"Oh you want to have your cake and eat it too?" Darn right, what good is cake if you can't eat it ?


Anonymous

  Email Quote to Friends   Link to Quote   Create Short URL  Publish Text About This Quote   Share on Facebook, Twitter, and more
  See Recommended Quotes For You

Related

Would ye both eat your cake and have your cake?This is commonly misquotes as You can't have you're c...
JOHN HEYWOOD
Would ye both eat your cake and have your cake?
This is commonly misquotes as You can't ha...
JOHN HEYWOOD
Would ye both eat your cake and have your cake?"This is commonly misquotes as "You can't have you're...
JOHN HEYWOOD
You can't have your cake and eat it too
PROVERB
You can't have your cake and eat it too. Let them eat croissants.
BRIAN SPELLMAN
If you can have your cake and eat it too, why not try to do both.
JACK MINTZ
You cannot eat your cake and have it.
JAMES JOYCE
They clearly want to have their cake and eat it, too.
SCOTT COZZA
You Can never eat your cake and still have it
FRANCIS MATHEW
I suppose I wanted to have my cake and eat it.
But then again, what were you going to do with y...
MARIAN KEYES
Charitable remainder trusts are the estate planning tool that let you have your cake and eat it, too...
MARCEE YAGER
Would ye both eat your cake and have your cake?
JOHN HEYWOOD
You can walk away from your mistakes.You can turn your back on what you do.Just a little smile is al...
BILLY JOEL
The question is, can they have their cake and eat it too?
CARL TOBIAS
Why have a cake if I can't eat it?
VANNA BONTA
Russia is saying you can't have your cake and eat it. If you're in the Russian sphere of influence, ...
CHRIS WEAFER
The dream is to have it all. Who says you can't have your cake and eat it too? Live this life, t...
PAUL WALKER
If you don't cut the cake in pieces and just eat the whole cake, then you only had one piece.
ANONYMOUS
That's what you would do with untold power? Eat cake?
DESIREE WILLIAMS
This is a start. It's like eating a piece of cake. There's a whole cake out there to eat. We ate one...
DENNIS NORTHCUTT
Wouldst thou both eat thy cake and have it?
GEORGE HERBERT
We've been able to have our cake and eat it, too. Every song, every T-shirt, is absolutely a pure ex...
TOM MORELLO
I think to eat cake is very good for us, but it's the size of the slice and how often you have i...
MARY BERRY
Love is like a good cake; you never know when it's coming, but you'd better eat it when it does!
C. JOYBELL C.
The Pumpkins love rock-and-roll, we absolutely love it, but we also think it's a flatulent, ego-serv...
BILLY CORGAN
If the people have no bread, let them eat cake.
MARIE ANTOINETTE
‘Cause, "Cake or death?" That's a pretty easy question. Anyone could answer that."Cake or deat...
EDDIE IZZARD
Let them eat cake.
MARIE ANTOINETTE
You don't have to eat the entire turd to know that it's not a crab cake.
ORSON SCOTT CARD
‘Cause, "Cake or death?" That's a pretty easy question. Anyone could answer that.
"Cake or dea...
EDDIE IZZARD
[Neither does Greg Patent, author of] Baking in America ... If you want cakey, eat chocolate cake. B...
HOUGHTON MIFFLIN
First, I eat healthy; it comes from the inside out. If you eat right, your skin, hair, nails will lo...
KATE DEL CASTILLO
It is what it is, it is what you make it.
JAMES DURBIN
Let them eat accurately labelled cake.
DAVE PELL
[Neither does Greg Patent, author of] Baking in America ... If you want cakey, eat chocolate cake. B...
HOUGHTON MIFFLIN
You want to have a good cake? Get two engineers to build it.
ALLISON SCHROEDER
The most dangerous food to eat is a wedding cake.
PROVERB
When you're stressed, you eat ice cream, cake, chocolate and sweets. Why? Because stressed spelled b...
ANONYMOUS
I guess I'd like to have my cake and eat it, too. I want to be known for having a recognizable s...
CLIFF MARTINEZ
If I was made of cake I'd eat myself before somebody else could.
EMMA DONOGHUE
I eat cake because it's someone's birthday somewhere today.
ANONYMOUS
I eat eight times a day. But it's what my intake is. I eat all the time, but it's good stuff...
BILLY MAGNUSSEN
He wants to make the tax cuts permanent that reduces income to the government while we're in war whi...
DAVE ROBERTS
People have often asked me whether what I know about love has spoiled it for me. And I just simply s...
HELEN FISHER
Having diabetes doesn't mean that you can never enjoy a piece of cake or pie. It does mean that you ...
SUSAN WALKER
But how will I eat cake if my head is over there, and my hands are over here?
MARIE ANTOINETTE
A cake is a very good test of an oven: if it browns too much on one side and not on the other, it...
DELIA SMITH
They?re so darn close to spawning that, if you caught one now, would you eat it?
DAVID PEASE
Much of the ill-tempered railing against women that has characterized the popular writing of the las...
MARGARET MEAD
Bilingualism lets you have your cake and eat it. The new language opens the doors to the best jobs i...
DAVID CRYSTAL
When someone asks if you'd like cake or pie, why not say you want cake and pie?
LISA LOEB
Birthdays are God’s way of telling us to eat more chocolate cake.
FEMALE IMAGINATION
I like quinoa. I like gingerbread. I feel they should be kept separate. I'm not in favor of this...
BEE WILSON
You cannot simultaneously want to eat a chocolate cake every day in front of the TV and want to be s...
MALTI BHOJWANI
Angel food cake could never be the food legitimate angels eat, because in heaven you can eat steak a...
ALLISON ROBICELLI
It can be hard just trying to remember that you can't eat certain things, like when someone brings i...
MARSHA COHEN
Why do you eat? Why to sleep? If you cant be a trustworthy person, cant be a true lover, cant be a g...
WRITER GRADED
Cake is happiness! If you know the way of the cake, you know the way of happiness! If you have a cak...
C. JOYBELL C.
If you're going to lick the icing off somebody else's cake you won't be nourished and it won't do yo...
EMILY CARR
If you're going to lick the icing off somebody else's cake you won't be nourished and it won't do yo...
EMILY CARR
How I wished all my problems were just a piece of cake. Eat it entirely and then it's all gone.
JOE MARI FADRIGALAN
My favourite place to eat is my grandma's kitchen. She makes a mean crab cake.
KARLIE KLOSS
I've always thought with relationships, that it's more about what you bring to the table than what y...
ANJELICA HUSTON
The best free market laboratory I know of is DFW, where we slug it out with a long list of carriers,...
GERARD ARPEY
Naomi at TipsyCake is doing the cake, and it should be amazing."
"Mmm, cake. What kind of cake?...
STACEY BALLIS
My favourite food is cake.
What kind of cake?
It doesn't matter. All cake.
JENNY HAN
I eat cake every day because somewhere out there it's someone's birthday and I like to celebrate.
ANONYMOUS
If you're hungry, you know that you want to eat. You don't know what's on the menu - per...
CARLES PUIGDEMONT
When you eat a carrot that is nothing but carrot it zooms through your system as a carrot. When you ...
CATHY GUISEWITE
Making your Christmas cake in September is perfect, as too fresh a cake crumbles when cut.
MARY BERRY
I love eating chocolate cake and ice cream after a show. I almost justify it in my mind as, 'You...
STEVEN WRIGHT
Unpredictability means what it means. I don't know how you define it. It is what it is.
MICHAEL KEATON
If your health is your wealth and we are what we eat... eat good food and enjoy life !
GARY LEWIS MCCRACKEN
You can't eat your friends and have them too.
BUDD SCHULBERG
Change is necessary, stoppin's the adversary, got my cake I'm eatin' it too you could have the cherr...
DEDRICK D. L. PITTER
If you're trying to create a company, it's like baking a cake. You have to have all the ingr...
ELON MUSK
Can you taste it Bruce? Can you taste the filth, the dirt, the oily blackness of that fossil fuel in...
IRVINE WELSH
Honestly, I just go to restaurants to eat so I won't die. If there was a pill I could take in Ja...
STEVEN WRIGHT
I have the biggest sweet tooth! You name it, I will eat it. My all-time favorite is my mother's ...
MICHAEL STRAHAN
Too many people show too little concern against the person fake for they themselves might have too m...
ANUJ SOMANY
Writing's a lot like cooking. Sometimes the cake won't rise, no matter what you do, and every now an...
NEIL GAIMAN
What difference does it make if you brush your teeth with it or eat it?
BARBARA ROBINSON
Like a ten-ton cake, the world is more than anyone can eat at one sitting. Select a piece of it, the...
SAMUEL M SILVER
But I'm really enjoying my retirement. I get to sleep in every day. I do crossword puzzles and eat c...
DEREK LANDY
Someone needs your actions to inspire his actions. Never forget, your little broken cake is someone�...
ISRAELMORE AYIVOR
You can't eat your friends and have them too.
BUDD SCHULBERG
That cake tasted good. But the cake in the garbage tasted better. It was the best cake I ever ate.
LORETTA ELLSWORTH
Scientifically, it has been proven that after three bites, your palate has been satisfied. It doesn&...
MIREILLE GUILIANO
You know you are getting old when the candles on your birthday cake start to cost more than the cake...
ANONYMOUS
If you wait for a cake to be given to you so you will be happy- then you will be happy when someone ...
C. JOYBELL C.
A calorie is a calorie and even if it's a good calorie, it still will help you put on weight if you ...
DR. CAROLINE APOVIAN
Let's just say you may regret that second piece of cake.'
Oh my God. Regret cake? Whatever was...
RACHEL HAWKINS
If you are under the illusion that you can start a business and run it at your life's schedule, ...
ROBERT HERJAVEC
If you want to eat well in England, eat three breakfasts.
W. SOMERSET MAUGHAM
If you want to change the way you eat, you need to change your environment.
BETHANY THAYER
If you want to find something with an equation, you must start thinking like a person who have it.
DEYTH BANGER
Tonight we wanted to eat the cake, drink the punch and break the punch bowl. Last week, we ate the c...
GREGG BAHEN
you know what the best kind of organic certification would be? make an unannounced visit to a farm a...
MICHAEL POLLAN
‎'Having' Your Cake....a little perverted....

'Eating' it too.....a lot perverted!
JOSH STERN
Eat your heart out. Oh, wait. You can’t. It’s not organic.
SUSAN ELIZABETH PHILLIPS

More Anonymous

Animals are human just like us in a different shape and form so do not abuse them.
ANONYMOUS ANONYMOUS
You don't have to touch someone to love them, It's not in the kiss, It's in the times you don't kiss...
ANONYMOUS ANONYMOUS
Glory be to Him who changes others and remains Himself unchanged!
ANONYMOUS
Beloved, let us love one another, because love is from God; everyone one who loves is born of God an...
ANONYMOUS
May the God who gives endurance and encouragement
give you a spirit of unity among yourselves ...
ANONYMOUS
Some men are born with cold feet; some acquire cold feet; and some have cold feet thrust upon them.
ANONYMOUS
Epperson's law: When a man says it's a silly, childish game, it's probably something his wife can be...
ANONYMOUS
Marriage is like a violin. After the music is over, you still have the strings.
ANONYMOUS
Marriage is like a hot bath. Once you get used to it, it's not so hot.
ANONYMOUS
Marriage is like a box of chocolates. You have to squeeze a few bottoms to make sure you like what y...
ANONYMOUS
Marriage is bliss. Ignorance is bliss. Ergo...
ANONYMOUS
Marriage is a romance in which the hero dies in the first chapter.
ANONYMOUS
It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks. She's not marrying the best man.
ANONYMOUS
He believes that marriage and a career don't mix. So after the wedding he plans to quit his job.
ANONYMOUS
All marriages are happy. It's living together afterwards that is difficult.
ANONYMOUS
A little girl at the wedding afterwards asked her mother why the bride changed her mind. "What do yo...
ANONYMOUS
A good marriage is like a casserole, only those responsible for it really know what goes in it.
ANONYMOUS
Marital Freedom: The liberty that allows a husband to do exactly that which his wife pleases.
ANONYMOUS
Every mother generally hopes that her daughter will snag a better husband than she managed to do...b...
ANONYMOUS
Compromise: An amiable arrangement between husband and wife whereby they agree to let her have her o...
ANONYMOUS
Be tolerant of the human race. Your whole family belongs to it -- and some of your spouse's family d...
ANONYMOUS
The most expensive wedding usually ends with the quickest divorce.
ANONYMOUS
Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering.
ANONYMOUS
Leadership is the ability to hide your panic from others.
ANONYMOUS
An expert knows all the answers -- if you ask the right questions.
ANONYMOUS
Time cuts down all, Both great and small.
ANONYMOUS
Few cases of eyestrain have been developed by looking on the bright side of things.
ANONYMOUS
Be an optimist -- at least until they start moving animals in pairs to Cape Canaveral.
ANONYMOUS
Opportunity may knock only once, but temptation leans on the doorbell. •Anonymous Many an o...
ANONYMOUS
Some of the smallest situations are the biggest to some people.
ANONYMOUS
Man endures pain as an undeserved punishment; woman accepts it as a natural heritage.
ANONYMOUS
Defeat may test you; it need not stop you. If at first you don't succeed, try another way. For eve...
ANONYMOUS
Anarchy - it's not the law, it's just a good idea.
ANONYMOUS
Marriage is the only war in which you sleep with the enemy.
ANONYMOUS
A friend is one to whom you can pour out the contents of your heart, chaff and grain alike. Knowin...
ANONYMOUS
Friendship is a living thing that lasts only as long as it is nourished with kindness, empathy and u...
ANONYMOUS
She is clothed in strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future.
ANONYMOUS
many women do noble things, but you surpass them all. charm is deceptive, beauty is fleeting; but a ...
ANONYMOUS
Lady Wisdom will be your close friend; and Brother Knowledge will be your pleasant companion.
ANONYMOUS
When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom.
ANONYMOUS
It's never too late to have a happy childhood.
ANONYMOUS
Happiness is in the heart, not in the circumstances.
ANONYMOUS
Happiness is possible only when one is busy. The body must toil, the mind must be occupied, and the ...
ANONYMOUS
Happiness is like jam. You can't spread even a little without getting some on yourself.
ANONYMOUS
Happiness is the overcoming of not unknown obstacles toward a known goal.
ANONYMOUS
Happiness seems to be the result of something happening — inactivity is not very exhilarating.
ANONYMOUS
Happiness is not pleasure, it's victory.
ANONYMOUS
Happiness is often the result of being too busy to be miserable.
ANONYMOUS
Happiness is the art of never holding in your mind the memory of any unpleasant thing that has passe...
ANONYMOUS
Happiness is not given but exchanged.
ANONYMOUS
Happiness is not a matter of good fortune or worldly possessions. It's a mental attitude. It comes f...
ANONYMOUS
If happiness could be brought, few of us could pay the price.
ANONYMOUS
Happiness is like a butterfly. The more you chase it, the more it eludes you. But if you turn your a...
ANONYMOUS
So live that your memories will be part of your happiness.
ANONYMOUS
Happiness consists in activity; such as the constitution of our nature; it is a running stream, and ...
ANONYMOUS
Happiness will never come to those who fail to appreciate what they already have.
ANONYMOUS
Happiness is not always measured in smiles.
ANONYMOUS
Happiness lies in our own backyard, but it's probably well hidden by crabgrass.
ANONYMOUS
Happiness comes through doors you didn't even know you left open.
ANONYMOUS
The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits.
ANONYMOUS
Every tomorrow has two handles. We can take hold of it by the handle of anxiety, or by the handle ...
ANONYMOUS
Faith is like electricity. You can't see it, but you can see the light.
ANONYMOUS
To reprove small faults within due vehemence, is as absurd as if a man should take a great hammer to...
ANONYMOUS
My friend, why have you drifted so far away? All motion is relative, maybe it is you who have moved ...
ANONYMOUS
The happiest business in all the world is that of making friends, And no investment on the street pa...
ANONYMOUS
Flattery looks like friendship, just like a wolf looks like a dog.
ANONYMOUS
Remember that the faith that moves mountains always carries a pick.
ANONYMOUS
When you laugh, be sure to laugh at what people do and not at what people are.
ANONYMOUS
The sound of a kiss is much softer than that of a cannon - but it's echo lasts a great deal longer.
ANONYMOUS
Religion is like a blind man looking in a black room for a black cat that isn't there, and finding i...
ANONYMOUS
A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.
ANONYMOUS
When life throws a lemon at you, you throw it straight back at life and miss completely. That's my l...
ANONYMOUS
Education is what remains after one has forgotten what one has learned in school.
ANONYMOUS
Aging is a matter of mind. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.
ANONYMOUS
I love the Lord, for he heard my voice; he heard my cry for mercy. Because he turned his ear to me, ...
ANONYMOUS
تبسمك في وجه أخيك صدقة، وأمرك بالمعروف صدقة ونهيك عن ال...
ANONYMOUS
The first men to be created and formed were called the Sorcerer of Fatal Laughter, the Sorcerer of N...
ANONYMOUS
Come unto me, all ye that labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you...
ANONYMOUS
And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.
ANONYMOUS
Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for ...
ANONYMOUS
Anyone who is having troubles should pray. Anyone who is happy should sing praises. Anyone who is si...
ANONYMOUS
I don't mean to brag, but I put together a puzzle in 1 day and the box said 2-4 years.
ANONYMOUS
Maybe if we all sit extremely still, Monday won't be able to see us.
ANONYMOUS
Store front sign: Entire store on sale, everything $1 or more.
ANONYMOUS
If there is a "WILL", there are 500 relatives.
ANONYMOUS
Why didn't Bruce Willis play the lead role in Titanic? He would have saved everyone.
ANONYMOUS
I'm looking to buy a new boomerang, how can I throw the old one out?
ANONYMOUS
My mind not only wanders, sometimes it leaves completely!
ANONYMOUS
If you can't find your better half, try finding your better two quarters.
ANONYMOUS
Car service: If it ain't broke, we'll break it.
ANONYMOUS
It's easy to stop smoking. I stopped smoking today with no problems. I also stopped yesterday too,...
ANONYMOUS
One day my wife's credit card got stolen.. what a relief it was to find that the thief spends less t...
ANONYMOUS
The first five days after the weekend are always the hardest.
ANONYMOUS
In my house dirty dishes are like rabbits, they keep multiplying.
ANONYMOUS
How do you get a Kleenex to dance?
Put a little boogy in it!
ANONYMOUS
For you, I would swim across the ocean. LOL, just kidding, there are sharks in there.
ANONYMOUS
Why does Chuck Norris' calendar go directly from March 31 to April 2nd? Nobody fools Chuck Norris!
ANONYMOUS
I am on a 20 day diet, so far I've lost 10 days.
ANONYMOUS
Stop the earth from spinning, I want to get off!
ANONYMOUS
If you don't like me, remember it's mind over matter. I don't mind and you don't matter.
ANONYMOUS
The last thing that blew my mind was the wind.
ANONYMOUS
Why do you always see lightning first and hear the thunder later? Because your eyes are in front of...
ANONYMOUS
Instead of calling it the John I'm going to start calling my bathroom the Jim. That way I can say I ...
ANONYMOUS
Stupidity is far more fascinating than intelligence, after all intelligence has it's limits.
ANONYMOUS
Everyone should believe in something. I believe I should be on a beach drinking margaritas.
ANONYMOUS
My kitchen cleaner says "for a clean kitchen" so I can't use it, mine is dirty.
ANONYMOUS
Of course I'm in shape. Round is a shape.
ANONYMOUS
Everything happening now happens because of everything that has happened before.
ANONYMOUS
When there's a will, I want to be in it.
ANONYMOUS
Everyone has photographic memory; some just don't have the film.
ANONYMOUS
When is the longer way always better than the shorter one? When you're a taxi driver.
ANONYMOUS
As long as everything is exactly the way I want it.. I'm totally flexible.
ANONYMOUS
When the cop told me to give him my first name and last name I told him, 'Are you crazy? What's my ...
ANONYMOUS
Always be yourself, unless you can be a unicorn. Then always be a unicorn.
ANONYMOUS
What do Eskimos get from sitting on the ice too long?
Polaroids.
ANONYMOUS
I'm going to stand outside, so if anybody asks for me, I'm outstanding.
ANONYMOUS
Oh I'm sorry, did the middle of my sentence interrupt the beginning of yours?
ANONYMOUS
I'm multitasking: I can listen, ignore and forget at the same time.
ANONYMOUS
Think you're smart? Come over and help me with my homework.
ANONYMOUS
Never wrestle with a pig. You'll both get dirty, and the pig likes it.
ANONYMOUS
Newspaper Ad: Parachute for sale, used once, never opened!!
ANONYMOUS
I bet you anything that I can stop gambling right now.
ANONYMOUS
My doctor prescribed laughter as the most efficient medicine. Unfortunately the pharmacist said too ...
ANONYMOUS
Finding a treasure is like working on algebra equations, all you have to do is find the X.
ANONYMOUS
I'm trying to think how I can think of what I want to think.
ANONYMOUS
People think.....
I'm skinny, but I'm really chunky.
I'm cheap, but I'm really thrifty. ANONYMOUS
I looked into my wallet and it was empty, I looked through all my pockets and they were all empty. T...
ANONYMOUS
I lost control. Offering reward to anyone who finds it.
ANONYMOUS
Chuck Norris is so amazing he can:

Light ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.<...
ANONYMOUS
Have you ever looked at someone and knew the wheel was turning, but the hamster fell off long time a...
ANONYMOUS
He grabbed her hand and held it tightly, and she thought, "he loves me!" And he thought, "wow this ...
ANONYMOUS
I'm not weird, I'm just limited edition.
ANONYMOUS
I walk around like everything is fine, but deep down inside my shoe, my sock is sliding off.
ANONYMOUS
Stop! You're under arrest for being too sexy. Your sentence is an eternity inside my heart.
ANONYMOUS
Marriage is like a walk in the park... Jurrasic Park.
ANONYMOUS
It's 11PM, do you know where your pants are?
ANONYMOUS
Son, employees are like mules. Some you stand in front of and coax them along with a carrot. Some yo...
ANONYMOUS
Don't believe everything fortune cookies tells you. Just because they're sweet doesn't mean they're...
ANONYMOUS
Pleasing everyone, that's impossible. Making everyone angry, piece of cake!
ANONYMOUS
I always carry a knife in my purse, just in case we're having cake.
ANONYMOUS
How do I like my eggs? In a cake.
ANONYMOUS
My grandpa's car is so old; when he parked in front of a museum, they towed his car inside the museu...
ANONYMOUS
Birthdays are nature's way of feeding us cake.
ANONYMOUS
What do you mean, my birth certificate expired?
ANONYMOUS
I am one step away from being rich, all I need now is money.
ANONYMOUS
There was a robot invented in China that catches thieves. In Australia it caught 10 thieves, in Ame...
ANONYMOUS
I'm a Victoria's Secret model. It's such a secret, not even Victoria knows.
ANONYMOUS
How is a poor man a lot like a rich man? They both have an iPhone.
ANONYMOUS
Fart when someone hugs you, it makes them feel strong.
ANONYMOUS
Smile while you still have teeth.
ANONYMOUS
Have some patience, I'm screwing things up as fast as possible.
ANONYMOUS
After many years of studying my Geography book I finally know by heart that Australia is on page 23.
ANONYMOUS
Funny sign at health spa: Fresh 10,000 year old mud for sale.
ANONYMOUS
I always mean what I say, I don't always mean to say it out loud, but I always mean it.
ANONYMOUS
I love that cute thing you do when you stop texting me for hours, it's adorable.
ANONYMOUS
True love is truly amazing only when it's truly true.
ANONYMOUS
Being married means mostly shouting "What?" from other rooms.
ANONYMOUS
Is it good if a blow dryer blows?
ANONYMOUS
Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?
ANONYMOUS
Never test how deep the water is with both feet.
ANONYMOUS
Never judge a book by it's movie
ANONYMOUS
I would like to thank my arms for always being by my side, my legs for always supporting me, and my ...
ANONYMOUS
When you have a hammer in your hand everything around you starts looking like a nail.
ANONYMOUS
Sometimes I pretend to be normal, but it gets boring so I go back to being myself.
ANONYMOUS
If you didn't see it with your own eyes, or hear it with your own ears, don't invent it with your sm...
ANONYMOUS
My biggest fear about becoming a zombie is all the walking that I'd have to do.
ANONYMOUS
I know that I am stupid but when I look around me I feel a lot better.
ANONYMOUS
Officer: I had a feeling I'd catch someone speeding here. Driver: I know, that's why I came as fast...
ANONYMOUS
I did a push-up today. Well actually I fell down, but I had to use my arms to get back up, so close ...
ANONYMOUS
Today I saw something through a store window that was truly stunning, beautiful and sexy. I wanted ...
ANONYMOUS
Today was once tomorrow, and tomorrow will be today soon.
ANONYMOUS
Silence is golden. Too bad nobody is buying.
ANONYMOUS
I'm not really a control freak, but... can I show the right way to do that?
ANONYMOUS
A balanced diet means a cupcake in each hand.
ANONYMOUS
I once finished first on my running team, then the coach asked me where everyone else is.
ANONYMOUS
Single and ready to get nervous around anyone I find attractive.
ANONYMOUS
Why is the sky blue? Sure there is an explanation, but lets just be thankful it's not red!
ANONYMOUS
Just because I can't sing doesn't mean that I won't sing.
ANONYMOUS
Whenever I am sad I go to my favorite place... the fridge.
ANONYMOUS
I'm not frowning, I'm just smiling upside down.
ANONYMOUS
The only problem with golf is that the slow people are always in front of you and the fast people al...
ANONYMOUS
I can make the doorbell ring any time I want, all I have to do is go to the bathroom.
ANONYMOUS
The amount of time it takes for a minute to go by is proportionally dependent with the distance to t...
ANONYMOUS
Bathroom sign above toilet: It's like basketball, the basket is bigger than the ball! Learn to sco...
ANONYMOUS
I can't wait for that to never happen.
ANONYMOUS
I liked the movie Titanic, my favorite character was the iceberg.
ANONYMOUS
Sports top moment: to score a goal but miss in the re-play.
ANONYMOUS
Honesty top moment: to be a cop and give yourself a ticket for going through a red light.
ANONYMOUS
Rudeness top moment: to scare an ostrich on an asphalt street.
ANONYMOUS
I'm so sorry about what I said when I was hungry.
ANONYMOUS
Always be positive. *Trips down the stairs* Whew, I got down those stairs fast.
ANONYMOUS
Beauty is mysterious as well as terrible.
ANONYMOUS
An expert is a person who has made every possible mistake in a small field of study.
ANONYMOUS
My taste in music ranges from "You've gotta listen to this" to "I know, please don't judge me."
ANONYMOUS
Just because it's called makeup, it doesn't mean it should make up 100% of your face.
ANONYMOUS
You can't please everyone, you're not a Nutella jar.
ANONYMOUS
Some things are better left unsaid, which I certainly realize, right after I say them.
ANONYMOUS
It's better to shut up and give the impression that you're stupid than to say something and erase al...
ANONYMOUS
If we ever travel far in the universe to another planet with intelligent life, let's just make patte...
ANONYMOUS
Whenever you feel stupid, remember that there are people outside searching for Pokemon.
ANONYMOUS