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One of the great things about books is sometimes there are some fantastic pictures.


Groucho Marx

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One of the great things about books is sometimes there are some fantastic pictures.
GEORGE W. BUSH Up there with my awards, I have a great big statue of Groucho Marx, just to put everything in perspe...
JOHN LITHGOW I'm a huge Groucho fan. There were some great comic minds that would transfer into any generatio...
JOE ROGAN I was always a fan of Groucho Marx as a kid.
MICHAEL FELDMAN The only real laughter comes from despair.
GROUCHO MARX I’ll put off reading Lolita for six more years until she turns 18.
GROUCHO MARX The world would not be in such a snarl,/ had Marx been Groucho instead of Karl.
IRVING BERLIN The world would not be in such a snarl, had Marx been Groucho instead of Karl.
IRVING BERLIN Throughout my life, there are four people I've met who were truly original people. The other thr...
ALICE COOPER Don't look now, but there's one too many in this room and I think it's you
GROUCHO MARX One of the fantastic things about books, fiction or non-fiction, is the way they give you a chance t...
GILLIAN CROSS What excites me about picture books is the gap between pictures and words. Sometimes the pictures ca...
ANTHONY BROWNE There is one good thing about Marx: he was not a Keynesian.
MURRAY ROTHBARD My closest friend, who died not long ago, is buried near Marx's grave in Highgate cemetery, so I...
ALASTAIR CAMPBELL The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made. Life is a ...
GROUCHO MARX I am not a cat burglar. I just went in to get some baby pictures, some books and other things.
MASON WILLIAMS Sometimes I read the same books over and over and over. What's great about books is that the stuff i...
KATHRYN ERSKINE There are an endless number of things to discover about robotics. A lot of it is just too fantastic ...
DANIEL H. WILSON Sometimes I think all my pictures are just pictures of me.
RICHARD AVEDON Fahrenheit 451 is one of those books that is about how amazing books are and how amazing the people ...
JOSH LIEB There are certain books in the world which every searcher for truth must know: the Bible, the Critiq...
AL CAPP There are no bad pictures; that's just how your face looks sometimes.
ABRAHAM LINCOLN I love life. I think it's fantastic. Sometimes it deals hard things, and when it deals great thi...
SAM TAYLOR-WOOD He'd noticed that sex bore some resemblance to cookery: It fascinated people, they sometimes bought ...
TERRY PRATCHETT When you're in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell...
LINDA KAGE The real achievement of Woody Allen was that he was making movies that felt very personal, and for a...
NOAH BAUMBACH Sometimes the soul takes pictures of things it has wished for, but never seen.
ANNE SEXTON There are many great wine producers from all over the world making fantastic wines. Italian wines es...
ROCCO DISPIRITO It was 1966 by the time I started taking pictures seriously and books, newspapers and magazines of t...
FAY GODWIN To be in the history books of anything is fantastic,
MICHAEL ROGERS But one of the most fantastic things about Ireland and Dublin is that the pubs are like Paris and th...
HUGH DANCY (The award) means a great deal ? there are some fantastic principals in this state, and to be select...
GEORGE BAYLES Russian Communism is the illegitimate child of Karl Marx and Catherine the Great.
CLEMENT ATTLEE What is admirable about the fantastic is that there is no longer anything fantastic: there is only t...
ANDRé BRETON Books are always obviously having conversations with other books, and some times they're amiable and...
CHINA MIéVILLE I could dance with you till the cows come home. Better still, I'll dance with the cows and you come ...
GROUCHO MARX I am sure that, on the one hand, the Rothschilds appreciate the merits of Marx, and that on the othe...
MIKHAIL BAKUNIN This celebrates all the great things youth do instead of the negative things you sometimes hear abou...
KAREN LEE I would love to write more children's books. There is such a high standard out there for childre...
JEWEL There are so many things about which some old man ought to tell one while one is little; for when on...
RAINER MARIA RILKE There are so many great characters because one of the things that makes Batman fantastic is that Bat...
GREG RUCKA You see, some things I can teach you. Some you learn from books. But there are things that, well, yo...
KHALED HOSSEINI Books say: She did this because. Life says: She did this. Books are where things are explained to yo...
JULIAN BARNES To the fantastic mental illness of Rationalism, hard facts are regrettable things, and to talk about...
FRANCIS PARKER YOCKEY Packing is one of those many things that I feel I know more about than any other person living. (It ...
JEROME K. JEROME There are so many great things about this business. Almost everybody is on the same team. It is all ...
BOBBY FLAY Books say: She did this because. Life says: She did this. Books are where things are explained to yo...
JULIAN BARNES Sometimes, some things have to settle, and you have to think about the intention of it.
EDGAR WRIGHT The genius of the Marx Brothers is for parody. They never are themselves. They exist too abundantly ...
MARK VAN DOREN One of the pleasantest things about book writing is that sometimes it brings one in touch with old f...
RACHEL FIELD One moment you are here, othere there, then there. Then you can't move!
DEYTH BANGER One of the things I love about cinema is the range.
MIKE FIGGIS There were a lot of things I loved about working in a library, but mostly I miss the library patrons...
ELIZABETH MCCRACKEN I go on a good many adventure-type trips. Whenever I go on one, it's always potentially going to...
WATT KEY Most of the Yankee roster is there. I'll grant you that three of their great stars are here, but the...
BUD SELIG One of the things I like about when I tour sometimes is that occasionally you'll see a dad there...
TIM VINE Some of my books sort of have a provocative take. Sometimes you find interesting things about charac...
NATHANIEL PHILBRICK There are literally books written about how one goes about trying to define signs or symptoms of abu...
DON STRASSBERG My feeling about work is it's much more about the experience of doing it than the end product. S...
ALAN CUMMING I like to exhilarate the audience like Groucho Marx exhilarated me when I was a kid. Also, I enjoy d...
FRANK FERRANTE No one bothered reading the books and understanding - and again, I'm not being high-falutin'...
AVI ARAD It is with the reading of books the same as with looking at pictures; one must, without doubt, witho...
VINCENT VAN GOGH Who is a great man? A great man is a person whom people are dying to write books about.
DAVID ATTA (A.K.A DAVIED ATTLARS & MR DAIN) One of the great things about the universe is that it's fair.
ALAN BEAN Sometimes the only way forward is to let go and sometimes those things you are forced to let go of a...
NIKKI ROWE Times may have changed, but there are some things that are always with us - loneliness is one of the...
LAURIE GRAHAM One of the great needs of Negro children is to have books about themselves and their lives that can ...
LANGSTON HUGHES Sometimes I think all my pictures are just pictures of me. My concern is... the human predicament; o...
RICHARD AVEDON There are obviously great English players in the Premier League, and there have been so many fantast...
FRANK LAMPARD The Elephantine papyri - written as some of the books of the Bible are being written - is true socia...
SIMON SCHAMA As we will see, there are lots of other discrepancies in the New Testament, some of them far more di...
BART D. EHRMAN It's a very complicated issue, this fame thing - I was not really cut out for it. There are some...
EDIE FALCO The ratio of successful shots is one in God-knows-how-many. Sometimes you'll get several in one ...
ELLIOTT ERWITT One of the great things about music is how it can take you places.
WASHED OUT I love to read books that focus on parenting topics because there are so many different ways to do t...
KOURTNEY KARDASHIAN I've had a wonderful time, but this wasn't it
GROUCHO MARX I think there is something in my books that says these are people doing their best under difficult c...
SONYA HARTNETT Though the customer is always right, there are some customers you do not want.
JEFFREY FRY One of the great things about Silicon Valley is, irrespective of how competitive you might be with a...
DICK COSTOLO Sometimes the things in our heads are far worse than anything they could put in books or on film!!
C.K. WEBB No, it's not terrible. There's fantastic news. Come to my place, you'll see some of it. Go investiga...
CHUCK LEAVELL I sometimes shake my head at the some of the things that J.R. says, but in the end, L.A. is a great ...
BRENDAN SHANAHAN With a few flowers in my garden, half a dozen pictures and some books, I live without envy.
LOPE DE VEGA There are some things a girl never forgets, Ry. And one of those is a kiss from the right guy
JULIE JAMES One of the things I loved about my childhood was that I didn't feel like I lost my innocence too...
DANIELLE DE NIESE There are worse crimes than burning books. One of them is not reading them.
JOSEPH BRODSKY There are worse crimes than burning books. One of them is not reading them.
RAY BRADBURY One of the great things and one of the horrible things about the American character is this extraord...
JOHN WELLS Writers know that sometimes things are there in the drawer for decades before they finally come out ...
GUNTER GRASS Picture books are being marginalised. I get the feeling children are being pushed away from picture ...
ANTHONY BROWNE He made the South Seas a great part of his life. Clearly this story comes out of the books he read a...
DAVID THOMSON Sometimes music, movies and books are the only things that let us feel like someone else feels like ...
MARILYN MANSON One of the nice things about books as opposed to television and movies to some extent is it's no...
JAMES PATTERSON I am a Marxist... of the Groucho tendency.
SOURCE UNKNOWN I am a Marxist--of the Groucho tendency.
ANONYMOUS 'To Kill A Mockingbird' is one of the great American books. It covers some important topics like cen...
HILERY WALKER I write entertainment. There are some books you read but don't inhale. There are books that will...
MICHAEL ROBOTHAM One of the great things about playing a fallible superhero, one who doesn't necessarily have sup...
CHARLIE COX A couple of customers interrupted [...] who wanted to know if we had some YA book about ants and ali...
SHAUN DAVID HUTCHINSON Something that's seldom appreciated about me is that I am in sympathy with a great deal of what ...
NIALL FERGUSON

More Groucho Marx

I remember the first time I had sex - I kept the receipt.
GROUCHO MARX The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made.
GROUCHO MARX Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.
GROUCHO MARX I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX Well, Art is Art, isn't it? Still, on the other hand, water is water. And east is east and west ...
GROUCHO MARX I intend to live forever, or die trying.
GROUCHO MARX I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
GROUCHO MARX Either he's dead or my watch has stopped.
GROUCHO MARX I worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.
GROUCHO MARX Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes?
GROUCHO MARX Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men--the other 999 follow women.
GROUCHO MARX Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows, marriage does.
GROUCHO MARX One of the best hearing aids a man can have is an attentive wife.
GROUCHO MARX Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough.
GROUCHO MARX No man goes before his time -- unless the boss leaves early.
GROUCHO MARX Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like a banana.
GROUCHO MARX The trouble with writing a book about yourself is that you can't fool around. If you write about som...
GROUCHO MARX Practically everybody in New York has half a mind to write a book, and does.
GROUCHO MARX From the moment I picked up your book until I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day...
GROUCHO MARX The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open
GROUCHO MARX Just give me a comfortable couch, a dog, a good book, and a woman. Then if you can get the dog to go...
GROUCHO MARX I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and...
GROUCHO MARX I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yes...
GROUCHO MARX I am so broke, I can't even afford to fill up my bicycle.
GROUCHO MARX How does the healthy dog bark? Ruff Ruff.
How does the cold dog bark ? Scarf Scarf.
How...
GROUCHO MARX I think it is good that books still exist, but they do make me sleepy.
GROUCHO MARX I have a new philosophy. I'm only going to dread one day at a time.
GROUCHO MARX Insurance is like marriage. You pay, pay, pay, and you never get anything back.
GROUCHO MARX Friends are chocolate chips in the cookie of life!
GROUCHO MARX What did the dog say after walking in the desert for hours? If I don't find a tree soon I'm gonna p...
GROUCHO MARX I'm a Nillionaire. I have little to no money!
GROUCHO MARX If aliens saw us walking our dogs and picking up their poop, who would they think is in charge?
GROUCHO MARX A child of five could understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.
GROUCHO MARX I've had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.
GROUCHO MARX When you're in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell...
GROUCHO MARX Blessed are the cracked, for they shall let in the light.
GROUCHO MARX Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.
GROUCHO MARX I worked myself up from nothing to extreme poverty.
GROUCHO MARX Look at me. I worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.
GROUCHO MARX Please accept my resignation. I don't care to belong to any club that will have me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX If you've heard this story before, don't stop me, because I'd like to hear it again.
GROUCHO MARX Although it is generally known, I think it's about time to announce that I was born at a very early ...
GROUCHO MARX I won't belong to any organization that would have me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception.
GROUCHO MARX There is one way to find out if a man is honest; ask him! If he says yes you know he's crooked.
GROUCHO MARX There is no sweeter sound than the crumbling of ones fellow man.
GROUCHO MARX I eat like a vulture. Unfortunately the resemblance doesn't end there.
GROUCHO MARX Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.
GROUCHO MARX Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse.
GROUCHO MARX I did toy with the idea of doing a cook-book. The recipes were to be the routine ones: how to make d...
GROUCHO MARX A clown is like aspirin, only he works twice as fast.
GROUCHO MARX I'm leaving because the weather is too good. I hate London when it's not raining.
GROUCHO MARX My mother loved children--she would have given anything if I had been one.
GROUCHO MARX Whoever named it necking is a poor judge of anatomy.
GROUCHO MARX No man goes before his time / unless the boss leaves early.
GROUCHO MARX The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made. Life is a ...
GROUCHO MARX Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it, misdiagnosing it, and then misapplying the w...
GROUCHO MARX No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend.
GROUCHO MARX While money can't buy happiness, it certainly lets you choose your own form of misery.
GROUCHO MARX I find television very educational. Every time someone switches it on I go into another room and rea...
GROUCHO MARX If you've heard this story before, don't stop me, because I'd like to hear it again.
GROUCHO MARX The first thing which I can record concerning myself is, that I was born. These are wonderful words....
GROUCHO MARX Alimony is like buying hay for a dead horse.
GROUCHO MARX I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.
GROUCHO MARX Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him.
GROUCHO MARX Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.
GROUCHO MARX Next time I see you, remind me not to talk to you.
GROUCHO MARX In Hollywood, brides keep the bouquets and throw away the groom.
GROUCHO MARX I must confess, I was born at a very early age.
GROUCHO MARX I have a mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it.
GROUCHO MARX She got her looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon.
GROUCHO MARX I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course.
GROUCHO MARX A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.
GROUCHO MARX Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?
GROUCHO MARX All people are born alike - except Republicans and Democrats.
GROUCHO MARX From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Someday I...
GROUCHO MARX I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.
GROUCHO MARX Before I speak, I have something important to say.
GROUCHO MARX Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.
GROUCHO MARX I didn't like the play, but then I saw it under adverse conditions - the curtain was up.
GROUCHO MARX Getting older is no problem. You just have to live long enough.
GROUCHO MARX Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted.
GROUCHO MARX A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere.
GROUCHO MARX I won't belong to any organization that would have me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX Please accept my resignation. I don't care to belong to any club that will have me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX No man goes before his time - unless the boss leaves early.
GROUCHO MARX I'm leaving because the weather is too good. I hate London when it's not raining.
GROUCHO MARX Humor is reason gone mad.
GROUCHO MARX One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas I'll never know.
GROUCHO MARX Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others.
GROUCHO MARX I wish to be cremated. One tenth of my ashes shall be given to my agent, as written in our contract.
GROUCHO MARX I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.
GROUCHO MARX I've got a good mind to go out and join a club and beat you over the head with it.
GROUCHO MARX I have nothing but respect for you -- and not much of that.
GROUCHO MARX He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don't let that fool you. He really is an idiot.
GROUCHO MARX I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
GROUCHO MARX I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yes...
GROUCHO MARX Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and app...
GROUCHO MARX I've got the brain of a four year old. I'll bet he was glad to be rid of it.
GROUCHO MARX Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows - marriage does.
GROUCHO MARX Hollywood brides keep the bouquets and throw away the grooms.
GROUCHO MARX Please accept my resignation. I don't care to belong to any club that will have me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX I don’t have a photograph, but you can have my footprints. They’re upstairs in my socks.
GROUCHO MARX Whoever named it necking was a poor judge of anatomy.
GROUCHO MARX All geniuses die young.
GROUCHO MARX There's one way to find out if a man is honest - ask him. If he says, 'Yes,' you know he...
GROUCHO MARX I read in the newspapers they are going to have 30 minutes of intellectual stuff on television every...
GROUCHO MARX We in the industry know that behind every successful screenwriter stands a woman. And behind her sta...
GROUCHO MARX I find television very educational. The minute somebody turns it on, I go to the library and read a ...
GROUCHO MARX She got her good looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon.
GROUCHO MARX The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open.
GROUCHO MARX I do not care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.
GROUCHO MARX No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend.
GROUCHO MARX My mother loved children - she would have given anything if I had been one.
GROUCHO MARX There is no sweeter sound than the crumbling of one's fellow man.
GROUCHO MARX She's afraid that if she leaves, she'll become the live of the party.
GROUCHO MARX I'd horsewhip you if I had a horse.
GROUCHO MARX In America you can go on the air and kid the politicians, and the politicians can go on the air and ...
GROUCHO MARX Practically everybody in New York has half a mind to write a book -and does
GROUCHO MARX From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I...
GROUCHO MARX Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
GROUCHO MARX Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others.
GROUCHO MARX There's one way to find out if a man is honest-ask him. If he says, "Yes," you know he is a crook.
GROUCHO MARX She got her looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon.
GROUCHO MARX Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.
GROUCHO MARX Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is han...
GROUCHO MARX Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
GROUCHO MARX It isn't necessary to have relatives in Kansas City in order to be unhappy.
GROUCHO MARX I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.
GROUCHO MARX I sent the club a wire stating, PLEASE ACCEPT MY RESIGNATION. I DON'T WANT TO BELONG TO ANY CLUB THA...
GROUCHO MARX I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
GROUCHO MARX I could dance with you until the cows come home. On second thought I'd rather dance with the cows ...
GROUCHO MARX Go, and never darken my towels again.
GROUCHO MARX From the moment I picked up your book until I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day ...
GROUCHO MARX Either this man is dead or my watch has stopped.
GROUCHO MARX Age is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live long e...
GROUCHO MARX My mother loved children -- she would have given anything if I had been one.
GROUCHO MARX A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.
GROUCHO MARX We dont like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out. Well, art is art, isnt it? Still, on t...
GROUCHO MARX I don't have a photograph, but you can have my footprints. They're upstairs in my socks.
GROUCHO MARX Women should be obscene and not heard.
GROUCHO MARX Please accept my resignation. I don't want to belong to any club that will accept me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough
GROUCHO MARX I was going to thrash them within an inch of their lives, but I didn't have a tape measure
GROUCHO MARX The secret of success is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake those, you’ve got it made.”
GROUCHO MARX Why should I care about posterity? What's posterity ever done for me?
GROUCHO MARX My favourite poem is the one that starts 'Thirty days hath September' because it actually tells you ...
GROUCHO MARX My favourite poem is the one that starts 'Thirty days hath September' because it actually te...
GROUCHO MARX Love flies out the door when money comes innuendo.
GROUCHO MARX If income tax is the price you have to pay to keep the government on its feet, alimony is the price ...
GROUCHO MARX Don’t ever underestimate the importance of money. I know it’s often been said that money won’t...
GROUCHO MARX I must say I find television very educational. The minute somebody turns it on, I go to the library ...
GROUCHO MARX You've got the brain of a four-year-old boy, and I bet he was glad to get rid of it
GROUCHO MARX Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough.
GROUCHO MARX Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
GROUCHO MARX [When Judy Garland lost the 1954 best actress Oscar to Grace Kelly in] The Country Girl, ... Dear Ju...
GROUCHO MARX I was so long writing my review that I never got around to reading the book.
GROUCHO MARX Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows, marriage does
GROUCHO MARX Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana
GROUCHO MARX Money will not make you happy, and happy will not make you money
GROUCHO MARX Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men, the other 999 follow women
GROUCHO MARX A man is only as old as the woman he feels.
GROUCHO MARX Here's to our wives and girlfriends...may they never meet!
GROUCHO MARX Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There's no doubt about it. Anytime you have...
GROUCHO MARX If a black cat crosses your path, it signifies that the animal is going somewhere.
GROUCHO MARX Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, and I'm going to be happy in it...
GROUCHO MARX I'm not crazy about reality, but it's still the only place to get a decent meal.
GROUCHO MARX If you're not having fun, you're doing something wrong.
GROUCHO MARX One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas I'll never know.
GROUCHO MARX Those are my principles, and if you don't like them...well I have others.
GROUCHO MARX Learn from the mistakes of others. You can never live long enough to make them all yourself.
GROUCHO MARX From the moment I picked up your book until I put it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I...
GROUCHO MARX It isn't necessary to have relatives in Kansas City in order to be unhappy.
GROUCHO MARX Please accept my resignation. I don't want to belong to any club that will accept me as a member
GROUCHO MARX I did toy with the idea of doing a cook-book. . . . I think a lot of people who hate literature but ...
GROUCHO MARX Why, I'd horse-whip you if I had a horse.
GROUCHO MARX I'm giving you 30 days to live.
GROUCHO MARX She's afraid that if she leaves, she'll become the life of the party
GROUCHO MARX Believe me, you have to get up early if you want to get out of bed
GROUCHO MARX A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.
GROUCHO MARX And I want to thank you for all the enjoyment you've taken out of it.
GROUCHO MARX Remember, we're fighting for this woman's honor, which is probably far more than she's ever done!
GROUCHO MARX Hey, when I said work fast, I didn't mean your friend, I meant the maid.
GROUCHO MARX Marriage is a wonderful institution...but who wants to live in an institution?
GROUCHO MARX I have nothing but confidence in you, and very little of that
GROUCHO MARX A man's only as old as the woman he feels.
GROUCHO MARX Blood's not thicker than money
GROUCHO MARX I didn't like the play, but then I saw it under adverse conditions - the curtain was up.
GROUCHO MARX Marry me and I'll never look at another horse!
GROUCHO MARX The only real laughter comes from despair.
GROUCHO MARX Q: What do you get when you cross an insomniac, an agnostic, and a dyslexic?
A: Someone who stay...
GROUCHO MARX Either this man is dead or my watch has stopped.
GROUCHO MARX Outside of a dog, a man's best friend is a book. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
GROUCHO MARX Why a four-year-old child could understand this report. Run out and find me a four-year-old child. I...
GROUCHO MARX I cannot say that I do not disagree with you
GROUCHO MARX I would never belong to a group that would accept someone like me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX Years ago, I tried to top everybody, but I don't anymore, I realized it was killing conversation. Wh...
GROUCHO MARX Remember men, we're fighting for this woman's honor; which is probably more than she ever did.
GROUCHO MARX I won't belong to any organization that would have me as a member
GROUCHO MARX Did I ever tell you how I shot a wild elephant in my pyjamas? How he got into my pyjamas I'll never ...
GROUCHO MARX