Mr. Olsen in the fifth grade made me want to be a writer. He said, 'Chuck, you do this really well. And this is much better than setting fires, so keep it up.' That made me a writer.


Chuck Palahniuk

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I had a high school English teacher who made me really work at writing. And once, when I got an assi...
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If you want to be a good writer, be the best writer in the world. That's what I've done.
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You can't deduce the personality of the potter from the pots. It's a thingy you've made ...
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It's always a nice feeling, having people think that you feel things much deeper than you're...
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Just deleting vandalism on the Chuck Norris page," Radar said. "For instance, while I do think that ...
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Well, I'm a light traveller. I chuck things away.
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When I was really little, I wanted to be a wrestler so I could be like the girls I looked up to. My ...
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Chuck is doing a nice job this week, ... Roy's looking better. He probably got 40-50 percent of the ...
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I recall that my workshop leaders were tactful in their ways of acquainting me with my shortcomings ...
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All a writer has to do to get a woman is to say he's a writer. It's an aphrodisiac.
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'At the Gates of the Animal Kingdom' by Amy Hempel showed me the lean quality of prose.
CHUCK PALAHNIUK
If you take my stuff apart, you'll find my choruses of repetitions are picked up almost verbatim...
CHUCK PALAHNIUK
Someday you will die, and until you know that, you're useless to me.
CHUCK PALAHNIUK
She's not wearing makeup so her face just looks like skin.
CHUCK PALAHNIUK
If you knew that your life was merely a phase or short, short segment of your entire existence, how ...
CHUCK PALAHNIUK
Language, she said, was just our way to explain away the wonder and glory of the world. To deconstru...
CHUCK PALAHNIUK
Sometimes the very best way to deal with unpleasant things is to depict them in ways that allow peop...
CHUCK PALAHNIUK
My only writing ritual is to shave my head bald between writing the first and second drafts of a boo...
CHUCK PALAHNIUK
My personal theory is that younger audiences disdain books - not because those readers are dumber th...
CHUCK PALAHNIUK
He was the kind of boy any young girl should date while she's still able to recover.
CHUCK PALAHNIUK
My secret wish is right now to be romancing this dead girl. A dead girl. Any dead girl. I'm not what...
CHUCK PALAHNIUK
One thing I really envy about my friends who have kids is that as their children develop, they'r...
CHUCK PALAHNIUK
You have no idea what it is like to constantly disappoint people. You see it the moment you meet the...
CHUCK PALAHNIUK
Tyler and me at the edge of the roof, the gun in my mouth, I'm wondering how clean this gun is.
CHUCK PALAHNIUK
Put a gun to my head and paint the wall with my brains.
CHUCK PALAHNIUK
I try to forget about the expectation that's out there and the audience listening for the next t...
CHUCK PALAHNIUK
In a way, a lot of my humor comes from presenting things that are dramatic or shocking and then peop...
CHUCK PALAHNIUK
Then you're trapped in your lovely nest, and the things you used to own, now they own you.
CHUCK PALAHNIUK
The things you used to own, now they own you.
CHUCK PALAHNIUK
For me and my entire generation, we took on this kind of sarcastic, ironic, snarkiness because it se...
CHUCK PALAHNIUK
No matter how much you think you love somebody, you'll step back when the pool of their blood ed...
CHUCK PALAHNIUK
Did perpetual happiness in the Garden of Eden maybe get so boring that eating the apple was justifie...
CHUCK PALAHNIUK
Hysteria is only possible with an audience.
CHUCK PALAHNIUK
Game shows are designed to make us feel better about the random, useless facts that are all we have ...
CHUCK PALAHNIUK
Don't do what you want. Do what you don't want. Do what you're trained not to want. Do the things th...
CHUCK PALAHNIUK
With a gun stuck in your mouth and the barrel of the gun between your teeth, you can only talk in vo...
CHUCK PALAHNIUK
The things you own end up owning you.
CHUCK PALAHNIUK
No fear. No distractions. The ability to let that which does not matter truly slide.
CHUCK PALAHNIUK
We're the middle children of history, man. No purpose or place. We have no Great War. No Great Depre...
CHUCK PALAHNIUK
We just had a near-life experience!
CHUCK PALAHNIUK
This is why I loved the support groups so much. If people thought you were dying, they gave you thei...
CHUCK PALAHNIUK
It's only after we've lost everything that we're free to do anything.
CHUCK PALAHNIUK
If you could be God's worst enemy or nothing, which would you choose?
CHUCK PALAHNIUK
Being tired isn't the same as being rich, but most times it's close enough.
CHUCK PALAHNIUK
A minute of perfection was worth the effort. A moment was the most you could ever expect from perfec...
CHUCK PALAHNIUK
Masochism is a valuable job skill.
CHUCK PALAHNIUK
Someone bent on suicide won't have much sense of humor left.
CHUCK PALAHNIUK
Which is worse: Hell or nothing?
CHUCK PALAHNIUK
People don't want their lives fixed. Nobody wants their problems solved. Their dramas. Their distrac...
CHUCK PALAHNIUK
You buy furniture. You tell yourself, this is the last sofa I will ever need in my life. Buy the sof...
CHUCK PALAHNIUK
Real discoveries come from chaos.
CHUCK PALAHNIUK
The future is just wasted on some people.
CHUCK PALAHNIUK
You can find fresh pain every time you discover what you pretty much already know.
CHUCK PALAHNIUK
If you don’t know what you want, you end up with a lot you don’t
CHUCK PALAHNIUK
There’s always the chance you could die right in the middle of your life story
CHUCK PALAHNIUK
Us. God's forgotten Science Fair project, left to grow mold. God's goldfish, ignored until we're for...
CHUCK PALAHNIUK
As if you cut open a rag doll with a sill name, and found inside:Real intestines, real lungs, a beat...
CHUCK PALAHNIUK
You are not special. Your are not a beautiful or unique snowflake. You are the same decaying organic...
CHUCK PALAHNIUK
I tell everybody, i'm tired of being jerked around, okay? so lets just not pretend. i don't have fuc...
CHUCK PALAHNIUK
The laws that keep us safe, these same laws condemn us to boredom. without access to true chaos, we'...
CHUCK PALAHNIUK