOUGLAS ADAMS Everyone okay?" Mal asked.

"Never better," said Genya shakily.

David raised hi...
LEIGH BARDUGO How old are you, anyway?' she asked, squinting at him.
There was a pause. At last he said, 'Why...
NATALIE BABBITT The nutritionist said I should eat root vegetables.
Said if I could get down thirteen turnips a...
ANDREA GIBSON You look like hell,' he said to me in a low voice.

'Gee, Dax, don’t coat it with honey....
MARIA V. SNYDER When I said yes, i will
When I said no, I don't
When I said I have, I give
When I s...
SAMINU KANTI That's what you people never understand," said Rincewind, wearily. "You think magic is just somethin...
TERRY PRATCHETT There is a plain under a dim sky. It is covered with gentle rolling curves that might remind you of ...
TERRY PRATCHETT Bill Campbell: "It's not about the money."
Ben Horowitz: "What's it about, Bill?"
Bill: "I...
BEN HOROWITZ you can do all sorts of stuff that full-grown wizards can't, Viktor always said --"
Ron looked ...
J.K. ROWLING Dear Friend,
I'm sorry I haven't written to you in a couple of weeks, but I have been trying t...
STEPHEN CHBOSKY She is standing just behind you. Just behind your right shoulder."
In the silence of the woods,...
TERRY PRATCHETT You said to lean on your arm
And I am leaning
You said to trust in your love
And I a...
MAYA ANGELOU Quoth the Raven," said a glitching voice from the phone.

"Nevermore," said the man.
RAO UMAR JAVED You don’t understand!” she exclaimed bitterly.

“That,” said his lordship, with a ...
GEORGETTE HEYER What did you say, Arthur?"
"I said, how the hell did you get here?"
"I was a row of dots f...
DOUGLAS ADAMS I just can't believe that life would give us to each other," he said, "and then take it back."
...
RAINBOW ROWELL Rolando pursed his lips and sighed. “Just be careful.”

“Why, because her father ca...
FELIX ALEXANDER Come to the edge," he said.
"We can't, we're afraid!" they responded.
"Come to the edge," ...
GUILLAUME APOLLINAIRE Patch leaned back against the booth and arched his eyebrows at me. The gesture said it all: Pay up.<...
BECCA FITZPATRICK Do you have a Wish?' he asked, referring to this organization, The Genie Foundation, which is in the...
JOHN GREEN Where did you go to, if I may ask?' said Thorin to Gandalf as they rode along.
To look ahead,' ...
J.R.R. TOLKIEN It's beautiful," said Mort softly. "What is it?"

THE SUN IS UNDER THE DISC, said Death. TERRY PRATCHETT Stupid deer," I said, embarrassed about being startled. "We need a ladder."

"I think they...
OBERT SKYE I couldn't get through this last book."

"He didn't even just skip ahead to read the sex s...
KELLEY ARMSTRONG Sorry, Bill. I just have this awful vision of being p-peeled like an onion, looking for the seeds."<...
LOIS MCMASTER BUJOLD Can I ask you something?" you said. "How did you ever survive that scandal?"

She said, "I...
GABRIELLE ZEVIN Myrtle goggled at them.

"You're alive," she said blankly to Harry.

"There's no...
J.K. ROWLING Reader's Bill of Rights

1. The right to not read

2. The right to skip pages <...
DANIEL PENNAC What do you say, Pooh?"
Pooh opened his eyes with a jerk and said, "Extremely."
"Extremely...
A.A. MILNE But I don't want comfort. I want God, I want poetry, I want real danger, I want freedom, I want good...
ALDOUS HUXLEY Plaudite, amici, comedia finita est.

(Applaud, my friends, the comedy is over.)

LUDWIG VAN BEETHOVEN Basia coquum," Simon said. "Or whatever their motto is."
"It's 'Descensus Averno facilis est.' ...
CASSANDRA CLARE He bumped into a pay phone and said, 'Excuse me, miss,' on our way in," said Julian.

"It'...
CASSANDRA CLARE Molly blinked, then looked at Thomas and said, "Wait a minute.... We're his flunkies."

"Y...
JIM BUTCHER Don't play," said Hermione at once.
"Say you're ill," said Ron.
"Pretend to break your leg...
J.K. ROWLING It's snowing still," said Eeyore gloomily.
"So it is."
"And freezing."
"Is it?"
...
A.A. MILNE

More P.G. Wodehouse

If he had a mind, there was something on it.
P.G. WODEHOUSE Marriage is not a process for prolonging the life of love, sir. It merely mummifies its corpse.
P.G. WODEHOUSE There is only one cure for grey hair. It was invented by a Frenchman. It is called the guillotine.
P.G. WODEHOUSE It was one of those parties where you cough twice before you speak and then decide not to say it aft...
P.G. WODEHOUSE If there is one thing I dislike, it is the man who tries to air his grievances when I wish to air mi...
P.G. WODEHOUSE She looked as if she had been poured into her clothes and had forgotten to say "when".
P.G. WODEHOUSE Everything in life that’s any fun, as somebody wisely observed, is either immoral, illegal or fatt...
P.G. WODEHOUSE Bicky rocked, like a jelly in a high wind.
P.G. WODEHOUSE He had just about enough intelligence to open his mouth when he wanted to eat, but certainly no more...
P.G. WODEHOUSE And she's got brains enough for two, which is the exact quantity the girl who marries you will need.
P.G. WODEHOUSE Freddie experienced the sort of abysmal soul-sadness which afflicts one of Tolstoy's Russian peasant...
P.G. WODEHOUSE He had the look of one who had drunk the cup of life and found a dead beetle at the bottom.
P.G. WODEHOUSE I'm not absolutely certain of the facts, but I rather fancy it's Shakespeare who says that it's alwa...
P.G. WODEHOUSE I am not always good and noble. I am the hero of this story, but I have my off moments.
P.G. WODEHOUSE Unseen in the background, Fate was quietly slipping lead into the boxing-glove.
P.G. WODEHOUSE It was one of those cases where you approve the broad, general principle of an idea but can't help b...
P.G. WODEHOUSE ...and, according to my nearest and dearest, practically a half-witted bachelor at that.
P.G. WODEHOUSE The fascination of shooting as a sport depends almost wholly on whether you are at the right or wron...
P.G. WODEHOUSE There are moments, Jeeves, when one asks oneself, 'Do trousers matter?'"
"The mood will pass, s...
P.G. WODEHOUSE He was a Frenchman, a melancholy-looking man. His aspect was that of one who has been looking for th...
P.G. WODEHOUSE A melancholy-looking man, he had the appearance of one who has searched for the leak in life's gas-p...
P.G. WODEHOUSE The brains of members of the Press departments of motion-picture studios resemble soup at a cheap re...
P.G. WODEHOUSE Mike’s statement that he wanted to get up early and have a ride had been received by Psmith, with ...
P.G. WODEHOUSE How long Archibald slept he could not have said. He woke some hours later with a vague feeling that ...
P.G. WODEHOUSE No fair-minded girl objects to a certain tinge of jealousy. Kept within proper bounds, it is a compl...
P.G. WODEHOUSE No sir," said Mr Molloy. "I'm mighty sorry I can't meet you in any way, but the fact is I'm all fixe...
P.G. WODEHOUSE What ho!" I said.
"What ho!" said Motty.
"What ho! What ho!"
"What ho! What ho! What ...
P.G. WODEHOUSE It is no use telling me there are bad aunts and good aunts. At the core, they are all alike. Sooner ...
P.G. WODEHOUSE Gussie, a glutton for punishment, stared at himself in the mirror.
P.G. WODEHOUSE At a time when she was engaged to Stilton Cheesewright, I remember recording in the archives that sh...
P.G. WODEHOUSE In a series of events, all of which had been a bit thick, this, in his opinion, achieved the maximum...
P.G. WODEHOUSE At the age of eleven or thereabouts women acquire a poise and an ability to handle difficult situati...
P.G. WODEHOUSE I mean to say, I know perfectly well that I've got, roughly speaking, half the amount of brain a nor...
P.G. WODEHOUSE It has been well said that an author who expects results from a first novel is in a position similar...
P.G. WODEHOUSE That is life. Just one long succession of misunderstandings and rash acts and what not. Absolutely.
P.G. WODEHOUSE There is no surer foundation for a beautiful friendship than a mutual taste in literature.
P.G. WODEHOUSE The true philosopher is a man who says "All right," and goes to sleep in his armchair.
P.G. WODEHOUSE Employers are like horses — they require management.
P.G. WODEHOUSE The trouble with cats is that they've got no tact.
P.G. WODEHOUSE From my earliest years I had always wanted to be a writer. It was not that I had any particular mess...
P.G. WODEHOUSE She looked like something that might have occured to Ibsen in one of his less frivolous moments.
P.G. WODEHOUSE The principle I always go on in writing a novel is to think of the characters in terms of actors in ...
P.G. WODEHOUSE It was one of the dullest speeches I ever heard. The Agee woman told us for three quarters of an hou...
P.G. WODEHOUSE Why do dachshunds wear their ears inside out?
P.G. WODEHOUSE I flung open the door. I got a momentary flash of about a hundred and fifteen cats of all sizes and ...
P.G. WODEHOUSE I know I was writing stories when I was five. I don’t remember what I did before that. Just loafed...
P.G. WODEHOUSE If this is Upper Silesia, what on earth must Lower Silesia be like?
P.G. WODEHOUSE What's the use of a great city having temptations if fellows don't yield to them?
P.G. WODEHOUSE I'm not absolutely certain of my facts, but I rather fancy it's Shakespeare -- or, if not, it's some...
P.G. WODEHOUSE But when I say 'cow', don’t go running away with the idea of some decent, self-respecting cudster ...
P.G. WODEHOUSE Sober or blotto, this is your motto: keep muddling through.
P.G. WODEHOUSE Has anybody ever seen a drama critic in the daytime? Of course not. They come out after dark, up to ...
P.G. WODEHOUSE It seems to be one of Nature’s laws that the most attractive girls should have the least attractiv...
P.G. WODEHOUSE Boyhood, like measles, is one of those complaints which a man should catch young and have done with,...
P.G. WODEHOUSE A man's subconscious self is not the ideal companion. It lurks for the greater part of his life in s...
P.G. WODEHOUSE He looked haggard and careworn, like a Borgia who has suddenly remembered that he has forgotten to s...
P.G. WODEHOUSE One of the Georges - I forget which - once said that a certain number of hours' sleep each night - I...
P.G. WODEHOUSE ...there was practically one handwriting common to the whole school when it came to writing lines. I...
P.G. WODEHOUSE One of the poets, whose name I cannot recall, has a passage, which I am unable at the moment to reme...
P.G. WODEHOUSE You would not enjoy Nietzsche, sir. He is fundamentally unsound.
P.G. WODEHOUSE Intoxicated? The word did not express it by a mile. He was oiled, boiled, fried, plastered, whiffled...
P.G. WODEHOUSE It was a morning when all nature shouted "Fore!" The breeze, as it blew gently up from the valley, s...
P.G. WODEHOUSE Golf, like measles, should be caught young.
P.G. WODEHOUSE The least thing upset him on the links. He missed short putts because of the uproar of the butterfli...
P.G. WODEHOUSE Golf... is the infallible test. The man who can go into a patch of rough alone, with the knowledge t...
P.G. WODEHOUSE To find a man's true character, play golf with him.
P.G. WODEHOUSE There is nothing an author today has to guard himself more carefully against than the Saga Habit. Th...
P.G. WODEHOUSE It isn't often that Aunt Dahlia lets her angry passions rise, but when she does, strong men climb tr...
P.G. WODEHOUSE A certain critic -- for such men, I regret to say, do exist -- made the nasty remark about my last n...
P.G. WODEHOUSE The ideal adventurer needs... the quality of not being content to mind his own affairs...
P.G. WODEHOUSE -'What do ties matter, Jeeves, at a time like this?'
There is no time, sir, at which ties do no...
P.G. WODEHOUSE This is peculiarly an age in which each of us may, if he do but search diligently, find the literatu...
P.G. WODEHOUSE He was one of those earnest, persevering dancers--the kind that have taken twelve correspondence les...
P.G. WODEHOUSE It is the bungled crime that brings remorse.
P.G. WODEHOUSE The coops were finished. They were not masterpieces, and I have seen chickens pause before them in d...
P.G. WODEHOUSE All nice girls sketch a little.
P.G. WODEHOUSE Have you ever seen a man, woman, or child who wasn’t eating an egg or just going to eat an egg or ...
P.G. WODEHOUSE I went into the kitchen ten minutes back. The cat was sitting on the mat."

Beale's narra...
P.G. WODEHOUSE He's such a dear, Mr. Garnet. A beautiful, pure, bred Persian. He has taken prizes."
"He's alwa...
P.G. WODEHOUSE I was in that painful condition which occurs when one has lost one's first wind and has not yet got ...
P.G. WODEHOUSE Conversationally, I am like a clockwork toy. I have to be set going.
P.G. WODEHOUSE The ideas of debtor and creditor as to what constitutes a good time never coincide.
P.G. WODEHOUSE It is a good rule in life never to apologize. The right sort of people do not want apologies, and th...
P.G. WODEHOUSE There are situations in life which are beyond one. The sensible man realizes this, and slides out of...
P.G. WODEHOUSE Man's inability to get out of bed in the morning is a curious thing. One may reason with oneself cle...
P.G. WODEHOUSE Squiffy, have you ever felt a sort of strange emptiness in the heart? A sort of aching void of the s...
P.G. WODEHOUSE Half a league
Half a league
Half a league onward
With a hey-nonny-nonny
And a ho...
P.G. WODEHOUSE Like so many substantial citizens of America, he had married young and kept on marrying, springing f...
P.G. WODEHOUSE I said, 'Don't talk rot, Old Tom Travers."
"I am not accustomed to talk rot," he said.
"Th...
P.G. WODEHOUSE Red hair, sir, in my opinion, is dangerous.
P.G. WODEHOUSE [A]lways get to the dialogue as soon as possible. I always feel the thing to go for is speed. Nothin...
P.G. WODEHOUSE The storm is over, there is sunlight in my heart. I have a glass of wine and sit thinking of what ha...
P.G. WODEHOUSE Into the face of the young man who sat on the terrace of the Hotel Magnifique at Cannes there had cr...
P.G. WODEHOUSE It was a nasty look. It made me feel as if I were something the dog had brought in and intended to b...
P.G. WODEHOUSE I mean, imagine how some unfortunate Master Criminal would feel, on coming down to do a murder at th...
P.G. WODEHOUSE A little bit added to what you've already got gives you a little bit more.
P.G. WODENHOUSE It was a morning when all nature shouted "Fore!" The breeze, as it blew gently up from the valley, s...
P.G. WODHOUSE Every author really wants to have letters printed in the papers. Unable to make the grade, he drops ...
P. G. WODEHOUSE It was my Uncle George who discovered that alcohol was a food well in advance of modern medical thou...
P. G. WODEHOUSE I know I was writing stories when I was five. I don't know what I did before that. Just loafed I...
P. G. WODEHOUSE Few of them were to be trusted within reach of a trowel and a pile of bricks.
P. G. WODEHOUSE He was a tubby little chap who looked as if he had been poured into his clothes and had forgotten to...
P. G. WODEHOUSE Her pupils were at once her salvation and her despair. They gave her the means of supporting life, b...
P. G. WODEHOUSE Success comes to a writer as a rule, so gradually that it is always something of a shock to him to l...
P. G. WODEHOUSE He was white and shaken, like a dry martini.
P. G. WODEHOUSE She had a penetrating sort of laugh. Rather like a train going into a tunnel.
P. G. WODEHOUSE I just sit at a typewriter and curse a bit.
P. G. WODEHOUSE Golf... is the infallible test. The man who can go into a patch of rough alone, with the knowledge t...
P. G. WODEHOUSE Has anybody ever seen a dramatic critic in the daytime? Of course not. They come out after dark, up ...
P. G. WODEHOUSE I could see that, if not actually disgruntled, he was far from being gruntled.
P. G. WODEHOUSE There is only one cure for gray hair. It was invented by a Frenchman. It is called the guillotine.
P. G. WODEHOUSE The least thing upset him on the links. He missed short putts because of the uproar of the butterfli...
P. G. WODEHOUSE Why don't you get a haircut? You look like a chrysanthemum.
P. G. WODEHOUSE Flowers are happy things.
P. G. WODEHOUSE It is a good rule in life never to apologize. The right sort of people do not want apologies, and th...
P. G. WODEHOUSE Sudden success in golf is like the sudden acquisition of wealth. It is apt to unsettle and deteriora...
P. G. WODEHOUSE Memories are like mulligatawny soup in a cheap restaurant. It is best not to stir them.
P. G. WODEHOUSE To find a man's true character, play golf with him.
P. G. WODEHOUSE Golf, like measles, should be caught young.
P. G. WODEHOUSE Boyhood, like measles, is one of those complaints which a man should catch young and have done with,...
P. G. WODEHOUSE Has anybody ever seen a drama critic in the daytime? Of course not. They come out after dark, up to ...
P. G. WODEHOUSE The fascination of shooting as a sport depends almost wholly on whether you are at the right or wron...
P. G. WODEHOUSE At the age of eleven or thereabouts women acquire a poise and an ability to handle difficult situati...
P. G. WODEHOUSE A man's subconscious self is not the ideal companion. It lurks for the greater part of his life in s...
P. G. WODEHOUSE If not actually disgruntled, he was far from being gruntled.
P. G. WODEHOUSE Success comes to a writer, as a rule, so gradually that it is always something of a shock to him to ...
P. G. WODEHOUSE He virtually lives on fish
P. G. WODEHOUSE The lunches of fifty-seven years had caused his chest to slip down to the mezzanine floor.
P. G. WODEHOUSE To find a man's true character, play golf with him.
P. G. WODEHOUSE He felt like a man who, chasing rainbows, has had one of them suddenly turn and bite him in the leg.
P. G. WODEHOUSE The cup of tea on arrival at a country house is a thing which, as a rule, I particularly enjoy. I li...
P. G. WODEHOUSE Why don't you get a haircut? You look like a chrysanthemum.
P. G. WODEHOUSE I pressed down the mental accelerator. The old lemon throbbed fiercely. I got an idea.
P. G. WODEHOUSE "Chumps always make the best husbands. When you marry, Sally, grab a chump. Tap his forehead first,...
P. G. WODEHOUSE She looked as if she had been poured into her clothes and had forgotten to say "when."
P. G. WODEHOUSE If I had had to choose between him and a cockroach as a companion for a walking-tour, the cockroach ...
P. G. WODEHOUSE Psmith is the only thing in my literary career which was handed to me on a plate with watercress rou...
P. G. WODEHOUSE Unlike the male codfish which, suddenly finding itself the parent of three million five hundred thou...
P. G. WODEHOUSE New York is a small place when it comes to the part of it that wakes up just as the rest is going to...
P. G. WODEHOUSE She fitted into my biggest armchair as if it had been built round her by someone who knew they were ...
P. G. WODEHOUSE Marriage isn't a process of prolonging the life of love, but of mummifying the corpse.
P. G. [SIR PELHAM GRENVILLE] WODEHOUSE I always advise people never to give advice.
P. G. [SIR PELHAM GRENVILLE] WODEHOUSE Has anybody ever seen a dramatic critic in the daytime? Of course not. They come out after dark, up ...
P. G. [SIR PELHAM GRENVILLE] WODEHOUSE My only objection to the custom of giving books as Christmas presents is perhaps the selfish one tha...
P. G. [SIR PELHAM GRENVILLE] WODEHOUSE Golf...is the infallible test. The man who can go into a patch of rough alone, with the knowledge th...
P. G. [SIR PELHAM GRENVILLE] WODEHOUSE Judges, as a class, display, in the matter of arranging alimony, that reckless generosity which is f...
P. G. [SIR PELHAM GRENVILLE] WODEHOUSE Flowers are happy things.
P. G. [SIR PELHAM GRENVILLE] WODEHOUSE He was a tubby little chap who looked as if he had been poured into his clothes and had forgotten to...
P. G. [SIR PELHAM GRENVILLE] WODEHOUSE It is good rule in life to never to apologize. The right sort of people do not want apologies, and t...
P. G. [SIR PELHAM GRENVILLE] WODEHOUSE