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Now, today is the day we honor, of course, the Presidents, ranging from George Washington, who couldn't tell a lie, to George Bush, who couldn't tell the truth, to Bill Clinton, who couldn't tell the difference.


Jay Leno

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I've always had a problem with people who couldn't tell the truth or admit a mistake and say...
BURT BACHARACH When I was younger, coming up in this industry, I was 17, 18 years old. You couldn't tell me Bey...
LIL MAMA Writing headlines is a specialty - there are outstanding writers who will tell you they couldn't...
BILL WALSH I know it really sounds cheesy, but I did feel a duty to try to tell the stories of people who could...
ADAM JOHNSON I couldn't hold it together today. George Clooney asked me if I was OK, and I practically collap...
CANDICE BERGEN During President George W. Bush's two terms, you couldn't drive far without seeing a particu...
MONICA CROWLEY I've met Bill Clinton, Obama a couple of times... I certainly didn't meet George Bush, and w...
DAVID CROSBY I couldn't tell if any frames were removed. Seen as a whole it shows that I have seen. Seeing yo...
ABRAHAM ZAPRUDER I couldn't spell anything. I couldn't remember anything, but I could go to a movie and I kne...
QUENTIN TARANTINO I've met a handful of presidents, from Jimmy Carter to Bill Clinton to George Bush to Barack Oba...
JIMMIE JOHNSON The problem was the mask... couldn't be taken off... so much time has been on my face...
DEYTH BANGER There was a writer in the '20s called Christopher Morley, who I remember a little bit of, who ha...
JACK VANCE Well, I must tell you I write the scripts very close to the bone. So I'm writing episode seven n...
AARON SORKIN I was in a form of a prison: not necessarily with bars, but I was locked to that machine three days ...
GRIZZ CHAPMAN To tell the truth, I'd join a band with John Lennon any day, but I couldn't join a band with...
GEORGE HARRISON People don't really understand who I am. They always think that I'm very dark or depressed, ...
ZOLA JESUS There isn't a person on Earth who couldn't use a connection with nature.
NALINI NADKARNI If I couldn't read, I couldn't live.
DOUGLAS SIRK I couldn't open up a magazine, you couldn't read a newspaper, you couldn't turn on the T...
MORGAN SPURLOCK You couldn't take football away from me, you couldn't take acting away from me.
DOUGRAY SCOTT Now, I'll tell you something that might interest you. Casino Royale was the first Bond book that...
VAL GUEST I didn't want wrestling anymore; I wanted to not want it. But I couldn't get a job anywhere,...
T. J. PERKINS People didn't know where they could trade. When everybody owes each other IOUs that can be in mu...
PATRICK M. BYRNE Overall, we had about 50 meetings where the brothers would say that I couldn't do any solo recor...
SAMMY HAGAR Al Gore wanted to tell people what they could listen to and what they couldn't, what they could ...
GLENN DANZIG If a farmer calls me to a sick animal, he couldn't care less if I were George Bernard Shaw.
JAMES HERRIOT If you ask me who the members of the Rolling Stones or Led Zep or the Clash were, I'd be able to...
DAVE GAHAN When I was 25, I was in a show called 'Bajour,' and I was going to leave the show because I ...
PAUL SORVINO We have been through a period where we see power leaching away from Washington. Who is more importan...
PETER JENNINGS I couldn't tell you in any detail how my computer works. I use it with a layer of automation.
CONRAD WOLFRAM I couldn't kill a chicken, I couldn't kill a cow - I was a vegetarian too at that time - so ...
ELLEN BURSTYN You just couldn't be in George Romney's presence without some of his goodness and integrity ...
TAGG ROMNEY I had two managers who couldn't stand each other. I had a promoter, Don King, who couldn't g...
GERRY COONEY Didn't George Washington say, 'He who controls Afghanistan will carry New Jersey?'
GORE VIDAL I saw George Bush at a benefit concert actually waving at Stevie Wonder. Someone had to tell him ...
ANNE ROBINSON I decided that if the police couldn't catch the gangsters, I'd create a fellow who could.
CHESTER GOULD The entire time we playing, the current had gently moved us downstream with the tide. We were drifti...
CRAIG GROESCHEL Some actors couldn't figure out how to withstand the constant rejection. They couldn't see t...
HARRISON FORD I have never met a dog I couldn't help; however, I have met humans who weren't willing to ch...
CESAR MILLAN I couldn't wait to get on the ice. I couldn't wait to get to practice. As a kid, I couldn...
BOBBY ORR It troubled me that we had these reports of torture of detainees, we had people jailed at Guantanamo...
ERIK LARSON I wanted to wash off the experience of Africa but obviously I couldn't because that's who I ...
ADEWALE AKINNUOYE-AGBAJE If you have 130 people on set, all with different opinions, sometimes it's going to kick off. Th...
ANEURIN BARNARD Are you taking us to the beach?" - Dan Cahill
JUDE WATSON O Father, console them and please spare our country from that terrible disaster, not because we are ...
DIET EMAN Before the arrival of the Credit Union, people who were from the poor background or a working class ...
JOHN HUME All the rappers in rave music are like the sloppy seconds of rappers who couldn't make it.
WATKIN TUDOR JONES I couldn't wait to be, you know, a Black Panther. Of course they wouldn't let me join.
DAVID ALAN GRIER I couldn't care less who is mad at me as long as the entrepreneur comes out ahead.
RON CONWAY Everyone was born with thought and dream...after a lot of time they just gave up. The life went upon...
DEYTH BANGER I've yet to meet somebody who said, 'Your stories are so revolting I couldn't read them....
IAN MCEWAN I am the flower child who will not wilt. You couldn't have asked for anything more.
ANNIE GOLDEN When The Who first started, we were playing blues, and I dug the blues and I knew what I was suppose...
PETE TOWNSHEND Washington couldn't tell a lie, Nixon couldn't tell the truth, and Reagan couldn't tell the differen...
MORT SAHL On YouTube you can tell what countries are watching and I've definitely noted a strong Australia...
IMOGEN HEAP If you young fellows were wise, the devil couldn't do anything to you, but since you aren't ...
MARTIN LUTHER In this country, it doesn't make any difference where you were born. It doesn't make any dif...
ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER It looks ancient," - Amy Cahill
JUDE WATSON 'The Exorcist' is absolutely my favorite horror film, and I watched it when I was, like, sev...
ODETTE ANNABLE It's just a blessing from above. I can't stress that enough, because I don't feel like i...
D'BRICKASHAW FERGUSON I once tried to write a novel about revenge. It's the only book I didn't finish. I couldn...
MAEVE BINCHY Find a way and make it happen: I've always been the type of person who couldn't rest until I...
JOY MANGANO Couldn't start the morning without caffeine.
GINNIFER GOODWIN I couldn't have known 'Crank' was going to be published, let alone become a big hit. Tha...
ELLEN HOPKINS I was a lousy nun. I couldn't do it. I couldn't find God. It wasn't suitable for me. It ...
KAREN ARMSTRONG When I first came up, the bullpen was pretty much where they put the guys who couldn't start.
DENNIS ECKERSLEY I couldn't live if I wasn't a designer.
BETSEY JOHNSON A big producer offered me the part of the pretty girl that waits at home for the guy, and I couldn&#...
BRIE LARSON If I couldn't see the colors, now that would be a problem.
IM DONG-HYUN Hillary Clinton could say she was a woman and running for president. And Sarah Palin could say she w...
PAUL MOONEY I don't think that we necessarily lie. I mean, we make our living by pretending that we're s...
ALBERT FINNEY I tell people to look at me and understand that everybody first told me that I couldn't be a 6-f...
MAGIC JOHNSON I was asked to act when I couldn't act. I was asked to sing 'Funny Face' when I couldn&#...
AUDREY HEPBURN I couldn't kill a fly.
VERA MILES I always imagine a good leader is surrounded by people who call their mothers at the end of the day ...
JAMES ALTUCHER I don't worry anymore about where's the big hangout Tuesday night, Friday. Couldn't tell...
BRETT FAVRE If some guys couldn't stand the heat, then they didn't belong in the major leagues. I don...
DICK WILLIAMS I did a picture called 'Lovely, Still' with Ellen Burstyn, We screened it to the AARP people...
MARTIN LANDAU I couldn't stand the idea of bloodshed, casualties.
EDUARD SHEVARDNADZE For those who don't like Dave Letterman, there's Jay Leno; and for those who like neither, t...
TOM SHALES We're leaving the House to people who either were born with a silver spoon in their mouth... or ...
JERRY LEWIS I met Gerald Ford. I met Richard Nixon. I met Jimmy Carter. I met Dwight Eisenhower when he was a ge...
PETE ROSE I couldn't join a party that, frankly, tolerates members who are bigots for one thing, homophobe...
RON REAGAN Management interests me at some stage in my life, I have always said that. When that will be I reall...
ALAN SHEARER I don't tell Rupert Murdoch who to endorse.
ROGER AILES I really found this campaign odious. I couldn't get up for it. The quality of the candidates and...
JACK GERMOND I used to hear a lot that all I could do was hit a serve, I couldn't volley, I can't hit a b...
ANDY RODDICK I couldn't sit in a chair in an office all day.
DANNY MEYER That's what's so great about television. You're able to tell this long story, where you ...
AARON PAUL I believe I've always been a big believer in equality. No one has ever been able to tell me I co...
ANNE HATHAWAY The '80s were a time of technical wonder in filmmaking; unfortunately, some colleges didn't ...
ERIC STOLTZ It SMELLS ancient," - Dan Cahill
JUDE WATSON Palm trees were fanned by a warm, light breeze, and they rolled down their windows to smell the sea.
JUDE WATSON I really admire people who have long-distance relationships. It's an incredible achievement. I c...
RITA ORA We?ll tell Islander East that the Long Island Sound is not the Wild West, ... The costs for the stat...
GINA MCCARTHY People don't want just vanilla. They want 31 flavors. I couldn't do what Rihanna does. I cou...
KATY PERRY This disease leaves people bedridden. I've gone through phases where I couldn't roll over in...
LAURA HILLENBRAND I couldn't hope to be in anything better than 'Misfits.' The reaction from fans has been...
LAUREN SOCHA You want a friend who's going to tell you the truth. That's what it's about. If you don&...
DONALD DRIVER I knew I couldn't solve it. Because I couldn't figure out what made her drink when things we...
DAVID GEST

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JAY LENO Beverly Hills.
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flooding, severe thunderstorms tea...
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MARK LENO Ah! What is man? Wherefore does he why? Whence did he whence? Whither is he withering?
DAN LENO Do what we know is in our hearts, ... Make sure all California families will have the same protectio...
MARK LENO It's a significant accomplishment. It was a thing of beauty,
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MARK LENO I couldn't do anything but keep going. It says something for being a little bit tenacious,
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MARK LENO I trust that my colleagues are searching their hearts and reading the constitution as they decide th...
MARK LENO We are so very close, ... It would be very disappointing for this body not to be able to stand up fo...
MARK LENO It's just the beginning.
MARK LENO I think there's a better way to approach many of these issues,
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MARK LENO No legislative body has ever passed such a measure. It would be historic,
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MARK LENO They are considered no different than married couples with regards to responsibility for children,
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MARK LENO The Legislature has done the hard work of picking up the issue of the day, holding public hearings, ...
MARK LENO The issue doesn't go away, ... Support will only increase. The more the public hears about same-sex ...
MARK LENO Margita Thompson has said all kinds of things in the past that have proven not to be true, ... I wil...
MARK LENO It would be highly unusual and a direct insult to the proponents of this bill and the many millions ...
MARK LENO He cannot veto the bill until it gets to his desk, ... It may not get there for a couple more weeks ...
MARK LENO [After first ducking the issue on Wednesday, Schwarzenegger surprised lawmakers with his statement.]...
MARK LENO I believe this is a governor who is a libertarian,
MARK LENO Today represents another milestone toward the fulfillment of the American dream for thousands of les...
MARK LENO Do what we know is in our hearts, ... Make sure all Californians, all California's children and fami...
MARK LENO I believe this is a governor who at his core is a libertarian on issues of social matters, ... and t...
MARK LENO The moment I started reading, I was no longer in my bedroom, no longer sad, no longer even myself.
KATRINA LENO It's what everybody is waiting for. Everybody is excited about the World Cup and I hope it gets thin...
LENO RIVERA