Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it, misdiagnosing it, and then misapplying the wrong remedies.
Groucho Marx
Related
Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it, misdiagnosing it, and then misapplying the w...
EUGENE MCCARTHY Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and app...
GROUCHO MARX Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it whether it exists or not, diagnosing it inc...
ERNEST BENN Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it whether it exists or not, diagnosing it incor...
EARNEST BENN Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it whether it exists or not, diagnosing it incor...
ERNEST BENN The king may rule the kingdom, but it's the queen who moves the board.
D.M. TIMNEY I like to open for a band as it brings on sort of a challenge and it makes things more interesting. ...
KELLY JONES To stand on the
brink of what is coming, feeling eager, optimistic anticipation—with no feeli...
ASK AND IT IS GIVEN I was always a fan of Groucho Marx as a kid.
MICHAEL FELDMAN The real achievement of Woody Allen was that he was making movies that felt very personal, and for a...
NOAH BAUMBACH You know, I don't think my music is important, I don't think it's changing the world, I ...
SUFJAN STEVENS The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made. Life is a ...
GROUCHO MARX The world would not be in such a snarl,/ had Marx been Groucho instead of Karl.
IRVING BERLIN The world would not be in such a snarl, had Marx been Groucho instead of Karl.
IRVING BERLIN The only real laughter comes from despair.
GROUCHO MARX I’ll put off reading Lolita for six more years until she turns 18.
GROUCHO MARX It is what it is, it is what you make it.
JAMES DURBIN Tomorrow is promised to no one. Prioritize today accordingly.
GINA GREENLEE When I die it will be game over,... but I know one life is short, to be selfish is not the best deci...
DEYTH BANGER I am Happy and satisfied with what I am.
10000 will take me wrong, 1000 will go against me, 100 will...
NEHA KOTHARI If our mind was an ocean then every now and then we would have the perfect storm happening in it.Gar...
GARY F EVANS... Integrity is not everything, but it is the only thing that matters.
JEFFREY FRY I'm not an Emontional, but how???
I live with the thought that "Nothing can be returned, it has...
DEYTH BANGER VIEW FROM A HILL
I am not yet quite over it.
I am lying down on top of it.
Surv...
JOHN TOTTENHAM Up there with my awards, I have a great big statue of Groucho Marx, just to put everything in perspe...
JOHN LITHGOW It'a okay to take some break from the crucible steep of stairs that you want to try to achieve, as l...
LAURE96 I regret that I wasn't more successful with my marriages, but it is what it is.
TED TURNER Karl Marx was right, socialism works, it is just that he had the wrong species
EDWARD O. WILSON Politics is a fascinating game, because politics is government. It is the art of government.
HARRY S TRUMAN You get to the point where you're like, 'I'm just doing me, and if people don't like...
BEBE REXHA It is a lie.
ARTHUR MILLER Name the fears that are holding you back. It's the equivalent of flooding the boogeyman with light.
GINA GREENLEE Throughout my life, there are four people I've met who were truly original people. The other thr...
ALICE COOPER Unpredictability means what it means. I don't know how you define it. It is what it is.
MICHAEL KEATON If you have a question, ask. How do you ask? Say it or write it
SOTONYE ANGA Hard to restrain, unstable is this mind; it flits wherever it lists. Good it is to control the mind....
GAUTAMA BUDDHA I'd like to be for cinema what Shakespeare was for theatre, Marx for politics and Freud for psyc...
RAINER WERNER FASSBINDER The trouble with movies as a business is that it's an art, and the trouble with movies as art is...
CHARLTON HESTON Always Be Ready For Anything that Comes: Bananas, Chips, College, an Opportunity, so when it does yo...
DANIEL OJEDA I speak the truth. Not everyone who says they are ready to hear it really are.
MONIKA ZANDS Even creating shit is hard to do. First, you need money to buy food. Then you have to chew it, eat i...
JONATHAN HEATT The fear of God is the only cure for the fear of people.
CRAIG GROESCHEL It is what it is, and it ain't nothin' else... Everything is clearly, openly, plainly delive...
DAN FLAVIN With '10,000,' our aim was to make a film that was entertaining and a roller-coaster ride; i...
STEVEN STRAIT For starters, that’s a rather simple principle of Time Travel right there – and according to the...
CHRISTINA ENGELA Not everybody wants be texting their 15-year-old asking how his math tutor was. They would rather be...
RENEE JAMES When the enemy is relaxed, make them toil. When full, starve them. When settled, make them move.
SUN TZU An Indigo Bunting let out a trill, a cheery song, reminding me of better days, of hope and happiness...
CHERYL R COWTAN The value of routine; trusting your swing.
LORII MYERS They were looking for trouble and found it.
CHUCK HUGHES Life is not all about sticking or stopping your thoughts to old memories but LIFE STARTS when you st...
NEHA KOTHARI Try to look at causes and solve problems. Do not concentrate on military solutions. Do not seek mili...
EQBAL AHMED ...never [enter] into dispute or argument with another. I never saw an instance of one of two disput...
THOMAS JEFFERSON Money is the mother's milk of politics. It should be trouble for Lieberman, but I would be surprised...
CHRIS KUKK So it can be seen that the trouble with the motion-picture art was (and is) that it is too much an i...
GARSON KANIN Even when apologising, this guy turns on the charm. And the worst thing is that it works.
She h...
GUILLAUME MUSSO I never like it when a celebrity goes on Twitter and says, 'This isn't true!' It is what...
HARRY STYLES She parted her lips as though she were going to scold him, but, after a moment of sitting with her m...
KELSEY BRICKL Frank held up the Chinese handcuffs. “Keep it simple.
RICK RIORDAN Politics is not the art of the possible. It consists in choosing between the disastrous and the unpa...
JOHN KENNETH GALBRAITH Something did happen, and I really don't feel proud of it.
DEYTH BANGER Don't look now, but there's one too many in this room and I think it's you
GROUCHO MARX Things don’t have significance: they only have existence.
Things are the only hidden meaning ...
ALBERTO CAEIRO Everything known and referred to as “impossible” is often what has not been attempted before. It...
ISRAELMORE AYIVOR Nicolas Cage is the best for taking the role of character Joker. He is pretty damn good at jokes!
DEYTH BANGER Just as Darwin discovered the law of development of organic nature, so Marx discovered the law of de...
FRIEDRICH ENGELS I think that what went wrong with religion is the same thing that went wrong with politics. Is that ...
DAVE DAVIES Another grave fault in our election system is that the campaigns are unduly strung out. [Election Ad...
JOSEPH P. HARRIS As for the politicians, like everyone else in America, they were motivated by money, not ideals.
CHARLES DICKENS Indeed, it's not a stretch to say that most voters no longer choose their representatives; instead, ...
BARACK OBAMA You can tell there's an election coming soon. People are already using the word "fundamentally" in e...
BENJAMIN KANE ETHRIDGE "A nation of sheep will beget a government of wolves."
- Edward R. Murrow
EDWARD R. MURROW To bring the matter to one point, Is the power who is jealous of our prosperity, a proper power to g...
THOMAS PAINE In other words, our constitution was designed by people who were idealistic but not ideological. The...
BILL CLINTON يا راكعين لأمريكا , أنا بريء منكم
ناجي العلي When you're in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell...
LINDA KAGE Politics is the art of the possible; creativity is the art of the impossible.
BEN OKRI Three things, then. Escape, and finding work, and then explaining himself adequately. It was just th...
ALAN MOORE I could dance with you till the cows come home. Better still, I'll dance with the cows and you come ...
GROUCHO MARX I saw that there is no Nature,
That Nature doesn’t exist,
That there are hills, valleys,...
ALBERTO CAEIRO Trouble cannot be avoided, you either go looking for it or it will come looking for you.
CONSTANCE FRIDAY Pain has creative power,
Let the magic unfold...
HENNA SOHAIL Nowadays, it's hard to find the best horror and to be interesting and to be afraid of it!
DEYTH BANGER Time is a teacher which in the end it kills all it's students. (Synchronicity 2015 Film)
DEYTH BANGER Maybe you've never fallen into a frozen stream. Here's what happens.
1. It is cold. So cold tha...
MAUREEN JOHNSON Make sure he's worth it. She had thought it so many times it had become a part of her. Like her tong...
COLLEEN MCCARTY The invasions of Afghanistan and Iraq were both justified by an appeal to the emancipation of women,...
NINA POWER In America, anyone can become president. That's one of the risks you take.
ADLAI E. STEVENSON II Politics is the art of the possible.
OTTO VON BISMARCK He had a harder time helping her out though. He was asleep while she was doing stars. Without wings,...
LAURIE FRANKEL Statesmanship is harder than politics. Politics is the art of getting along with people, whereas sta...
FLETCHER KNEBEL God's Politics: Why the Right Gets It Wrong and the Left Doesn't Get It .
JIM WALLIS Giving is akin to looking for the trouble of blessings.
DAVID ATTA (A.K.A DAVIED ATTLARS & MR DAIN) There was no Jace Wayland more real than the one he saw in her eyes when she looked at him.
CASSANDRA CLARE A lot of headaches, a lot of voter frustrations of them standing in the wrong line, then finding out...
GLORIA WILLIAMS From the Kindle Book Reflections in the Mirror of Life:
“In a slum somewhere in India
As...
THE PROPHET OF LIFE I think that what went wrong with religion is the same thing that went wrong with politics. Is that ...
DAVE DAVIES The trouble with weather forecasting is that it's right too often for us to ignore it and wrong too ...
PATRICK YOUNG You'll have no trouble finding it. You just can't miss it.
DAN SIMMONS Your life today is the result of a series of decisions you made that have caused you to arrive where...
CHRIS PRENTISS
More Groucho Marx
I remember the first time I had sex - I kept the receipt.
GROUCHO MARX The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made.
GROUCHO MARX Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.
GROUCHO MARX I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX Well, Art is Art, isn't it? Still, on the other hand, water is water. And east is east and west ...
GROUCHO MARX I intend to live forever, or die trying.
GROUCHO MARX I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
GROUCHO MARX Either he's dead or my watch has stopped.
GROUCHO MARX I worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.
GROUCHO MARX Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes?
GROUCHO MARX Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men--the other 999 follow women.
GROUCHO MARX Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows, marriage does.
GROUCHO MARX One of the best hearing aids a man can have is an attentive wife.
GROUCHO MARX Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough.
GROUCHO MARX No man goes before his time -- unless the boss leaves early.
GROUCHO MARX Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like a banana.
GROUCHO MARX The trouble with writing a book about yourself is that you can't fool around. If you write about som...
GROUCHO MARX Practically everybody in New York has half a mind to write a book, and does.
GROUCHO MARX From the moment I picked up your book until I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day...
GROUCHO MARX The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open
GROUCHO MARX Just give me a comfortable couch, a dog, a good book, and a woman. Then if you can get the dog to go...
GROUCHO MARX I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and...
GROUCHO MARX I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yes...
GROUCHO MARX I am so broke, I can't even afford to fill up my bicycle.
GROUCHO MARX How does the healthy dog bark? Ruff Ruff.
How does the cold dog bark ? Scarf Scarf.
How...
GROUCHO MARX I think it is good that books still exist, but they do make me sleepy.
GROUCHO MARX I have a new philosophy. I'm only going to dread one day at a time.
GROUCHO MARX Insurance is like marriage. You pay, pay, pay, and you never get anything back.
GROUCHO MARX Friends are chocolate chips in the cookie of life!
GROUCHO MARX What did the dog say after walking in the desert for hours? If I don't find a tree soon I'm gonna p...
GROUCHO MARX I'm a Nillionaire. I have little to no money!
GROUCHO MARX One of the great things about books is sometimes there are some fantastic pictures.
GROUCHO MARX If aliens saw us walking our dogs and picking up their poop, who would they think is in charge?
GROUCHO MARX A child of five could understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.
GROUCHO MARX I've had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.
GROUCHO MARX When you're in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell...
GROUCHO MARX Blessed are the cracked, for they shall let in the light.
GROUCHO MARX Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.
GROUCHO MARX I worked myself up from nothing to extreme poverty.
GROUCHO MARX Look at me. I worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.
GROUCHO MARX Please accept my resignation. I don't care to belong to any club that will have me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX If you've heard this story before, don't stop me, because I'd like to hear it again.
GROUCHO MARX Although it is generally known, I think it's about time to announce that I was born at a very early ...
GROUCHO MARX I won't belong to any organization that would have me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception.
GROUCHO MARX There is one way to find out if a man is honest; ask him! If he says yes you know he's crooked.
GROUCHO MARX There is no sweeter sound than the crumbling of ones fellow man.
GROUCHO MARX I eat like a vulture. Unfortunately the resemblance doesn't end there.
GROUCHO MARX Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.
GROUCHO MARX Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse.
GROUCHO MARX I did toy with the idea of doing a cook-book. The recipes were to be the routine ones: how to make d...
GROUCHO MARX A clown is like aspirin, only he works twice as fast.
GROUCHO MARX I'm leaving because the weather is too good. I hate London when it's not raining.
GROUCHO MARX My mother loved children--she would have given anything if I had been one.
GROUCHO MARX Whoever named it necking is a poor judge of anatomy.
GROUCHO MARX No man goes before his time / unless the boss leaves early.
GROUCHO MARX The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made. Life is a ...
GROUCHO MARX No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend.
GROUCHO MARX While money can't buy happiness, it certainly lets you choose your own form of misery.
GROUCHO MARX I find television very educational. Every time someone switches it on I go into another room and rea...
GROUCHO MARX If you've heard this story before, don't stop me, because I'd like to hear it again.
GROUCHO MARX The first thing which I can record concerning myself is, that I was born. These are wonderful words....
GROUCHO MARX Alimony is like buying hay for a dead horse.
GROUCHO MARX I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.
GROUCHO MARX Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him.
GROUCHO MARX Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.
GROUCHO MARX Next time I see you, remind me not to talk to you.
GROUCHO MARX In Hollywood, brides keep the bouquets and throw away the groom.
GROUCHO MARX I must confess, I was born at a very early age.
GROUCHO MARX I have a mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it.
GROUCHO MARX She got her looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon.
GROUCHO MARX I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course.
GROUCHO MARX A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.
GROUCHO MARX Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?
GROUCHO MARX All people are born alike - except Republicans and Democrats.
GROUCHO MARX From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Someday I...
GROUCHO MARX I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.
GROUCHO MARX Before I speak, I have something important to say.
GROUCHO MARX Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.
GROUCHO MARX I didn't like the play, but then I saw it under adverse conditions - the curtain was up.
GROUCHO MARX Getting older is no problem. You just have to live long enough.
GROUCHO MARX Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted.
GROUCHO MARX A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere.
GROUCHO MARX I won't belong to any organization that would have me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX Please accept my resignation. I don't care to belong to any club that will have me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX No man goes before his time - unless the boss leaves early.
GROUCHO MARX I'm leaving because the weather is too good. I hate London when it's not raining.
GROUCHO MARX Humor is reason gone mad.
GROUCHO MARX One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas I'll never know.
GROUCHO MARX Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others.
GROUCHO MARX I wish to be cremated. One tenth of my ashes shall be given to my agent, as written in our contract.
GROUCHO MARX I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.
GROUCHO MARX I've got a good mind to go out and join a club and beat you over the head with it.
GROUCHO MARX I have nothing but respect for you -- and not much of that.
GROUCHO MARX He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don't let that fool you. He really is an idiot.
GROUCHO MARX I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
GROUCHO MARX I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yes...
GROUCHO MARX Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and app...
GROUCHO MARX I've got the brain of a four year old. I'll bet he was glad to be rid of it.
GROUCHO MARX Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows - marriage does.
GROUCHO MARX Hollywood brides keep the bouquets and throw away the grooms.
GROUCHO MARX Please accept my resignation. I don't care to belong to any club that will have me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX I don’t have a photograph, but you can have my footprints. They’re upstairs in my socks.
GROUCHO MARX Whoever named it necking was a poor judge of anatomy.
GROUCHO MARX All geniuses die young.
GROUCHO MARX There's one way to find out if a man is honest - ask him. If he says, 'Yes,' you know he...
GROUCHO MARX I read in the newspapers they are going to have 30 minutes of intellectual stuff on television every...
GROUCHO MARX We in the industry know that behind every successful screenwriter stands a woman. And behind her sta...
GROUCHO MARX I find television very educational. The minute somebody turns it on, I go to the library and read a ...
GROUCHO MARX She got her good looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon.
GROUCHO MARX The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open.
GROUCHO MARX I do not care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.
GROUCHO MARX No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend.
GROUCHO MARX My mother loved children - she would have given anything if I had been one.
GROUCHO MARX There is no sweeter sound than the crumbling of one's fellow man.
GROUCHO MARX She's afraid that if she leaves, she'll become the live of the party.
GROUCHO MARX I'd horsewhip you if I had a horse.
GROUCHO MARX In America you can go on the air and kid the politicians, and the politicians can go on the air and ...
GROUCHO MARX Practically everybody in New York has half a mind to write a book -and does
GROUCHO MARX From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I...
GROUCHO MARX Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
GROUCHO MARX Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others.
GROUCHO MARX There's one way to find out if a man is honest-ask him. If he says, "Yes," you know he is a crook.
GROUCHO MARX She got her looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon.
GROUCHO MARX Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.
GROUCHO MARX Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is han...
GROUCHO MARX Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
GROUCHO MARX It isn't necessary to have relatives in Kansas City in order to be unhappy.
GROUCHO MARX I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.
GROUCHO MARX I sent the club a wire stating, PLEASE ACCEPT MY RESIGNATION. I DON'T WANT TO BELONG TO ANY CLUB THA...
GROUCHO MARX I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
GROUCHO MARX I could dance with you until the cows come home. On second thought I'd rather dance with the cows ...
GROUCHO MARX Go, and never darken my towels again.
GROUCHO MARX From the moment I picked up your book until I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day ...
GROUCHO MARX Either this man is dead or my watch has stopped.
GROUCHO MARX Age is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live long e...
GROUCHO MARX My mother loved children -- she would have given anything if I had been one.
GROUCHO MARX A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.
GROUCHO MARX We dont like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out. Well, art is art, isnt it? Still, on t...
GROUCHO MARX I don't have a photograph, but you can have my footprints. They're upstairs in my socks.
GROUCHO MARX Women should be obscene and not heard.
GROUCHO MARX Please accept my resignation. I don't want to belong to any club
that will accept me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough
GROUCHO MARX I was going to thrash them within an inch of their lives, but I didn't have a tape measure
GROUCHO MARX The secret of success is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake those, you’ve got it made.”
GROUCHO MARX Why should I care about posterity? What's posterity ever done for me?
GROUCHO MARX My favourite poem is the one that starts 'Thirty days hath September' because it actually tells you ...
GROUCHO MARX My favourite poem is the one that starts 'Thirty days hath September' because it actually te...
GROUCHO MARX Love flies out the door when money comes innuendo.
GROUCHO MARX If income tax is the price you have to pay to keep the government on its feet, alimony is the price ...
GROUCHO MARX Don’t ever underestimate the importance of money. I know it’s often been said that money won’t...
GROUCHO MARX I must say I find television very educational. The minute somebody turns it on, I go to the library ...
GROUCHO MARX You've got the brain of a four-year-old boy, and I bet he was glad to get rid of it
GROUCHO MARX Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough.
GROUCHO MARX Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
GROUCHO MARX [When Judy Garland lost the 1954 best actress Oscar to Grace Kelly in] The Country Girl, ... Dear Ju...
GROUCHO MARX I was so long writing my review that I never got around to reading the book.
GROUCHO MARX Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows, marriage does
GROUCHO MARX Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana
GROUCHO MARX Money will not make you happy, and happy will not make you money
GROUCHO MARX Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men, the other 999 follow women
GROUCHO MARX A man is only as old as the woman he feels.
GROUCHO MARX Here's to our wives and girlfriends...may they never meet!
GROUCHO MARX Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There's no doubt about it. Anytime you have...
GROUCHO MARX If a black cat crosses your path, it signifies that the animal is going somewhere.
GROUCHO MARX Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, and I'm going to be happy in it...
GROUCHO MARX I'm not crazy about reality, but it's still the only place to get a decent meal.
GROUCHO MARX If you're not having fun, you're doing something wrong.
GROUCHO MARX One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas I'll never know.
GROUCHO MARX Those are my principles, and if you don't like them...well I have others.
GROUCHO MARX Learn from the mistakes of others. You can never live long enough to make them all yourself.
GROUCHO MARX From the moment I picked up your book until I put it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I...
GROUCHO MARX It isn't necessary to have relatives in Kansas City in order to be unhappy.
GROUCHO MARX Please accept my resignation. I don't want to belong to any club that will accept me as a member
GROUCHO MARX I did toy with the idea of doing a cook-book. . . . I think a lot of people who hate literature but ...
GROUCHO MARX Why, I'd horse-whip you if I had a horse.
GROUCHO MARX I'm giving you 30 days to live.
GROUCHO MARX She's afraid that if she leaves, she'll become the life of the party
GROUCHO MARX Believe me, you have to get up early if you want to get out of bed
GROUCHO MARX A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.
GROUCHO MARX And I want to thank you for all the enjoyment you've taken out of it.
GROUCHO MARX Remember, we're fighting for this woman's honor, which is probably far more than she's ever done!
GROUCHO MARX Hey, when I said work fast, I didn't mean your friend, I meant the maid.
GROUCHO MARX Marriage is a wonderful institution...but who wants to live in an institution?
GROUCHO MARX I have nothing but confidence in you, and very little of that
GROUCHO MARX A man's only as old as the woman he feels.
GROUCHO MARX Blood's not thicker than money
GROUCHO MARX I didn't like the play, but then I saw it under adverse conditions - the curtain was up.
GROUCHO MARX Marry me and I'll never look at another horse!
GROUCHO MARX The only real laughter comes from despair.
GROUCHO MARX Q: What do you get when you cross an insomniac, an agnostic, and a dyslexic?
A: Someone who stay...
GROUCHO MARX Either this man is dead
or my watch has stopped.
GROUCHO MARX Outside of a dog, a man's best friend is a book. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
GROUCHO MARX Why a four-year-old child could understand this report. Run out and find me a four-year-old child. I...
GROUCHO MARX I cannot say that I do not disagree with you
GROUCHO MARX I would never belong to a group that would accept someone like me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX Years ago, I tried to top everybody, but I don't anymore, I realized it was killing conversation. Wh...
GROUCHO MARX Remember men, we're fighting for this woman's honor; which is probably more than she ever did.
GROUCHO MARX I won't belong to any organization that would have me as a member
GROUCHO MARX Did I ever tell you how I shot a wild elephant in my pyjamas? How he got into my pyjamas I'll never ...
GROUCHO MARX