Parents are not interested in justice, they're interested in peace and quiet.

Now all you parents who are saying, 'Come on.' I'm now going to throw it back at you. Where are the marches? Where is the hell raising. Where are you going? I know you are here , but it's not enough of you here today, and you know the people who are missing. You know the people who you are afraid of, and you never would knock on their door. This is what I'm talking about, the revolution being in the neighborhood,

I don't see much comedy in the Bible, where people are writing about funny people. It's not there.

A new father quickly learns that his child invariably comes to the bathroom at precisely the times when he's in there, as if he needed company. The only way for this father to be certain of bathroom privacy is to shave at the gas station.

You don't reinvent yourself; you get better with what you do.

Every closed eye is not sleeping, and every open eye is not seeing.