Please don't follow in my footsteps. I'm already knee-deep in them, and am sinking rapidly...

Great we're bloody inspired

His face was a gaze of primal obtuseness.

I enjoy growing older and wiser and learning from my mistakes every single day.

Never trust a man with a penis.

The P-38 WWII Nazi handgun looks comical lying on the breakfast table next to a bowl of oatmeal.