My longing to improve my looks via The Body Shop is being replaced by my longing to improve my looks via Photoshop.

From age 16 to age 20, a woman's body is a temple. From 21 to 45, it's an amusement park. From 45 on, it's a terrarium.

Almost 30 years ago, I started seeking help from a counselor with a master's of social work in New York City, but we were never a good match. It was like being in a bad relationship, except the guy could actually bill my health insurance company for lousy dates.

Sometimes things can take a very long time and still not be very good. It took us all of evolutionary history just to get where we are today, for instance, and mostly where we are today is on the couch.

Every patient tends to bury the most important story inside some other story, just the way new writers often 'bury the lede.' 'Burying the lede' is an old journalism term for when you only find out the real point about halfway into the article, but it also applies to therapy.

My mother thinks Mick Jagger is a foreign car.