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My roommate got a pet elephant. Then it got lost. It's in the apartment somewhere.


Stephen Wright

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My roommate got a pet elephant. Then it got lost. It's in the apartment somewhere.
STEVEN WRIGHT After school, I got a job in a shop in Hollywood and shared an apartment with a friend. I promptly l...
PATRICK DEWITT They said it got lost somewhere.
JENNIFER ALLEN Somewhere along the line, I lost the passion. I got a degree in telecommunications.
BRIDGET BRANCH One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas I'll never know.
GROUCHO MARX One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas I'll never know.
GROUCHO MARX My apartment was robbed and everything was replaced with exact replicas...I told my roommate and he ...
STEPHEN WRIGHT Eventually it just got really crazy. Less and less oxygen in the apartment.
ERIC SAN Last night somebody broke into my apartment and replaced everything with exact duplicates... When I ...
STEVEN WRIGHT One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas I'll never know.
GROUCHO MARX Did I ever tell you how I shot a wild elephant in my pyjamas? How he got into my pyjamas I'll never ...
GROUCHO MARX I got a pet monkey called Charlie Chan.
JIMI HENDRIX He used to be my roommate last year, so we got a little connection going. A little wink, a little ey...
JAMAAL LEWIS My son got a gift card for Christmas, then he lost it and he just found it yesterday. And now we're ...
BRENDA SULLIVAN They've been coming in a back apartment at night. I got a barbecue brush made of wire, and that's my...
BEVERLY LOPEZ It got lost in the shuffle.
BRANDON GRAY I got lost one time for a couple hours. It was pretty bad. I got lost in a creek, and I couldn't...
GABRIEL BASSO Then suddenly out of the gloom came a sharp hiss. 'What has it got in its pocketses?'
J.R.R. TOLKIEN A couple of plays before (his jump shots) I passed up a shot in the lane and Stephen Jackson got on ...
DANNY GRANGER I thought Wright looked really good. It looked like he got his fastball back. We didn't see that ear...
JOHN GIBBONS Me and my books, in the same apartment: like a gherkin in its vinegar.
JULIAN BARNES You've got to make the most of where you are. Then, when you're somewhere else, you've got to have t...
ANTHONY EDWARDS I think that Shakespeare had his male side and his female side extremely well developed. And this wa...
BEN KINGSLEY I got bored," he says. "Besides, you know what's creepier than walking around your dead brothers' ap...
HOLLY BLACK You've got to have steel in you somewhere.
ALAN BATES And that is how Goodwin problems were always fixed. Fix them on the surface but don't go to the root...
CECELIA AHERN You want to know how I got these scars. I swallowed my pride and then it crawled its way out of my m...
RUDY FRANCISCO Once, I lived in an apartment with a skylight in the bathroom. Every winter, it would snow through t...
JIM PARSONS In college, I got my roommate into this. It's a lot of fun. I love history. The historical aspect of...
DALE CLINE I got lost a lot, and I was a really bad waitress... I got lost on the subway.
PIPER PERABO It doesn't seem to matter how far we're down. This team's going to battle. Today we fought back and ...
JASON PHILLIPS It doesn't seem to matter how far we're down. This team's going to battle. Today we fought back and ...
PAUL PHILLIPS I was raised Catholic, and then I kind of wandered away somewhere in high-school. I never got confir...
MIKE BIRBIGLIA Somewhere along the line we lost a step from our long winning streak and never got it back. We never...
GINO GUYER I have bare bulbs hanging from my ceiling. I got this gig when I was renovating my apartment and did...
DOUGLAS WILSON I got an apartment for my family so they can move out of this one-room that they were renting out fr...
MICHELLE PHAN I just got lost in the moment,
EDITH SHAIN I just got lost in thought. . . . It was unfamiliar territory.
UNKNOWN I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
PROVERB When I was 13, I had my first job with my dad carrying shingles up to the roof. And then I got a job...
ASHTON KUTCHER I got pride in my work. I'd hate to throw that out and just go weed-eat somewhere.
GEORGE ROSS I got a chance to work with so many stalwarts from British cinema. Judi Dench, of course, who is a l...
ALI FAZAL Pet Sematary 1 is one crazy story and film.
DEYTH BANGER If I was good each week, my father would take me to a different pet store each Saturday. I had a sna...
DICK VAN PATTEN I quit wrestling in 2006 because I just got lost. My mom didn't want me wrestling. I was wonderi...
BECKY LYNCH But my roommate (former Lady Cougar Amanda Barksdale) had had surgery on her knees before. And she t...
SANCHO LYTTLE If the bees which seek the liquid oozing from the head of a lust-intoxicated elephant are driven awa...
CHANAKYA It's pretty big. It's got 41 buildings which contain 468 apartment units, and it sits on 21 acres.
DAVE PARKER My ideas come when I least expect it, so I've always got to have a studio nearby or close by som...
AKON It got lost and nobody could find it.
CLARA LAMBETH I knew we would eventually settle down because we were a bit tight in the beginning, but Stephen got...
RANDY WRIGHT And that is how the problems were always fixed. Fix them on the surface but don't go to the root, al...
CECELIA AHERN Nokia had got very cheap at 14 euros. It was being valued solely as a premium engineering stock and ...
JASON JAMES I got lost but look what I found.
IRVING BERLIN Oh, what I gotta say to youYou got loveDon’t turn it downTurn it loudLet it buildWe got a long way...
DAVE MATTHEWS BAND Things are sweeter when they're lost. I know--because once I wanted something and got it. It was the...
F. SCOTT FITZGERALD Sure, they've got a little more experience at this than I do. But you've got to start somewhere.
CHAD CAMPBELL I remember right after Carter got elected, I was sitting in my apartment in Albany, CA, on a Saturda...
BILL JOY The first time I lost my teeth was in hockey. I got them knocked out again this year.
ERIC ZASTOUPIL Just think how happy you would be if you lost everything you have right now, and then got it back ag...
FRANCES RODMAN It doesn't work if the bad guys kill his mother's uncle's friend's neighbor's pet dog. You've got to...
STEVEN SEAGAL It appears that somebody was burning trash somewhere, a big brush pile, and the fire got away.
JAMES WADE I got fame and fortune, and I lost my sense of reasoning.
LITTLE RICHARD MSNBC got some very good people. They've got a good-looking set. All They're first-class. So...
BRIT HUME They float, they all float... and when you're down here with me, fat boy, you'll float too.
STEPHEN KING I have a switch in my apartment that doesn't do anything. Every once in a while I turn it on and off...
STEPHEN WRIGHT There'a a phrase, "the elephant in the living room", which purports to describe what it's like to li...
STEPHEN KING My bottom is so big it's got its own gravitational field.
CAROL VORDERMAN We've got to start somewhere. I want to see something in place.
ASSEMBLYWOMAN LESLIE We've got to start somewhere. I want to see something in place.
ASSEMBLYWOMAN SHEILA LESLIE I kind of gave it away at the bottom of the pitch. I hit a bump, and got back, but lost my line.
KITT FLOWERS 'Each One Lost' I wrote the day after I got home. My week in Afghanistan was a very short tr...
BRUCE COCKBURN Oops! . . . I did it again. I played with your heart, got lost in the game,
BRITNEY SPEARS It wouldn't surprise me if he got somewhere between $2.5 and $3 million.
WILLIAM ROSS I loved Stephen Wright, and I loved Mitch Hedberg, but they seemed like geniuses you could never emu...
ANTHONY JESELNIK Six mnths frm today, I got into an accident; My heart came out of my ribs and I lost it. Doctors wer...
MONIKA SINGH They got lost in the $212 million-Bill Krause story.
CRAIG COHOON The accent got lost somewhere along the way. I'm a little embarrassed about it. When I arrived in LA...
MARTIN HENDERSON When you have got an elephant by the hind legs and he is trying to run away, it's best to let hi...
ABRAHAM LINCOLN One of the culprits in that episode, failing to support Greg, [Senator] Stephen Conroy after the nex...
MARK LATHAM I fell for a Spanish woman and followed her to Spain. We got married there, and then I got involved ...
WHIT STILLMAN I knew as soon as I got my fouls, it got them energized. Then they just really went at us inside.
EREK HANSEN When they got there, they noticed (Antone) was inside his apartment and was stabbing something with ...
DETECTIVE SAM BAILEY It's a simple matter. Two guys got into an argument and it resulted in a fight, and the deceased los...
BILL VEST You lost your son, but reality he is alive, my father I lost him I know on 99% he is dead if this is...
DEYTH BANGER When I was little, I got to pick my hair ribbon from my mother's collection that hung over her d...
ALEXANDRA STODDARD When we got there, our luggage got lost and our hotel was bad. Everything was awful. When we finally...
LAUREN HERRING When the city got the cemetery, we didn't get the old records — they got lost.
CLIFF EDWARDS When the city got the cemetery, we didn't get the old records — they got lost.
CLIFF EDWARDS I've got to find me somewhere else to live.
CAROLYN WALKER He got some kind of energy boost from somewhere.
KORVOTNEY BARBER It did feel a bit special all along. I think it?s got some of my best melodies in it. It?s the only ...
ANDREW WEBBER It did feel a bit special all along. I think it?s got some of my best melodies in it. It?s the only ...
ANDREW LLOYD WEBBER My favorite show tune has got to be Stephen Sondheim's 'I Remember Sky.' It's probab...
LAURA BENANTI Hello. My name is Henry. I am a fan. Somewhere in the late 1980s’, I got tired of people telling m...
HENRY JENKINS For the first time, I lived alone... in a luxury apartment on Sunset Strip. For a few days I loved t...
PATTY DUKE It's still a work in progress. Not having a preseason game hurt us. We've got a bunch of kids who ca...
JEFF FINCH I had it figured out who needed to finish where, and I got it wrong. I lost a car somewhere and figu...
KIRK SHELMERDINE I got a call on my way to practice this morning, and it took me about 4 hours to get here because I ...
DONALD MACLEAN I no longer want reminders of what was, what got broken, what got lost, what got wasted.
JOAN DIDION

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ALAN WRIGHT We continue to face logistical issues in getting fuel to Pilot Travel Centers and some short-term in...
ALAN WRIGHT A tall officer was able to grab his ankles. He was about one or two steps from getting away.
ALAN WRIGHT Refineries in Texas did not take a direct hit from Rita, but the energy grids in that area were effe...
ALAN WRIGHT It is unclear when refining capacity will be restored, but it is estimated these refineries will be ...
ALAN WRIGHT Prices on the wholesale market have been up sharply the past several days. As a retailer, we have fi...
ALAN WRIGHT Man has been adjudged a social animal.
FRANCES WRIGHT Religion may be defined thus: a belief in, and homage rendered to, existences unseen and causes unkn...
FRANCES WRIGHT If they exert it not for good, they will for evil; if they advance not knowledge, they will perpetua...
FRANCES WRIGHT Pets, like their owners, tend to expand a little over the Christmas period.
FRANCES WRIGHT Look into the nature of things. Search out the grounds of your opinions, the for and against.
FRANCES WRIGHT It will appear evident upon attentive consideration that equality of intellectual and physical advan...
FRANCES WRIGHT He who lives in the single exercise of his mental faculties, however usefully or curiously directed,...
FRANCES WRIGHT The sciences have ever been the surest guides to virtue.
FRANCES WRIGHT It is in vain that we would circumscribe the power of one half of our race, and that half by far the...
FRANCES WRIGHT