"Oh you want to have your cake and eat it too?" Darn right, what good is cake if you can't eat it ?

All you have to know about celery is that it's made up of 95% water, and it's 100% not pizza.

I am on a seafood diet. I see food, and I eat it.

In the morning I can't eat, I'm thinking of you. In the evening I can't eat, I'm thinking of you. In the night I can't sleep.. I'm so hungry!

Math: the only place where you have to figure out the ratio of yellow candy to blue candy when all you're thinking about is eating them.

My grandpa's car is so old; when he parked in front of a museum, they towed his car inside the museum.