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Remember men, we're fighting for this woman's honor; which is probably more than she ever did.


Groucho Marx

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Remember, we're fighting for this woman's honor, which is probably far more than she's ever done!
GROUCHO MARX I was always a fan of Groucho Marx as a kid.
MICHAEL FELDMAN The only real laughter comes from despair.
GROUCHO MARX I’ll put off reading Lolita for six more years until she turns 18.
GROUCHO MARX Throughout my life, there are four people I've met who were truly original people. The other thr...
ALICE COOPER The world would not be in such a snarl,/ had Marx been Groucho instead of Karl.
IRVING BERLIN The world would not be in such a snarl, had Marx been Groucho instead of Karl.
IRVING BERLIN She doesn't remember the crash, which is probably a good thing.
FRED ZIMNY Up there with my awards, I have a great big statue of Groucho Marx, just to put everything in perspe...
JOHN LITHGOW If you talk to him for a couple hours, you'll probably know more about them than I ever did.
EVERETT RICE You should not honor men more than truth.
PLATO Oh God, now she couldn’t remember why she’d ever left him. She needed him. More than air or sunl...
MIMI JEAN PAMFILOFF The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made. Life is a ...
GROUCHO MARX I was brought up in the north of England, which is probably no rougher than anywhere else, but I rem...
SARAH HALL For humble individuals like myself, there is one poor comfort, which is this, viz. that gout, unlike...
THOMAS SYDENHAM I've got to say, I've probably seen a lot more of the Three Stooges than of the Marx Brother...
SPIKE JONZE That's more than you ever did for it.
DAVID LEHMAN She did not date. She did not have time for men. Men were never, ever worth a great amount of energy...
MANDY NACHAMPASSACK-MALONEY It is large. It's more than we've probably ever had.
KARL RASCHKES Don't look now, but there's one too many in this room and I think it's you
GROUCHO MARX It's an honor fighting on his birthday, because of what he did for my idol, my hero, Joe Louis,
LAMON BREWSTER This is probably one of the more unusual set of circumstances for this time of year that I can remem...
DON MADDEN This plant makes money. They told us that they were making more tires than they ever did before and ...
WAYNE FRASER More men have been elected between Sundown and Sunup than ever were elected between Sunup and Sundow...
WILL ROGERS The brave men who died in Vietnam, more than 100% of which were black, were the ultimate sacrifice.
MARION BARRY The brave men who died in Vietnam, more than 100% of which were black, were the ultimate sacrifice.
MARION BERRY The animals of the world exist for their own reasons. They were not made for humans any more than...
ALICE WALKER Politics is developing more comedians than radio ever did.
JIMMY DURANTE I do, love. I want you more than you could ever know. More than I could have ever dreamed. I want yo...
SARAH MACLEAN I'm a huge Groucho fan. There were some great comic minds that would transfer into any generatio...
JOE ROGAN The real achievement of Woody Allen was that he was making movies that felt very personal, and for a...
NOAH BAUMBACH Heroes show us courage, honor, integrity and strength. Now more than ever, we need heroes.
JOHN PATRICK HICKEY I was changing a light bulb over Groucho Marx's bed, so I took my shoes off, got on his bed and ...
ELLIOTT GOULD We were probably Mom's main focus. She was a good mom. She always tried to provide for us. She wante...
HALEY GRAINGER Probably it is impossible for humor to be ever a revolutionary weapon. Candide can do little more th...
LIONEL TRILLING When you're in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell...
LINDA KAGE Not that I'm some rocker, but what I do in a show is probably far more aggressive than what Dean...
MICHAEL BUBLE This is something we will remember for ever.
MARK RICHARDS This year, we were able to give more than we ever have.
LANITA RICHMOND Alex has become more vocal for us, which is a nice surprise. She never stepped up like this before b...
AMY POWELL She was a fantastic individual. She put more hours, I think, sometimes into this park than she did a...
DONNA SMITH Young man, there is America, which at this day serves for little more than to amuse you with stories...
EDMUND BURKE I could dance with you till the cows come home. Better still, I'll dance with the cows and you come ...
GROUCHO MARX More flirtatious than me. I couldn't work it like she did.
BRITTANY DANIEL I like to exhilarate the audience like Groucho Marx exhilarated me when I was a kid. Also, I enjoy d...
FRANK FERRANTE I want Chinese history to remember me as Carnegie is remembered. I want Chinese people to remember m...
CHEN GUANGBIAO Gentle whispers from above
Awakened me more
Than ever did
This loud world
HOLLY DUCARTE Generally women are better than men -- they have more character. I prefer men for some things, obvio...
LAUREN BACALL 'Tis nobler to lose honor to save the lives of men than it is to gain honor by taking them.
DAVID BORENSTEIN Small businesses are very important customers for banks today because there are more of them than ev...
FRITZ ELMENDORF We're more sexually repressed than men, having been given a much more strict puritanical code of...
KATE MILLETT If i'm louder would you see me?
NIALL HORAN told me more than she really did.
MONICA LEWINSKY Don't look for more honor than your learning merits.
JEWISH PROVERB Don't look for more honor than your learning merits.
JEWISH PROVERB I think investors have their eyes onto...the host of economic data for next week, which will probabl...
ALEX LI This is the greatest honor I could ever receive,
JIM CALHOUN Nobody is ever given more to shoulder than he or she can bear.
NEIL GAIMAN It is not titles that honor men, but men that honor titles.
NICCOLO MACHIAVELLI Retirement kills more people than hard work ever did.
My mama loved me more than anybody ever did.
GEORGE JONES People love their homes more than they ever did,
BARBARA CAPLAN Retirement kills more people than hard work ever did.
MALCOLM S. FORBES This was a great honor for me. I didn't care if they scored 12, I was going to keep fighting.
JASON MUZZATTI Integrity is more significant than income. Honor is more opulent than fame. Self worth is more afflu...
SRAVANI SAHA NAKHRO There is one in the world who feels for him who is sad a keener pang than he feels for himself; ther...
WASHINGTON IRVING Remember this about the Korean War: The men were drafted; the women volunteered.
LORETTA SWIT Remember to honor the hand which reached out for you when you needed it, by being that hand to someo...
GREG DUTILLY I suppose no person ever enjoyed with more relish the infusion of this fragrant leaf than did Johnso...
JAMES BOSWELL I suppose no person ever enjoyed with more relish the infusion of this fragrant leaf than did Johnso...
JAMES BOSWELL If you want a war, nourish a doctrine. Doctrines are the most frightful tyrants to which men are eve...
WILLIAM GRAHAM SUMNER Stop looking for that person you were in the past. She has changed. Look for the person she has grow...
CHRIS PEPPLE I probably remember more about 'The Dick Van Dyke Show' than Dick Van Dyke does.
NEIL FLYNN Chelsea is one of the most accurate 3-point shooters I've been around. But she did more than that. S...
DAVE SWANSON If she has a good, strong, reliable father image, which is hard to find these days, that will be her...
ROBERT JOHNSON Funeral pomp is more for the vanity of the living than for the honor of the dead.
FRANCOIS DE LA ROCHEFOUCAULD She has no fear of anything. I could picture her skydiving, I could picture her doing anything. She ...
BRANDI MUIRHEAD My biggest hope for this work is that it will help others to remember the sacrifices made for our fr...
J. NEVEN-PUGH My biggest hope for this work is that it will help others to remember the sacrifices made for our fr...
J. NEVEN-PUGH, PRESS RELEASE were more worn out than they ever had been at training camp for football.
DENNY BRAUER I'm not an Emontional, but how???
I live with the thought that "Nothing can be returned, it has...
DEYTH BANGER These men were wrongfully rejected, the veterans. The fighting man should never have been blamed for...
NEIL SHEEHAN Good nature is worth more than knowledge, more than money, more than honor, to the persons who posse...
HENRY WARD BEECHER Good nature is worth more than knowledge, more than money, more than honor, to the persons who posse...
HENRY WARD BEECHER This is the greatest honor I've ever had and the hardest thing I've ever done.
GREG JOHNSTON There is nothing to which men cling more tenaciously than the privileges of class.
LEONARD SIDNEY WOOLF There is nothing to which men cling more tenaciously than the privileges of class
LEONARD SIDNEY WOOLF It's probably more than we were hoping for. It's excellent news and it makes me very optimistic.
KAREN HAYNES Kerouac: You're ruining American poetry, O'Hara.
O'Hara: That's more than you ever did for it, ...
FRANK O'HARA It was the hardest thing I ever did. To see a bunch of grown men drop to their knees and cry was rea...
GENE MILLS And, despite the care which she took to look behind her at every moment, she failed to see a shadow ...
GASTON LEROUX It is the very error of the moon: She comes more nearer earth than she was wont, and makes men mad.
WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE It is the very error of the moon;She comes more nearer earth than she was wont,And drives men mad.
WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE Being on the podium with him is an honor. This (bronze) means more than a silver without him.
JEFFREY BUTTLE I can write anywhere. I actually wrote more than I ever did when I had small children. My children w...
JAMAICA KINCAID Women resemble men much more so than they did in the '50s.
JENI BOUGOURD I've had a wonderful time, but this wasn't it
GROUCHO MARX According to the wire, you are resting well and are being taken care of by a nurse. I hope she is be...
GROUCHO MARX She almost never left her bedroom, and when she did she was nude or wearing a silk tunic with nothin...
GABRIEL GARCíA MáRQUEZ My observations of Japanese naval fighting men, their abilities and equipment led me to believe that...
JACK ADAMS

More Groucho Marx

I remember the first time I had sex - I kept the receipt.
GROUCHO MARX The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made.
GROUCHO MARX Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.
GROUCHO MARX I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX Well, Art is Art, isn't it? Still, on the other hand, water is water. And east is east and west ...
GROUCHO MARX I intend to live forever, or die trying.
GROUCHO MARX I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
GROUCHO MARX Either he's dead or my watch has stopped.
GROUCHO MARX I worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.
GROUCHO MARX Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes?
GROUCHO MARX Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men--the other 999 follow women.
GROUCHO MARX Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows, marriage does.
GROUCHO MARX One of the best hearing aids a man can have is an attentive wife.
GROUCHO MARX Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough.
GROUCHO MARX No man goes before his time -- unless the boss leaves early.
GROUCHO MARX Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like a banana.
GROUCHO MARX The trouble with writing a book about yourself is that you can't fool around. If you write about som...
GROUCHO MARX Practically everybody in New York has half a mind to write a book, and does.
GROUCHO MARX From the moment I picked up your book until I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day...
GROUCHO MARX The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open
GROUCHO MARX Just give me a comfortable couch, a dog, a good book, and a woman. Then if you can get the dog to go...
GROUCHO MARX I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and...
GROUCHO MARX I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yes...
GROUCHO MARX I am so broke, I can't even afford to fill up my bicycle.
GROUCHO MARX How does the healthy dog bark? Ruff Ruff.
How does the cold dog bark ? Scarf Scarf.
How...
GROUCHO MARX I think it is good that books still exist, but they do make me sleepy.
GROUCHO MARX I have a new philosophy. I'm only going to dread one day at a time.
GROUCHO MARX Insurance is like marriage. You pay, pay, pay, and you never get anything back.
GROUCHO MARX Friends are chocolate chips in the cookie of life!
GROUCHO MARX What did the dog say after walking in the desert for hours? If I don't find a tree soon I'm gonna p...
GROUCHO MARX I'm a Nillionaire. I have little to no money!
GROUCHO MARX One of the great things about books is sometimes there are some fantastic pictures.
GROUCHO MARX If aliens saw us walking our dogs and picking up their poop, who would they think is in charge?
GROUCHO MARX A child of five could understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.
GROUCHO MARX I've had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.
GROUCHO MARX When you're in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell...
GROUCHO MARX Blessed are the cracked, for they shall let in the light.
GROUCHO MARX Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.
GROUCHO MARX I worked myself up from nothing to extreme poverty.
GROUCHO MARX Look at me. I worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.
GROUCHO MARX Please accept my resignation. I don't care to belong to any club that will have me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX If you've heard this story before, don't stop me, because I'd like to hear it again.
GROUCHO MARX Although it is generally known, I think it's about time to announce that I was born at a very early ...
GROUCHO MARX I won't belong to any organization that would have me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception.
GROUCHO MARX There is one way to find out if a man is honest; ask him! If he says yes you know he's crooked.
GROUCHO MARX There is no sweeter sound than the crumbling of ones fellow man.
GROUCHO MARX I eat like a vulture. Unfortunately the resemblance doesn't end there.
GROUCHO MARX Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.
GROUCHO MARX Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse.
GROUCHO MARX I did toy with the idea of doing a cook-book. The recipes were to be the routine ones: how to make d...
GROUCHO MARX A clown is like aspirin, only he works twice as fast.
GROUCHO MARX I'm leaving because the weather is too good. I hate London when it's not raining.
GROUCHO MARX My mother loved children--she would have given anything if I had been one.
GROUCHO MARX Whoever named it necking is a poor judge of anatomy.
GROUCHO MARX No man goes before his time / unless the boss leaves early.
GROUCHO MARX The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made. Life is a ...
GROUCHO MARX Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it, misdiagnosing it, and then misapplying the w...
GROUCHO MARX No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend.
GROUCHO MARX While money can't buy happiness, it certainly lets you choose your own form of misery.
GROUCHO MARX I find television very educational. Every time someone switches it on I go into another room and rea...
GROUCHO MARX If you've heard this story before, don't stop me, because I'd like to hear it again.
GROUCHO MARX The first thing which I can record concerning myself is, that I was born. These are wonderful words....
GROUCHO MARX Alimony is like buying hay for a dead horse.
GROUCHO MARX I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.
GROUCHO MARX Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him.
GROUCHO MARX Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.
GROUCHO MARX Next time I see you, remind me not to talk to you.
GROUCHO MARX In Hollywood, brides keep the bouquets and throw away the groom.
GROUCHO MARX I must confess, I was born at a very early age.
GROUCHO MARX I have a mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it.
GROUCHO MARX She got her looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon.
GROUCHO MARX I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course.
GROUCHO MARX A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.
GROUCHO MARX Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?
GROUCHO MARX All people are born alike - except Republicans and Democrats.
GROUCHO MARX From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Someday I...
GROUCHO MARX I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.
GROUCHO MARX Before I speak, I have something important to say.
GROUCHO MARX Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.
GROUCHO MARX I didn't like the play, but then I saw it under adverse conditions - the curtain was up.
GROUCHO MARX Getting older is no problem. You just have to live long enough.
GROUCHO MARX Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted.
GROUCHO MARX A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere.
GROUCHO MARX I won't belong to any organization that would have me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX Please accept my resignation. I don't care to belong to any club that will have me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX No man goes before his time - unless the boss leaves early.
GROUCHO MARX I'm leaving because the weather is too good. I hate London when it's not raining.
GROUCHO MARX Humor is reason gone mad.
GROUCHO MARX One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas I'll never know.
GROUCHO MARX Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others.
GROUCHO MARX I wish to be cremated. One tenth of my ashes shall be given to my agent, as written in our contract.
GROUCHO MARX I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.
GROUCHO MARX I've got a good mind to go out and join a club and beat you over the head with it.
GROUCHO MARX I have nothing but respect for you -- and not much of that.
GROUCHO MARX He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don't let that fool you. He really is an idiot.
GROUCHO MARX I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
GROUCHO MARX I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yes...
GROUCHO MARX Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and app...
GROUCHO MARX I've got the brain of a four year old. I'll bet he was glad to be rid of it.
GROUCHO MARX Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows - marriage does.
GROUCHO MARX Hollywood brides keep the bouquets and throw away the grooms.
GROUCHO MARX Please accept my resignation. I don't care to belong to any club that will have me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX I don’t have a photograph, but you can have my footprints. They’re upstairs in my socks.
GROUCHO MARX Whoever named it necking was a poor judge of anatomy.
GROUCHO MARX All geniuses die young.
GROUCHO MARX There's one way to find out if a man is honest - ask him. If he says, 'Yes,' you know he...
GROUCHO MARX I read in the newspapers they are going to have 30 minutes of intellectual stuff on television every...
GROUCHO MARX We in the industry know that behind every successful screenwriter stands a woman. And behind her sta...
GROUCHO MARX I find television very educational. The minute somebody turns it on, I go to the library and read a ...
GROUCHO MARX She got her good looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon.
GROUCHO MARX The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open.
GROUCHO MARX I do not care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.
GROUCHO MARX No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend.
GROUCHO MARX My mother loved children - she would have given anything if I had been one.
GROUCHO MARX There is no sweeter sound than the crumbling of one's fellow man.
GROUCHO MARX She's afraid that if she leaves, she'll become the live of the party.
GROUCHO MARX I'd horsewhip you if I had a horse.
GROUCHO MARX In America you can go on the air and kid the politicians, and the politicians can go on the air and ...
GROUCHO MARX Practically everybody in New York has half a mind to write a book -and does
GROUCHO MARX From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I...
GROUCHO MARX Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
GROUCHO MARX Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others.
GROUCHO MARX There's one way to find out if a man is honest-ask him. If he says, "Yes," you know he is a crook.
GROUCHO MARX She got her looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon.
GROUCHO MARX Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.
GROUCHO MARX Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is han...
GROUCHO MARX Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
GROUCHO MARX It isn't necessary to have relatives in Kansas City in order to be unhappy.
GROUCHO MARX I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.
GROUCHO MARX I sent the club a wire stating, PLEASE ACCEPT MY RESIGNATION. I DON'T WANT TO BELONG TO ANY CLUB THA...
GROUCHO MARX I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
GROUCHO MARX I could dance with you until the cows come home. On second thought I'd rather dance with the cows ...
GROUCHO MARX Go, and never darken my towels again.
GROUCHO MARX From the moment I picked up your book until I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day ...
GROUCHO MARX Either this man is dead or my watch has stopped.
GROUCHO MARX Age is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live long e...
GROUCHO MARX My mother loved children -- she would have given anything if I had been one.
GROUCHO MARX A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.
GROUCHO MARX We dont like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out. Well, art is art, isnt it? Still, on t...
GROUCHO MARX I don't have a photograph, but you can have my footprints. They're upstairs in my socks.
GROUCHO MARX Women should be obscene and not heard.
GROUCHO MARX Please accept my resignation. I don't want to belong to any club that will accept me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough
GROUCHO MARX I was going to thrash them within an inch of their lives, but I didn't have a tape measure
GROUCHO MARX The secret of success is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake those, you’ve got it made.”
GROUCHO MARX Why should I care about posterity? What's posterity ever done for me?
GROUCHO MARX My favourite poem is the one that starts 'Thirty days hath September' because it actually tells you ...
GROUCHO MARX My favourite poem is the one that starts 'Thirty days hath September' because it actually te...
GROUCHO MARX Love flies out the door when money comes innuendo.
GROUCHO MARX If income tax is the price you have to pay to keep the government on its feet, alimony is the price ...
GROUCHO MARX Don’t ever underestimate the importance of money. I know it’s often been said that money won’t...
GROUCHO MARX I must say I find television very educational. The minute somebody turns it on, I go to the library ...
GROUCHO MARX You've got the brain of a four-year-old boy, and I bet he was glad to get rid of it
GROUCHO MARX Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough.
GROUCHO MARX Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
GROUCHO MARX [When Judy Garland lost the 1954 best actress Oscar to Grace Kelly in] The Country Girl, ... Dear Ju...
GROUCHO MARX I was so long writing my review that I never got around to reading the book.
GROUCHO MARX Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows, marriage does
GROUCHO MARX Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana
GROUCHO MARX Money will not make you happy, and happy will not make you money
GROUCHO MARX Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men, the other 999 follow women
GROUCHO MARX A man is only as old as the woman he feels.
GROUCHO MARX Here's to our wives and girlfriends...may they never meet!
GROUCHO MARX Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There's no doubt about it. Anytime you have...
GROUCHO MARX If a black cat crosses your path, it signifies that the animal is going somewhere.
GROUCHO MARX Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, and I'm going to be happy in it...
GROUCHO MARX I'm not crazy about reality, but it's still the only place to get a decent meal.
GROUCHO MARX If you're not having fun, you're doing something wrong.
GROUCHO MARX One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas I'll never know.
GROUCHO MARX Those are my principles, and if you don't like them...well I have others.
GROUCHO MARX Learn from the mistakes of others. You can never live long enough to make them all yourself.
GROUCHO MARX From the moment I picked up your book until I put it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I...
GROUCHO MARX It isn't necessary to have relatives in Kansas City in order to be unhappy.
GROUCHO MARX Please accept my resignation. I don't want to belong to any club that will accept me as a member
GROUCHO MARX I did toy with the idea of doing a cook-book. . . . I think a lot of people who hate literature but ...
GROUCHO MARX Why, I'd horse-whip you if I had a horse.
GROUCHO MARX I'm giving you 30 days to live.
GROUCHO MARX She's afraid that if she leaves, she'll become the life of the party
GROUCHO MARX Believe me, you have to get up early if you want to get out of bed
GROUCHO MARX A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.
GROUCHO MARX And I want to thank you for all the enjoyment you've taken out of it.
GROUCHO MARX Remember, we're fighting for this woman's honor, which is probably far more than she's ever done!
GROUCHO MARX Hey, when I said work fast, I didn't mean your friend, I meant the maid.
GROUCHO MARX Marriage is a wonderful institution...but who wants to live in an institution?
GROUCHO MARX I have nothing but confidence in you, and very little of that
GROUCHO MARX A man's only as old as the woman he feels.
GROUCHO MARX Blood's not thicker than money
GROUCHO MARX I didn't like the play, but then I saw it under adverse conditions - the curtain was up.
GROUCHO MARX Marry me and I'll never look at another horse!
GROUCHO MARX The only real laughter comes from despair.
GROUCHO MARX Q: What do you get when you cross an insomniac, an agnostic, and a dyslexic?
A: Someone who stay...
GROUCHO MARX Either this man is dead or my watch has stopped.
GROUCHO MARX Outside of a dog, a man's best friend is a book. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
GROUCHO MARX Why a four-year-old child could understand this report. Run out and find me a four-year-old child. I...
GROUCHO MARX I cannot say that I do not disagree with you
GROUCHO MARX I would never belong to a group that would accept someone like me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX Years ago, I tried to top everybody, but I don't anymore, I realized it was killing conversation. Wh...
GROUCHO MARX I won't belong to any organization that would have me as a member
GROUCHO MARX Did I ever tell you how I shot a wild elephant in my pyjamas? How he got into my pyjamas I'll never ...
GROUCHO MARX