People tell me there are a lot of guys like me, which doesn't explain why I'm lonely.

I found people looked better when they laughed

Liberals feel unworthy of their possessions. Conservatives feel they deserve everything they've stolen.

My life needs editing.

I didn't think that anything is beyond humor - not profane humor, but a good, honest approach to humor.

I never met a man I didn't like until I met Will Rogers.