My grandmother was a very tough woman. She buried three husbands and two of them were just napping.

My mother buried three husbands - and two of them were only napping.

My mother's mother is a very tough cookie. She buried three husbands. Two of them were just napping.

My mother buried three husbands Ð and two of them were only napping.

Some people think having large breasts makes a woman stupid. Actually, it's quite the opposite: A woman having large breasts makes men stupid.

While I do occasionally order items on the Internet, it's hard to teach an old shopper new tricks. I'm convinced that the catalogue will eventually disappear, but not until the last baby boomers have kicked off their smelly Nikes and been buried in mulch.