Percy wouldn’t recognise a joke if it danced naked in front of him wearing Dobby’s tea-cosy.


J.K. Rowling

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Percy wouldn’t recognize a joke if it danced naked in front of him wearing Dobby’s tea cozy.
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Kill the spare.

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Harry -
I'm flying north immediately. This news about your scar is the latest in a series of st...
J.K. ROWLING
He wasn't sure if he wanted to talk to him or hit him, both seemed quite appealing...
J.K. ROWLING
But I think Durmstrang must be somewhere in the far north," said Hermione thoughtfully. "Somewhere v...
J.K. ROWLING
Percy wouldn’t recognize a joke if it danced naked in front of him wearing Dobby’s tea cozy.
J.K. ROWLING
So...you lot got dates for the ball yet?"
"Nope," said Ron.
"Well, you'd better hurry up m...
J.K. ROWLING
Come seek us where our voices sound, We cannot sing above the ground, And while you’re searching, ...
J.K. ROWLING
Harry took a deep, steadying breath and then said, “Okay, I can’t see the World Cup. Can I go no...
J.K. ROWLING
A team of doctors had examined the bodies and had concluded that none of the Riddles had been poison...
J.K. ROWLING
Aren't you two ever going to read Hogwarts, A History?"

"What's the point?" said Ron. "Yo...
J.K. ROWLING
He was going to be armed with his wand - which, just now, felt like nothing more than a narrow strip...
J.K. ROWLING
Remember Cedric. Remember, if the time should come when you have to make a choice between what is ri...
J.K. ROWLING
The words came out before Harry had quite got his tongue around them.
“Wangoballwime?”
J.K. ROWLING
But I was willing to embrace mortal life again, before chasing immortality.
J.K. ROWLING
Giggling should be made illegal.
J.K. ROWLING
OH NO YOU DON’T, LADDIE!”
Harry spun around. Professor Moody was limping down the marble st...
J.K. ROWLING
There are those who'll turn innocent occasions to their advantage.
J.K. ROWLING
Worst that can happen is Hagrid’ll have to get rid of the skrewts. Sorry ... did I say worst? I me...
J.K. ROWLING
The fridge had been emptied of all Dudley’s favorite things — fizzy drinks and cakes, chocolate ...
J.K. ROWLING
Professor Snape was forcing them to research antidotes. They took this one seriously, as he had hint...
J.K. ROWLING
Bubotubers,” Professor Sprout told them briskly. “They need squeezing. You will collect the pus ...
J.K. ROWLING
Wow!” said Dennis, as though nobody in their wildest dreams could hope for more than being ...
J.K. ROWLING
Half an hour later, each of them had been given a complicated circular chart, and was attempting to ...
J.K. ROWLING
We must all face the choice between what is right and what is easy. ~Albus Dumbledore
J.K. ROWLING
I just wondered where you —” Ron broke off, shrugging. “Nothing. I’m going back to bed.” J.K. ROWLING He had no memory of ever being hugged like this, as though by a mother. The full weight of everythin...
J.K. ROWLING
Completely forgetting about dinner, he walked slowly back up to Gryffindor tower. Cho's voice echoin...
J.K. ROWLING
She’s a veela!” he said hoarsely to Harry.
“Of course she isn’t!” said Hermion...
J.K. ROWLING
I was ripped from my body, I was less than spirit, less than the meanest ghost . . . but still, I wa...
J.K. ROWLING
He knew one thing only, and it was beyond fear or reason: He was not going to die crouching here lik...
J.K. ROWLING
You know your mother, Malfoy?” said Harry “That expression she’s got, like she’s got ...
J.K. ROWLING
I hate being poor.
J.K. ROWLING
As Hagrid had said, what would come would come and he would have to meet it when it did.
J.K. ROWLING
Enjoying it? I don’t reckon he’d come home if Dad didn’t make him. He’s obsessed. Just don�...
J.K. ROWLING
Play to your strengths."

"I haven’t got any," said Harry, before he could stop himself....
J.K. ROWLING
Oh you is a bad elf, Dobby!
J.K. ROWLING
No, I'm fine,' said Harry, wondering why he kept telling people this, and wondering whether he had e...
J.K. ROWLING
She can't keep writing about what a tragic little hero I am, it'll get boring.
J.K. ROWLING
You’re JOKING!” said Fred Weasley loudly.
The tension that had filled the Hall ever since M...
J.K. ROWLING
Yeah you can have a word," said Harry savagely. "Good-bye.
J.K. ROWLING
Oh, shut up Weatherby.
J.K. ROWLING
Hello, Professor McGonagall,” said Moody calmly, bouncing the ferret still higher.
“What �...
J.K. ROWLING
He sounds exactly like Moody," said Harry quietly, tucking the letter away again inside his robes. "...
J.K. ROWLING
Harry, Cedric, I suggest you both go up to bed," said Dumbledore, smiling at both of them. "I am sur...
J.K. ROWLING
Muggle women wear them, Archie, not the men, they wear these,' said the Ministry wizard, and he bran...
J.K. ROWLING
Really Hagrid, if you are holding out for universal popularity, I'm afraid you will be in this cabin...
J.K. ROWLING
Well, I’m sure you’ll find someone somewhere who’ll have you.
J.K. ROWLING
Of course we still want to know you!" Harry said, staring at Hagrid.
"You don't think anything ...
J.K. ROWLING
Aaah ... when two Neptunes appear in the sky it is a sure sign that a midget in glasses is being bor...
J.K. ROWLING
Wild!" Ron said, twiddling the replay knob on the side. "I can make that old bloke down there pick h...
J.K. ROWLING
She should've interviewed Snape," said Harry grimly. "He'd give her the goods on me any day. "Pot...
J.K. ROWLING
But Ron was staring at Hermione as though suddenly seeing her in a whole new light.
“Hermione...
J.K. ROWLING
I sometimes find, and I am sure you know the feeling, that I simply have too many thoughts and memor...
J.K. ROWLING
Ron's indignation on his behalf was worth about a hundred points to him.
J.K. ROWLING
I have gone temporarily deaf and haven't any idea what you said, Harry.
J.K. ROWLING
You fail to recognize that it matters not what someone is born, but what they grow to be!
J.K. ROWLING
I thought it sounded a bit like Percy singing... maybe you've got to attack him while he's in the sh...
J.K. ROWLING
We're coming or you whether the Muggles like it or not, you can't miss the World Cup, only Mum and D...
J.K. ROWLING
Well, you can't break an Unbreakable Vow...."
"I'd worked that much out for myself, funnily eno...
J.K. ROWLING
Dark times lie ahead of us and there will be a time when we must choose between what is easy and wha...
J.K. ROWLING
I love magic!
J.K. ROWLING
Well, I can certainly see why we're trying to keep them alive. Who wouldn't want pets that can burn,...
J.K. ROWLING
Love as powerful as your mother's for you leaves it's own mark. To have been loved so deeply, even t...
J.K. ROWLING
He wished he could rip out his heart, his innards, everything that was screaming inside him...
J.K. ROWLING
Potter wasn't such an unusual name. He was sure there were lots of people called Potter who had a so...
J.K. ROWLING
I do believe something magical can happen when you read a good book
J.K. ROWLING
Wandering around at midnight, Ickle Firsties? Tut, tut, tut. Naughty, naughty, you'll get caughty.
J.K. ROWLING
Shooting stars all over Britain? Owls flying by daylight? Mysterious people in cloaks all over the p...
J.K. ROWLING
Scars can come in handy. I have one myself above my left knee that is a perfect map of the London Un...
J.K. ROWLING
Why do you live?
Because I have something worth living for.
J.K. ROWLING
I am not forgotten, you know, no, I still receive a very great deal of fan mail.
. . . Gladys G...
J.K. ROWLING
Oh, these people's minds work in strange ways, Petunia, they're not like you and me," said Uncle Ver...
J.K. ROWLING