Remember, I'm not running against Rick Perry; I'm running against apathy,

I've always said that this campaign is running on the coin of the spirit. I've also said a journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance. This spiritual journey to the Governor's mansion is a long one, and we are going to need some help.

The first thing I'll do if elected is demand a recount.

People are drooling for the truth. They want honesty from politicians, and they're not getting it.

I have a better head of hair than Rick Perry; it's just not in a place I can show you.

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder