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My luck is getting worse and worse. Last night, for instance, I was mugged by a quaker.


Woody Allen

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I think Woody Allen is Woody Allen, and no matter where he goes he still makes his Woody Allen films...
ABBAS KIAROSTAMI I'm a writer and director, and the movie I've seen a million times is 'Stardust Memories...
ROMAN COPPOLA It is getting worse and worse.
JOE JOAQUIN My influences were Woody Allen and Lenny Bruce.
DAVID STEINBERG The situation is getting worse day-by-day.
FARID ABDULKADIR The reason I do what I do is because I was influenced by Steve Martin, by Woody Allen, by Bob Newhar...
ELLEN DEGENERES But nothing beats a Woody Allen film on a Sunday night, with a glass of wine and some leftovers.
KATE FLEETWOOD My early prose style - this is so embarrassing - was sort of a suburban, Presbyterian knockoff of Wo...
JOHN HUGHES If Woody Allen were a Muslim, he'd be dead by now.
SALMAN RUSHDIE Woody Allen is a great dramatist and a great comedian.
CATE BLANCHETT [For an actor who was then living in New York, Daniels said, working on a Woody Allen movie was some...
JEFF DANIELS In my second game, I started missing spares and the lanes started getting worse for me.
COURTNEY CAMPBELL If Woody Allen were a Muslim, he'd be dead by now.
SALMAN RUSHDIE The honester the man, the worse luck
JOHN RAY I definitely have a little Woody Allen inside of me. That is true.
AUTRE NE VEUT A customer who often comes to my restaurant and always enchants me for his simplicity, shyness and s...
ARRIGO CIPRIANI During this past summer, my migraines started getting much, much worse - to the point where I was ge...
DEBRA MOREAU Love hurts worse than getting slammed by a 250-pound linebacker.
MIRANDA KENNEALLY I think there is a lot of it and it's getting worse.
KAREN KULLAS Last year was a lost year for him, and we're lucky anything worse didn't happen.
BARCLAY TAGG Who are you, Woody Allen?
JOY BEHAR Our luck really just couldn't have been worse.
DEBBY KING I sometimes feel that racism is getting worse.
TAHAR RAHIM I love you and it's getting worse.
JOSEPH E. MORRIS This is a very serious situation, and getting worse.
DAVID GREY You never know what worse luck your bad luck has saved you from.
CORMAC MCCARTHY Things could always be worse; for instance, you could be ugly and work in the Post Office.
ADRIENNE E. GUSOFF It's a lawless village. They've got to get something. It's just getting worse and worse.
PAUL CUMMINGS The mud is getting worse,
JOHN DUNN On Friday, when I came in, we were doing jokes about being able to get out. Then it just started get...
WILL DURST It seems as if the rhetoric is getting worse and worse. A lot of that has to do with the fact that t...
JOSEPH MARBACH I thought I was going to feel a little bit worse, but I've been practicing for the last month.
MARCELO RIOS I wasn't playing well, and I fought my swing forever, and I was sick of it, and I was getting worse ...
CURTIS STRANGE I hate Woody Allen physically, I dislike that kind of man.
ORSON WELLES Well, obviously I was excited by the idea that Woody Allen was going to direct it. But at the same t...
RADHA MITCHELL She went over the rationale for the decision that this was a deteriorating situation that was gettin...
CHRISTOPHER DODD It's a pity that the tennis is really going down the drain. Every year it's getting worse an...
MARAT SAFIN New Orleans dodged a bullet. It was the moment for viewers and in some respects for me that we under...
AARON BROWN It was kind of scary because working with Woody Allen becomes sort of a big deal in your mind. He di...
RADHA MITCHELL After working with Woody Allen, sharing screen space with De Niro was a dream come true.
ANUPAM KHER Need is the driving force, Need makes people better -- luck only makes them worse.
SOURCE UNKNOWN All I need is my brains, my eyes and my personality, for better or for worse.
WILLIAM ALLARD All I need is my brains, my eyes and my personality, for better or for worse.
WILLIAM ALBERT ALLARD We promised that things would get better, but things were getting worse and worse, ... Cold War.
ALEXANDER YAKOVLEV For better or worse, we’d ended those nights together. Not last night, and when he left me alone, ...
MEREDITH WILD For several years after '95, we had continuity with a core group of players. This day and age, keepi...
LEE PELEKOUDAS Woody Allen movies are like Beatles songs. I can't name my favorite without you immediately nami...
COLIN TREVORROW The deficit is getting worse, but that's not a surprise.
GREG ANDERSON Probably the only way Woody Allen and I are similar is that he has a lot to say about Nietzsche.
T. J. MILLER ...I might mention my belief that girls who like Woody Allen movies are nicer girls than girls who d...
ADAM LEVIN The bed bug situation is getting worse before it's getting better.
BRAD MITCHELL This is building way too much, and it is getting worse.
BILL CONERLY I didn't think it was that bad when I was playing in the playoffs or working out this summer. But it...
AMAR STOUDEMIRE Each time he documented, you could tell it was getting worse.
ANN MEREDITH Woody Allen said that 95% of history is explained as a man trying to impress a woman. And that's...
MITT ROMNEY Racism is getting worse because of a lack of moral leadership,
PAULINE HANSON Age is an ugly thing, and it goes on getting worse.
DIANA COOPER Life is hard and it gets worse and worse and worse.
CAT POWER Trying and getting hurt can't possibly be worse for you than being... stuck.
ELIEZER YUDKOWSKY I'm not so sure it was worse last season against Hampton.
AL LAVAN When a man is getting worse, he understands his own badness less and less.
C.S. LEWIS People were looting tombs 5,000 years ago in Egypt as soon as people were buried, but the problem is...
SARAH PARCAK Last year, I said this is going to be a season to tell our grandchildren about, but this one was wor...
MAX MAYFIELD He'd gone to church for forty years and was only getting worse. It seemed like this should tell God ...
SUE MONK KIDD The quality of water is getting worse and worse. A high proportion of new-born babies die of water-b...
ELISABETH SIME The worse thing I could have done is to live with a man and not be married. That was the worse thing...
DORIS PAYNE I got tight and was thinking about my injury and things got worse
JUSTINE HENIN-HARDENNE It was horrible. Especially because it got worse and worse.
CARL ANDERSON There was an instance where it showed the wrong call was made last night and there was another insta...
PAUL KONERKO She thought men and women belonged to different races and any getting together was worse than
LORNA SAGE If you're not getting better, you're getting worse.
DRAYMOND GREEN Woody Allen movies notwithstanding, therapy, in the early eighties, was not exactly a hot conversati...
DAN HILL Last summer, I was walking to my car early in the morning before work, I had an early meeting, and I...
JUSTIN ELLIS Congratulations are in order for Woody Allen - he and Soon Yi have a brand new baby daughter. It'...
DAVID LETTERMAN I had no talent for science. What was infinitely worse: all my fraternity brothers were engineers.
KURT VONNEGUT I saw 'Animal House' in the theater the night before I left for college. And for better or w...
NEIL FLYNN But for better or worse, I am not motivated by kindness.
SUZANNE COLLINS Age is an ugly thing, and it goes on getting worse. -Diana Cooper.
DIANA COOPER All you got to do is look around. This country's getting worse and worse and more and more immor...
TERRY BRADSHAW (On Panic Attacks) And once I had my first one with Maegan, they crept up about once a month. And wi...
MAMRIE HART In my nearly 18 months here what I have found is that instead of getting better it may in fact be wo...
GARY ADAMS I'm deeply saddened by this. He was a beautiful man with high principals and we're worse for his pas...
DAVID BARROW My situation should have been a lot worse. By rights I shouldn't have survived the crash.
RICK ALLEN I desire to press forward for direction to my Master in all things; but as to trusting to my own obe...
CHARLES SPURGEON A conservative is a liberal who got mugged the night before
FRANK RIZZO A conservative is a liberal who got mugged the night before.
FRANK RIZZO [Wells'] health is a major concern. I think he's had this problem the last couple of years. He's had...
JOSH FOGG His name is Tristan, by the way."
"Tristan?"
"Yes. Oh, I should have told you. You must h...
JAMES HERRIOT My first reaction is it could have been a lot worse than it was.
DON CARTY Was it worse for him, Reynie wondered, to have felt loved and then rejected? Or was it worse to have...
TRENTON LEE STEWART But in this case, he had my cell phone and my phone was ringing and I had just come back from Austra...
RADHA MITCHELL Being kidnapped and abused by the undead was worse than calculus, but not by a wide margin.
THOMM QUACKENBUSH That wasn't the nightmare, ... After we got to the staging point, it was horrendous I wanted to get ...
DEMETRIUS No way we can do worse than last year, which was top five. But I'm hoping for top three. That's what...
BRADY RICHARDSON That court is somewhat faster than the one in Paris and it also feels slightly different than last y...
AMELIE MAURESMO One-third of our people were dangerously ill, getting worse hourly, and we felt sure of meeting the ...
ALVAR N. C. DE VACA Generally, the situation is getting worse and pressure is piling on the weakened people and livestoc...
FARID ABDULKADIR If you look at all the things that are happening...if you add it up in any manner you want, what you...
MASIPULA SITHOLE I wanted to work with Mike Leigh. I had my list of British people I wanted to work with, and I wante...
CARMEN EJOGO If the map shows a different structure from the territory represented -- for instance, shows the cit...
ALFRED KORZYBSKI

More Woody Allen

If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.
WOODY ALLEN Comedy just pokes at problems, rarely confronts them squarely. Drama is like a plate of meat and pot...
WOODY ALLEN I'm very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me this watch.
WOODY ALLEN I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying.
WOODY ALLEN If you're not failing every now and again, it's a sign you're not doing anything very in...
WOODY ALLEN What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my car...
WOODY ALLEN What if nothing exists and we're all in somebody's dream?
WOODY ALLEN There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman...
WOODY ALLEN God is silent. Now if only man would shut up.
WOODY ALLEN I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. . . I want to achieve it through not dying.
WOODY ALLEN The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won't get much sleep.
WOODY ALLEN The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going to m...
WOODY ALLEN There is a theory which states that if ever anybody discovers exactly what the Universe is for and w...
WOODY ALLEN Sex is nature's way of saying 'Hi!'
WOODY ALLEN Sex is like air; it's not important unless you aren't getting any
WOODY ALLEN sex is simple, love stings afterwards.
WOODY ALLEN If it wasn't for dogs, some people would never go for a walk.
WOODY ALLEN I took a test in Existentialism. I left all the answers blank and got 100.
WOODY ALLEN Sex is the most fun you can have without laughing.
WOODY ALLEN Love is the answer, but while you are waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions.
WOODY ALLEN I'm not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.
WOODY ALLEN Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television.
WOODY ALLEN Due to current economic conditions the light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off.
WOODY ALLEN What animal can jump higher than a house? Any animal that can jump at all, because houses can't jum...
WOODY ALLEN You know the speed of light; so what is the speed of dark?
WOODY ALLEN You're born free, then you're taxed to death.
WOODY ALLEN It doesn't make a difference what temperature a room is, it's always room temperature.
WOODY ALLEN The decision to decide is a decision in itself.
WOODY ALLEN One small decision can change your life! That's why I always let someone else make my decisions, tha...
WOODY ALLEN Growing up is amazing, until you get old!
WOODY ALLEN All of us have moments in our lives that test our courage. Taking children into a house with a white...
WOODY ALLEN If I don't log into Facebook two days in a row, call the police, someone must've kidnapped me!
WOODY ALLEN I'm not anti-social. I'm just not social.
WOODY ALLEN Is sex dirty? Only when it's being done right.
WOODY ALLEN The difference between sex and love is that sex relieves tension and love causes it.
WOODY ALLEN I don't know the question, but sex is definitely the answer.
WOODY ALLEN I love nature, I just don't want to get any of it on me.
WOODY ALLEN In my next life I want to live my life backwards. You start out dead and get that out of the way. Th...
WOODY ALLEN Life is divided up into the horrible and the miserable.
WOODY ALLEN A Bay Area Bisexual told me I didn't quite coincide with either of her desires.
WOODY ALLEN Today I saw a red and yellow sunset and thought, how insignificant I am! Of course, I thought that y...
WOODY ALLEN Interestingly, according to modern astronomers, space is finite. This is a very comforting thought -...
WOODY ALLEN If you don't fail now and again, it's a sign you're playing it safe.
WOODY ALLEN In perpetrating a revolution, there are two requirements: someone or something to revolt against and...
WOODY ALLEN My one regret in life is that I'm not someone else.
WOODY ALLEN Why does man kill? He kills for food. And not only food: frequently there must be a beverage.
WOODY ALLEN It shows exactly what you can do if you're a total psychotic.
WOODY ALLEN I was thrown out of N.Y.U. my freshman year for cheating on my metaphysics final. You know, I looked...
WOODY ALLEN For a while we pondered whether to take a vacation or get a divorce. We decided that a trip to Bermu...
WOODY ALLEN Basically my wife was immature. I'd be at home in the bath and she would come in and sink my boats.
WOODY ALLEN The lion and the calf will lay down together, but the calf won't get much sleep..
WOODY ALLEN Marriage is the death of hope.
WOODY ALLEN Man consists of two parts, his mind and his body, only the body has more fun.
WOODY ALLEN I don't respond well to mellow, you know what I mean, I have a tendency to... if I get too mellow, I...
WOODY ALLEN I've never been an intellectual but I have this look.
WOODY ALLEN I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying.
WOODY ALLEN I am at two with nature.
WOODY ALLEN Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.
WOODY ALLEN If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss bank.
WOODY ALLEN I'm not afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens.
WOODY ALLEN On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done just as easily as lying down.
WOODY ALLEN I don't believe in an after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear.
WOODY ALLEN It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept better... while the ba...
WOODY ALLEN I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead -- not sick, not wounded -- dead.
WOODY ALLEN In Beverly Hills... they don't throw their garbage away. They make it into television shows.
WOODY ALLEN If my films make one more person miserable, I'll feel I have done my job.
WOODY ALLEN Capital punishment would be more effective as a preventive measure if it were administered prior to ...
WOODY ALLEN More than at any other time in history, mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and ut...
WOODY ALLEN A relationship, I think, is like a shark, you know? It has to constantly move forward or it dies. An...
WOODY ALLEN Eighty percent of success is showing up.
WOODY ALLEN What if nothing exists and we're all in somebody's dream? Or what's worse, what if only that fat guy...
WOODY ALLEN I was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love or I had smallpox.
WOODY ALLEN Sex alleviates tension. Love causes it.
WOODY ALLEN Of all the wonders of nature, a tree in summer is perhaps the most remarkable; with the possible exc...
WOODY ALLEN A fast word about oral contraception. I asked a girl to go to bed with me, she said 'no'.
WOODY ALLEN It is no secret that organized crime in America takes in over forty billion dollars a year. This is ...
WOODY ALLEN I think being funny is not anyone's first choice.
WOODY ALLEN I've often said, the only thing standing between me and greatness is me
WOODY ALLEN To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering, one must not love. But then, one suffers from not loving. ...
WOODY ALLEN Life is divided into the horrible and the miserable.
WOODY ALLEN Death is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down. The difference between sex an...
WOODY ALLEN What do I dislike about death? Must be the hours.
WOODY ALLEN How to make God laugh: Tell him your future plans.
WOODY ALLEN Innovation is the ability to see change as an opportunity - not a threat
WOODY ALLEN Just don't take any class where you have to read BEOWULF.
WOODY ALLEN Eternity is really long, especially near the end
WOODY ALLEN I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy ...
WOODY ALLEN I believe there is something out there watching us. Unfortunately, it's the government.
WOODY ALLEN Remember, if you smoke after sex you're doing it too fast.
WOODY ALLEN If you have a lot of tension and you get a headache, do what it says on the aspirin bottle: "Take tw...
WOODY ALLEN Love is the answer, but while you are waiting for the answer sex raises some pretty good questions
WOODY ALLEN A woman's appetite is twice that of a man's; her sexual desire, four times; her intelligence, eight ...
WOODY ALLEN The study of economy usually shows us that the best time for purchase was last year.
WOODY ALLEN The best way to find your perfect match is to meet love halfway.
WOODY ALLEN There are two types of people in this world, good and bad. The good sleep better, but the bad seem t...
WOODY ALLEN Organized crime in America takes in over forty billion dollars a year and spends very little on offi...
WOODY ALLEN To you I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition.
WOODY ALLEN Men learn to love the woman they are attracted to. Women learn to become attracted to the man they f...
WOODY ALLEN Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too soon.
WOODY ALLEN Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television.
WOODY ALLEN I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose.
WOODY ALLEN It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept better while the bad o...
WOODY ALLEN Tradition is the illusion of permanance.
WOODY ALLEN Some guy hit my fender the other day, and I said unto him, 'Be fruitful, and multiply'. But not in t...
WOODY ALLEN Photons have mass? I didn’t even know they were Catholic.
WOODY ALLEN To you I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition.
WOODY ALLEN I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to fin...
WOODY ALLEN I had a terrible education. I attended a school for emotionally disturbed teachers.
WOODY ALLEN He was so depressed, he tried to commit suicide by inhaling next to an Armenian.
WOODY ALLEN Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go its pretty da...
WOODY ALLEN Basically my wife was immature. I'd be at home in the bath and she'd come in and sink my boa...
WOODY ALLEN As the poet said, 'Only God can make a tree,' probably because it's so hard to figure ou...
WOODY ALLEN In Beverly Hills... they don't throw their garbage away. They make it into television shows.
WOODY ALLEN The talent for being happy is appreciating and liking what you have, instead of what you don't h...
WOODY ALLEN I think being funny is not anyone's first choice.
WOODY ALLEN I'd call him a sadistic, hippophilic necrophile, but that would be beating a dead horse.
WOODY ALLEN I don't think my parents liked me. They put a live teddy bear in my crib.
WOODY ALLEN Who bothers to cook TV dinners? I suck them frozen.
WOODY ALLEN My films are therapy for my debilitating depression. In institutions people weave baskets. I make fi...
WOODY ALLEN I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the bo...
WOODY ALLEN It's not that I'm afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens.
WOODY ALLEN The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won't get much sleep.
WOODY ALLEN I was thrown out of NYU for cheating-with the deans wife
WOODY ALLEN If my film makes one more person miserable, I've done my job
WOODY ALLEN It's not that I'm afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when it happens.
WOODY ALLEN I took a speed-reading course and read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It involves Russia.
WOODY ALLEN Whosoever shall not fall by the sword or by famine, shall fall by pestilence, so why bother shaving?
WOODY ALLEN Whosover loveth wisdom is righteous, but he that keepeth company with fowl is weird.
WOODY ALLEN The wicked at heart probably know something.
WOODY ALLEN My Lord, my Lord! What hast Thou done, lately?
WOODY ALLEN Is sex dirty? Only if it's done right.
WOODY ALLEN If my film makes one more person miserable, I've done my job.
WOODY ALLEN Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.
WOODY ALLEN I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy ...
WOODY ALLEN I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead- not sick, not wounded - dead.
WOODY ALLEN For the first year of marriage I had basically a bad attitude. I tended to place my wife underneath ...
WOODY ALLEN We were married by a reformed rabbi in Long Island. A very reformed rabbi. A Nazi.
WOODY ALLEN The only difference between sex and death is, with death you can do it alone and nobody's going to m...
WOODY ALLEN Seventy percent of success in life is showing up.
WOODY ALLEN My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.
WOODY ALLEN It is impossible to travel faster than the speed of light, and certainly not desirable, as one's hat...
WOODY ALLEN It is impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune.
WOODY ALLEN Interestingly, according to modern astronomers, space is finite. This is a very comforting thought--...
WOODY ALLEN If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name in a Swiss bank.
WOODY ALLEN If it turns out that there is a God, I don't think that he's evil. But the worst that you can say ab...
WOODY ALLEN I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to find your way aroun...
WOODY ALLEN I took a speed reading course and read 'War and Peace' in twenty minutes. It involves Russia.
WOODY ALLEN I tended to place my wife under a pedestal.
WOODY ALLEN I don't want to achieve immortality through my work... I want to achieve it through not dying.
WOODY ALLEN I can't listen to that much Wagner. I start getting the urge to conquer Poland.
WOODY ALLEN How is it possible to find meaning in a finite world, given my waist and shirt size?
WOODY ALLEN How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typ...
WOODY ALLEN His lack of education is more than compensated for by his keenly developed moral bankruptcy.
WOODY ALLEN Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it.
WOODY ALLEN As the poet said, 'Only God can make a tree' -- probably because it's so hard to figure out how to g...
WOODY ALLEN Death doesn't really worry me that much, I'm not frightened about it... I just don't want to be ther...
WOODY ALLEN More than any other time in history, mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and utter...
WOODY ALLEN You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to live to be a hundre...
WOODY ALLEN Why are our days numbered and not, say, lettered?
WOODY ALLEN When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.
WOODY ALLEN Thought: Why does man kill? He kills for food. And not only food: frequently there must be a beverag...
WOODY ALLEN The government is unresponsive to the needs of the little man. Under 5'7", it is impossible to get y...
WOODY ALLEN Students achieving Oneness will move on to Twoness.
WOODY ALLEN On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done just as easily lying down.
WOODY ALLEN Not only is there no God, but try getting a plumber on weekends.
WOODY ALLEN My education was dismal. I went to a series of schools for mentally disturbed teachers.
WOODY ALLEN Most of the time I don't have much fun. The rest of the time I don't have any fun at all.
WOODY ALLEN Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too soon.
WOODY ALLEN A ''Bay Area Bisexual'' told me I didn't quite coincide with either of her desires.
WOODY ALLEN Another good thing about being poor is that when you are seventy your children will not have declare...
WOODY ALLEN The last time I was inside a woman was when I was inside the Statue of Liberty.
WOODY ALLEN Some guy hit my fender, and I told him, 'Be fruitful and multiply,' but not in those words.
WOODY ALLEN I work for a company that makes deceptively shallow serving dishes for Chinese restaurants
WOODY ALLEN I ran into Isosceles. He had a great idea for a new triangle!
WOODY ALLEN Everytime I hear Wagner I feel like invading Poland.
WOODY ALLEN She wore a short skirt and a tight sweater and her figure described a set of parabolas that could ca...
WOODY ALLEN My brain? That´s my second favourite organ.
WOODY ALLEN I think any boycott is wrong, ... Boycotts were exactly what the Germans were doing against the Jews...
WOODY ALLEN Psychoanalyses is like music lessons, for 5 years you do not notice any progress and suddenly you ca...
WOODY ALLEN Having sex is like bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.
WOODY ALLEN As the poet said, "Only God can make a tree" - probably because it's so hard to figure out how to ge...
WOODY ALLEN Some guy hit my fender, and I told him, 'Be fruitful and multiply,' but not in those words.
WOODY ALLEN There's an old joke - um... two elderly women are at a Catskill mountain resort, and one of 'em says...
WOODY ALLEN I feel that life is divided into the horrible and the miserable. That's the two categories. The horr...
WOODY ALLEN If Jesus came back and saw what was being done in his name, he'd never stop throwing up.
WOODY ALLEN I like the rain. It washes memories off the sidewalk of life.
WOODY ALLEN It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones
slept better, [Cloquet...
WOODY ALLEN Subjectivity is objective.
WOODY ALLEN The most expensive sex is free sex
WOODY ALLEN These modern analysts! They charge so much. In my day, for five marks Freud himself would treat you....
WOODY ALLEN It is impossible to travel faster than light, and certainly not desirable, as one’s hat keeps blow...
WOODY ALLEN We laughed over it, and Hemingway punched me in the mouth.
WOODY ALLEN I think crime pays. The hours are good, you travel a lot
WOODY ALLEN Arlene and I have to get a divorce. She thinks I'm a pervert because I drank our water bed.
WOODY ALLEN You will notice that what we are aiming at when we fall in love is a very strange paradox. The parad...
WOODY ALLEN This guy goes to a psychiatrist and says, Doc, my brother’s crazy. He thinks he’s a chicken. The...
WOODY ALLEN The heart wants what it wants.
WOODY ALLEN We're all faced throughout our lives with agonizing decisions, moral choices. Some are on a grand sc...
WOODY ALLEN Chapter 1.
He adored New York City. He idolized it all out of proportion...no, make t...
WOODY ALLEN My brain? That's my second favorite organ.
WOODY ALLEN